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Hayat

Do MeN Find successful WoMaN intimidating?

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Hayat   

it always seemed to me that times have changed thus we are progressively changing with it. but preharps i am not correct.Being bought up in a house which was male dominated(in terms of numbers) it never occurred to me that men would find successful women intimidating. you see my father and brothers have always been fussy about my achievements and always pushing me to reach my outmost best.their main effort and emphases was that i got somewhere in my life,seing how this was the way i was bought up and adding to the fact that my best friends also had brothers who were strict and insisted on their future well-being i never thought that it could be possible. then the most shocking thing happened, for the first time in my life i received hostility from men about my status. i thought that it was a mere incident and did not put much thought into it. but it can it be possible? are the male species resorting to hostility because of intimidation? have females scarred the male-ego or set back male domination? or is this out of sheer ignorance?

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Salaan...

 

Maxaa ka wadaa "successful women?" Do you mean holding degree in minimum education, skirt-wearing, working in a cubicle/office and spending her salary on the latest shoes, purses, and a bit manicure and pedicure here and there with a little insecurity about whole outfield of what is known life, a la Sex and the Magaalo?

 

Is that what is considered "successful" these days?

 

People define "successful" differently in many parts of this world -- applying both to men and women. Some females might be considered "successful" if they only bear a child. Some men are thought to be "successful" in life holding a corrupted office, deliberately living on public funds as they see fit. Such are only two examples.

 

Oh, I just realized you may have meant independent women. Well, Soomaali women were [and are] always one of the fiercest independent women around, from having and managing their own camels and farms to their own large businesses, some in equal partnerships with men. The phrase 'indedependent women' is nothing new to us. Getting a little further education doesn't make one more independent.

 

Eniwey, soo dhawoow, Jawaahir.

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Khayr   

Originally posted by JaWaRiYa:

it always seemed to me that times have changed thus we are progressively changing with it. but preharps i am not correct.Being bought up in a house which was male dominated(in terms of numbers) it never occurred to me that men would find successful women intimidating. you see my father and brothers have always been fussy about my achievements and always pushing me to reach my outmost best.their main effort and emphases was that i got somewhere in my life,seing how this was the way i was bought up and adding to the fact that my best friends also had brothers who were strict and insisted on their future well-being i never thought that it could be possible. then the most shocking thing happened, for the first time in my life i received hostility from men about my status. i thought that it was a mere incident and did not put much thought into it. but it can it be possible? are the male species resorting to hostility because of intimidation? have females scarred the male-ego or set back male domination? or is this out of sheer ignorance?

Just think of it as ROLE REVERSAL

 

Would you be interested in a man

who DID NOT WORK and STAYED AT HOME !?

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^ Yes....as long as he looked after the kids and the house.

 

 

*Dream mode*

 

Imagine coming home to hot food, sleepy kids and your gorgeous husband all waiting for you. Oh..oh..am getting misty eyed...

 

*Dream mode off*

 

 

icon_razz.gif

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Yeniceri   

^^

 

Sounds much more appealing in cyberspace as opposed to reality.

 

As far as the question, its too broad for any definitive answer. Of course, "some" men would find "successful women" intimidating. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't be intimidated in the least. How is a successful woman a threat, exactly?

 

If the "successful woman" and the man in question understand each other and function properly in their spheres of life, then I don't see why one party would be intimidated by the other. As with everything in life, its all relative. But the question is generalizing and compounding "men" as if we were a single entity that functions in harmony across the globe (when, in fact, the truth is far removed from any such preposition).

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First, define successful woman?

 

If you mean educated, it depends what. If you mean one who has a career, it depends what, when and where.

 

In my opinion, successful woman is one who has family (husband and kids) and performs her duties as a mother/wife perfectly. Such woman is liked, respected and appreciated by everyone and in every culture and I don’t understand why someone can be intimidated by her.

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No, I don't find sucessful women intimidating. Quite the contrary, I find them strikingly attractive. I like my women rich, independent, reticent, intelligent with upward posture of arrogant haughtiness, savage, uncivilised look and with a single dart of the eyes can curdle fresh goat milk. In short, Somali! smile.gif

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Khayr   

Why is this in the Camel debate section?

 

Anyways,

 

same old crap...young and single folks spewing liberal garbage....wait until u have a family then you will appreciate the traditional roles that each person plays.

 

Ahura,

 

Waan reeyonaasa! smile.gif

 

SB,

 

if u ever get unemployed and are married and your wife brings in the bread and milk instead of you...then come and talk about finding a 'successful women attrative' after u get verbally abused and sent packing to your 'boy's' house...lol

 

People with little life experience are always yapping liberal tunes....caajib! :rolleyes:

 

Jawariya,

 

If you want to SELF BOAST about MAKING IT as a cliche INDEPENDANT WOMEN, then u are in the wrong site.... :D

 

Allah yah deekum!

