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Cilmi Bodheri --- Love or Lust??

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Cawo, good topic and you present a really good question.


Comment: I've heard many comments that many Somalis don't really know the meaning of love, although we are trying to change that and adopt to the Western ways of expressing love, seems we haven't reached a complete adaptation and we left our ways of dealing with love, Cilmi Bodher's to me it could be two things:

Love at first sight which happens to many pple w/out interacting with a partner and least of all knowing anything about that person, to me trully remarkable cuz its hard to fall in love on the basis of sight alone,

the other scenerio which you guys discussed lust could be true, this is important cuz many somalis mix that, the only way to know if you love someone is if you can't hide feelings for that person, i know many sisters find it hard to express while others get too emotional and blurb out everything,and we all know when brothers start playing games and dating as many as possible to hide their frustration the fear of giving all their heart to one, the medium is hard to maintain, but to play the love doctor w/out a degree here, is we need to get our S@#^&t together, for those of you this that feel this doesn't concern you ignore, but the rest who know what i am talking about comment pls.


Which brings me to my:


Question to all of you: what is your definition of love?



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Lefty sxb ....


Any idea where i can find "Qays and Leyla" book or even "Ayaandaran"? if you know where sxb ii sheeg coz i wonna get hold of them books. There was another book i read as a kid, my father bought it for me as a kid... and its called, if can remember, "Mar La'arag". Not sure about the title but it was one hell of a love story.




I agree with you for saying "the more you spend time with a person, the more love will develop. It is a theory I have been supporting over many years now that, true love is mostly created inside marriage life. Especially in the development of regular inter-dependence and interconnection between a husband and a wife, which in turn can exceed to constant reliance on each other emotionally or otherwise. That way long-term love is possible.




Trust me, Somalis know alot about love. It is just that some of us are way too inconfident to have faith in their own way of life. If one takes his/her feet off the ground and cannot reach the sky, he/she is floating within the wind of nothingness.

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I think this is by far the most interesting topic i seen...


I beleive Cilmi Boodheri was a CRAZY PERVERT!

He HAD FANTASY abt this HODAN woman, who HE knew he couldnt GET.


The Poor MAN had no GUTTS to go and meet this woman he supposedly a GOOD love STORY is NOT one SIDED, its a 2 WAY STREET..Not a one sided LUST SEEKING story LIKE THA!


And i have to AGREE with Ameenah, YOu cant deny urself basic Neccesities of LIFE for the heck OF LOVE!>.YAHUU...


So..I have to SAY the Poor PLAYA was for LUST!

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Najmo & Lakkad Thanks. I am fairly new and not familiar with the type of topics that are discussed here, but I thought this would be topic that would appeal to most of us.


He sounds to me like a guy who was in love with the idea of loving someone...Sort of putting a person on a pedstol without the intention of even trying to abtain them.



I couldn’t agree with you more sista.




I would categorically agree that we don't agree on the definition of Love.


To me in order to truly love another is to go through the 3 stage development.


1- Physical Attraction

2- Mental Connection

3- Emotional Affection


If you find the person attractive you are most likely to pursue them, once you have done that you see if you both mentally connect then finally your emotional affection starts to ripen rapidly.


See, is like this.


You’re walking down the street and you look at a shop window, you like the way they merchandised the goods on display, so you go in and see what’s in store. If you happen to like what you see once you’re inside the store then you invest in it. If you don’t you walk out empty handed. Simple


In Cilmi’s case he just had the 1st one, and as most you know that is just the tip of the iceberg, it does not mean you’re in love.

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Another yet interesting topic about love. Much has been said about love, much remains to be said about it, but what is clear is that love is

still as ambiguous as the day Adamn & Eve fell in love with each other.


The word love is broad and it encompasses many things. Lust is a subset of love and Love can exist independent of lust. One can love his/her children, one can love a location or a place, One can love a friend, Just to name a few.


In the case of Cilmi & Hodan, It was what I call irrational love. In other words, it is the kind of love that grows without partner. What is irrational about it is the fact that it may lead to stalking, extreme obsession of the other person, or poor health due to insomnia when it is clear that the love is one-sided.

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Jamaal..sxb I can't really locate the exact Book Store that has these type of books, as you know Somalis don't have sources where it's available all of those type of novel books. However, I'm sure you would be able to find atleast some of them through friends as I did. If I come across with them again, I'll inform you! and Surely, some of them deserve to hold on!



Guled..very interesting you called "irrational Love"..absolutely, you sound like DR.Love


Perhaps the most marvelous and interesting characteristic is being alone with One sided love. There's nothing happier than making yourself one happy one and the best way of achieving that is making sure fulfilling its demands to your best ability. If it doesn't go your way (as Cilmi Boodhari's case) and some other cases, make no bones about how the reality feels like to yourself. In my book, true love comes with chemistry side by side and that's why I had always doubt about Cilmi's Love. If you love someone, let it be known. If it doesn't work out in your favour, move on.

