Want to Marry 2 Wives

[Naasir]

My fellow Brothers and Sisters

I am currently dating some one with the purpose of getting married when the right time comes. However y'll know when u r dating you talk about almost every thing, one day the subject of getting married to 2nd wife came up and being the blunt man I am, "I said I might with the will of God" She got mad almost kicked me, as u can imagine she didn't speak with me for a weak. Later on I explained to her If I thought of getting 2nd wife I would have discussed with her rather than create a negative atmosphere, and would not have done it with out her consent, she understood but clearly she didn't seem to be entertaining that.

I believe I need 2 women and believe I can financially support (being in the States of course I am not planning to marry some one who isn't going to work at all, hence "house wife").

Now, feel free to give me advise, Also please and I repeat please keep in mind I am only seeking SLAMIC advise not Western, as u know this doesn't apply to the Western ideology.

 

***Peace and unity on the my motherland is on my mind***

[MR ORGILAQE]

You got Balls of steel My son.If you feel this is for you then go for it,as long as you can be fair to them and you have her consent.You got balls alright some of the ladies might stone me from now on so i better find me a stone proof shelter

[Warrior of Light]

Mr Orgi,

Go ahead as long its Islamically correct give the brother advice.

[king_450]

I don't think he needs to have her consent to marry a second wife, our relegion allows to do so, but for respect he can tell her his intension but not required her permission. That is my understanding ,if not drop a line .

[STOIC]

Polygamy is allowed in Islam however in the Quraan it recommends only one wife stating that it is impossible to be fair and establish justice between two wives.If it is impossible to establish a justice between two people then how can you establish a justice between two women.My own uncle back home had three wives.He used to spend more nights in one house than he does on the other wifey's house.Many may argue that polygamy is used to prevent all the deviation to illegal sexual activities but how will one become a fair game player between two people.I know personally sometimes i can't do justice between two of my nieces let alone Life between two wives which can be sometime boring and cluttered with minor annoyances(you dealing with human, remember?)

[- Femme -]

So basically our 'advice' matters more to you than your 'future' wife's opinions and concerns? Okey dokey. Here is mine. Go and talk to her. Tell her the truth about your plans and your feelings on the subject. Then let her decide whether she is willing to live with that. If she is satisfied with the situation, good for her and you, if not, part ways peacefully.

 

Do not lie to her or tell her sweet stuff to get her to marry you, and then completely change your attitude afterwards. That is not right.

[Salafi_Online]

stoic

for the correct understanding of the verse please

visit www.tafsir.com !

 

Naasir bro, I would advice you to go for it mashallah, Polygamy is a great Nicmaa from Allah.

and brother there are many beautiful, pious sisters who dont mind polygamy, i would advice you to move on if thats not for her.

[Jacpher]

I’ll try to give a piece of advice, not a fatwa, so please correct me if I err.

 

Islam permits polygamy under strict condition of treating all wives with equal fairness and justice. Marrying more than one wife requires fairness and justice of all. If one is afraid that he won’t be able to treat them equally & justly, then he’s forbidden to marry more than one. However, the fairness and the justice that’s obligatory is in the areas of (his control) spending, clothes, food, staying overnights, and other materials & financial matters.

 

It’s my understanding that fairness & justice in regards to love isn’t required as it’s something that’s not controllable. The verse in Sura Al-Nisa states that no matter how hard we try; it’s never possible to be fair with women even at our best. I think the Mufasireen said the verse is speaking of fairness with love, which is impossible. One won’t be held accountable for loving one wife more than the other, so long he’s equally fair to all in other aspects of life.

 

As for asking for consent, I asked a Sheikh this very question while attending a Muslim conference years ago. The question was forwarded to a panel of Uluma. One Sheikh said that if you make a contract agreement (either verbal or written) with your wife that you won’t marry another wife with her, it’s obligatory to keep such contract. The other Sheikh disagreed. He said such contract would violate the very basics of Islam. He cited a hadith that state any contract that’s contrary the Kitab of Allah is Baadil. In the end they concluded that it’s not permissible for a woman to ask for a contact that violates the Sunnah and it’s not permissible for a man to sign a contract knowingly he’s going to break it later.

 

Hope that helps.

[NGONGE]

So, you have not married the first and you’re already thinking of marrying the second?

This does not sound like an argument for or against polygamy, this is an argument on RESPONSIBILITY. I would not recommend that you marry at all (for the time being).

 

I don’t think the Islamic view here differs from any other view on this issue.

[-Serenity-]

One Sheikh said that if you make a contract agreement (either verbal or written) with your wife that you won’t marry another wife with her, it’s obligatory to keep such contract. The other Sheikh disagreed. He said such contract would violate the very basics of Islam. He cited a hadith that state any contract that’s contrary the Kitab of Allah is Baadil

That’s an interesting point. New and improved logic. I’ve never heard it from this angle b4. So basically, there is nothing to stop a man from marrying another woman and the woman has no choice whatsoever in the matter…. before or after marriage.

 

Can you elucidate on ‘contrary’ to the kitaab al-qur’an? Keeping in mind that the Qur’an doesn’t encourage polygamy to begin with…unless I misunderstood this too :eek: .

