*Blessed;871082 wrote: Thats nice of you Narnia, my mum does the bank card thing, I'm always telling her off about it. I like odayaasha but wouldn't trust young Somalis as I was once attacked by a Somali drunk AFTER I helped him out, this skinny, dirty thing demands that I give him my number and when I tell him to eff off, he grabs my hands and tries to press me against the wall, I some how manage to push him and to my surprise like a rag doll he just falls to the ground, bal maxaa kalifay? Istupidh fool! . Aww@ your mom Blessed lol. Where I live there aren't many Somalis. I'm sorry about what happened to you, must have been terrifying for you. Good on you though that you pushed him. What an Idi0t|! Something similar happened to my Sister in New Zealand. She was crossing the street and this Somali man grabbed her hand just like that, and wouldn't let go off her. She was scared and screamed. A Maori guy the size of Dwayne Douglas came to her rescue. Thank god he made him let go off her hand. Turned out the guy was mentally ill. Faarax-Brawn;871346 wrote: Good job narniah...next time,dont ever walk home alone in the dark, ever. I never walk alone at night, I came from school and spent most of the evening revising and researching for my assignment. I usually get a ride from my family. You are right, it's not worth it. Thanks bro, and welcome back to the forum. I haven't seen you post.

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my long story. I'm happy you enjoyed it. All your encouraging kind words meant a lot to me and JazakAllah khyr for the duas, May Allah bless you all in return for it ameen. I'm a little tired wait, maybe a lot! I can't quote every post:(, I wish I could personally all write you back. I'll quickly address some of the lil questions I got asked. To those who are assuming the elderly man had bad intentions. Put yourself in that situation. Imagine yourself that old and in need. I'm pretty sure you'd want for someone to answer your call for help too and not judge you. Specially when your in a foreign country, far from home and of old age. Why the old man didn't know how to cash out his own money from the atm machine? Who knows maybe he had eysight problem, maybe he was unwell. Or perhaps he couldn't read, Allahu Allam. It is part of the adab of a Muslim to make excuses for your fellow Muslim. I didn't think it was appropriate on my part to be as rude to ask him why he couldn't take out his own money. That never crossed my mind. All I cared about is that I could offer him the help he needed. That's all that mattered to me. I'm glad I did that, however hard it seemed, Alhamdulilah. As you have all read, it had a major impact on me and It's something that I find hard to convey into words, but I tried so hopefully you felt what I was trying to say. Chimera, I'm glad your safe and out of harm. That was scary to read. Stay safe and I hope that never happens to you again Inshallah.

