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Everything posted by IL CAPO

  1. Everything is slowly falling into a place as I begin to feel worthy of my occupied space a more pious state,more at peace with my fate grace seems attainable at this rate I'm on pace to erase my spirit of past disgrace and embrace my renewed faith in the only one who saves He lives in his blessed light,he gives me sight He gets rid of all the unpleasant visions of past and guides me to a clearer and the right path free of wrath and tempting crimes at last, I can surpass these walls that I could never before climb but only fall I'd lay on my back and stare at the sky and sigh Ignorant of the divine design of Allah I'd say to myself, ooh and waaw, to arrive on the reverse side and resume my stride. It was my pride blinding my eyes from seeing the solution of receiving absolution from social illusion, and by the Devil to keep the people in evil and under oppression the reason for depression that mass sections of my Muslim and Somali people Are held from the lord's affection.. Instead, they are following the directions of aggression and erections A successful & successive selective suppression leading the healthy minds to a moral discretion but I have been liberated the future's bright because of the Lord's light I shall escape the eternal night. All Praise Be To Almighty Allah (S.W). Peace.
  2. Ms Word, Bravo Bravo Bravo, Respect. Peace.
  3. "Hey, easy on my ears man" says one girl. "Excuse me?" I say. "Lower your voice man, why are you screaming" she asks angrily. "What is your problem Miss Thang?" I ask. "You are my problem, making my ears hurt with your loud screams" she says. Now this girl is losing her temper and I am almost close to bursting into laughter because this girl is wearing golden Jewellery from head to toe and I have never seen anybody wearing that much gold. "Ok, my sister, I apologise, by the way I am IL CAPO" I say. "Oooh, Sorry, I am Golden-Girl" she says. "A name has never been more appropriate to any one before, she is living it up to her name"I say to myself. "So how are you doing?" I ask. "Before you frightened me with your loud screams I was having a great time" she says. "Oh, I am sorry, I didn't mean to, you know I am feeling bit drained and exhausted so I need a cup of tea to calm my nerves down" I say. "Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" she laughs. "Did I say something wrong" I ask. "No No No, it is just that you reminded me of my Awoowe, he loves his tea and it is just that I have never seen a young man addicted to tea as much as you are" she says. "Oh, Ok, I can't imagine being without a tea" I tell her. "Ok, good luck then" she says. I move on with my Qeylada but this time I am careful and I don't scream as much as I did before, so I come across another girl who is showing another girls how to move to beat that was playing in the back ground and ask them... "Excuse me ladies, sorry to bother you, but have you seen Wiilo please"? I ask. "Who wants to know" asks the ceographer. "IL CAPO" I say. "Waryaa, IL CAPO, how are you Marax?" she yells. "As you can see I am in one piece" I tell her. "Waryaa, I am Foxy, remember?" she says with big grin on her face. "Foxy Brown, the Rapper?" I ask. "No No, Marax, I am Dawoco" she says. "Oooh, Sorry, how are you doing Ms Foxy?" I ask. "As you can see I am blazing" she replies. "Blazing, what?" I ask. "No No, it means, I am fine" she says. "Oh, Ok," I says with a nod. "So how are you doing and how is everything back home?" she asks. "Oh, everything is Grand, thanks for asking" I reply. "Come let me introduce you to my Homegirls" she says. "IL CAPO, meet Hasna and Chocolaat" says Ms Foxy. "Salam, ladies, how are you doing" I say. "Great, how are you doing" they ask. "Apart from being in desperate need for my cup of Warikow tea, I am doing fine" I tell them. "Why don't you have a Chocolate milk rather than a tea" asks Chocolaat. "I don't drink milk as I am not a baby and me and Chocolates don't mix" I say. "How about a glass of cold juice then?" suggests Hasna. "I had enough of that, I need a tea now, but thanks anyway" I say. "Ok, IL CAPO, it was nice to meet you, Wiilo is in that room" says Ms Foxy. "Nice to meet you too Ladies" I say and with that I move on. Just as I turn around and start walking away I hear them giggling and chuckling, now being the self conscious man that I am, slowly I lower my left hand to my rear end and feel at the back of my pants just to feel if there is a hole in my pants or I accidentally sat on something unpleasant and when I make sure that my pants are still in good shape and there is no crack or holes at the back or any dirt then I relax and pretend like some one who is brushing some dirt off from his pants and I continue to walk away feeling much better and start to whistle my way out of their view. "Look where you going Man" she says. "Oh, Sorry Abaayo" I plead. "Yeah, whatever, just remember I know about that trick" she says. "What trick are you talking about?" I ask. "Never mind, but that is not the way to hit on a girl" she says. "Excuse me, I never hit girls and I don't think I had any intention to hit you my Sister, Come On, why would I want to hit you?" I say innocently. "Yeah, whatever, but I don't buy it" she says. "Come On, believe me, I have never ever fought with a girl in my entire life and I have no intention whatsoever to start now, the only time I get physical with a girl is when I am playing hide and seek with my Malaika wife" I tell her. "You are a one big country" she says. "No No, I am a human, how can I ever be a country?" I ask. "Waryaa, I meant you are Reer Baadiye" she says. "I am from a city called Garissa, which has the best climate in the whole world, some of the best beaches in the world and a river where I go for a canoeing every weekend" I boast. "Man, don't tell me you are IL CAPO" she says. "Ok, I wont tell you then" I say. "No No, I mean are you IL CAPO?" she ask. "Yeah, how did you know that?" I ask. "Man, you are the only person in the whole world that forces people to acknowledge the beauty of his city even when they don't know where on earth it is located, by the way I am Diamante" she says. "Oh, sorry to say this but I swear I thought you were a Senegalese because the only few Diamantes that I have met were all from Senegal" I say. "As you can see I am as Somali as they get and Diamante is just a nick" she says. "Ok, now I know."I assure her. Peace.
