How Important is Your Mum's Tribe?

[Alpha Blondy]

............apparently not very important!

 

i'm deeply shocked and wish to express sad regret at my reer abti and their neglect of me during my time here. i was raised by them but their neglect in part caused by own apathy and fierce attempts to put my own clan affairs first has caused me to question their overall importance and worthy. an old somali women once told me that once a woman gets married, she's virtually off the same clan as her husband, i wonder what radical feminists have to say about that. i don't want to be understood as a qabilist and please don't misconstrue my recent threads as an attempt to be divisive and hawkish but i need answers to this question as per your experiences. clan and somalis are inextricably linked but i've tried for so long to separate them like the whole church/state divide thing but there is no getting away from this and i hope through therapy to overcome this sad infliction before it destroys me.

[Juxa]

What will destroy you is spending all your waking hours thinking of qabil and qabil related issues. May be you should give your efforts and energy developing your inner self, your own identity, what is important to you, what do you want to achieve etc. The rest will sort it self out.

 

To answer your question, you are your mother and by extension her qabil. Most of us know a lot about their mother's family, their history and lineage. That is natural progression as we spend a lot of time with our mothers and their families.

 

I do not believe a woman belongs to her husband's clan, no sir. Unless of course she wanted to. A woman belongs to herself, has her own identity and destiny. I dont say this as a feminist ( i am not) but i say this as i have never ever seen a woman saying waxan ahay my husband's clan.

[Alpha Blondy]

dearest Juxa, you're so wise and always say the right things. i appreciate.

 

my problem is not so much with qabil as such but rather the way its so prevalent and expressed here. these people are primitive i've almost become like them, you know. its like the big grey elephant in the room. to some its liberating and to others its the number one impediment to development. the level of 'eexaad' is unbelievable here, in fact its so shocking that me ignoring it makes me complicit.

 

i don't want to be part of this system anymore walahi! its making me question my very essence and that doesn't bode well for my overall mental well-being.

[Carafaat]

Alpha, to answer your question. I identify more with my mothers clan then with my own. I share more characteristics with my abti's then my adeer's. So per definition my mother's clan is more important.

[Alpha Blondy]

lol@arafat,

 

you kibir is now making sense to me ya? lol. which is better than the hoono-da.

 

i'm nothing like my mother's tribe. in fact, i'm very different to them. i cant stand their jew-like mentality lol.

[Ibtisam]

Why not just identify with both or neither. I identify with myself and my friends-couldn't care less about clan. You are the same as those who you share most with and who have your back.

[Alpha Blondy]

lol@IBZ,

 

but you're a woman and things like these shouldnt concern you dee. if you're lucky maybe we can share my tribe and i'll give you 50.1% ownership of it lol.

[Carafaat]

Alpha Blondy;864231 wrote:

lol@arafat,

 

you kibir is now making sense to me ya? lol. which is better than the hoono-da.

 

i'm nothing like my mother's tribe

. in fact, i'm very different to them. i cant stand their jew-like mentality lol.

Alpha, faanka iyo is-buun buuniska xagee ka keentay markaas?

[Aaliyyah]

LOL@ I can't stand their jew-like mentality? what does that exactly mean? I don't believe this is about tribes but some issues you got with your mother's side. Maxay kugu sameeyeen? Korna waxa ku tidhi they raised you...and if they did shouldn't you be grateful, mise they used to discipline you cuqdad baad ka qaaday...Get over it! and smell the roses lol..I am sure both of your families love you just the same.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Aaliyyah;864277 wrote:

LOL@ I can't stand their jew-like mentality? what does that exactly mean? I don't believe this is about tribes but some issues you got with your mother's side. Maxay kugu sameeyeen? Korna waxa ku tidhi they raised you...and if they did shouldn't you be grateful, mise they used to discipline you cuqdad baad ka qaaday...Get over it! and smell the roses lol..I am sure both of your families love you just the same.

LoL. +1

[NGONGE]

Alpha is in one of his high periods when cantarbaqash usually oozes from every part of him. Get used to it, people. It's going to be a rough couple of days.

[Somali philosopher]

when i think about my mothers tribe , her immediate family come to mind and they are some of the greatest people i have met. i don't need to think about the whole tribe to find a fake sense of security or safety net or what ever reason Somalis hold on to qabil for.

[oba hiloowlow]

Waryaa haku caasiyoobin reer habartaa, habaar abti is dangerous iska ilaali Alpha yeeysan familku ka inkaarsan lol

[Alpha Blondy]

look here guys, i'm not insulting my mother's clan because that would like be insulting my mother. anyway the real issue here is that i saw my adeeros and my dad side of the family for the first time in 04, I grew to hate them and still habour hate towards them. even now i cant stand them because they only come to me when they need money. i was recently forced to pay even more blood-money than proportionally owed to me and bros.

 

in the uk i was happy and surrounded by my abtis. they were super and i loved them very dearly. here i was expecting the same treatment but i haven't received one phone call, not even one call, can you believe that.... that was until last week when my abti came and now i'm beginning to make relations again. hopefully it'll be ok! but what will happen when he leaves next week?

[Mooge]

my moms clan from taleex is important to me and i don't see a difference between my sub clan and my moms sub clan. wa labo lafod o wadadhasay.