On my way home. I was passing a very dark street alone. Normally I get a ride home but due to unavoidable circumstances I was to go home by bus. I received a phone call from my cousin who immediately mocked me and said, 'This time speak in af somali or I'm hanging up on you walahi'. Showing him what I got I jokingly replied to him in my funny af Somali and we had a good laugh and that was the end of that call. Suddenly I was caught off guard by a distant male voice saying 'Ader ader kalay, i need help''. I looked all around I didn't know where the voice came from. I looked again and there in the corner to my surprise was a disheveled looking old man. My innate response was to just leg it. I was thinking to myself 'Don't talk back pretend like your deaf''. I was stopped by the red light and he was right behind me now, and I stood there apprehensively. I heard him talk in af somali again and this time he said something along the lines 'did I hear you speak in Somali ader?' I still waited for the light to turn green but it seemed to take forever. Then I carefully turned my head back and made eye contact solemnly. When I first looked at him I saw a very tall, intimidating black man. When I looked closer I saw a kind but yet sad face. I was instantly moved and felt bad because I could see he was about to give up calling for me. I walked towards his direction fearing for my life, thinking what if he harms me. I know your all thinking gosh your so paranoid, but what if he was a criminal and let me remind you all it was awfully dark. Mind you, I take the whole 'Don't speak to a stranger very seriously. I made this promise my father long time ago. One night when we watched the news we followed a story of a man who tried to help a pregnant woman and her husband who were being attacked by another man in some dark alley. It turned out it was all a set up, and that very man who tried to help the couple turned out paralyzed and got almost beaten up to death not only by the man but the pregnant woman also physically harmed him/ they also robbed him. I remember my father made me promise him that day to be careful of strangers, they're all a potential threat and could possibly harm me. Even the ones who look the most innocent. I walked up to him he asked me, 'ader somali ma tahay'. I said Haa. He asked me this several times with a bewildered look on his face. He seemed surprised, because I don't look Somali at all. Feeling somewhat anxious asked him, how I could help him. Struggling with his big shaking old hands he went through his wallet and took out his bank card. Right where we stood there was an atm machine. He pointed towards it and said. 'Ader, ho kar keyga bangiga numberkga an ku shega some money iga so saar i dahai. Surprised feeling more at ease, I took the card from him he told me his pin with complete trust. As he stood next to me he asked me to take out a sum of money. I did it for him, and gave him the money and his card he asked me, 'ader maha iga cabsatay marka'? I said to him, 'Ader maku akhani strangers ma la hadli walgey. He nodded his head with agreement saying few words 'Sah Sah, wa runta' ima takantid as he appeared to be in deep thoughts. And said to me, 'ader ilah ba i ka so diri, qof i helpeyo u bahna lakeen adiga ku stopeyey. I then felt like I was really in front of my own family member. Even though I don't know this man I felt like I was helping my own awoowe or ayeeyo. Then he said to me, wan ku aminey marka i ak martay, hadana wa ii helpeysey, ilah iyo mala'iktisa haku hafido. I said Ameen. He said to me, Asalamalaikum wr wb and walked away. As I walked away, I catched myself taking glimpses towards his direction. I don't know why but I kept looking at him until I no longer could see him. I felt this need to make sure he was alright. Then I noticed my bus passing me by right in front of me, as you can see though Allah had better plans for me tonight. I know this story might be boring to some of you, but it really meant a lot to me. I'm not the kind of a person who will ever be approached by a Somali as most of them think I'm Arab. When I speak in Somali they still say 'are you mixed'? I always must explain myself alot in gatherings where Somalis are found. It's such a nuisance. Hence why I avoid it. To have this elder Somali man approach me, shows I'm very Somali. Maybe if I hadn't spoken in Af somal he would have never stopped me from the crowds passing by. Even though he reassured me that he felt like Allah sent me to help him, I feel like he was sent to inspire me in ways I can't begin to explain. I wish I invited him to our home so he can meet my parents and my family. Unfortunately I didn't but I will never forget him. It has also taught me the lesson that my language is all I have that shows who I am and were I ever to lose it that I'd lose my entire identity all together. I decided to take this very seriously, and take it upon myself to master my own language. I'm also immensely humbled by this old man who has come to me for need, but he gave me something in return that he will never know.

Showqi;821657 wrote: We haven't seen his body. So he is still alive........................... I think he is gone hiding. I think they killed him. He should have never trusted al shabab. I doubt he can hide from them this long, knowing how Somalis love to pass on every little information they hear. He was better of joining the Chechen Mujahideen at least they are fighting for a noble cause and not against their own fellow men.

Goomo= Rubber eraser Balanbalis

Blue! Don't you just LoOoOve how it smells? (The organix coconut nourishing milk). It's almost smells like it has a touch of vanilla too. I love how it makes my hair shine/ leaves it so silk, leaves my ends unbelievably smooth ohh it does everything lol (cut)! I would be the perfect hair model for this. Sunlight also lightens the hair.

^You so gonna love it Aaliyaah!=) Apophis are you suggesting your bald?