  4. The party is at full swing now and everybody is having a great time except one guy who was sitting all by himself and he seemed to be sulking more than anything else, now, being the friendly guy that I am I have decided to go and talk to that brother and find out what was his problem and maybe do something to make him smile or feel good. "Salam Alaikom" I say to him. "W/Salam" he replies quietly. "I am IL CAPO" I say "Hey, IL CAPO, I am Tahliil" he replies. "Hey, nice to meet you Sxb" I say. "Yeah, me too Sxb, so when did you come here and how did you get here?" he asks. "I walked from Garissa all the way to here and I left home early last year and I got here just few hours ago" I tell him. "Oh, Really? Man, you are one brave guy, so did you see any lions, elephants and rhinos along the way"he asks with a big grin. "My Man, Sorry, look there is no one on earth who can walk from Africa to over here, I thought you knew that" I tell him feeling guilty that I lied to him in the first place. "Oh, Ok, I didn't know that, but thanks for telling me that Sxb, i appreciate it" he says. "Sxb, why are you sitting alone, what's the matter and why are you grieving"? I ask. "Sxb, I am not grieving per say but I don't feel like mixing with the rest of the people as I am enjoying this quite and private moment with myself" he says,"but don't get me wrong, I am enjoying your company" he continues. "That is great then." I say. "So tell me, are you having a great time" he asks. "Yeah, I am, in fact who wouldn't? With all these drop dead gorgeous girls around with loads of opportunities to interact any one or a couple that you Fancy, Man, let me tell you this is exactly what every red blooded male considers HEAVEN Sxb" I say with excitement. "Well, I am not here for girls Sxb, don't get me wrong I like girls but I am scared to get close to them since my heart has been battered and bruised and finally broken and shattered into a million pieces like a broken glass by the only girl that I have ever loved truly" he says. "Oh, that is so Sad Sxb" I say with genuine sympathy. "Well, I guess it was meant to be that way" he says. "Sxb, I admire the way you are being philosophical about it but let me tell you one thing, no one deserves to be played and broken and I promise you she will pay for it as what goes around comes around, so she will fall into another guy's trap and he will play her like she was PS2, that much I can guarantee you" isay firmly. "I appreciate your support Sxb" he says. "I guess, you would have done the same thing for me had I been in your position, right?" I ask. "Yeah, no doubt, but you know what hurts me most?" he asks. "Please, tell me" I say. "Love has never been sweet and kind, it destroyed my soul and raped my mind, I believed in a dream that I couldn't find, sorrow and misery is all that I have time for, all I ever wanted was for her to be mine, keep her wearing that pretty smile and make all her dreams come true, I would give up my own life for her, only if I could make her believe me, what can I possibly say or do to make her realize that I LOVE HER more than any other man dead or alive can and will ever love her" he says with tears rolling down on his cheeks. "Waaw, Sxb that was the most honest and painful words I have ever heard, and I wish there were something that I could do to help ease your sorrow and pain"I say feeling sad. "I mean, can you believe her? She dumped me just because I am too sweet" can you really believe that?" he asks angrily. "That is ridiculous Sxb, most girls I know would kill to be in her position where they enjoy the unconditional love that you are offering" I say. "She promised and even swore in the name of Allah (S.W) that she will never hurt me yet she walked out on me and today she is with another dumb mother sucker" he says. "Like, I said Sxb, she is going to regret it for the rest of her life as she will never ever find a man who will love her as much as you do and I am sure you will find a pious Sister who will turn your sorrow and frown into a Smile and laughter" I say. "Thanks Sxb, Sorry, I didn't mean to get carried away like that, I shouldn't discourage you from love like that" he says. "No No, it is Ok Sxb, I don't know what the future has in store for me but in the mean time let me enjoy being in love while I still can and I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you will find the right sister" I say and with that I give him pat on the back and say my Salams and move on feeling drained. "I need a Warikow tea" i say to myself. "Where is Wiilo, she is the only one who can make a Warikow tea for both of us" "Wiilo, Wiilo, Wiilo" i scream and i can see some of the girls are staring at me up and down like if they were saying "Who is this Reer Baadiye screaming and making all this noise, how did he get past the security and who the hell invited him in anway" Peace.
  5. Originally posted by NGONGE: I agree on the Ronaldinho point. However, regarding Salgado, he gets mocked all the time, saaxib. By players inferior to Ronaldinho! Roberto Carlos is another. Real has never been a team with a strong defence. [/QB] Ngonge, Sxb I understand your point, but come on have you ever seen a player taking the Mickey out of Salgado at will? The only player that comes close which I can think of right now is Valencia and Spanish left winger Vicente and he gets past him using his pace and you know Salgado isn't blessed with pace but the Goofy Genius used art, skill and loads of imagination and tricks to get past him. Real's problem isn't solely about their defense or lack of it rather, I think the team lacks spirit, hunger and determination and in football you lack those three and you will be eaten alive. if I may add one more, the team is crying for a balance, because look at the midfield, are Guti and Beckham really defensive midfielders? Is Carlos a really a defender? Is Helguerra a defender? Is Zidane a left sided midfielder? The AC Milan of mid and late nineties come to mind when they had the likes of Baggio, Boban,Scevicevic,Vieria,Davids,Kluivert,Dugarry and so many other world stars and yet they never won anything while Rijkaard's current Barcelona side is a team fairly balanced and every player seems to be playing in his favorite position, believe me I will be really surprised if they fail to win at least La Liga this season. Peace.