 

In the end they concluded that it’s not permissible for a woman to ask for a contact that violates the Sunnah and it’s not permissible for a man to sign a contract knowingly he’s going to break it later.

Its istubidh to sign any contract if you intend to break it.

 

*Thinks she has paraded herself infront of the swirling daggers... but some1's gotta take the shot... so maaha? *

[Jacpher]

I think there are many things a woman can do to stop her husband from marrying another wife. She can talk to him out of it. She can seek a divorce. I think women can seek divorce in Islam. There was an instance where a woman came to the prophet scw seeking divorce simply because she didn’t like her husband and could not live with him. Although there were no complaints of his treatment, the prophet scw granted her divorce. So yes, it’s permissible for woman to request a divorce.

 

I’m not a learned person and I don’t know if the Qur’an encourages or discourages polygamy but I think the Sheikh was mentioning a hadith that goes like this. “Al Muslimuuna calaa or cinda shuruudihim†Meaning Muslims are bound by their stipulations, shuruut, a compolosy condition. My translation isn’t that good and I hope some will correct if I made error. The other Sheikh brought a similar hadith but different view point. The other hadith said,"Kullu shardin leysa fii kitaabi Allahi fahuwa baadil wa in kaana mi'atu shar-tin." Every stipultion which is not in the book of Allah is void even if it be one hundred stipulations.

 

So I think the Sheikh was trying to point out that this particular shart, condition makes something permissible (polygamy) forbidden. I wrote this in a hurry so I hope it makes sense.

[rudy-Diiriye]

aint nothing wrong if u can manage it!! its xalal

just remember to follow the rules!

 

however, its not a wise idea to throw a bird in your hand for 2 up in the tree! namean! it dont make no sense!! easy does it brotha!!

[FatB]

aaah i see you like a side dich with your main cours!!! hmmm

[Nur]

Nasser bro.

 

This Arabic Poem is an eye opener for the new turf you plan to ride your horse, its the funniest yet most realistic Poem on this topic I have ever read, enjoy it, and in case you dont have an Arabic browser find one from your friends who have it, its worth the trouble:

 

 

The Poem is titled

 

Tazawaj bithnateynin wa laa tubaalii

 

Marry Two, and Do not Worry !

 

 

