Warmoog Posted February 7, 2004 I know sistas who say they'll never marry Somali guys for numerous reasons... 'they're too old-fashioned', 'too domineering', 'too lazy around the house', 'too ugly', etc. One particular sista told me she's rather marry an Arab or White convert, saying "think of how beautiful the kids will be"... But underneath these lame excuses, all I heard were echoes of their own deep-seated insecuries and self-hate. Now, I'm not saying all sistas who marry non-Somalis think like this. And I'm also not against interracial marriages. But I don't think one should consciously marry non-Somalis for the simple fact that they're non-Somalis. I just find that disturbing. By now, I think my question for the sistas is obvious. Would you marry a non-Somali and why? Salaamz. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Intizaar Posted February 7, 2004 Yasmine dear I wouldn't marry non Somali because I share Culture, tradition, language with my fellow country ma. No matter how horrible the picture some sisters paint about our Farahs, they r still the back bone of our society. Besides, I would like my children and my parents speak freely without enterprator. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iffah Posted February 7, 2004 Originally posted by Yasmine: they're too old-fashioned', 'too domineering', 'too lazy around the house', 'too ugly', etc. Honestly, I don't understand why those who choose to marry outside of their race belittle their own people in the process. If you want to marry an ajinabi, by all means go for it, but please don't try to justify your actions to us by pointing out the undesirable qualities of our people. I will not disrespect your choice of a partner, so please refrain from insulting mine. Btw, I have nothing against IR marriages, honestly. And I actually think it very beautiful when I see two Muslims of different backgrounds together. But, I just don't see it for myself and I guess that's my prerogative. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Posted February 7, 2004 Originally posted by Yasmine: ... 'they're too old-fashioned', 'too domineering', 'too lazy around the house', 'too ugly', etc. One particular sista told me she's rather marry an Arab or White convert, saying "think of how beautiful the kids will be i can relate to what ur saying sis...cuz some of my friends fall in to that group....and oh how they wish they can turn back the time...they all married for the above reasons and are all suffering... with myself....i could never imagine being married to a non-somali...simply cuz i refuse to say to him " maxaa masha lataagantaheey.. cunto iso gur nooh"...and have him not understand....and not to mention having to translate 24/7..7 days a week...365 days a year...for the rest of my life...oh god :mad: ..how depressing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted February 7, 2004 dymm pearl don't u make it sound that bad now lol... but i hear yah about the translation 24/7.. but why not get someone that can understand ya? im sure they can both speak english or another language they have in common... it don't have to be i'll speak my lang, u speak urs and lord have mercy lol... To answer the Q.. heck yeah i would marry non-somali... and as much as i hate to admit.. i do say oh "they all ugly", or that i can't stand them, but to be honest with ya i love my ppl and i only say "i hate somalis" when im around them, when im around other folks i show the love i have for my ppl. but u know u can't always be (lovie, lovie) u gotta show lil hate here and there lol... but the reason i would marry non-somali, # 1 so i can have cute kids come on now lol, #2 coz my whole family is mixed or lord knows how many bloods, and #3 i think is alot better to belong no where, and to have open mind about ppl, and the world instead of just viewing the world from one perspective.... that is just my reasons.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- diamond princess - Posted February 7, 2004 I would marry a Somali, although sometimes I repeatedly say "I hate Somalians", there's no other group of people I'd rather be with. It's like the saying goes, "Cant Live With Them, Can't Live Without Them". I wanted to point out those who choose to marry a non-somali because the sake of the children, that's bull crap. Children don't look beautiful just cause they inter-racial, they look good cause of the features/traits passed down by their parents. Example, let's say you marry an arab person. Your child might have nice hair, big eyes, button nose, and fair skin (the child you want). But sometimes the combination doesn't turn out the way you like and you end up with a child with nappy hair, dark skin, big eyes and long-slim nose. Now, I'm not saying somalian's have nappy hair. But I'm just tryna prove a point. Don't say you wanna marry a non-somali because of how the child would look out to be. Cause it's not always 100% the way you want it. .:peace n luv:. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted February 7, 2004 hey, if you ever think that yout kids will look butt ugly, then dont blame the kids aigt! cuz u is XUUX aigt! and u looking for an upgrade. hey dont U know that what your off-springs will look like has nothing to do with what color your partner color is, but rather a combination of both of u what of color your partner might be!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ijabo Posted February 7, 2004 i would NEVER marry a non somali. Even if my life depended on it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted February 7, 2004 Astonishing! What a self-loathing bunch some of us are! are we (the men) so revolting--- so ugly kulahaa! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted February 7, 2004 I am just wondering why only women r blamed when they marry out side the race,and no one blames somali men marry none somali!. My self i am not that panic about somali things, as long he is good and my parents accept him i wouldn't mind. salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted February 7, 2004 Originally posted by - diamond princess -: you end up with a child with nappy hair, dark skin, big eyes and long-slim nose. Now, I'm not saying somalian's have nappy hair. What's wrong with nappy hair and dark skin? I'm sorry, don't want to offend, but that's kind of racist. and Somalis DO have nappy hair! and Dark Skin! Did you think we were caucasian or something? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted February 7, 2004 we are the most racist people on earth, that is because somalinimadii baa naga tan badatay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted February 7, 2004 ^^lool, honeslty most of the people around me family, friends..whoever ! are bluntly racist, i doubt that it comes from negative place but like it was said...we love ourselves too much. I am sure most of u have met that old woman who cant believe u think somalis are africans ! what can be said.... On the topic at hand, would i marry a non somali...personally no, too much would be given up but at the other hand i dont know how things in my life would play out so what honestly matters at the end of the day is the person being a good muslim and his akhlaq. Salamath Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
x_quizit Posted February 7, 2004 OG Girl, good point. I don't think anyone should blame another for their choice of a partner, because at the end of the day, its their life and their choosing. Whether its somali, indian, chinese, ant, etc...I am basing my choice of partner on their deen to begin with, not their nationality. Of course, it would be much easier to marry a somali because they understand your culture but only Allah knows what he has in store for us, so its pointless so say yay or nay.Plus, things that come too easy aren't cherished as much. Many ppl marry another race because what they were looking for they couldnt find within their own and more power to them, as long as they are happy. Back to OG girl's point, seems that some women and men (somali) marry for the wrong reasons outside their race, some of which was previously stated, and its funny how when a man marries a non-somali no fuss is made about it, but when a sista chooses the same, somehow she's looked down upon in a certain way. That's my 2 cents. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
king_450 Posted February 7, 2004 Most of us want a wife or girlfriend to have plenty of time for us. Also,one must pay a very serious consideration about marriage.For instance western girls are too caught up in ideas of women's freedom (in terms of their careers, etc) for the sake of freedom. It isn't very practical though, We all want to be able to start a family someday, and that is hard to do if the mother is very ambitious or has different values from yours(difernt Race)",But if all you want is an offspring of mixed race then that is completely differnt issue,and i do respect your wishes.It is usually easier to deal with your Queens/Kings(somalis), because you all tend to have more in common with each other,and they tend to understand you better ,since you share or atleast understand your basic values.I happen to see most of outside marriages are just failure waiting to happen,believe me you will feel secretely miserable inside ,and probably you might regret it,because one of you will be forced to copromise all the time. It is all about inherent value . Well let me shut up i talk too much. Peace Before gold is turned in the beautiful ornaments that are much loved by many, the metal has to go through tremendous amount of heat. I guess the same is true for us too. After years of broken promises and bruises- may be a person turns to gold. May be the wisest amongst us has the highest number of heartaches. Who knows? By Audrea Aruza Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
