^^^ s'ok, I have no secrets. I was born in 1985

Val, The Somali Embassy in Abu Dhabi has always been the best place in the world to issue counterfeit Somali passports and documents. Want a birth certificate? Go to those boys and watch them conjure up one out of thin air.

d/p

^^^ Not just that. Anyone that went to Somalia during the Christmas holidays and happened to be caught up in the recent fighting can’t leave the country now. If they try, the Ethiopians will arrest them for the simple fact that they have a British passport! Heh.

Aided is just a big mouth, isn’t he? He’s talking about the money that was sent to the ICU from the UK and elsewhere and trying to say that these people were funding terror! If you have dual nationality do not bother going to Somalia anytime soon. Meles and Aideed both think you’re a terrorist. Have you sent any money home recently? Boohoo! Terrorist sympathiser.

^^ Still can't trust you Originally posted by AAliyah416: Ngonge are u kidding , or do you truly believe sex is only for reproduction ...Lord... wa salaam Yes. That was one option. I'm not a lord.

Britons held in Somali clashDANIEL MCGRORY· Seven suspects seized as they fled · Captives could be sent to Guantanamo Several British terror suspects have been captured during the fighting in Somalia, it was claimed yesterday. At least seven Britons are said to have been picked up as they fled with fighters from the Islamic movement when they were forced out of the capital, Mogadishu. The men, all carrying British passports and including one said to have been badly wounded, are reportedly being held by Ethiopian troops. The Foreign and Commonwealth Office said last night that it was still waiting to check the identities of the men and establish what the Ethiopian authorities intend to do with them. The fear is that they could be handed over to American forces and some then taken to Guantanamo Bay or other US prison camps if they are thought to have strong links with al-Qaeda. The British authorities are expected to ask for the men to be deported to Britain, where they can be prosecuted under new terror laws if there is any evidence of their association with al-Qaeda or taking part in terror operations abroad. Last week, the voice of al-Qaeda’s second-in-command, Ayman al-Zawahiri, was posted on a website used by Islamic militants encouraging sympathisers from the West to join a campaign of suicide bombings and guerrilla warfare in Somalia. British officials say that they will also investigate claims yesterday from Ethiopia’s rulers that Somali families living in Britain have been funding the Islamist militia. The role of the British fighters was disclosed yesterday by Meles Zenawi, the Prime Minister of Ethiopia, whose troops led the attacks that routed the Union of Islamic Courts (UIC). The UIC denies that it has links with al-Qaeda. Mr Meles said that the Britons were found among units of the Islamic militia as well as Canadians and other Westerners in what he described as an “international brigade”. The Foreign Office said: “We take these reports very seriously and will do everything we can to look into them.” A spokesman said: “We are in constant touch with the Ethiopian and Somalian governments, but we have not yet been given any documentation or the names of those allegedly involved.” Mr Meles told Le Monde, the French newspaper, that “many international terrorists are dead in Somalia”. He said: “Photographs have been taken and passports from different countries have been collected. We have injured people coming from Yemen, Pakistan, Sudan and the United Kingdom.” Hussein Mohammad Adeed, his deputy, also claimed that Britons were among those killed, but he gave neither names nor the exact number who died. He refused to reveal whether any of the Britons had been caught up in the US air attacks over the past two days. Mr Hussein said that the Britons were captured while they were trying to flee through territory controlled by al-Qaeda sympathisers. The captured Britons were all “al-Qaeda indoctrinated”. Security sources in East Africa told The Times that the Ethiopians were claiming to be holding seven British passport-holders. All the men are understood to have joint UK/Somali nationality. The problem for the British authorities is that, because of the violence, they do not have any diplomatic presence in Somalia. Mr Hussein did not give any estimate of how many Britons joined up with the UIC, nor how many British passport-holders he believed were still being sheltered in what he claimed were al-Qaeda camps bordering Kenya and on small islands. He said that the search for British and other Western militants would continue. There are claims that one of the Britons was taken from a hospital that was raided by Ethiopian troops. A Western aid worker, who did not want to be named, said that the Ethiopians forced their way into the hospital in Dinsoor and demanded that staff hand over all the files and documents belonging to “international patients”. The aid worker claimed that the troops removed a number of injured foreigners, but he did not know the nationalities. In an interview with More4 News, Mr Hussein identified Britain as a “major source of funding for the Islamic militants”. He said that his Government “wants to open negotiations with Somali refugees — particularly in London”, who, he claims, are the main channel of funding for the UIC. A recent report by a United Nations monitoring group said in November that “in recent months fundraising by the Somali diaspora in the UK has resulted in donations through the hawala [banking] system of an estimated $1.1 million”. The report added that another $300,000 (£150,000) came from Somali families in Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Finland. To Britain, however, the movement of militants is of far greater concern than the flow of cash, which Treasury officials suggested last night was not as important to the Islamic movement in Somalia as the Ethiopian officials claimed. British security authorities have been trying to keep a watch on the handful of British jihadists of Somali and East African backgrounds who have been smuggled into terror training camps in the jungles and swamps along the border with Kenya. Western agents have been unable to infiltrate these networks. Source

