Alpha's Troll and Cantarbaqash Corner LOL

[Maqane]

Alpha, May i advertise here?

http://www.somaliaonline.com/community/showthread.php/70875-English-gt-Somali-Qaamuus-Digital-version-WANTED

[Alpha Blondy]

^ i've got that! i wish there was someway of sending a new copy to you, inaar.

 

try http://www.redsea-online.com/index.php

 

good luck.

 

p.s - thanks for being loyal. as you can see i've been deserted by all. appreciate the support, inaar.

[Alpha Blondy]

Somalia’s eligible bachelors – and how to spot them

 

 

“London or Minneapolis?” a soft female voice asks. It comes from a few tables behind me at Village Restaurant – a popular hangout for Somali diasporans in Mogadishu – as I finish a call to my friend.

 

“Eastleigh,” I respond, trying not to disclose my London background. Eastleigh is a district in Nairobi, inhabited mainly by Somalis.

 

Clutching a shisha pipe in her right hand that is patterned with henna flowers, she blows thick white smoke that fills up the dimly lit corner of the restaurant. “You may dress like a local but you don’t sound like the Eastleigh type. You definitely don’t look like one.”

 

Moving her chair to to my table, she introduces herself as Hamdi from Hamarweyne, a district in Mogadishu. In the dim lights her gold necklace and rings are hard to miss, and one can smell the incense smoke she perfumed her long, black, orange-highlighted hair with from a mile away.

 

Her two female friends soon join us. They’ve come here in the hope of mingling with their preferred type of men – diasporan guys.

 

With fragile peace holding up in Mogadishu, Somalis who have been living abroad are flocking back home for a visit. Most of them are single men – eligible bachelors. They are to Somali women what English Premier League footballers are to London women: the cream of the crop.

 

Most local women think Somalis living abroad, especially in the West, have lots of money. It’s easy for diasporan men to seduce them with cash, the perceived chance of a better life abroad or love. There are unproven theories that diasporan men are more romantic than local men; that only a diasporan man will drive for miles to the one flower shop in town to buy his lady flowers; that, unlike local men, diasporan men listen to their ladies while romantically gazing into their eyes.

 

I ask Hamdi how she knows I’m not local. She smiles. “I can even tell what you do for a living.”

 

She and her friends reckon there are three types of diasporan men in Mogadishu. Like spots on the skin of a leopard each group has unique features, they say. They dress and carry themselves differently.

 

1. The government workers

This group is mainly made up of former taxi drivers from London, Minneapolis, Toronto and Sydney who have returned home to work in government.

 

They wear oversized two-piece suits and walk around with briefcases whose contents are a mystery. To finish off the look, they sport dark glasses (plastic). This group, the girls say, don’t have the most amount of money. They’re very visible at the beginning of the month just after they’ve received their meagre pay cheques. Their strong point is that they have access to power, which means they can potentially help you land a job if you play your cards right. This group attracts unemployed female university graduates looking for work in government offices, Hamdi’s friend Fartun reveals.

 

2. The business types/MBA

More often than not, these men are dressed in expensive sarongs and polyester shirts. They’re older than the government workers and tip the obese end of the scale, but they have deep pockets.

 

What they lack in looks and charm, they compensate for in gifts. They usually have at least one wife outside Somalia and half a dozen children. These men are commonly referred to as MBA – Married But Available. They attract women women who dream of shopping trips to Dubai and are okay with being the second, third or fourth wife.

 

3. The cool guys

According to the ladies, this group has the most fun but the lightest pockets. They’re the new cool kids on the block, sent back to Somalia by their families because they’ve become too westernised in their adopted home countries. They depend on donations from relatives in the West and have the worst reputation among the locals.

 

Young and fashionable, they sport the latest hairstyles like mohawks and some have tattoos hidden under their long sleeve shirts. If they don’t conceal them, they risk facing the wrath of conservative Muslim locals.

 

You can find the cool guys chilling on Liido Beach or Hamarweyne, the most liberal district of Mogadishu. They know how to throw underground parties on a budget among the bullet-battered buildings of the city, and supply all kinds of illegal recreational stuff. To be seen with them is to play with fire but the girls who want to be “Hollywood cool” feel at home in their company.

 

Fartun prefers the business types because they can afford the things she likes in life, like dining at the few nice restaurants in town. A decent meal for two at one of these spots can start at US $25. In Somali culture men always pay for the meal, which means high-end restaurants are out of budget for many of the local men.

 

With the summer holidays coming up, an influx of diasporan men are expected in Mogadishu in the next few months. Hamdi and her friends say they’re happy about this – the more fish in the sea, the better the chance of a good catch.

 

Before leaving the restaurant, I again ask Hamdi what she thinks I do and what group of eligible bachelors she’s put me in. After inspecting me from head to toe, she says: “Judging by the sandals and the T-shirt you wearing, you look like they’ve deported you from London.”

 

Hamza Mohamed is an independent British-Somali journalist. Connect with him on Twitter.

 

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http://voicesofafrica.co.za/somalias-eligible-bachelors-and-how-to-spot-them/

 

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interesting read.

[Alpha Blondy]

jeudi soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooir!

 

its the weekend y'all. the weekend ee taa laa soco.