  6. I make my way out of the card players' room as the noise was too much for me and as I turn left I see a young lady standing at the corner holding a glass of juice without ever taking a sip and I wonder and ask my self what could have happened to her that could possibly make her think about and perhaps even fantasise about a place that seemed a millions of miles away from here. i think about going over and introducing myself then i decide against it as it didn't seem the right moment for me to invade and disturb her quite and private moments so i have decided to wait for the right moment to arrive but still that didn't prevent me from sneaking up onto her and get as close as i could really get. As I stand only a few feet away from her and wait for the right moment to introduce myself, suddenly some one pushes me from behind towards her direction and says.. "Oh, that is my friend Sue, come on, I will introduce you to her" I turn to see who this person with the familiar voice is and guess what? it is OG_Girl. "IL CAPO, this is Sue, don't worry she is a whole lot nicer and sweeter than meets the eye and believe me when I tell you, she is one of the most misunderstood characters in the entire SOL" says OG-Girl. "Hi, Sue, how are you doing" I say to her with a smile. "Hi, IL CAPO, I am doing great and don't listen to this Girl as she talks too much" she says smiling back. "I don't talk too much but I can't keep a secret so I am sorry if I gave away your secret" jokes OG_Girl. "So, Sue, how far did you go" I ask. "I beg your pardon" says Sue. "I mean, I was watching you and you seemed miles away from here so I was wondering, how far could she go and if your thoughts would take you all the way to Garissa"I say. She laughs and says "Oh, I thought you were talking about something else, i am sorry, well, I was thinking about school and stuff,nothing else really" she said. "For once I thought, they asked you to solve the problem in the whole world including the one in Somalia and Iraq, because only that could perhaps make some one think really hard" I say. "No No, thank heavens for that," she says laughing again. "Then stop torturing your mind and remember nothing is too important to make you worry that much because what is life but series of opportunities disguised as difficulties" I say. "Yeah, I guess you are right"she says. "Now, stop exaggerating and tell us what do you think of Sue now and what you thought of her then" asks OG_Girl. "Personally speaking, I never thought of her in any particular way as I never had a chance to interact with her and perhaps got to know her, i am sure if you asked her what she thought of me then she might have given you an answer which is far different than the one she will give you now after I leave, after all I know you girls gossip too much" I say with a broad smile. "No, No, don't worry we wont say a bad thing about you" promises Sue. "And by the way don't believe everything OG_Girl tells you about me because she hates me with passion, see this black eye (pointing to his left eye) what do you think happened to it? It is her who punched me and yet she has the nerve to say that she will tell my Dad how bad I have been to her so that he would beat me up in front of her, can you believe her?" I say. "Don't worry, I will talk her out if it, I give you my word on that" says Sue. "Can I trust you Sue" I ask. "No problem IL CAPO" she replies. "Ok then, by the way, I tell you a secret, when I first heard your name was sue, I was scared to even talk to you because I thought you would sue me just as your name suggested and knowing how broke I am, I couldn't even handle the thought of going to jail and I know this hasid girl (pointing at OG_Girl) wouldn't even come and visit me let alone pay my bail money"I say feeling embarrassed :confused: . "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" Sue and OG_Girl laughing their brains out. "No, No,you are alright IL CAPO, you have never done anything wrong to deserve a law suit" jokes Sue. "But I wouldn't mind seeing you getting whipped by Adeero, because I enjoy seeing you cry in front of everybody like a baby not feeling shame" says OG_Girl. "War Kir" i reply feeling bit angry. "Ok, now get lost, leave us alone as we have so much to talk about" says OG_Girl. "No, No, nyaa, let him stay" pleads Sue feeling bit embarrassed by OG_Girl's harsh treatment on yours truly . "No, let him go and play with the other kids and remember if they hit you, hit them back hard, Ok?" says OG_Girl firmly. "Ok, Sue, it was nice to meet you and i hope from now on we will be friends" i say. "No, Problem IL CAPO, nice to meet you too and take care" she says. P.S before i even leave the room, the begin to gossip and Sue, (yes, who gave me her words) joins in and i leave them making funny faces and few gestures. . Peace.