^^ Was he called there or did he go? Wonder what new deal they'll offer him.

Originally posted by Valenteenah: ^ Obviously, he must have been disguised as one of the Courts fellas. Well played

True. But the fact that they went on the offensive is, in my opinion, their biggest blunder. Now that they’ve been easily defeated and have (mostly) vanished into thin air many are wondering if the Courts were really any good to start with or just the simple concoction of dreamy amateurs. This is the shot in the foot I’m talking about. Still, that’s old news. We have to observe the TFG as they shoot themselves in the foot time and again yet still carry on walking with the use of those powerful Ethiopian crutches. I wouldn’t openly pray for war and destruction but I do seriously, sincerely and with all my heart hope that all these TFG charlatans fall and fail in their designs. Allah yestor.

^^ Get wid da program, old lady. Good looking = would like to lay with her = good lay. Geddit?

^^^ But the Courts did shoot themselves in the foot. I agree with you on the total unsuitability of this government. But I’m not sure that fighting them is the best thing to do (even though I’m more than certain that is what will eventually take place). In any case, the Courts didn’t come out of thin air. The people of Somalia brought out the Courts to deal with Somalia’s deteriorating situation and I’m sure they too are what will bring out a new opposition to this incompetent, objectionable and hopeless government.

^^^ Yes. That's why I'm annoyed. When the TFG sought Ethiopian help it really was not as much of a big deal as people made it out to be. We could have had a million explanations and conspiracy theories about it all but, in the end; we could only go by what we see. In that case, the Courts were itching for a fight and provoking an Ethiopian retaliation. The TFG, though vulgar and distasteful, could just about argue that they had no other choices. This open American involvement and the approval it’s receiving from the TFG and Djibouti is a different ball game altogether. This is sick. This is sad. This is grrrrrrrrrr..

^^^ Ubax is a great name by the way and that woman in the first post is a great representation of the name.

For the first time in this recent conflict I’m actually seriously angry and annoyed. la xawla wala qowata illa bi allah.

Heh@Viking. Inspired link Val, I'm not sure what your comment was supposed to mean. I don't trust your words at the best of times :mad:

Heh@Castro In that case, carry on. If you achieve nothing other than get on Duke's nerve it'll be enough for me.

^^^ Lately, you’ve been bubbling with anger at anything and everything to do with the TFG and Ethiopia. As vile as they are, it’s really not worth getting into these depressing moods over them. Come back from the dark side, Luke.

cynical lady, was it the 'food for thought' part that got to you?

