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Hibo

Can you marry someone your heart doesn't want??

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Hibo   

 

And here I thought I was the only one! Qalanjo I feel 4 u girl! All I can say is....if u think u can stand living with him, then go for it, if not then don't. I don't know how helpful this is going to be but I would say don't marry him if u have the slightest doubt. U don't want to end up a divorced single parent in a few years time.

 

PLS let me know what u decide on......ok?

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Jalaato   

Qlanjo, you have been going out 2 years with this perfect guy who's ten years older than you, and now you feel that you don't love him, just us much. Sister what I see here is that you're not the victim after all. You said, he loves you very much, he's every thing that women could ask for; looks,education,deen,personality and so on. Sis since you're 22 you can still shop around, but time is running out for the brother, so tell him now that "YOU DON'T LOVE HIM AND YOU CAN't MARRY HIM WITH RESPECT" bleave me no one likes to waste his/her time for nothing. My hope is that you find the courage to tell him that' right away. My wish is the best of luck two of you.

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raula   

Qlanjo, sis I feel 4 u and whach U r going thru' however, what I don't get it is: how can U (urself) be going out with this nigga when u dont luv him , after all this tyme?? I mean I can understand when U really dont care bout someone, but r u sure U dont really care 4 this guy? Bcoz it seems 2 me that there must be something that this guy is sticking around 4? whether he finds u to be a married material or not;it might be that he is taking U friendship(?) very interesting and serious that he is assuming that he luvs u instead...instead of friendship....

 

From my point of view, kick him to the cab(with dignity & respect) b4 someone is obssessed...4real this *@ happens and it might be U next...

 

Midwesta.....regulate

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ONKOD   

Qalanjo you said

 

Quote

"IT'S NOT WORKING, NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES FOR ME," DAMN GIRL HE DOES NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU TO LOVE HIM.

QUOTE

"I'VE NO LOVE FOR HIM ABSOLUTELY WHATSOEVER"

AUCH THAT HURTS, BUT SOMETIMES HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. ARE YOU REALLY BEING HONEST?HONESTY DOES NOT MEAN TO TELL HIM YOU DO NOT WANT HIM BUT ACT LIKE YOU STILL WANT HIM.

 

"I SEE HIM AS MY OWN BROTHER, NOT A MAN ( I MEAN I DON'T SEE HIM AS SOMEONE I WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO" GIRLFRIEND YOU'VE GOT ALL THE ANSWERS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

 

LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND HE LOVES YOU SO PLEASE DO NOT HANG AROUND WITH HIM AND TRY TO BE HIS FRIEND.

SET HIM FREE THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR HIM.

 

NO MORE CONFORTING,YOU ARE MAKING HIM CRAVE YOU MORE AND MORE. SOMEHOW IT IS THE TRUTH BUT HE WILL ALSO THINK THAT HE IS GOT A CHANCE.

 

DO NOT PRETEND TO BE WHAT EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO BE. IF HE IS MR. RIGHT IN THE EYES OF OTHERS AND YET HE CAN'T WIN YOUR HEART,THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP.

 

I GUESS THE AGE GAP PLAYS A BIG ROLE. YOU NEED A PARTNER NOT A FATHER 10 YRS IS A LOT SISTER.

 

YOU ARE 22YRS OLD GET A DEGREE AND IF YOU DID ALREADY GET THE MASTERS DEGREE,HAVE FUN AND ENJOY LIFE. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MARRIAGE NOW YOU ARE STILL YOUNG.

 

SISTER EMPOWER YOURSELF DO NOT DEPEND ON SOMEONE ELSE'S EDUCATION OR CAREER FOR THAT MATTER. confused.gif

 

GOOD LUCK....

 

THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

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Observer.... Stop Observing things!...lol on a serious note though, I do believe in Love and life is nothing I mean Nothing without It!!

 

 

Ma'salaama

 

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Naztexo   

No u can't marry them....cuz they annoying ...unless ya need to survive....probably if the person is rich or something like that lol

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Zafir   

Originally posted by Libaax-Sankataabte:

Promise that you would understand this senario and get the most out of it. We nomads are always here to help.

 

Love is governed by three forces.

 

1. PASSION (that sexual attraction that makes you wanna say....uuuuh. You see him walk by and you shake....that force is called passion.)