  7. I went to Domino players' room just like I promised to my Pal Qac to see how things were there. As I take my seat alongside the guys, one dude comes up to me and yells.. "Hey IL CAPO, how are you Mzee?" and after that he puts his hand on my shoulder, not knowing what to make of the situation, I remove his hand from my shoulder and say to him.. "Yeah, I am alright, who are you?" I ask. "I am Jumatatu" he replies. "I am Jumapili" I say. "Then why is your name IL CAPO"he asks. "Are you Monday?" I ask. "No,I am Jumatatu" he replies. :rolleyes: Seeing that me and this guy will never understand each other, I tell him, "Nice to meet you" and then I try to move away from his spotlight but he follows me and asks.. "Do you have a lighter" feeling bit irritated I reply "No, and I don't smoke" "but, you are Sijui and most Sijuis smoke not only Sportsman cigarette but Ganja too so I thought maybe you smoked and chewed too"he says. "Look mate, I know I said I chew but I never said I smoke and if you believe everything you read then I am sorry to inform you that reading isn't for you, besides what do you know about Sijui people, just because you were in Utange doesn't mean you know all of us,it is not right for me to say i know all the Somalis from Somalia are like you who is filled with deep hatred towards the other Somalis" just before i finish it HornAfrique steps on the scene and says to me.. "Hey IL CAPO, don't waste your time with this guy because if i were him i would be proud of what and who i am which is Somali, so what is with this Tanzanian flag that you keep on carrying around mate" he asks. "i don't hate somalis but i love Tanzania even more and sometimes i wish i was born there" replies Monday. "You seem like a decent chap and i think you should act like one" i tell him. "you are right IL CAPO, now enough with that do you feel like going to the bathroom and light a joint" he asks. "What joint" i ask feeling confused. "This guy completely lost it IL CAPO" says HornAfrique. "You know, i am sure you two will feel a whole lot better" he suggests. "listen Mr Monday,Sunday or whatever you call yourself, i have to go, it was nice talking to you" i say. "What do you think about Somalia and Somali politics? he asks me. "Monday, don't you have anything else to talk about? I mean you always criticise and say negative things about Somalia, you should be patriotic mate and start waving Somali flag rather than TZ flag, i was born and raised in Kenya but you will never ever see me praising Kenya and at the same time putting down my own Somalia because God knows howmuch I LOVE somalia and my somali people." i say. "You know, IL CAPO, you are only wasting your time if you try to educate this poor and sad soul" says HornAfrique. "We shouldn't give up on him because he needs our help and i think we should do anything we can for him, don't you think so?" i ask HornAfrique. "I understand IL CAPO, but i am afraid you are only wasting your time with him" replies HornAfrique. "Ok, guys it was nice talking to you, i have to go and say Salam to others, by the way Mr Monday, Stay Somali" i left. Peace.
  8. Somali Kids, this is for you and remember that IL CAPO cares.One Love. My poor Somali children child of God one and the same are you the forgotten children of some forgotten people? a generation lost, faded out of sight. how did this happen and why in this moment of time? Where Is Hope? little dark child with haunting eyes causing my heart to ache. you have no hope, only fear. are you waiting for someone to hold you in their arms and gently dry your eyes, fill your little belly? the child from Horn of Africa, the slave of almighty God i look at you,without really seeing you still, you are there in front of me, crying out for your Mommy. Dear GOD Where are you? Across the oceans, to this dry land guided by their unseen pain I reach out to you but you are running, reaching out to me,our fingers touch you smile at me, my heart is broken in this moment of time... does anyone care? anyone out there? there is no food for trade there is no grain for sale there is nothing to give back they have nothing at all. forgotten children of some forgotten people a generation lost... faded out of sight how did this happen? If I had tears left in my eyes I would have shed them for you and not for heaven or hell not even for my battered soul Somali child,be strong for your own kind remain alive and well in due time use your imagination and mind for you are our shining super star. Peace.
  9. Chicago - Too little sleep could well make you fat while at least seven hours of sleep is good for a slim figure, according to a study conducted by diabetes expert Eve van Cauter of the University of Chicago. The results of the study, published in the latest edition of the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, show that chronic lack of sleep has a negative effect on the hormone leptin that steers hunger and appetite. Leptin, that is responsible for building fat cells in the body, signals the brain that it needs more energy or that the appetite has been stilled. If someone has too little sleep the leptin level sinks telling the body that it is hungry, although the body still has enough available energy. The person then eats extra calories causing the body to take on weight, the study found. Leptin levels of persons with less than seven hours of sleep were 19 to 26% lower than those of persons with normal sleep. Some of the men who took part in the experiment ate 1 000 calories more per day as in the week with normal sleep. "When we have too little sleep we tend to eat more than we need," Eve van Cauter sums up her study. Other leptin researchers argue that sleep is not the only factor responsible for leptin levels but Cauter contends that the study shows that somebody with a reduced calorie diet will have difficulty reducing weight if he does not sleep enough. P.S Now you can understand why most Somalis are Skinny because of their lack of sleep. Peace.
  10. London - Is it all just a dream? Speculation that reality is nothing but an illusion, or simulation, or controlled environment, has been with us for thousands of years, most recently doled out as pop culture brain candy with the likes of the US film The Matrix. But now two respected British scientists, physicist Martin Rees and mathematician John Barrow, are questioning whether all matter and mind we know is not the creation of some mega-supercomputer somewhere. "A few decades ago, computers were only able to simulate very simple patterns. They can now create virtual worlds with a lot of detail," Rees said. "In the future, we could imagine computers able to simulate worlds perhaps even as complicated as the one we think we're living in." Martin, an astronomer at the prestigious Cambridge University, dares a thought that could have been deemed far-fetched among serious scientists only a while back: "The question is : Could we be in such a simulation?" In this case, the universe would not be all-encompassing but only part of an ensemble Rees and Barrow call the "multiverse". "Science fiction" Barrow, who also teaches at Cambridge, described in an academic article that it was long known that a civilisation slightly more advanced than our own could simulate "universes in which self-conscious entities can emerge and communicate with one another". In a much more computer-savvy society with vastly more advanced technology, "instead of merely simulating their weather or the formation of galaxies, like we do, they would be able to go further and watch the appearance of stars and planetary systems," he added. "Then, having coupled the rules of biochemistry into their astronomical simulations, they would be able to watch the evolution of life and consciousness." With the same ease that we humans watch the "life cycle of fruit flies", Barrow said, the machine masters of the universe could "watch the civilisations grow and communicate with each other, argue about whether there existed a Great Programmer in the Sky who could intervene at will in defiance of the laws of Nature they habitually observed". The theory of the Cambridge pair of scientists has not met with widespread approval among peers, however. Seth Lloyd, professor of quantum mechanical engineering at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), pointed out such a simulation would require an "unimaginably large" computer. Lloyd, in comments published last week, gave a jab to the duo, comparing them to a science fiction book with a cult following - Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which stars a supercomputer named Deep Thought. P.S The Hitchhiker's Guide is a great book but it remains fiction. Peace.