Not wishing to derail your topic in anyway but what this thread reminded me of was the sad case of neutered cats! Apart from humans, monkeys and rabbits, cats seem to be the friskiest creatures on earth. Countless times have they kept me awake at night with their constant (and very annoying) mating calls! They just never seem to be having enough of it. I’m not spouting empty talk here. I have, over a number of years, observed the behaviour of cats. When a female cat is on heat, limitless numbers of tomcats suddenly appear out of nowhere and all wait their turn like one of those old Soviet bread lines. What puzzles me here, is how do cats learn about sex (how do animals in general?) and what books, films and other materials do they have access to in order to know how to satisfy the neighbourhood’s she-cat? The mind boggles (and right now, I’m starting to wonder if our local orange spotted she-cat is not in fact some famous porn actress in the feline world. She does saunter around in a sluttish way after all). Though I’m an expert in the feline sexual practices (from simple observation rather than participation) I have not yet had the pleasure (or misfortune) to observe two cats experimenting with different positions (they lack imagination I suppose). Having said that, I did, on several occasions study their foreplay techniques. Nothing to write home about there I’m afraid. All cats are sadistic and use foreplay as an opportunity to bite, scratch and hiss at each other in a very angry way. I do not recommend it at all. Well, not unless that’s your cup of tea. On another point, eunuchs, those castrated males, do they at all have any sexual thoughts I wonder? I suppose they must at least have them in their dreams (where, probably, everything is in good working order). Still, surely they’re in a worse fix than neutered cats! What about house flies? How do they do it? I mean they’re very dirty creatures. How does the female fly allow a dirty - just been rolling in some excrement- male, come anywhere near her? Has she no standards? Then again, to be fair to those males, I have often spotted them on some window or tabletop, busy cleaning their faces and bodies. Was it their lucky night, I wonder! Still, houseflies must have some amazing sexual positions. Battle of Britain like in their intricacies and difficulty! Bombs, Away. Bees on the other hand, have perfected the foreplay sport; they come to the game already dripping with honey and wax, would you say that qualifies as a candle lit dinner? Ok, I shall stop the ridicule now. I can clearly see that this is nothing but a windup thread but, for the benefit of our readers, I shall try to tackle it head on. Of course, I am not a female, let alone a circumcised one. And my experience with and knowledge of circumcised females is, truly, not as good as the one I have with neutered cats. Still, if I wring my brain and chew this topic for a bit, I’m sure I can come up with a satisfactory reply. Aha! Here is a popular one that I managed to unearth from the recesses of my mind. Why do you have to enjoy sex at all? Somebody somewhere on the authority of someone else, once said that intercourse is simply a means for reproduction and that many people forget this fact and view sex as a means to an end (orgasm in this case). From that position, orgasm would be akin to a man (and a woman) building a house, and as they clear the land to start building, they find a shiny gold ring or even a treasure (if it’s multiple orgasms. Come on, keep up keep up). Suffice to say that not every couple that try to build a house stumble upon shiny rings or treasures. Of the many light bulbs that were switched on in my mind as I read this topic of yours, the most mirthful of the lot was the one were I wondered if you were actually doing things correctly! Sex, by its nature, is a very straightforward activity. It’s like building a simple kitchen table. How hard could it be to attach four legs to a middle body? I don’t think it’s that hard. But I think the problem with people, unlike cats, bees and flies, is that they’re trend and fashion victims. Nobody wants simple tables anymore. They all want to go to IKEA for their tables. And once they got the parts, they spend hours trying to work out what goes where and how. As a consequence, they’re often left with many unaccounted for screws, even though the table seems to be fully assembled! As a result of these homeless screws, these people declare that their table is not perfect and that it shall never become complete unless those screws are put in their rightful place! The problem of course, is that only an expert can really do it the right way and most of us are not experts. Oh! Another light bulb moment! What if IKEA just include these extra screws to tease us all? There must be some wisdom behind that. I could go on but I think I’ve said enough for now. Ps There is no topic that cannot be discussed in an open forum. It all depends on the tone and style of the person presenting the topic. Our author here was too blunt and direct for any of us to seriously consider replying. I know we are talking about sex but I suggest that you dress your words up a bit next time. They fell on the vulgar side this time. PPs The ladies below are talking to the man above. :cool:

LST, couldn't agree more. But you’re talking about levelheaded people here while I was trying to roll with the punches.

that your price will drop down, that you will not be considered wify material. Heh. Will people be saying: Don't marry heblaayo she slept with blue-hefner! Could you believe she'd stoop so low? If you marry her, revise the dowry to reflect her low standards. ps I think Che is fishing in murky waters.

Heh. What a strange thread to start flirting on, you two Take it to the PM.

^^^ Eh? What's that in English (or even Somali).

ibtisam, I think this guy: confused cynical lady and got her to see lines that are not there. Heh@Val. With every passing year, women let go of one of their restrictions. I think your objection to cricket will go in about six years (assuming that you are 22 now).