Friends and family remember Shafayet Reja as an affectionate young man who stayed up late to write poetry, danced exuberantly at weddings and explored the faiths of his father and mother with an openheartedness that led him to declare on his Facebook page, “I never get tired of learning the new things that life has to offer.” But within hours of his death on Sept. 10 after a car accident, his memory — in fact, his very body — had become the object of a tug-of-war over religious freedom and obligation. It began when his mother, who was raised Hindu, and his father, who is Muslim, decided to have his body cremated in the Hindu tradition, rather than burying him in a shroud, as Islam prescribes. His parents, Mina and Farhad Reja, say a small group of Muslims who do not understand their approach to religion are trying to intimidate them over the most private of family choices. “This is America,” Mrs. Reja said. “This is a family decision.” The couple say that people accosted them at their son’s funeral, that an angry crowd threatened to boycott a shopping center they own in Jackson Heights, Queens, and that on Sept. 13, two men they know threatened to bomb and burn down the building. The men they accused in a complaint filed with the police — one is a doctor and the father of a close friend of Shafayet Reja, the other a Bangladeshi business leader — say that they made no threats and deny that they have called for a boycott. They say they and others simply expressed their concern about what they see as a deep violation of their religion and of the wishes of the son, who, according to some of his college friends, had recently chosen Islam as his sole religion. The Police Department’s hate crimes unit is investigating whether the threats took place, whether they would constitute aggravated harassment, and whether they qualify as bias crimes, which carry tougher penalties, a spokesman for the department said. No charges have been filed. What is not in doubt is that the episode is a source of consternation, from the Queens neighborhoods where Mr. Reja’s parents live and work to their native Bangladesh, the world’s second most-populous Muslim country, where it has been national news. The dispute has especially swept up several bustling blocks in Jackson Heights, where dozens of businesses are Bengali. It had business owners on edge during the busy shopping season before this week’s Id al-Fitr festival. The festival marks the end of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan and brings throngs of shoppers to dine and to buy jewelry and sparkling traditional dresses. The neighborhood is a place where business rivalries and family arguments often intersect with disputes over Bangladesh politics, especially in the case of Mrs. Reja, a prominent property owner and outspoken advocate of the rights of Bangladesh’s religious minorities. Her 1999 self-published book, “God on Trial,” angered some Muslims in the neighborhood with its critique of Islamic fundamentalism. The cremation dispute goes to the heart of a debate among Muslims in America about what makes someone a Muslim — to some of the critics, the fact that Shafayet Reja listed Islam as his religion on Facebook is enough — and how to reconcile this country’s freedom of religion with what some Muslims see as a communal obligation to uphold religious observance. But to the family, the dispute is a frightening imposition that they say violates their civil rights. “We have freedom of religion, and we have the Constitution,” said the Rejas’ son Mishal, 19, who studies at Washington University in St. Louis. “Why would they bother us? It’s none of their business. Even if he was the most hard-core Muslim.” To some Muslims, the fact that Shafayet Reja prayed and attended mosques trumps his family’s wishes. “It was the community’s business because the community knew he was a Muslim,” said Junnun Choudhury, secretary of the Jamaica Muslim Center, one of several mosques around the city whose worshipers came to the funeral to plead with the family. “It is our job to bury him in the Muslim way.” Neither he nor any other mosque leader has been accused of making threats, and there have been no further protests. Abu Zafar Mahmood, an adviser to the Jackson Heights Bangladeshi Business Association, said he was disturbed by the cremation but was urging people not to confront Mrs. Reja. “It would be harmful,” he said. “We have a multicultural community.” Mrs. Reja said she brought up her children by attending both Hindu temples and Muslim mosques. “Humanism is what I taught my children,” she said. “I want to see my son as a perfect human being, and not as a perfect religious person.” Whether or not her son was beginning to move closer to Islam is another thread in the tangle of hurt feelings and disagreements. Shafayet Reja, 22, graduated from the State University of New York at Stony Brook in 2007. He was living with his parents in Richmond Hill, studying to be a licensed insurance broker. He was also spending a lot of time at the Long Island home of Dr. Khondeker Masud Rahman — who was eventually accused of threatening his parents — and Dr. Rahman’s daughter, Farah, a friend from Stony Brook. Farah Rahman said that he had begun praying more often and talking to Dr. Rahman about Islam, and that he had quarreled with his mother, saying she blamed the religion unfairly for the mistakes of some of its followers. He had even, she said in an interview, mentioned that he wanted a Muslim burial. His family members and childhood friends say he would have wanted his mother to choose. On Sept. 2, Shafayet Reja broke the daily Ramadan fast with friends at Stony Brook’s Muslim Students Association. Afterward, Farah Rahman was in the car behind his when he lost control on a wet road. He was hospitalized, and died on Sept. 10 without regaining consciousness. When word spread that the family would hold both Muslim and Hindu rites for their son and then have him cremated, the Rahmans and others were upset. Father and daughter both asked the family to give him a Muslim burial. They say the conversations were polite; the Rejas say they were hostile. Several dozen people, including the imams of the Jamaica Muslim Center and other mosques, came to the funeral home in Richmond Hill on Sept. 12, to attend the Muslim rite and express objections to the cremation. The Rejas say people crowded around them to press their case as they wept beside their son’s body. “I was having my last moment with my son,” Mrs. Reja said. “What gave them the guts to do that?” The funeral staff called the police in part because the Rejas feared the crowd would try to block the hearse going to the crematorium. Mishal Reja stood in the door of the funeral home, asked the group to leave the family in peace, and promised he would try to get the cremation canceled — just to get them to leave, he said. The crowd dispersed peacefully. Later that day, Dr. Rahman, an anesthesiologist at Elmhurst Hospital Center in Jackson Heights, spoke to a group of people breaking the daily Ramadan fast at a restaurant across the street from the family’s Bangladesh Plaza mall. According to the Rejas, and a report in a local Bengali-language newspaper, he called for a boycott of the mall and for shop owners there to stop paying rent, though he denied that in an interview. Afterward, some of the people from the restaurant gathered outside the mall, waving their sandals in an insulting gesture and threatening to boycott the mall, according to two men who run shops there, who did not want to be quoted by name for fear of damaging business relationships. One said that at least one person in the crowd threatened to burn the building. In the crowd, according to the merchants, was the secretary of the Jackson Heights Bangladeshi Business Association, Zakaria Masud. Mr. Masud, too, denied calling for a boycott, but said that protesting the cremation was “a social obligation and a religious obligation.” The next day, Mina Reja held a press conference at the mall, at which she denounced the critics and asked for privacy. Afterward, according to complaints the Rejas made to the police, Dr. Rahman told Mishal Reja, “We will bomb your building,” and Giash Ahmed, a real estate broker and former Republican candidate for state senator, told Farhad Reja that it would be burned. Dr. Rahman and Mr. Ahmed said in interviews that they never threatened anyone and were not even at the mall that day. Mr. Ahmed said Mrs. Reja’s decision was her business. Dr. Rahman said expressions of anger at Mrs. Reja should wait: “She should have a time of healing.” He accused her of orchestrating the scandal and fabricating the threat. Meanwhile, under the neon signs and rainbow lights of Bangladesh Plaza, shopkeepers worry that a boycott even by part of the community will hurt their holiday business. “Why should they involve people who are not involved? How will we survive?” one of the shop owners said. Another said of the cremation: “It’s a family matter. The parents, they decide.” Source: New York Times

