sheherazade Posted September 4, 2007 ^LOL. Val, if he's not romantic when he's trying to woo you FORGET ABOUT expecting it after. People don't change. Live with it or get him to get some practise in soonish. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted September 4, 2007 Woow what a quick comments! DD that was quite atrick, I agree but the men iam talking abt r not that smart 2 pich up hints LOOOL coz i know them they r exactly like DABSHID! how can any woman give DABSHID a romantic hints to those men a simple suggestion for a alone time is NAGGING! Walahi my hubby is almost picking up on their habbits n they r my only somali neighbours, they also expect their wives 2 give birth every year! how considerate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted September 4, 2007 Sheh sis tust me, pple change. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted September 4, 2007 Jimcaale it seems u,ve deprived minweyn of romance, lucky r those who wont be ur minwayn one day Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skipper Posted September 4, 2007 I seen a xalimo who wrote something here earlier that her husband bought her a baquet of flower. Since when was giving flowers been a form of showing you love someone amoung nomads? Or are we nomads adapting western culture? Never the less Uma has come up with issue´e that somali women are struggling with. A married guy was telling me the other day that if he stays home too much then he risks being hated by his wife.What a lame excuse. Imagine he is a father of 5 and still counting. Our Prophet Mohammed (saw) used to do house work so who are we to run away from it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted September 4, 2007 Umu Z, they can but not because you want them to- they do it because they have some kind of insight one day, someday, somehow. There is no guarantee they'll change. If u're willing to wait for a change and/or nag in the meantime then you'll have to deal with the frustration that accompanies it. If it's not something crucial then accept the lack of romance or whatever or inject some in yourself. Far easier to lead the way and watch someone join in than demand it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted September 4, 2007 That was a ridiculous excuse skipper. Religious menn treat their wives best according to my observations apart from the poligamy issue!. Second r the modernized educated ones. God help the sises who married geelgireyaal. I am thinking of writing to the local sheikh coz menn r the ones who complain all the time abt us!. this is a marital crises all these wives demand is a little bit of their husbands attention, i wish I was the marriage police. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted September 4, 2007 A typical day What do u really think of this? 5.30AM> wife gets up, prays and starts to prepare breakfast, wakes husband up, he easts and goes to work. UNTILL NOON> wife does the domestic work and takes care of the children, those who go to daycare n the infants. NOON. Wife prepares lunch for her husband, tries to call some freinds Husband arrives home , gets his lunch n strait to bed for napping, wakes up lator n prays takes his casariya mid evening meals or shaah whatever u call it and heads to the town or the local mosques. Comes back late evening and he is tired n wants to sleep coz he has to start over 2morrow again! wife serves dinner, tries to make some conversations with him, he may or may not even listen. She on the other hand has the pressure of raising kids, doing domestic work, some of them work, take kids to school or day care and ofcourse take care of all the husbands needs. What does she deserve in return? Believe me, somali woman have alot of patience, i for 1 cant endure all of that. Kudos to those who do that just to keep their family intact. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted September 4, 2007 Horta whats up with this constant complaining some somali women do about their spouses,..its constant wuxuu sameeyee,wuxuu sameyniin..blah blah blah!!! Honestly Umu stay away from these women,their issues will start to effect your relationship with your husband.They will start to assume,make you believe your husband is like their husbands and give opinion and meddle in your affairs. You know your husband well,and you my dear need to address the issue at hand with your husband before the crack gets wider. My dear Umu you just have to find what works for you and your hubby, I repeat dont listen to those women!!Their whispers you must avoid! Every household is different,every couple are different,am assuming everyones definition of romance is different,some might like flowers,others to be dined,some to have their feet washed,while taking a candle lit bath..Yes Skipper[Pinny]we have been brainwashed, I knew reading those mills and boons in my hay days will one day pay off!!..Lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pujah Posted September 4, 2007 Originally posted by umu zakaria: A typical day What do u really think of this? 5.30AM> wife gets up, prays and starts to prepare breakfast, wakes husband up, he easts and goes to work. UNTILL NOON> wife does the domestic work and takes care of the children, those who go to daycare n the infants. NOON. Wife prepares lunch for her husband, tries to call some freinds Husband arrives home , gets his lunch n strait to bed for napping, wakes up lator n prays takes his casariya mid evening meals or shaah whatever u call it and heads to the town or the local mosques. Comes back late evening and he is tired n wants to sleep coz he has to start over 2morrow again! wife serves dinner, tries to make some conversations with him, he may or may not even listen. She on the other hand has the pressure of raising kids, doing domestic work, some of them work, take kids to school or day care and ofcourse take care of all the husbands needs. What does she deserve in return? Believe me, somali woman have alot of patience, i for 1 cant endure all of that. Kudos to those who do that just to keep their family intact. I don't see any issue in the above scenario...it seems to me this two people have chosen their roles. He the provider and she the care taker. In this case if she wants help with teh domestic work then she needs to get from a@s and get a job so they can share the bills and the housework. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
umu zakaria Posted September 4, 2007 Keyf, dont ppl have onother kind of live where a man n his wife spend sometime togather, talk n help out each other, other than working, eating n sleeping, there is more to marriage than that. what do say abt those who in addition the above r working? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pujah Posted September 4, 2007 ^^well if I was doing all the house work (child care, cooking, cleaning etc) and slaving away at some company while he chit chats and only puts in his 8-9hrs work at the office. He wouldn't have a bed to sleep on at the house. bacda madow baan banaanka udhigi lahaa. However, if he is working to provide for the family and I chose to be stay at home mom I wouldn't complain about him not helping at all..cuz we have defined roles. get it. besides if you look on page one i have already shared my opinion on this issue Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskin Posted September 4, 2007 Ladies, remember "you get out what you give in" I f you are romantic and encaurage your hubby to be kind and romantic he will respond. But equally if you nagg and yell he will also respond by running to MAQAAYAD and the like. So stop complainig and act Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tahliil Posted September 5, 2007 Husband arrives home , gets his lunch n strait to bed for napping, wakes up lator n prays takes his casariya mid evening meals or shaah whatever u call it and heads to the town or the local mosques. Comes back late evening and he is tired n wants to sleep coz he has to start over 2morrow again! What a luck dawg.....don't recall the last time I got off work at noon, took my Casiriya nap and head out to town to chit chat friends...am really curious...would somebody tell what one needs to do to get that kinda job...?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Allamagan Posted September 5, 2007 A wise and challenging Xaliimo knows how to get the best out of her husband and especially how to make him become a very tame hubby (ideal hubby). Remember Hitler was like pet snake at home with Eva and venomous snake when outside. God given woman the art to influence and control man so if they can't do their homeworks then ragga xag-xagashada ha ka dayan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