 

2. Intimacy (The close bond between you two partners. Things like sharing secrets, stories, understanding, clicking with each other, having jokes, being around each other, having sex, kissing each other, you know...)

 

3. Commitment (Commitment is very important in any relationship. Without it, nothing will ever work for you....I mean...if you still have the Somali values....Every nomad queen wants commitment. FOR BETTER or FOR WORSE....Arooskeena aaamiiin....arooskeena aaamiin.)

 

Now, think of what is important to you. Which combination of these three forces is acceptable to you?

 

you can have (assuming that if one force is low in power, it is completly missing)

 

(passion, commitment) ... being married to a good looking guy that you don't click with. You guys don't undestand each other at all. The habit of arguing with each other all the time.

 

(passion, intimacy) ... Going out with a good looking guy that you understand very well, but somehow he doesn't want to get married or something. The commitment that you Somali queen want is missing. This is bad according to our culture. Naa orodoo ninka guurso meelaha ha la warwareegine.

 

(commitment, intimacy) ... this is the case for many Somali families specially the traditional nomads. Convenience marriages. It works most of the time. You raise kids very well and life is good. It is sometimes called the Controlled-Hormones marriage. Hooyooyinkeen and Aaboyaasheen probably went through this back home.

 

(passion, intimacy, commitment) ... this is true love. It is very rare. Don't fool yourself. It is hard to have the three together in marriages.

 

(passion only) ... well, just having sex with a daamn looking guy.

 

(intimacy only) ...Best senario is friendship. He is your best friend.

 

(commitment only) ... Best senario is being married to an old geezer your dad hooked you up with. You don't understand him and you are not attaracted to him.

 

 

Now, think of what you want out of life. Be realistic and set goal that you can only achieve. You don't want to be dissapointed later.

 

I gotta pick up my little sister from Dugsi quraan. Hope this helps.

LST Wisdon.

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Gediid   

Originally posted by Libaax-Sankataabte:

Promise that you would understand this senario and get the most out of it. We nomads are always here to help.

 

Love is governed by three forces.

 

1. PASSION (that sexual attraction that makes you wanna say....uuuuh. You see him walk by and you shake....that force is called passion.)

 

2. Intimacy (The close bond between you two partners. Things like sharing secrets, stories, understanding, clicking with each other, having jokes, being around each other, having sex, kissing each other, you know...)

 

3. Commitment (Commitment is very important in any relationship. Without it, nothing will ever work for you....I mean...if you still have the Somali values....Every nomad queen wants commitment. FOR BETTER or FOR WORSE....Arooskeena aaamiiin....arooskeena aaamiin.)

 

Now, think of what is important to you. Which combination of these three forces is acceptable to you?

 

you can have (assuming that if one force is low in power, it is completly missing)

 

(passion, commitment) ... being married to a good looking guy that you don't click with. You guys don't undestand each other at all. The habit of arguing with each other all the time.

 

(passion, intimacy) ... Going out with a good looking guy that you understand very well, but somehow he doesn't want to get married or something. The commitment that you Somali queen want is missing. This is bad according to our culture. Naa orodoo ninka guurso meelaha ha la warwareegine.

 

(commitment, intimacy) ... this is the case for many Somali families specially the traditional nomads. Convenience marriages. It works most of the time. You raise kids very well and life is good. It is sometimes called the Controlled-Hormones marriage. Hooyooyinkeen and Aaboyaasheen probably went through this back home.

 

(passion, intimacy, commitment) ... this is true love. It is very rare. Don't fool yourself. It is hard to have the three together in marriages.

 

(passion only) ... well, just having sex with a daamn looking guy.

 

(intimacy only) ...Best senario is friendship. He is your best friend.

 

(commitment only) ... Best senario is being married to an old geezer your dad hooked you up with. You don't understand him and you are not attaracted to him.

 

 

Now, think of what you want out of life. Be realistic and set goal that you can only achieve. You don't want to be dissapointed later.

 

I gotta pick up my little sister from Dugsi quraan. Hope this helps.

5 years ago Libaax was the go to guy in matters of the heart,what ever happened to that side of LST?

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Zafir   

He still is, but no one goes to him anymore. Cara has it on lock now a days. Why? Are you having problems Gediid?

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