Maymuunah Posted April 30, 2004 Guys what advice would you have given to this girl. she is a friend of mine, and she asked me for some advice but I had no any other better place to turn than somaliaonline Nomads..you guys are intelligent..grownups and i guess very religious too..so please do give your smart shot here cause a friend of mine is indeed in need. " I was a member in a website and I met a decent young man.I chatted with him for quite sometime till our conversations deepened.the guy then fell in love with me terribly but considering the circumstances I was in at that moment, I was making sure not fall in love with him in return. To be frankly, he was a very decent young man.the best of the best, very quiet, shy, respectiful and religious. but for me, I was feelig pain in the butt as I knew I had nothing for this guy and feeling guilt of what I was doing. then I decided to find a way out and not broke this young man's heart into pieces. I had a very nice friend of mine whom we honestly shared everything together. I decided to contact her and letting her know the precious news I had in store for her.hearing the news or should I say my plan she seemed okey with it since she didn't had a relationship with a guy at that moment. she wasn't someone who was the kinda shy girls and said to me "get it on girl, let me meet him". I then gave her all his information and emails plus his pictures that he had sent to me. she started contancting him through my emails and usrnames sending her pictures to him and boy did he fell in love with them or what. the guy got crazy over her pictures.I pledged with her not tell him anything about me and she agreed, but since then I who had started this hook up thing is feeling guilty about what I had did. I feel I betrayed him someway. there is not a day that passes that I am not thinking about it, and always afraid what their future might hold. thinking will she tell him? what if she does how is he gonna see you then. I am loosing my mind truely and I am feeling I had did somethiing that no matter what excuses I give no one can turn it back. Now I have two options to follow my heart, and tell him whatever that had happened or to hold my peace forever" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pacifist Posted April 30, 2004 salaam "O You who believe! Have taqwa with Allah, and be among the truthful." (Surat al- Tawbah:119) to deceive the believers. If you are in a situation that would cause you to lie, avoid doing so, and remember the words of Abu Sufyaan before Heracles when he was asked about the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam) and he [latter narrated to Muhammad sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam], "I swear by Allah, if I was sure that they would not have transmitted a lie from me, I would have lied about you." [bukhari] This man, who was an idolater at the time, avoided lying out of fear that his lying would be transmitted, or that he would be insulted some day because of it. Elegant sweet words are not most important - even if they are required - more important is truthfulness, that he is in harmony with himself, and his speech comes from the heart. Long ago it was said: "If a word comes from the heart it will land in the heart... and if it comes from the tongue it will not even pass the ears!!" i hope this helps like its said truth shall set you free. good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted April 30, 2004 Salaam brother The first place you thought of was SOL ahhhhh well no pressure then... Ok to tell you the truth i was expecting a bit more, I thought she was going to begin having feelins for the guy or something...It doesn't seem like a great betrayal to me...especially since he is in love with the second girl now...seems like the guy has a whole lotta love...I don't really understand why the girl is so distressed, this is what she planned and wanted it seems as if things have worked out the way she wanted. I guess if they had quite intimate converstaions and she had revealed things about herself and vice versa then its quite an awkward situation. Ok perhaps its not as simplistic as i first thought...But ok it's not an ideal situation but if she steps backs and looks at the big picture, her friend and this guy are getting alone, hopefully getting married, she is out the picture, the past is the past, I would say to her don't say anything, perhaps this is the way things were mearnt to be. So just get on with life, don't say anything and make dua for yourself and them two. Say to her stop stressing sis... maybe you making a mountain out of a mole hole? is that right? well lets say blowing things outa proportion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted April 30, 2004 Chubacka, LoL @ 'brother'...Sundus is a girl, I think. Anyways, I find the girl in question's actions to be very unethical. She should have been straight with him from the beginning. I'm not sure about her sudden pangs of remorse...why now? Especially when the guy seems to really like the other girl's pictures? What's in it for her to reveal the truth at this point, if it isnt to let him kno, that the other girl isnt the personality he originally fell in love with? Maybe jealousy? :confused: I dont know what to advice. I suppose it would be better if they both told him the truth now, so he can make an informed decision as to who he wants to pursue. Its bound to come out anyways. Sooner or later... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HONEY-D Posted April 30, 2004 You know your story reminds of a movie cant remember the name its about a gal who meets a guy through radio talk show which she was hosting but because of her low self steem she asks her friend (uma Thurman) to pretend to be her when the guy meets UMa he falls in love with her immediately. I think your friend should definetely see that movie. She should've told him the first time her friend met the guy but now that everything is going smooth for them i dont see why she should spoil it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted May 1, 2004 Barwaaqo, Sundus IS a girl's name. Honey-D, I think you're talking about the movie "Cat's and Dogs". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent-sistah Posted May 1, 2004 unless your friend wants the boy/man for herself... i suggest she keeps her 'guilt' to herself....i think she should keep her trap shut,,, since everything is going jiggy why spoilt it for your friend and the guy,,,,,,they both like eachother,,,so let them get on with it! plus....i dont think the other girlfriend would talk .....i mean she has too much to loose if she tells the boy she has now fallen for that she had decieved him.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HONEY-D Posted May 1, 2004 Honey-D, I think you're talking about the movie "Cat's and Dogs". Thats the name thanks DA. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bambina Posted May 1, 2004 Salam Alaykum , Sundus , your friend really did a wrong thing by lying to him , its very unethical.Wouldnt it have been easier if she had told him since the beginning that she had no feelings for him? But then again , if she truly cares about him this time she shouldnt say anything to him , because its one thing not to tell someone that you dont love him ,but it would be worse if he knows that the woman he likes is not the same.If he knows the truth , he might feel as if they were playing some sick jokes on him. :cool: "Silence is gold" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7_steps_2_Heaven Posted May 1, 2004 sundus, what ur friend did was cruel...you dont do that to people. she wouldnt want to be treated that way so y the heck did she treat him that way? sis, let ur friend deal with it..maybe she is jealous from her friend, i think she is falling for him. i dont mean to be harsh but hey mac sonkor caleen shaahi. sundus iska sabir ku dheh...and tell her to be happy for this other girl. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