^Typical constructivist

^Only you could change your own stars!!!

^It happen to me few times.Woke in the middle of the night or early in the morning-fully functional and aware of my surroundings but couldn't move a muscle except my eyeballs, scary and interesting but it's not unnatural and it is not something that warrants tahliil.

LooooooooooooL...I don't think that jealous kusband...Looks like people in middle of war really.

Diin halagu saaro oo Tahliil cab. LooooooooooooL

"It's not about blaming the wife. It can't be. I mean, cheating is ridiculous. It's wrong. And you can't justify it," Gary says. "My book is about one thing. It's really about empowering women. If I can give you knowledge that says that I could have proof that if you do certain things, you can lead your relationship to a better place, that will be much better for you as well because it's not just about stopping tragedy. It's about building a much more mutually beneficial relationship." besides sex

I think the woman was solely talking to me. She keep on winking

How rude of me...Congrats Blessed!! LoooooooooooL@Aaliyah..Goodie NGONGE...No old man, but we could be talking about if you want.

Aalyah-LooooooooooooL...I think couple of ppl in here might be 'closely' related or is't coincidence

^LooooooooooooooooooL...Governments and employers need to do something to accomadate women.While back Americans and feminist were worried IV League women who accomplished leave leadership roles to raise kids. These bright women abadon everything but some though say they don't regret. P.S. Nancy Pelosi is prime example someone coming back after raising family but I guess she might be the exception.

^It stinks and my coworker called pirate and terrorist "jokingly". I would have gone primative on his a*ss but........

Cl & Ibti

^Bunch NGONGE

^LoooooooooooooooL...Good on you. I noticed these relationships end divorce unless you are Iman and Bowie, and somehow the girls rediscover Islam and Somalis. Our local Somali Imam waxuu ku qabtey a Somali woman with two children that was 'married' to another John.

I very much doubt that

^LoooooooooooL..nothing is shocking these days.Maybe she would join him in the pub. And it has nothing with modernity just bad judgement and lack of foresight even if one ignores deen.

They sought albino body parts for potions that they claimed could make people rich. Two of the albinos killed in Burundi - a man and a teenage girl - were reportedly found dead with their legs and arms missing. Police said the tip of the girl's tongue was also removed. web page

^Maad iska kay deesid. Ha dhooto daalac ii raacanee mase Sheh iyo Ibti aa la,istusaayaa wali.

We become too dependent on technology

If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself. Ouuuuuch The woman freezes when she's confronted. Keeps on talking without making any sense.

Originally posted by NGONGE: Che, Hungary is a holiday destination now.. So is Nepal. Sheh....I doubt you would be see a Loatian, Bolivian, Gambian, Russian, and Micronesian under the same roof in Czech republic Cultures come to us, we don't look for them. LoooooooL@Cl

^It is not comparable. I doubt you wanna move to Poland or Hungary

^Ouch be nice. LooooooooL@Sheh Cl...I bet,it's

^It's big country from the pacific coast to the carolinas, from Dakotas to Texas and everything in between-all different climates. The choices are endless. So you on the other hand, you gonna go where, move to Scotland or Wales Get well Lily and Val!