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Hayat   

Maxaa ka wadaa "successful women?" Do you mean holding degree in minimum education, skirt-wearing, working in a cubicle/office and spending her salary on the latest shoes, purses, and a bit manicure and pedicure here and there with a little insecurity about whole outfield of what is known life, a la Sex and the Magaalo?

 

Is that what is considered "successful" these days?

no walaal, this is no what i had meant by "success", nor are your other guess. the closest being your reference to "being independent", although i believe that regardless of whether you are male or female, u are never ultimately independent: independent from the bondage of man over man, but never-the-less always dependent towards your creator. anywayz, the sort of succcess i was laying out was: the successful woman, who can practically juggle everything: working not at a "cubicle office" but at a job that serves the community and also pays more then what men typically earn(lets say pharmacy), who us very educated and influential.who is prized for her sense of knowledge and so forth,who is surprisingly young and very glamourous(what she does not have in looks she makes up in style)

 

ok maybe snoby because she knows her worth. (by the way guys don't get ideas in your head,..........if i am not describing myself i am describing a friend or a particular role model of mine). Who despite doing all this, still has the time to do something for her religion(lets say gives lectures) who is enjoying the heights she has achieved and walks down the street thinking that she is worth millions and turns the other cheeck when the foolish address her............what would you say to that?.......does she not have a right to think that she is "all-that n above"?, does she not have the right to turn you down if u are lets say not her level, without you mentioning that she is not "all-that-just because has achieved something?

would you degrade her so that she feels somewhat like your level? or turns a cheek your way?. is this somewhat intimidating?

 

] now, i tried my best to be realistic, and hope that i am not creating a "alph-woman", seriously this is closest to the truth and i do appeal to your sense of reasoning......................

 

ps. Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar i appreciate the welcome aboow-hes but my name is Jawariya, not Jawaahir....(don't worry typical somali-mistake)

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Hayat   

Jawariya,

 

If you want to SELF BOAST about MAKING IT as a cliche INDEPENDANT WOMEN, then u are in the wrong site....

 

, see what i mean....................SHEER HOSTILITY!!..................A question which demanded reasoning but received typical somali-men enrage............

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Posted by Kheyr

if u ever get unemployed and are married and your wife brings in the bread and milk instead of you...then come and talk about finding a 'successful women attrative' after u get verbally abused and sent packing to your 'boy's' house...lol

 

People with little life experience are always yapping liberal tunes....caajib
!

 

*Index finger on my cheeck, while my thump supports my chin. looks at the screen in disbelieve*

 

You must be kidding me kheyr? I now sincerely think, it's you who has a little life experience and is always yapping.

 

Let's assure, you were in the same situations you speak of and you and your wife(part time, baby sitting for instance) are both working to support your family. Consiquently you lost your job, you are finding it very hard to find a job in your search, savings is getting bleak. Your sweet wife goes and buys milk and bread for she is clearly the bread winner in this timeframe,but she does this for goodwill and humbleness and to support your sorry a$$. Are you not going to eat that bread or drink that milk?

 

 

It's backword metality like yours, that really amazes me at times.

 

I once read it somewhere " What a black man's masculiny does to a white man IS what a black women's compitence does to black man" for the lack of better term, I would say "appreciate" what you have.

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bilan   

i am not a man so i do not know answer to that question,but what really amazes me is why do majority of somali men believe we spend all our money on shoes and trivial things,some women work because they have parents and siblings to support and also it gives them identity.

it is really sad kheir that your expectation of women are so low and you are married. so what is wrong if your wife put food on the table,if you are unable to do so for whatever reason,what is the point of being married, if husband and wife are not helping each other out.i hope you will appreciate if your wife put food on the table and pays bills when you are laid off.

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Modesty   

These days it seems that "success" is defined by a piece of degree. However, does that "degree" make you trully successful? I don't really think so, but it's better than not having one as far as image goes. It's just about image most of the time in my opinion.So do you mean "success" by the number of Somali women with degrees?

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Nothing is more important then a great role model for a child.Majority of Somali dudes I meet tell me that their ultimate baby momma would have to be driven and dedicated to whatever she does.Whether it be educational/career wise or family orientated at home.

 

To me the point is focusing on whats best for my family unit's future.Insha'Allah.

As I am nothing without it.What better rolemodel for a child then a mum/dad who are hardworking,dedicated,passionate and supportive to each other in all that they do? ;)

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