My two new found Love. AhhMayzing! 1 2

raula;868987 wrote: Narniah....call me Ayeeyo & don't take it personal sis..you have my support in whateva you decide. As for the post: I will only marry Cadaanka..if they spoke swahili & grew up (~)10 yrs in Kenya/TZ..other than that..unless i was born in the diaspora..kinda hard for me to put aside my somaliness/sijuiness (or wateva culture i grew up in). In any case..at this point "my calendar is booked" so no chance for Cadaan or farax any time soon ***there are so many posts that say..would you marry ____& _____....i wonder if there is one our there that says..would you marry a farax/somali ? its a plausible question me thinks. Raula lol so it's strictly sijui for you huh that's understandable considering you are one (am I right)?. Thanks for the support it's appreciated. I don't think there is a thread titiled 'would you marry a farax' but i'm sure it would cause a lot unnecessary drama though and many disputes. /: Wadani;869534 wrote: And in here, Narniah, lies the problem. Somali girls throw themselves at these reverts despite many of them being unsuitable for marriage. It's as if his conversion to Islam absolves him from living up to any of the standards Somali girls would otherwise use to measure up Somali guys. For example, from a Somali guy she'll demand 10,000 dollars in meher, but the revert is soooo masha'Allahhh, so a copy of the Qur'an will suffice as dowry right? Disgusting, and wreaks of self-hatred. I'm aware of this and I'd like to conclude that I'm not all for this. However, we must ask ourselves why? I imagine they were either born/bred here or grew up here from a very young age. It's hard growing up in two different cultures and balancing that as an adult becomes even more challenging. I think the reason some of these sisters accept less from reverts, is because they don't always have the support from their families (even in the case where the parents are ok with it's the extended family that creates issues behind the scenes. This can be ignored but it still has a negative affect on the entire process. When you have the love/support from your family, I think you have a room to think more of yourself and demand accordingly. I also think the families in a lot of cases undermine their daughters indirectly and treat them differently when they bring a non-Somali man. When a Girl brings a Somali guy the family wants to immediately help out with the wedding, outdo the mans family, show how much they love their daughter. There's a sense of closeness/Love, you feel like you have a family. Unfortunately this is not the case when the girl marries a revert. They know this deep down that's why they're accepting of less. The family too knows there's no other Somali family that they need to impress, It's just a revert his family are most likely gaal so who cares what they think of us right? Were they Somali, the family would be bending backwards to make a positive impression on the in laws. I know a friend of my sister who married a revert. When her older sister married a Somali guy. Everyone in her family helped out with the wedding. The girl was treated like a princess (the way a bride is suppose to be treated) She got suitcases of the most expensive traditional clothes/Gold/Money as gifts. However when the younger girl got married, she just had a small nikah , no one gave her gifts or even suggested she too should have a wedding at all. It was so sad cause I know both of the sisters and the apparent injustice at play was for all to see. These are one of the ignored factors that contribute to the problem you mentioned. Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar;869600 wrote: Gtabdhaheena maxee saan iskugu raqiisiyeen ilaa hadda la yaabanahay. Look at what they are discussing in non-Soomaali forums: Ilaa hadda wax aanan fahmin was why the reverts only go after Soomaali sisters. It seems it is pretty much, much, much easier to get them than other communities. Iyagiina, the sisters, weyba isla qumanyihiin. Just look at this thread. Shuud. No Soomaali sister would tolerate any jaamac giving her a kitaab for meherka. But to reverts who gave them kitaab for meher, no questions asked, oo sidii xaraash camal la iskugu dhiiboyaa, meher iyo soori iyo yaradba midkood haba sheegin. Plus xiriirka reerkeeda xataa waa laga goynaa, fully controlling her. Markee iswaashana (and in the end wey iswaaleysaa because waa Soomaaliyee oo xornimo kusoo koreenee), banaanka ayuu u soo tuuraa. Iyadoo ka shaleysay ayee reerkeeda orod iyo raaligelin ugu soo noqoneysaa. Brother I think you need to read my post above. Your post is filled with generalizations. You are just highlighting the 'problem' but you avoid to discuss the 'cause' or why this happens. As long we keep turning a blind eye to the 'whys' we will never move forward or make positive changes.