One sided love is not a complete love yet!




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My take on this is very simple as opposed to the academic or philosophical interpretation of the subject. Religion, as expected talks about ‘higher level’ love. Religion and philosophy aside, this word ‘Love’ is a word used so often in so many different context…for that is not surprising if we don’t agree how it’s defined.


Now excluding religion and philosophy, I’m equipped to make a bold and provocative assertion: That is Love is a blend of feelings, strong feelings, deep affection, and burning desire, toward someone. Paternal love has to do with preprogrammed genes coupled with religious or societal obligations and expectations. But love between opposite sex has to do with strong feelings, deep affection, desire or yearning to be together…that is if it is mutual…often that is not the case. Sometimes one side of the equation has more feelings toward the other while other may be indifferent the predicament of the partner-to-be. One may, for instance, be unable to get over with lover that is beyond one’s reach…or rejected one. What do we make of that? I argue it is still a love but a one that doesn’t have a partner to reciprocate her/his feelings toward one. Infatuation, lust, and host of other feelings enter sometimes in the love equation at some point in different degrees…but that doesn’t negate the overriding desire and devotion. Some say Love is state of mind. It may be, but I have hard time of separating state of mind and feelings.


Poor Cilmi was in love with Hodan but his love had to deal with a culture and society that values ‘Calaf’ and ‘Qadar’…when his yearning for Hodan persisted he was condemned by all. The prevailing view was, and rightly so, if the ‘Calaf’ is not your side…you should move on and you should not have slightest infatuation with married women period. Above all his object of love, Hodan, never had a say to whom she wants to be with. Now that is tragic…call it whatever u want irrational or what not…but all these adjectives you are using is for the noun: ‘Love’.

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is not so good to be speaking about dead people so

much and judgin their past. But this is a great

somali story, and as funny as it may seem, My grandmother, knows the lady hodan from around ways

well any way. I agreed with most of you



He wasn't in love he was nutsy. He was somewhat extremely infatuated and obssesed with Hodan. That doesn't make it love, just becuase you think you 'love' some1 doesn't give you the absolute right to possesing them, I mean khasab maaha jacaylku. Hadii uu qofku ku diido, mid kale ayaa la raadsadaa, you don't starve yourself to death..!! Acuudu Bilaah, that is nothing short of pure waali / madness. No human being should be given that much affection .. it's almost idolatory.

Agree..But You gotta look at the time of being

It wasn't so easy approach a lady.It was thread to

families if you ever did approach them

it would be the parents who decide the faith

of their doughter,and look back than the clan problems..


So i have yet to judge him..



I have spoken!!!

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Thanks Sister Awo for posting this interesting subject (Love), which most of Somalis misunderstood.


Aniguba qadraan soo arkiyo qaarakii hodane

Inaan Eebahay idin qaribin qariya laabtiina.



To support your argument, if you look Ilmi's poem you will see that he didn't even got the chance to talk to her accept to fall in love with her, and this is the proof.


Harka galay hurdadu way xuntee hohe maxaa i seexshay!!!!


Bal inaan habaar qabo maxaa hodan i waydaarshay!!!


The second poem is about when Hodan heard that Ilmi is sick because of her, she tried to visit him but he was at sleep, short after she left he woke up and he was told that Hodan had came to visit him but he missed her because of his sleep.


That when he read this poem.


If love is a feeling, yes he was in love and that’s what causes his death, but if love is shukaansi no that did not happened.


But guys let me ask you how many couples are in Shukaansi stake but never got their destination.


Love is something that we can talk about, but you can't touch love, you can't see love but you can’t feel it, and that's exactly what Mr. friend Elmi had felt.




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No! He was more like bit Horny, High on Gabay and a mean case of Heerbaadiyenism, God knows what happen the day Hodan did the booty-dance “Hadhka Galay Hurdada weey xuntee hoheey maxaa is seexshi…The guy miss the matinee show, for crying out load. Tell me what else can make a man say “Hooheey” Hooheey is for chicks’ man and Alla Ba’ayeey and all that stuff. The guy wasn’t even on his right state of mind.


It ain’t love Girlfriend. It got to be a Lust gone amuck. HORNY!

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Interesting points raised by some but for the most part everyone seems to either forget that Cilmi was reciting poems about love when the word JACEYL was taboo and no man dare profess that in public for fear of shaming himself and his would be lover.Society was very conservative and by far more strict in terms of tradition.Women hardly ventured outside their homes and marriages very strictly a family arranged business.In public theatres men would dress up as women and play their roles.That was the period Elmi lived and thats the reason why he is considered a pioneer.Hal gabey oo hees laga dhigey baa meeshaa lagu soo celcelinayaa.This guy recited more poems for Hodan than most Abwaans recite in a lifetime unfortunately only a few are written down others bits n pieces are known while most have been erased from the annals of history...Here's one of these many poems.