  11. Muran and Debate are entirely different Sxb! Muran is Argument and we can argue on anything, but we can't debate on anything and everything as one of us will produce facts rather than fiction, but to win an argument all you need is skills to survive. Peace.
  12. If you ever thought that Ronaldinho was over rated then I think now you know why he is head and shoulders above any other player in the world right now as he is without a single shadow of a doubt the best player in the world right now. When was the last time you saw Salgado being mocked and not only once or twice but through out the whole 90 minutes by one single player? Ronaldinho just did that with ease and in that match he demonstrated why he is the best player in the world and if he doesn't win Fifa World Player of The Year come December then to hell with Fifa. Peace.
  13. Originally posted by nafta: you hooking up everyone else yaah!...don't forget about yourself at the end mate...[/QB] I am only trying to make your dreams come true, well my friend Qac's dream i should say. Don't worry about me, i am already taken by a Malaika :cool: ,,Ssssshhhhh don't say that out loud. Peace. P.S I admire the mature way you handled all this,some people would have hit the roof, but you didn't so... I SALUTE YOU. Peace.
  14. As I am busy motivating my good old buddy Qac Qaac, suddenly we hear a loud noise coming from outside and everybody runs to the window to see who is this crazy soul disturbing the peace and as me and Qac turn to see who this dude is, he says.... "Darn, not him again" "What are you talking about" I ask Qac. "It is that guy again" he says. "What guy, could you be more specific on this one, buddy?" I insist. "That dude with the loud speaker is Tora Bora and now all the girls in here are going to leave including my beloved Nafta so we have to prevent that from happening IL CAPO" cries Qac. "Who the hell is Tora Bora? is he an Afghan? i ask. "No, No,his name is Caveman, but the guy sounds like an 80 year old, some one from the past so i heard girls call him Tora Bora" explains Qaac. "Well, we can do this in civil way or like mob style" I say. "What do you mean by mob style†asks Qac. "Well, get over there and turn him up side down, meaning beat his Afghan rear end beyond recognition" I encourage. "No, I can't beat him, he is and old guy with 14 pairs of twins and I heard his wife left him so now he is raising money to go back to Somalia to get married to an innocent girl whom he wants to baby sit all his 28 kids" replies Qac. "Well, then there is always ORGILAQE who with the right price is willing to swallow everybody" I remind Qac. "Yeah, that is a brilliant idea, let's go and talk to ORGILAQE"....... and with that we begin to move. "Oooh,waryaa hai dilin, don't hit me, come on not infront of the girls, waryaa hai ceebeen nin rag lama ceebeyee belaayo kugu dhici weydaye"! is what we hear some one say from an empty room and as we check we see ORGILAQE holding Baashi by the neck and has his hand in his pockets, now since I have seen people being bullied for all my life I could only imagine how painful that must have felt for brother Baashi, well there are rules which is "Never To Interfere With Nature" so me and Qac we stand back and watch ORGILAQE handle his business and we tell him "When you finish dry cleaning Baashi, we want to see you". "So you want me to take care of Caveman aka Tora Bora?" asks O/Laqe. "That's what we said, didn't we?" I say. "Believe it or now, I have always wanted to swallow that guy alive because I just can't stand him" replies O/Laqe. "Well,Good. now is your time to shine" says Qac to O/Laqe. "Remember, make it clean and quick" I say. "Well, you know how I get down IL CAPO and Qac, consider it done pals" replies O/Laqe. We go back to lounge and watch some hoop on Tv (The brawl between Pistons and Pacers is at full flow now)when a guy comes and falls in front of us and starts weeping... "Guys, please, you have seen how I was being humiliated in front of my woman and I handled that as a man but on this one I need your help as I can't deal with it at all by my own" says the guy and after looking at his face we realize it is Baashi again. "What is the matter Bashka?" asks Qaac. "I want to watch Simpsons but Nuune is refusing and he says it is time for BBC" cries Baashi. "Who is Simpsons" I ask Qac. "Qac laughing hard replies "it is a cartoon character that comes on every evening at these times" "Man, are you crying because you want to watch a cartoon" I ask angrily. "yes, because I heard people say it is very educational" he replies. "Man, you should watch History channel if you want to watch something educational or late night programs, if you know what I mean" I advice him. "No, IL CAPO, I don't know what you mean"... "Then go home and get into bed my friend" i reply. P.S No Hard Feelings Guys But You Can Always Sue Me When I Finally Hit The Big Time and Claim Millions Of Dollars As Damages." . Peace.
  15. Originally posted by ORGILAQE: ILCAPO that was one heck of a story bro loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool! By the way if this story made any of the others laugh half as hard as I did then you should bottle it and SELL it 'cos you'll make serious money on it men.I suggest you try a few publishers bro you GOT the talent.This is a national treasure.More please......moooooooore...mooooooooooooooooooooore! Sxb, if you are willing to foot the bills then I am willing to sit down with you and talk, however I am expensive,mind you as I am a Chief so if you think you can afford me then meet me at the party in the next chapter and let's discuss business. Peace.
