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cynical lady

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NGONGE   

^^ There is nothing creepy in Somali context. In these things, it's all systems go. :D

 

I remember phoning a friend's house only for my other friend to pick up the phone. After greating and what not, I ask him where the "man of the house" is and he replies that he's not in. So, of course, being a "carab" as Ibti says, I ask the obvious question "oo haduu maqanahay, adiga maxa meesha ku dhigay"?..the reply was "oh I'm waiting for him to come home, he'll be here in an hour". I couldn't push it any further but I gave him a long lecture the next time I met him.

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NGONGE   

^^ It's about two friends of mine. One married and one isn't. I phone the married one's house and the unmarried one picks up. The married one is not even home yet this guy is sitting in his house, drinking his tea and chatting to his wife for close to two hours. Because for Somalis (as Ibti says) it's ok!

 

Understand?

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NGONGE   

^^ That's what you say, but you're fish. So your'e not better than me when it comes to what is ok in the Somali context. Plus, they're all related anyway (inadeerka from the side of your aunties fifth cousin or soemthing). :D :D

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underdog   

In this age of hyper-techno connectivity with all the mobiles, facetime, twitter, skype, smoke-signals, carrier pigeons it is practically impossible to get to someones door to find out he's not home. even if you scheduled to meet there and you get to your married friend's crib early, YOU WAIT outside in the cold/rain/snow until the man of the house is home.

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Ibtisam   

North and Apo: Really I am surprised.

 

I think Somalis generally do not have any boundaries- particularly compared to the Arabs in gender relations. I find the none suspicious, laid back trust nature of Somalis wonderful. It always means there are no awkwardness or formalities in gender relations (unless it is politics or business). I think it undermines people that people are automatically suspicious and wicked about gender relations. Of course already there are lots of stories about affairs and nin naag lagal baxey by his friend so I expect this traditional open boards changing.

 

Growing up, we always had people round the house, all my uncle seamen friends use to chill at the house even when my uncle was out of country and travelling. Many of them did not have families and my edo use to cook them food and endless tea I was forced to make.

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N.O.R.F   

^Thats slightly different. Oldmen visiting when the old man is away and having a meal etc laakin what Ngonge described (friend waiting for friend in his house) is a no no. Nothing to do with suspicion.

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Ibtisam   

North: HOW is it different?- they were his friends, not waiting for him but just hanging around his house, eating food and chatting. At least this one has an excuse- waiting for his friend. Or are you saying when you are OLD, it will be okay?

 

I think you are being unreasonable- all those years hanging around Arabs and Hollywood has influenced you. :D :D

 

I guess it is pointless to ask IF she can have HER friends (male) over unless you are sitting there with a stick :P

 

P.s. I am well aware the religious ruling.

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N.O.R.F   

Odayaayshu are different and circustances dictated they went around for a chat and a meal at their friend's house as they were single and their friend was looking after them.

 

Religion yes but, in the Somali sense, waa ceeb :D

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Asc, even if Norf was ok with it, how would a friend feel at ease chatting and having tea with the wife. It's less awkward if it's business dealing and others are around (typical somali home back home).

 

I see even Ngonge joins an ex sega megadrive fan in conservatism :D

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Ibtisam   

Their friend maba jooga.

 

What you are basically saying is that old men can be trusted to stay around your family but your young friend cannot be. NOW that is ceeb. Wax lala saxibo maa tihiid- :P

 

We will agree to disagree. I think waxaan wa overrated and it comes down to basic trust.

 

Abu- in the Somali context they are hardly going to be alone sitting in a house- there are always at least 5 other running around- kids, relatives, friends, parents etc.

 

Maybe he gets on with his friend wife- most Somalis have tons to discuss :D

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Haatu   

NGONGE;916326 wrote:
^^ It's about two friends of mine. One married and one isn't. I phone the married one's house and the unmarried one picks up. The married one is not even home yet this guy is sitting in his house, drinking his tea and chatting to his wife for close to two hours. Because for Somalis (as Ibti says) it's ok!

 

Understand?

It's perfectly OK in the Somali sense if the wife knows him. Weliba shah baa loo kariyaa oo waa loo sii sheekeeyaa, siiba haddii qaraabo la yahey.

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Ibti, ignoring human nature and biology is never helpful, trust is good but no temptation is even better; it's awkward too no.

 

So the wife is well rounded and can discuss varied subjects well; even more dangerous if you ask me :D , what's next, let's exchange facebooks to carry on (the new scandal pipeline, hees ay u qaadeen) :D

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