Chimera;869178 wrote: Juxa ' leave Narniah alone', what did I do? You said the following: ''Seriously though, our sisters nowadays want men who love the deen. That's why they marry reverts, so Somali guys need to get with the Quraan and start practising the deen more '' - You make the false claim that sisters only 'nowadays' want men who love deen, which is absurd because that has been a condition for marriage for at least a millenium. Why are you over analyzing everything I said. No. It's not the condition for marriage for everyone. FYI there are some Somalis who don't care about the deen at all, they just base their decision on wealth. All Somalis aren't practicing Muslims, some parents only care about the wealth/tribe of the suitor not necessarily his deen. You can find this unbelievable or turn a blind eye to it, if you like. - You insinuated that because they 'nowadays' want men who love deen, they have chosen reverts over Somali brothers, thereby indirectly stating that 'Somali men don't love their deen'. What is so shocking and unbelievable about that? There are Brothers who don't give a toss about religion, and in those instances yes some sisters have chosen to marry reverts in stead. Of course they could have looked for a more practicing Somali brother in the community but not every practicing Somali brother is necessarily 'marriage material'. Such matters are in ones fate, and not something we can question. We are not questioning here if Good Muslim Somali brothers exist, they certainly do exist. There are other important aspects of ones character that must be weighed before embarking on such a major decision such as marriage. This of course goes for reverts too, not every revert is marriage material. - Worse is the part where you claim Somali men need to pick up a book they have been studying for a millenium, and you had the nerve to call me patronizing? Some of them do need to pick up that book, no? Are you telling me every Somali guy on this planet is on the Deen? Like I said I can't speak for all Somalis, I can just speak about what I have experienced and personally encountered that's all. I don't want to get into too much detail about our brothers, cause no one is perfect at the end of the day but yes we do have some bad apples that need reforming. 1+1 = 2, if you claim 3, then I will correct you on it, there is absolutely no reason for you to become so angry when I do. Alright, fair enuff. People usually ignore people they dislike, and despite your fallacious arguments, I don't dislike you, in-fact you have created many interesting topics in the past. Just because I disagreed with you doesn't mean I dislike you too. Its one of my character flaws, but at the same it exposes non-sequiturs quite well in the opposite debator, so I guess its also a positive characteristic. I don't usually get into debates with people and now you know why, it's not something I'm good at. No it supports my case that we don't suffer competition when it comes to marriage. I see. I said your argument is bs, not you, but its clear I went to far considering your above furious reaction, so consider all I have posted irrelevant and non-applicable to you and your arguments. I felt like you were on a mission to have a go at me and were very harsh towards me at times. That's why I reacted that way, but I didn't mean to insult you like that. oba hiloowlow;869160 wrote: Cadaan is just hit and run material for me, somali girls for mustaqbal ,period. What makes you think you are deserving of a Somali girl with self-respect when you never safeguarded your own dignity and self respect? It doesn't work that way. In Islam men & women are equal when it comes to sin. So if you can hit n run, you might as well stick to the one you did that with as that's the person you deserve to be with according to the Quraan.

Chimera;868931 wrote: No you were taking a dump on 1/2 of a 20 million+ strong community, I would have replied the same way if some Farah praised Persian ladies as 'better muslims' than Somali sisters, while using the most ridiculous examples to support this rubbish statement. Its a fact that Somali men rank along side Turks, Persians, Arabs and Berbers as historic champions of Islam in their respective geographic spheres and beyond, Its a fact that Somali boys rank at the top of the international Quran recital competitions. Its a fact that Somali scholars both ancient and modern are referenced extensively in Islamic theology. Its amusing therefore to see you proclaim we got into our deen 'lately', where have you been the last 1000 years? Woaah Tell me something I don't know mr-thinks-he-know-it-all. I applaud you for really twisting everything I said. I never said anything about the whole Somali community at large. Omg, you are really coming across patronizing. The things you brought up are valid, but I never said anything against it. What is your freaking point? Irrelevant! My intention was not to defame the entire Somali community at large. I spoke of events and situations I personally have experienced in the communities I was brought up doesn't mean that I am hating on them. I never said the Somalis at large lack deen, or spoken about the history of Islam and the position of scholars in the Somali community, I respect these people and I'm aware of their existence. Having Indian girls follow you around in the mall and to your home doesn't equal my brother returning that same infatuation. His concept of Somali women consists of; hooyo, abaayo, ayeeyo, edo, and that little sister next door. If he reads a few more posts with the same crap you filled yours with, he might get the wrong opinion of Somali women, and that's a damn shame, because the majority doesn't harbour the ill will you project towards the other gender. Wait...I'm supposed to care? I dont! I don't give two flying hoots what you think. I'm not here to set a trend or have followers, except to be me, you don't like it, don't read my stuff, simple. I also don't appreciate your haughty self righteous tone that your swinging towards my direction, you need to turn that down a notch. Nothing you wrote was remotely true, secondly Somalis registered one of highest 'same ethnic group' marriages in the west, so its clearly you whose in denial . Thirdly, calm down, this is just a discussion, nobody is attacking you, but we will scrutinize bs when we see it, Irrelevant! ps; Talking about bs, you are the absolute epitome of bs, so why don't you scrutinize that, as it needs major scrutinizing.

