Abdinuur Posted January 19, 2004 Interact with people more often. Say hi to strangers....not really strangers...like our Muslim community. The more you speak with people, the more your confidence level increases in interacting with others. And if you like somebody...get physical with it...for instance...wrestle...I dont know if you can but try...that can also boost your confidence level. One Word Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ijabo Posted January 20, 2004 Ya some of ur opinions were really helpfull like urs rudy - many thnx. My shyness definitely does not stem out of unassertiveness or lack of confidence - couldn't u like tell by my seemingly contreversial post on 'In the defence of...(ya i think we know where that one goes lol lol) But my shyness only comes out, like so unexpectedly and intensely , when i meet i guy that i kinda respect and like. I also get shy when i meet elders - i dont talk that much and all but thats like for anybody. What im talking about is this flush of 'OH MY GOD HE'S LOOKING AT AND SO I NEED TO FLEE RIGHT NOW BEFORE HE COMES OVER' , kinda thing and i do seriously flee. Its just so ridiculous. ya ok its a good thing, but im not feeling that kinda consellation right now cos as i said i do miss chances. Its that kinda of a problem - ie in terms of meeting new plp. Thats all. Your views have encouraged me a little - although a little of 'ya its a great thing to be shy' and more of 'here this is what ya do about it ' maybe would have helped. Like what A REVELATION - i never knew guys liked shy girls - thats a new piece of information right there. peace - lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted January 20, 2004 What im talking about is this flush of 'OH MY GOD HE'S LOOKING AT AND SO I NEED TO FLEE RIGHT NOW BEFORE HE COMES OVER' , kinda thing and i do seriously flee. Its just so ridiculous. lol it is good thing, guys respect that, but then again the right guy would take that shyness away and make ya feel comfortable when ur around him,,,,,,, need any help, holla atcha boy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SomeAlien Posted January 20, 2004 ^^^so guys like that? im in the same boat as sister iijabo, although i border on unassertiveness. so far, i think i give the impression to people that im ****** (mostly my parents contemporaries, i stutter when i speak somali), or incredibly weird in an anti-social way. i hate meeting new people, and i cant remember the last guy i had a crush on but yeah, it pretty much consisted of me leaving the room whenever i was in the same room as him.i dont know, for me its an incredibly frustrating character trait, you dont feel so much "feminine and coy" as some of you guys seem to think, but more like a social oddball. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted January 20, 2004 I don't know what some of you are saying here. Modesty and shyness are two completely different things. You don't have to be shy to be modest. In any case, Ijabo, thing is, my speech instructor was lecturing on this the other day and according to our book, alot of people have this fear of public speaking. We are talking about important people like presidents (like hitler, JFK, etc) and top executives at big corps. Its a common thing that can sometimes lapse into fear of all types of communication situation (not just public speaking). Don't be self-concious, practice talking to people you do not know, join organizations at schools. All these things help you with your interpersonal skills. Next time your honey comes around, DO NOT RUN AWAY. if you are not comfortable making the first move, wait for him to say something...and make sure to BREATH DEEPLY! Anyways, alot of people are on the same boat as you (although they might not look it, but most of the time you can't tell). Remember to use your nervous energy to good use. Hope this helps Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted January 20, 2004 opi & so'aien! u 2 cracked me up!! organize at school!!! lol.. holly smoke!!! i ce reality hitting home aye! suggestion! stay indoors, till uyall get a proper faarxax tutor! i am already booked! so...good luck sistas!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted January 20, 2004 I think U shoud Practice with one of your Brothers and or siblings No one should give u IDEAS as to how to overcome shyness...u shoud only consult the local Shrink abt how to overcome on shyness.... Plus ddnt u say u are like 23yrs old?....Get a grip and Start talkiin to ppl! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted January 20, 2004 Salaams sis There's nothing wrong with being shy to some extent- but don't let it imprison you. Don't change who you are but just your actions - by interacting more with people. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Business_Man Posted January 20, 2004 I dont know how to deal with SHYNESS because it is hereditary!. Shy people generally tend to have good manners, respect and have been brought up in a well loved home and so interacting with a new environment becomes difficult because they feel alienated!. Peace. Cont. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pebbles Posted January 20, 2004 salam, ijabo, sweety I hardly doubt shyness that is your problem, you just haven't met the right person when you meet "THE FARAX" it would feel like the most natural thing to do, you would feel like you are talking to your best-friend than a potential "to be" if u get my drift;)...I'm proud to admit being shy by nature, I constantly feel the emotions you have discribed, but I define my feelings differently... Opinionated: thnk you for clarifying the difference b/w shyness n modesty...most of us are unable to clearly differentiate the two :eek: ... 'm just gonna add my two cents here...To be modest you are able to control your desire n behavior-it was nauseating to read how some faraxs in here attempted to state that only xalimo's are expected to be modest! n they also pointed out how rare of a quality it was among us "xalimos", well atleast it is not extint unlike(hmmmm is there a need to point fingers?) the term "hypocrisy" does seem to come in mind lakked, walalo since when does shyness have age limit? :confused: have you not seen a kindergardner who can seem oh-ever-so-grown-up that could express their emotions or behave in ways you never thought was possible? shyness is not a disease that needs to be cured! nor is it emotional disability!... personally speaking, I believe shy folks are the best actors, for we are constantly role-playing; which is hard for most to detect(its about time we are nominated as superb actors *hehe*)....in case you haven't got my lamme excuse for humor, the last sentence was suppose to be a joke...anywho, I think 'm going way off topic here, so 'mma wrap it up Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SomeAlien Posted January 20, 2004 ! Anyways, alot of people are on the same boat as you (although they might not look it, but most of the time you can't tell). Remember to use your nervous energy to good use. Hope this helps [/QB] ^^^true, i used to do theatre in high school and a lil in cegep. when i used to audition i used to really shock them... although thats usually when i practised my lines real hard at home. and rudy, whats this? yr mocking me? why, i thought we were chill? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted January 21, 2004 sista ala mtl! no mocking heya! as i remember u use to be on someone's tail!!lol! what happen there? did u nail him or did he got away, hint!, what holiday was yesterday in the america? u know who i am talking sista!! :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Section6er Posted January 21, 2004 People on SOL suprise me. Are you guys serious!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am here lol at somebody saying that its not good to loose your shyness. How do you go about loosing your shyness? LOOOOOOL Is that possible? Is it like loosing your viginity? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted January 21, 2004 ^^^^ lol section6er, confusing isn't it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ijabo Posted January 21, 2004 LOL - SECTIONER , ya thats intereting - im kinda on the same train of thaught with u there - lool . Intersting well thnk u all for ur opinions and advice. it has helped on some level. lol - kinda suprised so many of you all responded. cool Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
