Muna's Murder

[NGONGE]

As he staggered across the uneven street, drunken Abdi stumbled and fell down. It took him an eternity to get back on his feet but, when he finally did, he started swearing and flailing his arms around. He was swearing at the body of the woman on the floor. He kicked her once and told her to carefully choose her sleeping quarters in future. She didn’t make a sound. He kicked her again and puffed his chest up as he walked away muttering to himself about women being like old carpets (needing to be kicked clean every once in a while)!

 

It was two in the morning and most of the city was already fast asleep. But Abdi was drunk and oblivious of time. He wanted a cigarette and knew the only person kind enough to give him one was toothless Ali. Abdi slowly walked towards the khat hut where Ali and a couple of his companions were sat chewing. He started shouting to them from a distance and asking them for a cigarette. Ali came out and, in a sort of suppressed scream, told him to keep his voice down.

 

Abdi: Why should I keep my voice down?

 

Ali: You’ll wake the entire city up, my friend. Stop shouting.

 

Abdi: Ok. But you have to promise you will give me a cigarette.

 

Ali: Get here first and we’ll talk about it.

 

Abdi: You think you can trick me? Say you will give me a cigarette and I will come.

 

Ali: Ok. Don’t come. Just go away.

 

Abdi (at the top of his voice): You’re my only friend in this whole wide world and you can’t spare me one single cigarette? Woe is me! Woe is me! Woe is me!

 

Ali: OK. OK! Come here quietly and I promise to give you whatever you want. Just stop screaming.

 

Abdi: I love you more than I love my mother, man.

 

Ali: Shuuush, you noisy imbecile.

 

Abdi: You are the best man in the whole city, man. THE BEST.

 

Ali: Yes. Ok. Just get here quick and stop staggering like a drunk. Hmm! Are you drunk?

 

Abdi: I quit drinking a long time ago, man. It used to give me constipation.

 

Ali (muttering to himself): I wish your mouth would suffer the same malady.

 

Abdi (getting closer): Aha! Here you are. My friend, my best ever friend! A man amongst men. A king amongst chewers. My cousin. My kinsman. My hero.

 

Ali: Stop all that NOW. Here is your cigarette, you darn alcoholic.

 

 

Abdi: I quit drinking, man. I am as clean as a Mullah.

 

Ali: You smell and look drunk to me.

 

Abdi: No. No. These are the remnants of my former drinking days.

 

Ali: Give me my cigarette back, you lair!

 

Abdi: I am not lying, brother. I am telling the honest truth.

 

Ali: You are drunk and you can’t even stand straight.

 

Abdi: YES I CAN! Look!

 

Abdi attempts to stand to attention in the style of a soldier but loses his footing and falls down.

 

Ali: Give me my cigarette back, you disgusting alcoholic. Now go away and never return.

 

Abdi staggers to his feet and mumbles all manner of insults and swear words at Ali and all those that chew khat. He starts walking away and shouting that, one day, Ali will need his help and he will remind him of this day. He suddenly breaks into song and sways his way home. Once in the house, he wobbles his way to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water but forgets and decides to sleep on the kitchen floor.

 

He hears his mother’s voice telling him to get up and go sleep in the bedroom. She tells him it’s already morning and she needs to use the kitchen. She moans and wails about her embarrassing drunk son and the shame he brings to the family. But Abdi tries to ignore her and carry on sleeping. She leaves him and goes to open the front door. Abdi curls up and tries to return to the sweet dream he was having. He suddenly feels a real sharp pain travelling through his ribs all the way to his chest. He sits up and slowly opens his eyes. Someone slaps him on the face and he blacks out for a split second. As he starts shouting to his mother to stop hitting him he receives another slap on the face. He starts shouting STOP! He looks up and blearily sees a group of four men standing over him! He tries to speak but receives yet another slap. He instantly sobers up!

 

Policeman: Are you Abdi?

 

Abdi: Yes. Who are you?

 

Policeman: I am the angel of death and I have come to get you.

 

Abdi: What do you want from me?

 

Policeman: You’ll find out once we get to the station. Get up!

 

Abdi: I quit drinking, sir. I swear I quit. I will never drink again.

 

Policeman: Stop talking and get up.

 

Abdi: My mother hates me. Don’t believe a word she says. She hates me. She is actually not my real mother. She is only my father’s wife.

 

Policeman: Are you going to get up or should I slap you again?

 

Abdi: Ok. Ok. Don’t slap me please.

 

Abdi gets up and gets dragged away by the four policemen. They take him to a police station and dump him in a dirty cell. All the while, he protests his innocence and tells them that he will never touch a drop ever again.