Wadani;868622 wrote: Why the need to mention how white he is? Do u find white skin more appealing? If so, y? The advice u gave the poor chap is horrible (sorry for the harshness). First of all there is nothing Islamic about a thobe watsoever. It's a cultural garb of the Arabs worn by religious and non religious Muslim arabs alike and even christian and secularist arabs too. No different than the macawis for Somalis. Also, if becoming more of a wadaad is done with the intention of atrracting a potential mate, how Islamic is that?? [/b] You don't seem to have read my post properly:rolleyes:. The reason why I was stressing on the fact that he's so white is to refute this misperceived notion about Sisters wanting to marry any white Muslim that walks by. This brother in question was white too, but he felt like the Sisters in our community didn't pay him any attention like they do with his Revert counterparts. That's because he's not really a practicing Muslim. While the revert brothers are. I was showing you all an example and clear up the stereotype that's being tossed around on this thread. When I said wear the thobe, kofi, that was just me being silly/sarcastic. I know there are ignorant people who judge people on their appearance alone and will assume they're pious. I don' think that's right. The inward is as important; like does this person pray their 5 daily salah, avoid major sins, have a decent character, pay sadaqah, help the needy, is he kind to Allahs creatures etc?. Those are the essential factors that make a Good Muslim in my opinion, if one can add the sunnah clothing to match that's even better, good for them. The most important thing is that you wear modest clothing. What about the role of personality and personal characteristics which are independent of religiousity? Should they not be taken into consideration? Erm obviously, look up. Y does one need to forsake the dunya in order to attain akhira? Are they mutually exclusive? A lot of Somali guys don't want sisters who are easily impressed by superficial outward representations of piety, such as a beard or a khamiis. They want someone who values them for their hard work and ambition, generosity, bravery, kindness; in essence who they are as a person and not how they look as they walk out of the mosque When I say forsake the dunya obviously I don't mean that in the literal sense. I will explain what I meant by that before someone else assumes something else...(so madah hanun you somalis are). I meant that one should place more importance on the akhirah, as this world is temporary and the only thing we'll take with us is our deeds which will benefit us in our real home the (akhirah). Chimera the only reason you dislike my post is because you are in denial like the rest. To also say, that I might be pushing your brother towards the direction of non-Somali chicks simply because of a post I made on a forum 9when you clearly said he's already involved with Non Somali girls), is so absurd. Surely your brother can't be that naive. Nor am I ever that influential. So please stop blaming me for something your brother might or might not do. It's entirely his choice and has nothing to do with me nor anyone else. I haven't made up anything I wrote, it's all true, I'm not here to score brownie points. I'm sharing my perspective about the things I know, and what I personally have seen. Your experience might be different, to each their own. You all need to chill a lil and go easy with the attack. Blessed you claimed I lied, I think you shouldn't jump to conclusions, you don't know me, nor do you know where I'm coming. To accuse me of lying on such a personal level is a serious thing, you didn't have to do that. Malika, you are one of the sweestest Sister on this forum, thanks.❤ This is why I don't really feel part of this forum because of how the old timers here always make the new comers feel uncomfortable and even though I don't even post much the only time I do, I get so much negative feedback from the old timers here. It kinda makes it hard for people like me to come back here to post, there's no one to relate to, just a bunch of old farts discussing politics and angry accusatory non open minded folks who don't respect difference in views and belittle everything you say.

