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Everything posted by beeteljuice

  1. dude what is the man speaking?
  2. Everyone trys to make themselves lighter but let me tell u the real insult..when an 8 yr old somalian boy yells after u "diana diana diana" its a beauty cream to make yourself lighter and boy was i insulted... i get my skin color from my momma thank u very much! dude was a hater just because hes sudanse looking *sniff sniff*
  3. ^^^lol y'all crack me up this reminds me of the weaveonce song
  4. hahaha i heard that but instead of a job interview they were at the border
  5. wow thats funny..also deranged
  6. i love the last one...thats funny
  7. to me..its how u feel on the inside if it feels right...then you will know corny huh?
  8. i have 3 cousins in australia and as i know their the biggest *****es in the whole world wonder if they changed? but my aunt is lovely
  9. A young couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife sliced her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say, "Come on in." When they opened the door, they saw glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window?" The husband began to apologize, but the man cut him off, "Actually, I want to thank you, I'm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what I'd like to do is give each of you one wish, and I'll keep last one for myself." "Fantastic!" said the husband. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie, "it's the least I can do." "I want a house in every country in the world," said the wife. "Consider it done," said the genie, "and now for my wish. Because I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex in a really long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife." The husband looked over at his wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses...If you don't mind honey, I don't either." The wife agreed. The genie took her upstairs and ravished her for 3 hours. After he was through, the genie looked at the wife and asked, "How old is you husband, anyway?" "Twenty-five," said the wife. "And he still believes in genies?"
  10. 2 women in one night? damn thats crazy
  11. other then that im totally illirate to sports
  12. boxing cool i can deal with that lets see i was watching the mohamed ali documentary for like the 3rd time this weekend pretty amazing guy
  13. well i've met like 3 ppl that look like me so i give up every light skinned somali girl with glasses is obviously my me they have a similar resemblence to me but not like omg thats your twin......their was one girl who looked like me called hamda and we looked alike i will actually say that but then over the years i started changing and now im like a foot taller then her and more grown up the funny thing was that over the summer we went to dairy queen and if u had a twin u got a fudge sundae so we went and told them we were faternal twins and we actually got the sundaes!!!
  14. my family would let me marry someone not somali as long as hes "believes in allah and is a muslim" they dont care
  15. wow thats funny cuz my familys trying to make me rock short hair now but i wanna grow it to my butt
  16. Circumcised A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school." KIDS ; DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM???
  17. umm pucca this is how it goes theirs nothing bout a leggy blonde sorry The man was in a ship that was wrecked on a desert island. When there was no food left, another passenger brought what he said was abalone but was really part of the man's wife (who had died in the wreck). The man suspects something fishy, so when they finally return to civilization, he orders abalone, realizes that what he ate before was his wife, and kills himself. (In a slight variant, from Stories With Holes, he simply faints rather than killing himself.)
  18. whats tlc? i've always wondered
  19. yup your right! did u get that off the internet?
  20. Originally posted by Lieutenant Xalane: Big cheeks sounds good. yea well i already have high cheekbones but i've lost the weight