JUST? I would say that love was pretty important. My mother married my dad when he was broke *** while she had MP sons and Business men sons after her, who had it 'all'because she loved him. 8 kids later they still have eyes only for one another. Its about whether he has potential. Marrige isnt about meeting a 'settled' person, its about setteling together in life and making each others dreams come true and facing life's challenges TOGETHER. Even if he was loded , money can always run out. Thats about it...

I doubt this report's relevance and validity. However, I must agree with the girls who are smart enough to say a balance is needed. There is nothing wrong with raising kids and staying home. I personally would not mind, and just because you take a couple of years out of your career life doesn't mean you are a slave or have no rights. Where I work, there is a huge shopping centre on basement level, during lunch hour you see all the men sitting in cafes, what are the women doing? Running around buying groceries, dry cleaning, picking up prescriptions etc. A woman who sits on the desk opposite me was telling me about how she stays up sometimes at 1 or 2am doing her ironing.(She has 3 boys) Ya Allah, ya cadaabe? Why would anyone have children only for others to raise them? You will end up with the current system where kids hardly know their parents there is a lot of resentment and they come round twice a year for EID. Resentful empty shells. Anyway, WHO MADE MAN THE STANDARD? Why cant you be a housewife and be respected?

I almsot fell of my chair, these type of ppl don't exist, they are a fiction of crazed white men's imagination.

GOD ALLMIGHTY is the Judge of all Judges and the day will come when no silk rope, nor crown nor passport will protect you from his punishment. May Allah rest their souls, guilty or innocent. I was planning a holiday to Dubai,Spain is looking far more appealing now... Isn't it sad when half arab people rally for the same arabs who refer to them as 'Abdi's' (or slaves)? I have seen it so many times it's laughable.

I'm probably way late with this but just in case you guys in the UK haven't heard of it yet, there is a 'new' channel on sky (836) called Islam Channel and it's very good. It's a free channel.

If you are serious, why don't you just bloody get on with it? It's as if you are waiting for someone to stop you or chastise you. Cheating somali men, there is nothing new here... As to your question of temptation, you wouldn't be tempted if you took your wife and actually made it into a romantic holiday, but that would be too 'manly' for you.

My parents were in Germany at the time with my 2 younger sisters and brother because my dad needed to see a specialist doctor.My oldest sister and I stayed behind with our grandmother. It was all meant to be a temporary arrangement. One ordinary afternoon after school, I was in year 2, my uncle comes home holding my cousin who was about 20 at the time by the arm, he was shouting and there was so much commotion. I thought he must be in a real bit of trouble if my uncle is shouting like that but I later saw his whole arm was bleeding and he was hit by a bullet. A doc came to see him and my aunt who was a nurse was tending to him. Things got really wierd during that week, there was curfew that seemed to be getting earlier every day. The only fear I felt was that when one day my aunt told me to get dhuxul (coal) from the neighbours house after curfew.I had overheard adults talking about what would happen to people who were out after that time. I ran with all my might, got the coal and ran back but on the way back only to see some soldier who told me to go home immediatley as I was about to enter our house. I 'll never forget that feeling. Some time soon after this I was woken at 4 am by my aunt who gave me and my sister a shower and told us we were going on holiday to join our parents in Germany. I was complaing I didnt say bye to any of my friends. On the way to the aiport we were stopped by some soldiers who demanded to see our 'papers' but fortunately we escaped because my uncle who was driving us was of the 'right clan'. And thats all I remember, luckily I have not witnessed any horror or lost immediate family members, thank GOD. (There were funny times though like when my aunt dressed in my dad's military outfit to scare my cousin , who unfortunately ripped open the dressing on his wound to appear uninjured! Apparentlt the gov was collecting people who were part of the uprising.)

Even if the whole of humanity agreed with him, he would still be facing Allah's judgment, and last I checked pre-maritial sex did not come under killing someone in the name of Islam.

You make good points but life is already a hard test why would anyone choose a life wich tests us even more? And don't say to please Allah because Allah has given us a choice. Like you said, a marrige between two people is hard enough work, how much harder will it be when it is between 3,4,or 5? I like a peaceful life not one riddeled with stresses one can avoid.

I think what this organisation is suggesting isn't something that will work for everyone, but for those who are happy to share that is good for them. HOWEVER, what they forget is that we are mere mortals, not prophets or angels. There was a reason only certain people were chosen to be prophets. The life they are painting would only work for people with perfect iman, perfect patience, perfect sense of humanity and charity. That is not the reality. The truth is there are not many people who wouldn't make a mess out of such a union. Better to stay single and grow into a spinster. Maybe some of us where destined to be alone forever.

Sheyhem, the term 'used' is disrespectful. A human being does not have sell by date. A divorcee would be a much better term. It has nothing to do with political correctness, rather the word 'used' invokes negative connotations. So by having children and being married a woman becomes 'used' and no longer in her original form? You have to be kidding me...Garoob as well, why is it that all terms reffering to single mothers in our culture are negative? Whilst single fathers are just men with previous families. To the person who suggested allowing their husband to marry a so called single mum, you must be joking, no amount of suffering will incline me to share.

I for one thing its a good idea, its about time people started associating technology, modernism and brains with the Middle East, as opposed to all the negativity of this part of the world. We have no idea of exactly how much these ppl spend on poor muslims. It is not a crime to have money. Secondly, human beings are not SAINTS or appointed prohphets (at least in our time).