Madaxadeeg

Apophis;868201 wrote: I have to say I've been hearing this word being used as of late but before converts were called converts. You can also use the term Convert, there's nothing wrong with it. But the proper suitable term is Revert, as I have explained why in the above post. The Hadith: .Every child is born on Fitrah (natural disposition; or true faith of Islam to worship none but Allah) till his tongue expresses him (i.e. express his creed), thus his parents make him a Jew or a Christian or a Magian. [Related by Al-Bayhaqy and Al-Tabarany in Al-Mu`jam Al-Kabir]. Bluelicious;868198 wrote: Well said and true! People are stepping up their games. Lmao you made me laugh when you said '' I know many revert brothers who are *sigh* MashaAllah looking. *Faints* '' Lol hehe:p I can be a tad shallow:o

Apophis;868188 wrote: Why are converts called reverts? Very confusing. We believe in Islam when a child is born, it has with it a natural belief in God. This natural belief is called in Arabic the “Fitrah”. If the child were left alone, it would grow up aware of God in His oneness, but all children are affected by the pressures of their environment whether directly or indirectly. Hence when someone embraces Islam, he or she is coming back to his or her original faith- a real home coming which is why we call them reverts.

Bluelicious;867674 wrote: That is the biggest bullshit I ever heard.The fact that you are so secretive about it may suggest you do cry and don't want me to know. It's not that big of a deal. ps: Alpha'petty, can you stop calling me nariah or are you dyslexic or perhaps a lil slow? (No offence to anyone who's dyslexic).

I know many revert brothers who are *sigh* MashaAllah looking. *Faints* lol I know a Half Somali half Dutch brother, he's as white as it gets and so fit. When he confined in me why sister's aren't sending him marriage proposals like his revert counterparts, I told him to be a lil less fashionable and replace his jeans with thobes get a kofi, become a Wadad, be regular in his local mosque then watch get taken off that shelf faster than a white coated oreo. lol Seriously though, our sisters nowadays want men who love the deen. That's why they marry reverts, so Somali guys need to get with the Quraan and start practising the deen more. The Somali youth is all about deen. It's the older ones like men & women in their late twenties and whatnot who party, don't cover properly and just make all the Somalis look bad. From inside out, we don't just want a brother in a thobe, who cusses randomly, doesn't pray, who doesn't go to Jummah prayer. You gotta be the full package, basically. The youth doesn't have a good example unfortunately so who do we look up to? The prophet (saw) and the people who are nearest to the sunnah. Our parents (but you can't marry someone who's your parents age), the community whom they feel like shares the same qualities. That's why when they see a young man who fears Allah, is willing to forsake this dunya for the akhirah, they will pick him over the Somali guy who doesn't know anything about the deen. But mashaAllah I see a rise of Somali brothers on the deen lately, which is great mashaAllah. This will not only benefit themselves but it'll help them to possible secure their position and chance of impressing a good sister who's looking for a righteous brother. Lots of ramblings but hopefully you get my point Inshallah.

Asalamalaikum Share with me your favorite most heart touching Ayan/verse in the Holy Quraan. I know the Quraan is filled with so many that it's hard to pick a favorite, As all of the Quraan is beautiful word for word but there are certain ayahs that speak to you so personally and closely and move you to humility, making you shed tears. If you ever came across that Ayah, share so others can read it too. Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth, The parable of His Light is as if there were a niche, And within it a Lamp: The Lamp enclosed in Glass; The glass as it were a brilliant star; Lit from a blessed Tree, An Olive, neither of the East nor of the West, Whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it; Light upon Light! Allah doth set forth parables for men: and Allah doth know all things. surah 24:35 Al Nur (The Light) My Lord! Open up for me my heart. And ease for me my task. And untie the knot of my tongue. That they may understand my speech. Qur'an - 20:25-28

Aww how adorable! May Allah make their dreams come true ameen.

Malika have you seen -Dostana-? If you like comedy, -3 idi0ts- is so worth seeing too.

Witnesses described Yildirim walking into the village square, carrying the man's head by his hair, blood dripping on the ground. "Don't talk behind my back, don't play with my honor," Yildirim said to the men sitting in the coffee house on the square. "Here is the head of the man who played with my honor." SubhanaAllah, this reminds me of this proverb:| "The softness of a person's nature doesn't mean weakness because nothing is softer than water but its force can break the strongest Rocks." A woman is no different, specially a mother. I think she killed him because she wanted to protect her children. May Allah grant her patience and protect her from harm ameen. She's such an inspiration to many who have no strength or voice.

