oz_girl Posted August 25, 2009 I think my fear of men is preventing me from finding a spouse. I know to some that might sound ludicrous but to me it's ruining my life. My debilitating fear is crippling me in the romance department. If a guy shows an interest i immediately withdraw from his company .Everyone thinks i'm being secretive about my relationships but how do i tell them that none exist? How do you tell your friends that you're afraid to be in a relationship with a man? I've had plenty or a decent number of guys who've shown interest in me but once they do i become flustered and put off. If i like a guy i become very hostile and snobbish around him even though my heart is singing a different tune. I think I’ve taken "play hard to get" to a dangerous and unhealthy level. do any of you ladies feel the same way? And how do I go about freeing myself from these shackles? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MAXIMUS POWERS Posted August 25, 2009 http://www.youtube.c om/watch?v=EpwFk0jAQ Bg&feature=related Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oz_girl Posted August 25, 2009 my comp is very slow.. wats the gist of the video? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ducaysane Posted August 25, 2009 Hadiiba Farxiya la guursadey adiguna nin ma waayeysid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted August 25, 2009 Hey yo oz-gal, plz remember that 1st 2 problem solutions are free. However, for the 3rd, u will need to provide id and a credit card. fyi since hitting the limit. For this 2nd problem, it aint nothing its natural. Start with a movie date. Sitting next to him in public will calm u doing. Insha Allah after Ramadaan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted August 25, 2009 ^ LoL I am glad you put the "After ramadan" disclaimer. Oz Girl. First - I would seriously recommend that you DO NOT discuss personal concerns on a online forum. You mentioned that your friends don't believe or trust your fears from men are true. I suggest you find atleast one friend or family friend - close in age - to disclose ur concerns to and talk to them. Any advise they give u will be a million times better than any advise anyone here will give u Secondly if this fear is as a result of some form of childhood trauma - physical or (am sorry to say) sexual abuse - its best to seek counselling. my two cents Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted August 25, 2009 Oz if you know all the signals then maybe next time a decent guy shows an interest you can stop yourself before running the other way. Also ask yourself what you are so afraid of? What is the worst that can happen? Anyw all the best inshallah, dnt worry too much about it, maybe noone has been decent enough to stick around for so far. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kamaavi Posted August 26, 2009 Lol@my comp is very slow. Anu waxaan ku dhihi laha bisinka isooga qabo kii alla kii aad is fahmi kartaan. Nolosha ayaa iska gaaban. (ogow wax lagu talo xumaado guurbaa ugu fiican) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oz_girl Posted August 26, 2009 Hayam i don't mind discussing personal stuff on here as no one knows who i really am. I like that you can remain anonymous and seek advice from an array of people. I just want to get an insight on the problem and hopefully nip it in the butt. And no I haven’t be fiddled with. Thank god. Farancab my somali is limited so can you please translate it to english? Thanks bud chubaka you may be right darls rudiya of course after Ramadan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted August 26, 2009 Go into therapy.Since none of us know the deeper emotional issues you're facing, we can't be that helpful. Good luck dear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oz_girl Posted August 26, 2009 lol at thearpy..that bad huh? i never looked at it that way... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kamaavi Posted August 26, 2009 Oz, My english is limited as well but let me try bal. Translation: Look no so deep in to life things, use all of your mind not in forums, even this site. (Welcome! Relax & have fun with other Jamee'a) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oz_girl Posted August 26, 2009 lol.... will do... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 26, 2009 Oz-Girl, Maybe Allah loves you and is protecting you, I don't really see it as a problem. You are just either painfully shy, have communication problems, or have an issue with the whole marriage idea- maybe you are not ready yet hence why you keep sabotaging yourself. If and when you are ready to get married, start carrying little business cards with you dad, brother or walis number on it. When a guy approaches you and you do a bit of background research and find that he is decent enough, give him a card, if he is serious about you, he will come through the normal hala means and you won’t have to face him on your own, otherwise he was not worth it in the first place or just wanted to play around. Relationships are so overrated, plus you have so much drama at take off, that it will really be just too much hassle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abwaan Posted August 26, 2009 Originally posted by Ducaysane: Hadiiba Farxiya la guursadey adiguna nin ma waayeysid. looooooooool...The best encouragement one could think of! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