أتاني بالنصـائح بعـض ناسÙ

......................... وقالوا أنت Ù…Ùقـدامٌ سـياسي

أترضى أن تعيش وأنت شهمٌ

......................... مع امـرأة٠تÙقاسي ما تÙقـاسي

إذا حاضت Ùأنت تحيض معها

......................... وإن Ù†Ùست Ùأنت أخو النÙاسÙ

وتقضي الأربعين بشـرّ٠حالÙ

......................... كَداب٠رأسÙـه Ù‡ÙØ´Ùمت بÙاسÙ

وإن غَضÙبتْ عليك تنام٠Ùرداً

......................... ومحروما Ù‹ وتمعن ÙÙŠ التناسي

تزوَّج باثنـتـين٠ولا تـبالي

......................... Ùنحن Ø£Ùولوا التجارب والÙمراسÙ

Ùقـلت لهم معـاذ الله إني

......................... أخا٠من اعتلالي وارتكاسي

Ùها أنذا بدأتْ تروق حالي

......................... ويورق عـودÙها بعد اليباس

Ùلن أرضى بمشـغلة٠وهمّÙ

......................... وأنكاد٠يكون بها انغـماسي

لي امـرأةٌ شاب الرأس٠منها

......................... Ùكي٠أزيد حظي بانتكاسي

Ùصاحوا سنَّة المختار تÙنسى

......................... وتÙمحى أين أرباب٠الحمـاسÙØŸ

Ùقلت٠أضعتÙÙ… سÙنناً عÙظـاماً

......................... وبعض الواجبات بلا احتراسÙ

لمـاذا سÙـنَّة٠التعـداد كنتم

......................... لها تسـعون ÙÙŠ عـزم٠وباسÙ

وشرع الله ÙÙŠ قلبي Ùˆ روحي

......................... وسÙنَّة سـيدي منها اقÙتـباسي

إذا احتاج الÙتى لزواج٠أÙخرى

......................... Ùذاك له بلا أدنى التـباسÙ

ولكن الزواج له شـروطÙÙŒ

......................... وعدل٠الزوج مشروطٌٌ أساسي

وإن معاشـر النسوان بحرٌ

......................... عظيم الموج٠ليس له مراسي

ويكÙÙŠ ما حملت٠من المعاصي

......................... وآثـام تنـوء بها الرواسـي

Ùقالوا أنت خـوَّاÙÙŒ جـبانٌ

......................... Ùشبّوا النـار ÙÙŠ قلـبي وراسي

ÙØ®Ùضت٠غÙمار تجرÙبة٠ضروسÙ

......................... بها كان اÙتـتاني وابتـئاسي

يحزّ٠لهيـبها ÙÙŠ القلب حـزَّاً

......................... أشـد عليَّ من حـزّ٠المواسي

رأيت عجـائباً ورأيت٠أمراً

......................... غريبا ÙÙŠ الوجـود٠بلا قياسÙ

وقلت٠أظـنّÙني عاشرت جÙنَّاً

......................... وأحسب أنَّني بين الأناسي

لأتـÙÙ‡ تاÙه٠وأقلّ٠أمـرÙ

......................... تÙبـادر حربÙهن بالإنبـجاس

وكم كنت٠الضحية ÙÙŠ مرارÙ

......................... وأجزم بانعدامي و انطماسي

Ùإحداهن شدَّت شعر رأسي

......................... وأخراهن تسحب من أساسي

وإن عثÙر اللسان بذكر٠هذي

......................... لهذي شبَّ مثل الالتـماسÙ

وتبصرني إذا ما احتجت٠أمراً

......................... من الأخرى يكون بالإختلاسÙ

وكم من ليلة٠أمسي حزيناً

......................... أنام٠على السـطوح٠بلا لباسÙ

وكنت٠أنام Ù…Ùـحترماً عزيزاً

......................... Ùصرت٠أنام ما بين البÙساسÙ

Ø£ÙرَضّÙع٠نامس الـجيران دَمّÙÙŠ

......................... وأÙسقي كلَّ برغوث بكاسي

ويومٌ أدَّعي أنّÙÙŠ مريضٌ

......................... مصابٌ بالزكام٠وبالعÙطـاسÙ

وإن لم تنÙع الأعذار شـيئاً

......................... لجئت٠إلى التثاؤب والنعـاسÙ

وإن Ùَرَّطْتّ٠ÙÙŠ التحضير يوماً

......................... عن الوقت المحدد يا تعاسي

وإن لم أرض٠إحداهنَّ ليلاً

......................... Ùيا ويلي ويا سود المآسي

يطير النوم من عيني وأصحو

......................... لقعـقعة٠النـواÙØ° والكراسي

يجيء الأكل لا ملح ٌ عليه

......................... ولا Ø£Ùسقى ولا ÙŠÙكوى لباسي

وإن غلط العيال تعيث حذÙاً

......................... بأحذية٠تـمّÙـر٠بقرب رأسي

وتصرخ ما اشتريت لي احتـياجي

......................... وذا الÙستان ليس على مقاسي

ولو أنى أبوح٠بربع٠حرÙÙ

......................... سأحÙØ°Ù٠بالقدور٠وبالتباسي

تراني مثل إنسـان٠جـبانÙÙ

......................... رأى أسـداً يهمّ٠بالاÙـتراسÙ

وإن اشرÙÙŠ لإحدَّاهن ÙÙجلاً

......................... بكت هاتيك ياباغي وقاسي

رأيتك حامÙلاً كيساً عظيماً

......................... Ùماذا Ùيه من ذهب٠و ماس

تقول تÙحبّÙني وأرى الهدايا

......................... لغيري تشـتريها والمكـاسي

وأحلÙ٠صادقا Ù‹ Ùتقول أنتم

......................... رجالٌ خـادعون وشرّ٠ناسÙ

Ùصرت لحالة٠تÙدمي وتÙبكي

......................... قلوب المخلصـين Ù„Ùما Ø£Ùقاسي

وحار الناس ÙÙŠ أمري لأني

......................... إذا سألوا عن اسمي قلت ناسي

وضاع النحو والإعراب مني

......................... ولخْبطتّ٠الرباعي بالـخÙماسي

وطلَّقت٠البـيان مع المعاني

......................... وضيعَّت ٠الطـباق مع الجناسÙ

أروح٠لأشتري ÙƒÙتباً Ùأنسى

......................... وأشري الزيت أو سلك النحاسÙ

أسير أدور ٠من حيّ٠لحيّÙ

......................... كأنّÙÙŠ بعض أصحاب التكاسي

ولا أدري عن الأيام٠شـيئاً

......................... ولا كي٠انتهى العام الدراسي

Ùيومٌ ÙÙŠ مـخاصمة٠ويومٌ

......................... نداوي ما اجترحنا أو نواسي

وما Ù†Ùعت سياسة بوش يوماً

......................... ولا ما كان من هيلاسيلاسي

ومن حلم ابن قيس أخذت٠حلمي

......................... ومكراً من جـحا وأبي نواسÙ

Ùلما أن عجزت٠وضاق صدري

......................... وباءت Ø£Ùمنـياتي بالإياسـي

دعوت٠بعيشة العÙـزّاب أحلى

......................... من الأنكـاد٠ÙÙŠ ظلّ٠الـمآسي

وجاء الناصحون إليّ Ø£Ùخرى

......................... وقالوا نحن أرباب المراسـي

ولا تسأم ولا تبقى حزيـناً

......................... Ùقد جئـنا بحل٠دبلومـاسي

تزوَّج حرمةً Ø£Ùخرى لتحـيا

......................... سـعيداً سـاÙلماً من كل باسÙ

Ùصحت٠بهم لئن لم تتركوني

......................... لانÙـلتنَّ ضـربا Ù‹ بالـمداسÙ

 

 

Nur

[Mutakalim]

^^

 

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