  16. "Waryaa IL CAPO" some one calls out, I turn around and it is Qac Qaac. "Hey, Qac, are you enjoying yourself?" I ask. "Man, I wish.. but how can I enjoy myself when even Jamaal11 now tells me that I have to watch how many glasses of juice I drink and how many piece of cake I eat as I am not the only guest here" mourns Qac Qaac. "Oh, that is very rude of him, don't worry about it, i will go and talk to him" I tell him. "Man, I am thinking about going home because I don't want to remain here anymore where I am not wanted" says Qac Qaac. "Ooh, come on man, don't be so sensitive, cheer up, I know a person who is dying to meet you" I say with a cheeky smile. "Who is that?" asks Qac Qaac. "A Lady, wants to meet you" I tell him. "Come On, stop building my hopes up bro just for a girl to shatter them" pleads Qac Qaac. "No, No, you know I would never ever do that to you, come on" I say. "Then tell me who is the girl" says Qac Qaac impatiently. "There she is, (pointing my finger at her)" I reply. "Allah, get out of here, her?" asks Qac Qaac excitingly. "No, I can't get out of here as I am not ready to leave yet" I reply "No, I meant, you are joking as there is no way that girl wants to meet me."answers Qaac. "Believe me she does,mate" I tell him. "IL CAPO, do you really want to tell me that Nafta wants to meet me" asks Qaac. "Of course she does, my brother where have you been to, come on, hold your head high as ladies adore a man who oozes confidence Bro" I advice. "You don't understand Sxb" says Qaac. "I don't have to understand anything Bro, just go up to her and say Hi" I encourage Qaac. "No, No, you don't understand, because I am very shy guy when it comes to Girls, I can't find the courage to stand in front of a girl and talk to her" says Qaac. "If you can't stand in front of her then stand behind her but you have got to talk to her man" I reply. "What am I going to say to her" asks Qaac. "Just say anything man" I tell him. "The last time I met a girl that I like in a Wedding party, I went over to her and said, "Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? and this girl got mad and hit me right across the face and said "the drinks are free waryaa and if you want to hit on me you have got to raise the par as I don't fall for your cheap and lame lines and from that day on I never spoke to any girl." Says Qaac. "kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, (I can't help laughing with his game)..anyway Bro Qaac, don't be disheartened by the fact that she missed a big opportunity to meet a great guy and if she knew the kind of man that you are I am sure she would have been on you in a second so don't sweat, just erase that bad experience from your memory and start fresh, Ok?by the way she was right you know?" "Who was right?" asks Qaac. "That girl, how on earth could you ask her, can I buy you a drink, when you know all the drinks are free, man, what were you thinking?" "I saw a movie where the actor says the same thing to the actress and she replies with a big smile..Yes Please" so i was hoping for the same kind of answer from this girl" answers Qaac with a lot of enthusiasm. "Well, obviously this isn't a movie so don't ever say something like that to anybody even to a street cleaner, Ok," i say to Qaac. P.S Brother Qac Qaac, you know i got nothing but LOVE for you and to prove it, you will come with me to Garissa at the end of the party and stay with me for a month. . Peace.
  17. Originally posted by OG_Girl: lol@black jalbab... who told you we wear black bal. Salam i came all the way from Africa just to see you and you smack me? and thanks for refusing to give me a lift back to my beloved Garissa . i was going to come to Kuwait with Adeero MOTI but i don't think i can handle another smack so i rather stay back in my Garissa than come all the way to Kuwait just to be punched in the face like if i was a punching bag, what if you brake my nose? Peace.
  18. waraa G/Tuujiye, wait bal aan adeerkeey iyo Nuune soo salaamee oo Nuune inaan isagana meeleeyo uu iiga baahanyahay laakiin yaa dookhiisa yaqaan ee odeygaan iska niikinaayo 24hrs marka sheekada is getting longer and longer marka waan baxaa hada oo waan qayilaad tegi marka berri aa noo ballan ah Insha Allah. Peace.
