Brothers Share One Wife

[OdaySomali]

nuune;826185 wrote:

I know a friend whom

all his 3 brothers died, and they left three wives

,

one left actually 2 wives, while the other two left 2 wives

, so in total, the dead 3 brothers left 4 wives, so the only remaining brother responsibility weyn ayaa sugeyso, he had a wife but had to divorce her to accommodate the 4 wives in waiting, and it happened, they all live in happily now.

So did they leave three or four wifes ?... not that it really matters.

[Mario B]

Jamelia;826379 wrote:

Huh? He divorced his wife and left his children's mother(assuming they had kids together), to marry and make way for his deceased brothers wives and kids.

 

But what about the affect on his own children? Why does he need to break up his own family unit to be able to support his brothers kids?

 

Where is the logic in all this?

I assume the wife was barren? :confused: nevertheless it seems unjust!

[Coofle]

It may seem offensive,,,,But Somewhere In Somalia (Not mentioning where, attack uma dulqaadan karo) I heard that they have a concept called "Ninku hadii uu Awlaad waayo miyuu waalaal waayay"...Meaning "If he cannot breed by his own , Let his brothers help him"

 

I have seen one lady, Rumors said that she left her Husband in that Specific town after a similar incident..... Her husband was Janaale "In Saudi arabia" his brother came to her and offered himself but she refused and went to her Father in law but he replied with .. "Wuxu saw xoolihii walaalkiis maaha"..She left the town goor aan habeena ahayn dharaarna ahayn....inta aan la sharciyaysan...

[OdaySomali]

^ Mate who knows what things go on in those nomadic huts miles from each other

[Blessed]

OdaySomali;826296 wrote:

So the deal he offered them is I will help you only if I can have sex with all of you ? How very selfless of our pal. What was the going rate, $50 for sex per month ??

 

Its a ruthless system in which sex is exchanged for money/help. In some cases the brother(s) might marry the wifes not to actually take them as wifes, but selfishly its an arangement to prevent the women marrying another man for money/help in exchange. You see, the pride of Somalis does not allow the family of the man to help the woman/children should she marry another man (outside the family).

You hit that on the nail.. it's their duty to look after their brothers children. Cawaan iy nus!

[Abwaan]

Alpha Blondy;826099 wrote:

Jb, how does this differ from the somali custom of 'dumaal'? i've always found that interesting.

Dumaal miyaa wax la sharegareeyaa at the same time? I wouldn't approve all Dumaal marriages but it works well sometimes.

[Jacpher]

For those of you condemning dumaal, there are far more disgusting and repulsive things in Somali dhaqan should you care to speak against but dumaal?

 

Dumaal is about two consenting adults forming a union, usually having children of their own and with family ties. It is not any different than any other marriage. It may be uff to you but to diinta and dhaqanka wanaagsan ee Soomaaliyeed, it is a lawful marriage worthy of respect.

 

I don't understand how this topic turned into a referendum on dumaal. Somehow some people perceive dumaal as sharing wives :D

[Paragon]

I think we've lived in late-modernity as to find our own, religiously allowed, cultural practices very revolting. I think the cultural alteration and brain-washing that we've un-knowingly went through need better review.

 

In Somalia, traditional marriage is not conceived wholly as a sexual transaction - the very concept of safe-guarding the foundations of a home is more important than the wealth or sexual innuendos some of us allude to.

 

As for the topic at hand - these wife-sharing customs mostly originate in Tibet. For us, this practise is indeed revolting, but for them its altogether a different story. For me, the very idea of two men sharing one woman is strangely unsettling - a woman or a wife is perhaps the only thing two men can not naturally share. The male instinct simply would not allow it. Thus, I ponder over the many years of cultural denegration it might have taken for this wife-sharing business to emerge.

 

Then again, lakum diinakum waliya diin

[aero]

nuune;826185 wrote:

....he had a wife but had to divorce her to accommodate the 4 wives in waiting, and it happened, they all live in happily now.

That absolutely does not make any damn sense to me. I'm all for traditions but when it contradicts any weight of sense, I'd rather dispose of it. How is a man going to simply turn away from his current wife, who in my opinion has far greater right than his brothers' widowed wives, just to simply care and maintain for them? You can sure hell do that outside of marriage. Uh-uh. That is beyond me. Not to mention the awkwardness and confusion of the children they'll have o_O. Cousin? Sibling? Good Lord have mercy on my soul! No thank you!