Originally posted by juxa: guilty secrets now alot of peaple are confused if there is such thing as online relationships. what is the attraction? and what should you do if you suspect your partner (husbands) is a cyper love rat ? well, the attraction of this sort of relationship is that its safe, because you are in control. its like looking through a one-way mirror. u can pretend to be some1 you are not! ANYONE the other big attraction is that u can keep yr illicit messages hidden from your partner, Easy . now question is? should you keep your online pals secret? hw do u stop online thing cross the boundries? what do u do if u find suspicious text/email? Why would i keep them a secret if there is nothinbg to hide either from them or anybody else? i wouldn't get into another relationship if i am already involved with someone else because if i am not happy with that person why would i cheat especially when nobody forced me to be with that particular person. if i don't like what you are offering me then it is bye bye and see you later but if i am enjoying your company then you deserve to be given everything i got and i would never hold back anything including my heart. i am not here to judge anybody but that was only my point of view.

Putting a smile on my Mother's face will simply make me the proudest man alive.

you lent your car on your niece's greatest day and definitely the happiest day of her life and instead of being happy for her and be proud of the fact that you "Contributed" something to her special day..you are here complaining about a car? i wonder what she would say or her husband would think of you if he read this ! Rafiki yangu you came from Somalia with what? two eggs and probably one got rotten along the way and few old shirts and one dozen of "Who Died" macawis and you came to the west and bought a beaten down car which has no mags,no sound system and instead of feeling happy that Girls with all their Cunsi,new and borowed Diracs chose to get inside "Your" car. My friend you are not a good Seedi and i am not even sure if you will make a good Husband to my sister who you still owe us her dowry.. . Brother man..atleast pretend to be happy for your Niece. Kwaheri

Originally posted by OG_Girl: even my grand dad wasn't born there but is were my roots r ... my great grand dad and up were from there <---wink wink. I heard is nice place tho, I wouldn't mind to visit and drink some Camel milk Salam OG_Girl, come to Garissa with me if you want to drink a camel milk but watch out though as our camels only speak in Swahili;)

Originally posted by raula: 1.Shiirka kulul( :eek: ) eeh kenyatiga ah! -ah! I miss this (now this can be called weird) njo hapa basi kama ume miss jasho wetu ! tena yangu ni kali kama pili pili.

Q, would you be kind enough to share with us the names of all the "Decent" Brothers and Sister who you like to see given a political asylum in this site? i may know few of them and personally i wouldn't mind splashing my credit card out for a good cause because i know they are going to need a food and few Boutros Ghali blankets.

Yeah long live my Motherland GARISSA. i was lucky enough to have gone back home last month and i had a wonderful time. 1-i spent 10 days lying around the beautiful beaches in Province. 2-i went to scuba diving in the river and it was all fun. 3-i saw my old jaluo teacher who had teeth the last time i saw. 4-i had the best mchele kavu you will ever taste in your entire life. 6-i drank pure camel milk which i have to admit started a bloody civil war in my stomach. 7-i had the best ugali in a long long time. 8-i had to get used to Mwai Kibaki as the president and not Moi instead the fried Jogoo. 9-i saw my old chewing comrades and i was delighted to know that they still kept my favorite position warm in the kiosk by putting a barehe kilo. 10-i got to see my Mom the best Mom in the whole world. Oooh God Bless my homeland GARISSA.

Originally posted by Qac Qaac: Good advice. start with yourself. Oye niaje, i think you should let us know what your name is based upon because back in the day when i was still in shule at Garissa Primary school there was this Mkamba teacher and his name was Qac Qaac but in Mkamba language that means.....i can't even say it as it is something very very aheem aheem, you get the point. Tuonana Beste Qac Qaac .

there is a girl that i am madly in love with and when i asked her out last friday night she said she will go out with me only on one condition. she said i should get her Victoria's Secret :confused: ! now forgive me if i may sound a bit fala here but how on earth am i supposed to know Victoria's Secret? do you think it would be a secret any longer if i knew what it was? so ladies since you gossip around a bit more than this Sijui i was wondering if there was any of you who by chance over heard Victoria revealing her secret to one of her girlfriends? Please let me know as soon as possible and save my heart from getting broken like Mzee Kariuki's Mkepe ya Changai. Thank you very much.

My Sister Hibo Nuro, Maybe you went to the wrong Sokoni where they sell old and spoiled Viazi which is grown only in Mzee Mwangi's shamba,you should come to Kariobangi where they sell the best and the fresh looking Viazi in the entire Mathare Neigborhood even far better than those in Kibera.

telling a girl "I LOVE YOU" is my favorite pick up line and so far it has never failed me. so why should i change a winning formula? Cute-LilGirl..i think mimi nakupenda wewe so una semaje?

Several men are sitting around in the locker room of a golf club after a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole, Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: (H = Husband, W = Wife) H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" H - "Yes." W - "Great! I'm at the mall two blocks from where you are and I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" H -"What's the price?" W - "Well, $1,000." H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." W -"Thank you, honey. There's something else. I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW we bought last year I thought ......" H - "What price did he quote you?" W - "$60,000..." H - "OK, but for that price I want all the options." W - "Great! But before we hang up, there's one more thing." H - "What's that?" W - "I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year has been reduced. You remember the one with the pool, English Garden, up against the park area and on the water with a dock...." H - "How much are they asking?" W - "$450,000, but it's a steal for that price and we have that much in the bank to cover..." H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but try to talk them down to $420,000. OK?" W - "OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" H - "Bye ... I love you too!" The man hangs up and closes the phone's flap. As the other men look at him in astonishment and derision, the husband raises the phone and asks, "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

oops sorry guys wrong place to reply my posting.