 

An hour later, and just as he got used to his cell and fell asleep whilst leaning on the dirty wall, he feels a kick against his shin and hears someone ordering him to get up. He slowly staggers to his feet and gets dragged to a shabby office where he gets pushed into an empty seat opposite a growling senior police officer.

 

Officer: So they brought you, huh?

 

Abdi: Who? What? Where? What is going on?

 

Officer: Shut UP! I ask the questions here.

 

Abdi: What questions?

 

Officer: I told you to Shut UP. Hmmm! What is your full name?

 

Abdi does not reply.

 

Officer: Did you not hear the question? ANSWER ME!

 

Abdi: But you told me to shut up.

 

Officer: Don’t get smart with me. Tell me your name.

 

Abdi: My name is Abdi.

 

Officer: FULL NAME!

 

Abdi: Abdulnasir Abdulqadir Abdullahi

 

Officer: How old are you?

 

Abdi: I am twenty-five, I’ll be twenty-six next week.

 

Officer: SHUT UP! Where do you work?

 

Abdi does not reply.

 

Officer getting up and slapping Abdi on the back of the head: Did you not hear my question?

 

Abdi: You keep telling me to shut up, sir.

 

Officer: Just answer the questions I ask you and do not add anything that you were not asked.

 

Abdi: Ok.

 

Officer: Where do you work?

 

Abdi: I don’t have a job.

 

Officer: Where were you last night?

 

Abdi: Everywhere.

 

Officer: Be more specific, you nitwit.

 

Abdi: If you tell me what it is exactly you want from me I may be able to answer you better, sir.

 

Officer: You want to know why you are here? Are you trying to tell me you don’t know?

 

Abdi: How would I know? All I got from you guys are beatings and orders. Nobody told me anything.

 

Officer: You are a suspect in a murder case. We have witnesses and your fingerprints all over the victim’s body.

 

Abdi: What victim? What witnesses? I did not kill anyone.

 

Officer: That is for us to decide. Now tell me where were you last night.

 

Abdi: Ok. I am going to be honest with you and tell you the whole truth.

 

Officer: Good. Begin....

 

Abdi: I left home at seven in the evening and went to my friend’s house. I had some money that I stole from my mother’s purse. I was going to buy myself some spirits and drink myself into a coma.

 

Officer: What is your friend’s name?

 

Abdi: Two Swords! Saeed, two swords.

 

Officer: Continue..

 

Abdi: We bought some drink with the money and went to visit some girls he knew. I cannot remember what time I left them. I can only remember visiting toothless Ali and having an argument with him over a cigarette!

 

 

Officer: You mean you were too drunk to remember?

 

Abdi: Yes. But I didn’t kill anybody, sir.

 

Officer: Do you know a woman called Muna Xaaji?

 

Abdi: The one who sold the pancakes?

 

Officer: Yes. Her. How long did you know her for?

 

Abdi: I used to buy stuff from her.

 

Officer: What else? Did you two have a relationship?

 

Abdi: No. She’s not related to me.

 

Officer: I meant, was she your woman, you imbecile?

 

Abdi: Muna? Pancake Muna? Hahaha

 

Officer: SHUT UP!

 

 

To be continued......

[Nin-Yaaban]

Another reason why alcohol isn't the thing for Somalis, or for any1 else.

[Salma]

CSI Somali LOL

 

The suspect is innocent till bla bla bla

[Salma]

Rptd. Sorry my PC is going crazy

[Nin-Yaaban]

It's manslaughter and not a Murder if you kill someone under the influence.

[Paragon]

I have one issue to raise: why do you use Ali in your many short stories? :mad: Can't you leave him alone? Please?

[Ibtisam]

^^^LOOOL. Somali Ali's always do the worse crimes and cause trouble. I think there is a reason why somalis name their trouble childs Ali

[Paragon]

OK. I was in the firing line. I had to. I mean I had to do what I did here.

 

PS: I actually enjoyed that story above. NGONGE and his little stories...one is bound to wonder does NGONGE sleep walking at night and encouter his characters?

[Ibtisam]

^^^^ :rolleyes: Just stating the obvious.

[Paragon]

I said nothing. That's right. Nothing.

[Ibtisam]

Something was here before, then it was times-up. Now it is empty.

[Ibtisam]

^^^No, dude you damn Somali! your make it sound like I said I collapsed or something. Iissh, now go back and delet all this, before ppl see it. :cool:

[Paragon]

Delete it all? On one condition. Delet yours first.

[Ibtisam]

I did delet mine, are you not wearing your ookiyaal today?

[Paragon]

^Took me sometime to find it but got it now. I must go to specsavers again, I suppose.