  19. I see two girls standing at the balcony, they are covered from head to toe with black Jalabeeb and one of them seemed to be encouraging the other with some words that I have never ever head before but they sound like this "Ya Tacban, ya ghurab, ya xabeeb, ya baqeel, ya dig dam, ya qarboosh, ya faras, ya xuux and ya dacas, ya dixiin" now I have never ever heard such language so I didn't know what to make of it. I introduce myself when I say.. "Salam, Ladies, I am IL CAPO" "Allah, waryaa we are OG_Girl and Classique" says one of them. "So, would you mind telling who's who here" I ask. "I am OG_Girl and this is Classique" says OG_Girl. "Hi, Classique, nice to meet you ladies, so why are you alone in this room, you should socialize and meet the rest of the Nomads" I say. "We met everybody already and you are the last person to arrive and now we can say we met each and every member is SOL" says OG_Girl. "So IL CAPO, tell me, how was your flight and how long did it take you to get here" asks Clasiqque. "It took me 14 hours to get here and the flight was terrible, what about yours" I ask. "Oh, we came with our own jet so it took us only 4 hours and the flight was fun" boasts OG_Girl. "Only 4 hours? So would you please give me a lift after the party?" I ask. "We can't, because you are a man dee and we can't travel with a man" replies OG_Girl. "Waryaa, I am your cousin, what do you mean you are a man? i mean i am a man yes but i am your cousin?" I say angrily. "We will give you a lift on one condition" she says. "And what is that?" I ask nervously. "You give me the 5 liters of the fresh camel milk that you promised me and I will take you to Kismayo and from there to catch another lift to Garissa, deal?" she says. "I will think about it," I say. "By the way where is your wife and your kids?" asks Classique. "They are all back in Garissa, speaking of which, I just wanted to call them and see how they are holding up" I say. "So what do you do for a living" asks OG_Girl. "I do what I can" I reply. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asks. "It means what it means" I reply. Ok, ladies it was nice meeting you and remember I am serious about the lift back to Garissa ok? Just as I was about to leave OG_Girl smacks the smile out of my face and she says.. "I always wanted to do that because you told me not to come with any jewelry or somebody will snatch them away, by the way I only came with my Parada bag and no one even looked at it so that tells me you are a liar but guess what? You are not a good liar Sijui Boy" she says. "Adeero said that i should keep an eye on you but now you are getting on my nerve by hitting me in front of everybody" i said. Feeling dizzy and half blinded, I slowly make my way out of their room and back to sitting room when I see Juxa standing at the corner busy writing a text message to an unknown destination. "Juxa, you are the person I wanted to see" I say. "What is wrong IL CAPO, is everything alright" she asks. "Yeah, but I want to ask you a favour please?"I say. "What is the favour about?" "You know, just before we came to this party, my Uncle MOTI came to visit us and he slept in my bed while I slept on the floor, so he was talking in his sleep and I heard him mention your name more than few times and he was saying things that I have never ever heard him mentioning" I say to her. "and what is that he was saying and what did he say about me?"asks Juxaa. "Believe it or not but he was reciting a poem, a love poem that he said he wrote it for you" i say. "What? MOTI, wrote a peom for me, you must be kidding me" says Juxaa. "No, i am not believe me, he even went as far as saying that he always had a soft spot for you" i tell her. "So now what do you want me to do" she asks nervously but she is blushing now. "You see how lonely he is by sitting there all by himself, it would mean the world to me and to him if you went over and keep him company because you know how old fashioned my Uncle is, he is shy but trust me he will enjoy every second of your company" i say. Stay Tuned. Peace. P.S Adeer MOTI, you know i got nothing but LOVE for you and i promise you, that i will make your dream come true, trust your nephew.
  20. After few minutes of mayhem order is finally been restored after they escorted Lander out of the party premises and everybody returned to what they were doing before they were cruelly disrupted by a guy hitting a girl on the head with a bottle.. "Let me introduce you to some of the girls that I roll with" Raula says. "Roll? What do you mean by that? I didn't know people rolled" I argue. Raula, sensing that her slang is bit too much for me calms me down by saying. "Ohh, Sorry, I meant the girls that I am friendly with" "Now that I can understand"I say with a delight. "This is MOMBASA-Queen our own Coast pride, this is SisSade, our own Kiambu Pride and last but not least this is my mlendo twin Wiilo" "Apart from SisSade I met the other two, but it wont hurt meeting them once again, so how are you doing Ladies?"i say. "We are bored because no one has asked us to dance and I am itching to show my latest dance moves" says Mombasa-Queen. "Ooh, Don't worry, I am sure some one will ask you for a dance before the night is over" and with that I make an excuse to go and take a leak. When I get there it is already being occupied so I decide to bide my time until I get a chance. After a while a guy comes out and let me tell you, if fashion police got hold of that guy I am sure they would have sentenced him to life without a parole, in other words this guy made Andre 3000 from Outkast and the Black Eyed Peas look fashion guru. Anyway I take few steps forward towards the Choo and suddenly the foulest smell that I have ever had the misfortune of inhaling hits me and I struggle to breathe, I am sure if there was a pregnant lady she would have had a miscarriage right there and then because of the smell and not wanting to be caught standing there I had to run away and bail out because you know how embarrassing things like that can be so I sneaked out just like the fellow who dropped this atomic bomb. I came out red faced and fortunately I saw a guy and two girls smiling at me and waving at me and I immediately went over to them and the guy stood up and shook my hand and said.. "Hey IL CAPO, how are you doing buddy, great to see you, I am DeadlyVision and these are Ms Word and Last-Princess" he says. "Oooh, how are you all doing? I was looking forward to seeing you guys because I believe we have something in common" I reply. "Yeah, that is true" they all agree. "By the way Ms Word, you look different in real life, I don't know. Back in SOL you look somewhat like Alicia Keys" I say innocently. "Ooh, the reason my Avatar looks like Alicia Keys is because it is Alicia Keys's pic and not mine" says Ms Word. "Ohh, you almost fooled me there" I say feeling embarrassed. "I didn't intend to IL CAPO" she replies. "So how do you like it here" asks Last-Princess. "I like the free drinks and snacks" I reply. "Actually I was referring to the country not the food" says Last-Princess. "Oooh, well, if you are asking me would I like to remain in this country my answer is simple and it is NO because I love Africa and besides my Malaika lives there" I say. "Oh, Ok."says Last Princess. "By the way IL CAPO, we wanted to discuss something with you" says DeadlyVision. "Oh yeah? and what is that?" I ask. "As you know we are the minority here, a dying breed if you will, so I think we should come together and stick together and look out for each other, you know what am saying IL CAPO" says Deadly Vision. "Yeah, I think so" and then I turn to Ms Word and say to her. "Nice pants Ms Word" "Thanks, it is from Vogue"she says. "Mine is from the Native" I reply. "Who is that? I never heard a designer named Native" she says. "Because he is my favourite tailor back in Garissa" I answer. "Oh, I thought you were talking about an international designer" she says. I notice my glass is empty now so I excuse myself and I go to get another glass of pineapple juice when I see the same guy that toxicated the air and I ask my buddy Mojam who that is and he says. "Oh, that is Salafi-Online, why do you ask?" he asks. "No, no big deal really,"I reply. "He is busy chatting up Jalaqsan and she seems smitten by him, don't you think so?" he asks. "is that Jalaqsan?Yeah,I think the two of them make a nice couple don't you think so?"I ask. "I couldn't have agreed more" says Mojam. And after that I decide to go to the balcony and get a fresh air when suddenly I hear a strange language coming from the balcony and I decide to go and have a look at it. Stay Tuned. Peace.