I think a good topic to discuss would also be 'how effective are Madrassas or Dhugsi as we call it'? This is not a problem that affects just our parents but us as well as no doubt many of you have younger siblings. Most parents feel their religious duty is over when they send their children to saturday classes. Firstly, parents that I know concentrate on the pysical well being of their children, eg. are they eating well, then they concentrate on their school work, then some parents send their kids to Madrassa. The problem about most Madrassas is that they help kids to memorize the Koran which is a good thing. However, they do not actually EXPLAIN how the deen should be followed. What is the point of memorization without practicing what you memorize or even understanding it? The solution we found (me+siblings) is that we have Sat morning club where we teach all our (9) cousins and siblings about their religion in English, with quizzes and prizes etc. This way they can defend their religion (which is constantly under attack) and affirm faith in their hearts. So my point is, children should be teached in whatever language they are comfortable in. Secondly, I think its about time we stop patronizing people who find Somali difficult and start teaching them. Hasna , very good topics sis. I too am in your field.

AJ, desperation may be the case or simple curiosity to get away.

When will people realize that you CANNOT buy human beings. This is like licenced prostitution. Show a woman love and she will follow you to the ends of the world, but don't expect to purchase someone's soul with a ticket to US/Europe and a furnished apartment, how cheap can you get.

Thanks for the response, I will keep you all posted.

Whatever you want to wear, us long as its smart and preferably glamorous. Ameenah, I have heard of the SSA and have been to one or two of their meetings when I was a student. The problem is that a)students just don't have the time to plan an event on the scale such as this and b) they are broke. No offence but we have all been there (or will be there). So I am trying to get the effort of those who have more time to participate, without shutting out students. By all means those students who have the time are welcome and needed. As for speaker, no more than one and then 2 hosts max, the whole aim of the event is to donate money and entertain. I was thinking more along the lines of the Islamic new year in terms of the date, which is in Feb., but on second though it may need more promotion and planning. So perhaps we may indeed be looking at June, but I rather like the idea of a May Ball. We ll see how it works out. I still don't have people wiling to help organize this event...put your time where your mouth is???

The Guardian newspaper run a special report on Britsh Muslims today, i thought it was really interesting. It's also online at www.guardian.co.uk

Thanks for the response, but like I said the idea is in its infancy. I cannot estimate anything because I have not got an idea of how many people would be interested. Besides, the donation on the night would be optional, but the main idea was that a % of the ticket price would most definately go towards a somali charity. Anyone who would like to take part could PM me. Maybe we can find a bunch of ppl who are willing to help organise it. I know how our culture functions so you should all start off with a good ressitance to pessimisim.

Hello everyone, I was reading a copy of 'HELLO' magazine today during my lunch hour, nothing particularly new or fascinating. So there I am reading along when I come across a party cover of Tatler’s Little Black Book Party, the idea behind it is to introduce young rich spoiled brats to other eligible young rich spoiled brats (heiresses, lords etc. If they have trouble meeting people then God help the rest). Anyway, I read along and became increasingly envious that they had a respectable fun place to meet other like minded people. I thought back to comments made by my girlfriends complaining about how they are never exposed to situations where they can meet like-minded men I mean weddings/ruwayads and clubs are hardly places one can have a decent conversation. So I was thinking how fab it would be if we had a nice respectable annual party for fellow like minded Somali professionals and hard working young men and women alike. That was my first thought. This would be an all out 'do', I mean black ties, glittering jewellery and evening dresses/diracs. Entertainment, full course dinner and coffe/coversation area for those who are not into music. I thought some more it did not somehow seem eligible enough, a party just to meet other people. I had the idea that we could donate some of the money from the tickets as well as taking any donations offered on the night. If they were reasonably priced, a certain percentage could go towards respected and registered Somali charity each year (and there are good ones out there eg. sending books back home for schools). We could invite prominent members of the Somali community, like journalists/poets/musicians etc. as guests of honours, and while it is a Somali event we could nonetheless invite any other guests of honours who would be willing to donate. It would be strictly for over 18 year olds (or better yet 20)and up to 35. It would be without the fights and the overcrowding. Am I getting ahead of myself or is anyone else interested? Your opinions would be valued. This is just an idea and I need the machinery to make it come to life. It would need planners and organisers on a big scale. Especially if you are in London, if you are not your comments are still valued but organise your own . I'm listening, or more like reading...

Channel 'Coco' and Christian Dior 'J'dore'. But you would have to come real close to get a wiff because there is no need for free advertisements, perfumes are personal...

The problem is ppl plan weddings they cannot afford. How many couples have you seen spending thousnad of £s on wedding and still live with the girl's or guy's family? Stress is already a problem before they have even been married for a year. A white wedding with all the do is terribly boring, especially an imitated one. I always fancied a red dress...

lol diamante, deep down shaydamad indeed, thats quiet diturbing, as if it's speaking to me...

lol@Og Girl, I agree. You can't win either way, and when Somali girls go off with westeners these guys grumple some more. Hey I don't think any girl would complain if money is being spend on her and her home and she wouldn't need to work 9-5 and do the housework anyway on top of that, because , let's not fool ourselfs, just because more women than ever work does not mean housework and child-work are shared. And that's that.

My dream job is to become a bestselling (fiction)author. Or more like have the work I have published .