Ningependa kutuma salamu kwa baba na mama, wagiwa huko gagamega, bibi yangu Toris Angote na watoto wagiwa Chavakali, pia ndugu wangu Zephenia akiwa gagamega shopping center, siwezi kusahau sangazi Rebecca akiwa mashambani hugo Marigat, ningependa kuwaambieni show ya Nakuru imepamba moto, na watumie battry za Eveready paka power premium, kwa kuwa ni battry zenye nguvu, tena wasisahau kuandaa joggo kwa krismasi ijayo , ya mwisho ningependa kusema, wasisahau salamu ndio nuzu ya kuonana. Nafuka Ingho hivi karibuni !

Did i read somewhere here that B-days are haram? anyway sis have a nice life & may you have a blessing future.

-Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! -You make my software turn to hardware! -Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you! -Hey baby I want to take you to Hawaii. To the island of "comona, wanna, lay ya!

1 - My pal was vibing the automated telephone banking system voice thing, it took a while for him to realize that this thing can't respond 2. Tell me if it's me alone, but does anyone keep on pushing doors that say PULL and pulling doors that clearly say PUSH!! 3. Two ladies i knew both had their clothes stuck in the subway door as they were trying to make it before the doors closed, lol guys ! 4. For those who take public transport, can someone tell me why people stare at you when u entered the bus or the train as if u've done something bad to them? 5. I witnessed this one on a bus, this fellow was flossing(talking) on his cell phone, he was so loud it was like he was talking to the whole bus, then get this with the phone next to his ear in the middle of his supposed conversation.....it RANG !!!!! i was left wondering so the brother was faking all along eh ?(talk of guys faking...lol) 6. This one is really nice - thinking the cell isn't working because there isn't any dial tone, it's engaged....the situation is that there's a message waiting! Guys talking of being in Americas & Europe first time what have you fellows SOL's encountered or seen? i have to think of more as i remember but just wondering if any one has witnessed such .....please share !

Raula this is for you sis..... When kisum bekem a siti I want to resait a poem... plis read it in luo akssent... When Kisum bekem a siti, lek victoria bekem an osen When Kisum bekem a siti, all the mbuta in the lek bekem whales When Kisum bekem a siti, all fising boats bekem sips When Kisum bekem a siti, all omena bekem saks When Kisum bekem a siti, all fisamen became sip captains APENJI !! that is wot we call development, yawa! need translations? i dont think so... enjoy

www.nomasana.com a cool link for jokes-music

shujui 5 hapana mbaya kaka :cool: All six? ms london congrats sis,you are the first genius slow reader i've known(no pun intended)

there is a friend of mine who calls me sujwe kwahivyo ziko mob jo! sijuu-sujuu-sujwe-sajuwi...loooool to name them but a few.

A Kamba, Muoki, and a friend, Pakoris, went to South B. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Pakoris somehow managed to find a seat downstairs, but unfortunately Muoki got pushed to the top. After a while, when the rush was over, Pakoris went upstairs to see his friend Muoki. He met Muoki in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands and saying his prayers, scared to death. He asks,"Oi Mkamba! What the heck's goin'on? Why are you so scared?... I was really enjoying my ride down there?" Muoki mumbles, "Aiee unayua wee ikona ndereba(you know u guys have a driver." Having lost his donkey a Kamba, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; why are you thanking God?" The Kamba replied "I am thanking him for that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Ati so be nquieeet mwah!"loooool jamal walahi makao ni watu innocent sana sikiza this one..... Recently this Kamba man won the 1 million special lottery for Ksh 10. As soon as the office of the Lottery Corporation was open on the following day, he was there to collect his winnings. Graciously, he presented his winning ticket to the clerk and in his best swa uttered his request, "Nimekuya kupokea shilingi miliona moya, tikiti ndio ii".(i came to collect my 1 million here is the ticket) After reviewing and checking the ticket with his manager, the clerk returned and requested on how he would like his payments. The Kamba replied, "nataka yote sasa".(i want it all now) "Unfortunately, Sir" the nervous clerk responded "The procedures are that we can only give you one hundred thousand now and the balance equally over the next 10 years". Furious and agitated, the Kamba asked for the manager, who re-iterated, "Sir, my assistant is correct, it is the regulation of the Corporation that we initially pay you one hundred thousand shillings now with the balance paid to you equally over the next 10 years". Outraged, the Kamba slammed his hand on the desk and shouted in anger, "munafikilia mimi muyinga, eeeh?? Nipe milioni yangu sasa ama munilundishie kumi yangu".(u think am ****** eeeh? pay me my million now or refund me my ksh10)

Nothing against kamba's A Kamba goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos." The Kamba then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The Kamba says, "I'll take one!" The next day, he walks into the office with his new thermos. His boss asks, "Wow, you have a Thermos! What do you have in it?" The Kamba replies, "Two cups of coffee and a Coke." ------------------------------------------------ A Kamba went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell it to Kambas," he replied. The Kamba hurried home removed his beard and changed his hair style, then came back and again told the salesman. "I would liketo buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Kambas," Salesman replied. "Damn, he still can recognize me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Kambas," he replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Kamba?" "Because that's a microwave," the salesman replied. NB:kambas are a tribe living in eastern kenya.

Ki-ngoso(ENG)is cool,can read somali but typing takes ages with me.