  21. Forget Bush, I'd rather see him stomped to the ground sending young kids to that deserted hole they decided to vote in this dope Fein dictator Hell, I'd rather go and vote for Robert Mugabe he looks out for everyone's safety Instead of using people's feelings and trying to play them you are not a leader,you are a money hungry joke it was only a Pretzel that made you choke but I am not going to be caught in the cloak you create I'm from Garissa mate but I am still full of hate and anger from the wars you chase for oil It's people like you that make my blood boil Just don't come to my soil because you're not wanted think of Iraq and I hope your dreams are haunted listen to their cries, just look at their eyes then you can realise this war is based on lies So drop a bomb on Bush's retreat is that a killing and murder mate? because without a power you are just a civilian think of that when the Iraqi children are dying we band together to stop you from lying We still trying but it is not going to get through because we got another 4 years with you what are we going to do? Peace.
  22. Qac Qaac, sxb muran waxba laguma kala faaiideesto marka filinkaas dhaaf, teeda kale adiga ileen waxaa umuran jeceshahay waa saas?
  23. Innaa Lillaahi Wa Inaa Ileyhi Rajicoon. My deepest condolences to the brother and the rest of the family and I pray that may the good lord Allah s.w have mercy on her and bless her with Jannah. Ameen. Brother Underdog, My thoughts and prayers are with you and may Allah give you the strength to carry on in this trying and testing time. Ameen.
  24. I finally make it to the room where all the Ladies were and let me tell you, the Vibe is unbelievable and some of the girls are dressed to Kill and let me tell you about the Dancing part, Allah Hooyooooooooy, it was the most amazing sight any man would love to see but what I didn't know is "Some girls can Dance" if you know what I mean. . Just before I stepped inside, I met a girl who seemed to have recognized me as she was smiling at me, I smiled back at her and when she came near I could see how excited she was to see me and I was excited to see her too... "Hey, Salam Alaikom IL CAPO, how are you my brother?" she said. "W/Salam my Sister, I am doing great,Thanks, how are you?"I reply. Realizing that I didn't quite recognize her she says... "IL CAPO, it's me FF". not being able to recall any one called "FF" in SOL, I decide to try my luck with guessing so I say.... "Fatuma Farah?" "No, Silly, I am not Fatuma Farah" she says disappointingly. "Oh, I am Sorry my Sister" I said feeling embarrassed. "Waryaa, I am Femme-Fatale"she says. "Oh, My God, I am so sorry, of course, how silly of me to forget you, how are you my sister?" "I'm doing fine, so who did you come with?" she asks. "No, I came alone" I reply. "No, I am sorry, I see you are wearing a wedding ring so I thought maybe I will finally meet this 'Malaika' that we always read about back in SOL"she says. "Oh, don't worry, someday you will Insha Allah" I hear some one call out my name and as I turn I see this Girl who is wearing a bandana made out of Kenya flag and I immediately say to myself she's got to be Raula. "Mzee Wa Garissa vipi, where's your kikoyi, I was expecting you to come with one, so how are you? Raula says jokingly. "Sorry, my favorite kikoyi "Macawista" was wet when I left Garissa and since I couldn't wait for it to dry I have decided to borrow a trouser from my nephew exclusively for this party"I reply. "you mean you only came with one pair of pants?"asks Raula. "Hey, I didn't come here to stay forever, you know,besides i wear one pair of pants for two weeks, so why would I come with a bag full of clothes? Am I going to open a shop here or what?I ask. "You are crazy, do you think one bag of second hand clothes (mtumba) is good enough to open a clothing shop here? Asks Raula. Just before I reply, we hear a loud noise coming from the sitting room and we rush to investigate what caused the unrest and screams at the sitting room, as we get there, I see one skinny guy dressed like he was in Siberia swearing at some one that I couldn't quite see and as I got closer I hear some one call out this guy's name and wouldn't you know he is LANDER and after some political arguments and disagreements decided to take matters into his own hands and hit Rahima on the head with a bottle and Moti, Ngonge,Nuune,Qa Qac,Garab T.,Northerner,Rokko and Ayoub_Sheikh beat the sense out of him because they were disgusted with his actions especially hitting a Lady with a bottle on the head but in his mind he still believes he is right and he keeps swearing at her and says... "Ok, i will wait for you outside, you will see who i am when i catch you outside, MAC SONKOR CALEEN SHAAH i pulled your hair, i scratched all over your face but unfortunately i didn't get the opportunity to bite you and i promise you i will get that opportunity outside when we are finally alone. Stay Tuned Fro Part 6, the killer part. Peace.