[Alpha Blondy]

 

 

enjoying my jeudi soir with some kenyan (bantu) guests!

[Maqane]

Alpha Blondy;942655 wrote:

^ i've got that! i wish there was someway of sending a new copy to you, inaar.

 

try

http://www.redsea-online.com/index.php

 

good luck.

 

p.s - thanks for being loyal. as you can see i've been deserted by all. appreciate the support, inaar.

Alpha, Mahadsanid sxb, isaga oo buug ah uma baahni, kaas waan heli karaa , laakiin waxaan doonayaa isaga oo Digital version ah oo diyaarsan.

 

Thanks for the link, support and your compliment

[Alpha Blondy]

inaar abbaasooow,

 

it's always a pleasure to help a brother. you're an excellent guy and the pleasure is all mine.

 

why the sudden urge to have this book. i suppose you're using it to learn somali, somaha?.

 

i buy the papers daily and this has been very useful. i'm reading geeska newspaper, right now. i purchase two books today. both somali, too. i have an excelllent collection of somali book, that i hope to donate to the new library that will be built in hargeisa. i hope you can visit hargeisa one day, inaar.

 

 

 

 

http://hargeisalibrary.com/index.html

[Alpha Blondy]

Alpha Blondy;930510 wrote:

 

Buuggan waxa gacantiisa ku soo guuriyay nin yamani ah oo magaciisa la yidhaah Sayid Cali Cabdallah Axmad Al Imaam. Ninkani iyo reerkiisuba waxa ay ku abtirsadaan Sh. Isaxaaq Ibnu Axmed. Hasa yeeshee isagu ma ahayn ninkii soo sameeyay cilmi baadhistan cajiibka ah, ee waxa isaga ula yimid, oo cilmi baadhe ahaa, nin asalkiisu ahaa reer Marooko. Kaas oo isaga iyo aabihiiba ay soo dageen magaalada Cadan 1330H (oo ku beegan 1912kii) Ninkaas Reer Marooka oo la odhan jiray Sayid Maxamed Axmad Al Qarbaani, ayaa mudo badan isku hawlay sidii uu ku soo uruurin laha taariikhda Sheekh Isaxaaq Ibnu Axmed isaga oo iskaga dab-qaaday magaaloyinka Cadan, Beexaan, Sharaf, Sanca, Jawf iyo Isxaaqiya oo dhamaantood ku yaala dalka Yaman. Waxa uu ku raad joogay kutub ahayd ‘Oday-ka-Soo-Gaadh’ oo ay lahaayihiin Saadada Reer Yaman. Kutubtaas oo aad loo ilaaliyo. Sayid Maxamed Al-Qarbaani waxa uu si gaar ah u daba-galay taariikhdii Sheekh Isaxaaq Ibnu Axmed.

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.......QABIL GONE MAD, MA ISTIDHI?

i bought this book today. its was $10. a bit expensive but should make for an interesting read, you know.

[Alpha Blondy]

what's good y'all.

 

jimco wanagsan oo wacan.

[Alpha Blondy]

MOVIE night! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 

so much to chose from. OMG, i'm literally spoilt for choice.

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Maqane]

Alpha Blondy;943125 wrote:

inaar abbaasooow,

 

it's always a pleasure to help a brother. you're an excellent guy and the pleasure is all mine.

 

why the sudden urge to have this book. i suppose you're using it to learn somali, somaha?.

 

i buy the papers daily and this has been very useful. i'm reading geeska newspaper, right now. i purchase two books today. both somali, too. i have an excelllent collection of somali book, that i hope to donate to the new library that will be built in hargeisa. i hope you can visit hargeisa one day, inaar.

 

 

 

 

http://hargeisalibrary.com/index.html

Alpha, thanks for your kind words Walaal, i appreciate 'em. The reason i'm asking for the book is the fact that i would like to improve my Somali and English too, sidoo kale waxaan ku maqshquul sanahay Mashruuc kusaabsan/ugu magac daray "Sharing knowledge in Afsoomaali" oo aan doonayo ineey uga faa'iideeystaan bulshada Soomaaliyeed ama kuhadasha/fahma luqada hooyo (afsoomaaliga) iyo mashruucyo kale oo aan doonayo in aay mustaqbalka ii suurto galaan "Alle haduu idmo" . Sidaas owgeed baan diyaarinayaa "tools" kii aan u baahnaa to make a good start.

 

 

Hargeeysa waa dhulkeeygii hooyo, hadda kahor baan booqasho ku maray, laakiin waxeey iigu jirtaa "Wishlist"geeyga. Soomaaliya oodhan baan jeclaan lahaa inaan booqdo haduu waqtiga ii saamaxo Mustaqbalka. Run ahaantii, who knows i'll meet with president Alpha one-day!

 

library-ga aad buu muhiim ugu yahay bulshada. I hope and wish it will be successful project insha'Allah.

[oba hiloowlow]

Abbaasoow saaxiib so reer juungal,yaaqshiid islama nihin hadaba dont post in this thread meeshii kale oba malayaacni post in there if you respect our ehelnimo

[Alpha Blondy]

 

 

[Alpha Blondy]

summoning Apo and Haatu for a bit of trolling this Saturday afternoon.

 

what do you say guys?

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Haatu]

Don't get your hopes up abti, I'm only on revision break