Waxaan huguguf leeyaba dhakhsaan ku hor imaadaaye

Sida halo kareebaan saqdhexe soo horanayaaye

Sida ubadku hooyada u tebo kuu hafeeftamaye

Hadii aanan ku lahayn yartaay kuma haleeleene

Habeenkii yimaadaba lixjeer kuma horjoogeene

Hal abuurka kuumaan tirsheen heeska caashaqa e


Bal hor joogsi daayoo anaan haynin aragaaga

Hareertayda ood joogtidbaan ku hami qaataaye

Markaasaan humaagiyo cidladaku hambalyeystaaye

Hilinkaynu maridoono iyo hooy ku taamaaye

Hagaageena iyo khayr ayaan ku hindisoodaaye

Markaan keligeey haasaawayeen aan islahadlaayo

Ayagoon wax hubinoo ogeyn waxa i heeteeyey

Dadku waxay u haystaan inaan dhigay hugeygiiye

Hadaaq ay wax sheeg-sheegayaan uma haboonayne

Haabkooda may gelin cishqiga hawsha daba taale


Inta uu hadhuudhlaha kudaray ama hed soo gooyey

hal-hal tirada waan lagu heleyn an-iyo Haabiile

Anigana haduu igu shakalay hadimadiisiiye

Imikuu u hees yidhi gab'dhaa taan hanteen rabaye

Aniguna hensii kaama lumin u halgankiisiiye


Waa waxan hadhuub ugu sitaa hoorka caashaqa e

Waa waxan dhul heegadu martiyo Hodan u geeyaaye

Waa waxan haboow uga jiraa horukac mooyaane

Waa waxan hirdoogliyo caleen ugu horseedaaye


Hablahoo dhan keligaa yartaay hibeda laysaarye

Sida hogol kaliishii da'doo milicdu ay-hayso

Ama lebiga hawdoo gugii ubaxu heeryeeyey

Oo haadku dhaafoo shinbiro cimilo goor heesa

Aadmigu ma hilayee dhakhsuu ugu hiloobaaye

Anna xiisahaan kuu hayaa kaba hanaan-dheere

Ninba tuu ka helay buu gab-dhaha Hodan ku sheegaaye

Oon heerkastay qurux ka tahay hawlin taa kale'e

Anna dookhu adiguu huwadey kuna hareer yaale

Qaar buu gab-dhaha hilibku iyo hugu cusleeyaaye

Adna inaanad haabkaa ahayn hubiyey dhawrjeere



And here's another poem he recited......


Caashaqa haween waa horaa Caadil soo rogaye

Sayidkii cishqiqa nuureiyo Caliba soo gaadhye

Caruurtay sideen ciirshe meesha iyo nebigiiye

Cidla lagama beermeen dadkoo cudud waaxidahe

Waxa caynba cayn looga dhigay ha is cajabiyaane

Soomaalidaa caado xune cidi iguma caydeene

Oo ima canaanateen sidaan cuud ka iibsadaye

Kuwii ii calaacalay baan caqli tusaalayne


Sida weelka caanaha hadii laabta loo culayo

Bal aan soo cidaadee maxaa cunaha dhaafaaye

Curuuqda maxaa kala dhex geli cadaha hoostooda

Ma ciidaamkanaa jabinaya cunaya dhuuxooda

Inaanse cadaydo mooyee waxaan calalsho la'ii diidye

Caqliga yaa ka bi'in tuu Ilaah ku cir-cadaayeeyey

Cimrigayga oon jirin intii lagu ciroobaayey

Muga inaan cadaadaabaan ka biqi Canab darteede

Cududuhu ma naxaan qofkay talo ku ciirtaaye


Casharkay wadaadadu qoreen cudurkan go'i waayey

Cilmi dawo waliba doontay oo weyday cilinkiise

Jeeraan Canabeey ku helo caafimaad dhimaye

Inaan caad noqdaa baa ka roon caawa saan ahaye

Ilayn caashaq lama maydhi karo kugu ciroobay.

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^^Right on! Gediid.



Kolba aniga oo sahashaday oo saari ka ahaaday

Ayuunbaa siraab midabkileey lay sawirayaaye

Sidrigay ku daabacan tahee uma sakhraameene

Sidii saacaddiibay qalbiga iiga socotaaye

Habeenkii markaan seexdo way ila safaaddaaye

Salaadii horay iga tagtaa ooy siigo noqotaaye.



Maryama Xaashi iyo tuu Gahayr Madar ka sheegaayo

Iyo marantiduu Cige Baraar meel fog kaga boodey

Muran maleh Ducaalow inay muunad dheer tahaye

Maankaba ka jaray naago kale muhindiskoodiiye

Haddii qaaddi ii meheriyoo midigta lay saaro

Ka mabsuuday dunidaba illeen maalintaa qudhahe.

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