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Sherban Shabeel

My advice to President Shariif for 2010

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Most esteemed leader of the Somali nation,

 

It is my belief that you can yet be the man who ends Somalia's civil war. These are my step-by-step recommendations for attaining that goal:

 

1. You have been a teacher, then a sheikh, now you are a "cool president". It is time for one final image change: military dictator. Always wear that military uniform and those shades (they all suit you very well may I add) and declare you will not step down at the end of your term. This might mean lessened support from the international community (but what good have they done you anyway?), but not by 100%. After all, the West would rather have a cozy dictator (a la Hosni Mubarak) than an East African caliphate.

 

2. Take charge of your army and limit the influence of your ministers, advisors, counsellors etc.. Otherwise they will be your downfall. Those who resist your reforms and speak of rebellion must be shot for treason.

 

3. Understand how the armed groups you are facing do their training, and let your soldiers train accordingly, not for conventional war but for guerilla war.

 

4. Use terror tactics against the rebels - roadside bombs, ambush, slit the throats of captured fighters. Intimidate them, send them letters written in blood, phonecalls, text messages, threaten them in any way possible. Keep applying these tactics until their courage fails and they rout. But try not to kill children.

 

5. When the rebel armies are in disarray, offer an amnesty to all fighters who surrender to the government. Invite commanders such as Hassan Turki into the government (keep your enemies close) but have Sheikh Aweys publicly executed. Declare and end to the war.

 

The people of Somalia are behind you, most esteemed President. Apply these tactics and history will remember you as the man who brought peace to Somalia - the country will be yours to rule until your death. I am your most humble advisor,

 

-Sherban Shabeel

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4. Use terror tactics against the rebels - roadside bombs, ambush, slit the throats of captured fighters. Intimidate them, send them letters written in blood, phonecalls, text messages, threaten them in any way possible. Keep applying these tactics until their courage fails and they rout. But try not to kill children

I thought your teachigs said "TURN THE OTHER CHEEK" or was that an empty slogan???? :eek: what your calling is sadistic,bloody and un acceptable in this day and age, two wrongs don't do right.

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Originally posted by Sherban Shabeel:

Moonlight,

 

The advice I have given pertains to ending a civil war, not to the ascent of the soul to heaven.

so you mean "The ends justify the means" glad we agree on that at least .. as for sharif don't get your hopes up the man is a lost cause.

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Raamsade   

Lets not forget that Sh. Shariif was himself part of this Jihad madness only a couple or so years ago. Although he has toned down the Jihad or the religious rhetoric he employed while a member of the UIC... I suspect he still has a soft spot for his erstwhile allies now turned sworn enemies. How else can one explain his calls for negotiations with people who blew Madina Hotel in Beledweyne killing and maiming nearly a 100 people? I'm afraid Sh. Shariif simply doesn't possess the right stuff the occasion calls. In another time, he would perhaps make a good leader. Not today though.

 

What Somalia needs today is savvy, pragmatic and at the same time ruthless and opportunistic leader willing to play both soft and hard in dealing with the Jihadi miscreants.

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Originally posted by Sherban Shabeel:

Most esteemed leader of the Somali nation,

 

It is my belief that you can yet be the man who ends Somalia's civil war. These are my step-by-step recommendations for attaining that goal:

 

1. You have been a teacher, then a sheikh, now you are a "cool president". It is time for one final image change: military dictator. Always wear that military uniform and those shades (they all suit you very well may I add) and declare you will not step down at the end of your term. This might mean lessened support from the international community (but what good have they done you anyway?), but not by 100%. After all, the West would rather have a cozy dictator (a la Hosni Mubarak) than an East African caliphate.

 

2. Take charge of your army and limit the influence of your ministers, advisors, counsellors etc.. Otherwise they will be your downfall. Those who resist your reforms and speak of rebellion must be shot for treason.

 

3. Understand how the armed groups you are facing do their training, and let your soldiers train accordingly, not for conventional war but for guerilla war.

 

4. Use terror tactics against the rebels - roadside bombs, ambush, slit the throats of captured fighters. Intimidate them, send them letters written in blood, phonecalls, text messages, threaten them in any way possible. Keep applying these tactics until their courage fails and they rout. But try not to kill children.

 

5. When the rebel armies are in disarray, offer an amnesty to all fighters who surrender to the government. Invite commanders such as Hassan Turki into the government (keep your enemies close) but have Sheikh Aweys publicly executed. Declare and end to the war.

 

The people of Somalia are behind you, most esteemed President. Apply these tactics and history will remember you as the man who brought peace to Somalia - the country will be yours to rule until your death. I am your most humble advisor,

 

-Sherban Shabeel

^^

 

Great plot for a movie, Sherbaan. Just one change and you just might have yourself an award winning blockbuster!

 

The biggest change that I can think of, is that you'll have to cast a different person altogether as the hero of this roller-coaster thriller of yours. Nobody in the audience will believe Shariif is capable of defending his own home without the help of Amisom forces, let alone single-handedly crush the niqaab wearing deviants. :D

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