ElPunto;865223 wrote: After the first rape why didn't she go to the police? Because of this: Yildirim said Gider threatened her with a gun and said he would kill her children, ages 2 and 6, if she made any noise, according to the source.

(CNN) -- A woman in Turkey is awaiting trial after beheading a man who she says raped her repeatedly for months and is the father of her unborn child. Her lawyer says the woman killed the man to protect her honor. Nevin Yildirim, a 26-year-old mother of two, lives in a small village in southwestern Turkey. She said the man, Nurettin Gider, began the attacks a few days after her husband left in January for a seasonal job in another town, according to a source close to the case. Yildirim said Gider threatened her with a gun and said he would kill her children, ages 2 and 6, if she made any noise, according to the source. That was the first of repeated rapes over the next eight months, the source said. At one point, Yildirim said, Gider sneaked into her house while she was asleep and took pictures of her, the source said. One of the pictures shows her pregnant body. Gider threatened to publish the pictures if she didn't obey him, the source said. In small villages like hers, honor is held above all else, and women carry the burden of honor for their families. Pictures like those would have been devastating for Yildirim and her family and could have posed a danger. Pakistan: 'Honor' murderer boasts of triple killing On August 28, at least five months pregnant by a man who she said continued to rape her, Yildirim said she decided she had had enough. Gider was climbing up the back wall of her house. "I knew he was going to rape me again," she said at her preliminary hearing August 30. She said she grabbed her father-in-law's rifle that was hanging on the wall and she shot him. He tried to draw his gun and she fired again. "I chased him," she said. "He fell on the ground. He started cussing. I shot his sexual organ this time. He became quiet. I knew he was dead. I then cut his head off." Witnesses described Yildirim walking into the village square, carrying the man's head by his hair, blood dripping on the ground. "Don't talk behind my back, don't play with my honor," Yildirim said to the men sitting in the coffee house on the square. "Here is the head of the man who played with my honor." She threw Gider's head to the ground, the witnesses said. Video from Turkish broadcaster DHA, which arrived on the scene before the authorities, showed Gider's head on the ground. Witnesses called authorities and Yildirim was arrested. Gider was 35 and the father of two children, 15 and 9. He was married to an aunt of Yildirim's husband. Yildirim told her legal representative she regrets what happened, the source said. "I thought of reporting him to military police and to the district attorney, but this was going to mark me as a scorned woman," Yildirim said, according to the source. "Since I was going to get a bad reputation I decided to clean my honor and acted on killing him. I thought of suicide a lot but couldn't do it." Yildirim said she was worried people would judge her children because of what happened, the source said. "Now no one can call my children *******s," she said, according to the source. "I cleaned my honor. Everyone will call them the children of the woman who cleaned her honor." British court convicts parents in 'honor' murder The source said Yildirim went to a health clinic a while ago seeking an abortion, but health workers told her she was 14 weeks pregnant and abortion was not an option. In Turkey, abortion is allowed during the first 10 weeks of pregnancy, after which it is permitted only to save the life or health of the mother or in cases of fetal impairment, Human Rights Watch said. At her hearing, Yildirim said she doesn't want to keep the baby and that she is ready to die, the source said. The public prosecutor's office has ordered a medical examination to decide whether Yildirim may have an abortion and to assess her mental stability, the source said. Yildirim's father, Zekeriya Yildiz, told DHA his daughter did not report the alleged abuse to anyone in the family. "If she would have told us, we would have taken other precautions," he said. Yildirim is in the local jail while she awaits trial. In a report last year, Human Rights Watch decried gaps in Turkish law that it said leave women and girls unprotected from domestic abuse. Some 42% of women older than 15 in Turkey and 47% of rural women have experienced physical or sexual violence at the hands of a husband or partner at some point in their lives, the group said. "She has lived through a terrible trauma. She must be charged with self-defense," said Gursel Oztunali Kayir, a sociologist at Akdeniz University and a member of Antalya Women Support Organization. http://edition.cnn.com/2012/09/05/world/europe/turkey-rape-beheading/

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