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Nur

Sharing Scarce Resources ( Somali Husbands)

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Aaliyyah   

oo my god i feel sorry for this two. I doubt they are ok with it , they sort of look like lost in their thoughts. The least they could have done is smile

 

wa salaaam

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Nur   

Naden sis asks:

 

Nur, bro, will you be addressing the issue of polygamy and orphans soon? I posted a couple of questions/comments for you on page 12. I can't see how it could even be brought up without so much as a cursory mention.

 

The verse on polygamy is inextricably linked to orphans and being fair/just in their care. Is there a hidden assumption that every second (or 3rd or 4th) wife is a widow w/kids that my dense mind is missing in the multiple scenarios brought up by you and the posters? If not, why is the permissability of the practice not linked to the 2 conditions in the verse: 1) fear of not managing orphans' affairs justly, 2) taking a second (or 3rd or 4th) wife - no doubt the mothers of these orphans, or else verse 3 sura 4 would not bring them up at all.

 

 

InshaAllah, I will, answer your questions on page 12 and more, but it is important we remove ourselves from the problem itself to see the solution. As long as the Faaraxs view it as a field day and an open season to take advantage of this imbalance and as long as Xalimos put emotional roadblocks to any idea woeard the idea, the wisdom behind this solution will be lost, looking at this problem from the perespective of an orphan is indeed a strong case, thanks for the suggestion.

 

 

Nur

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Naden   

Nur, brother, thank you for responding and please take your time with the answers.

 

You said looking at this problem from the perespective of an orphan is indeed a strong case. I'm not certain what you mean by 'strong' but it seems from reading the entire thread and others, the linguistic condition for multiplicity through the if and then clause is not broached at all.

 

My brother, since you are the resident learned one, could you tackle the sura from the beginning by drawing a picture to the nomads about the overall theme of silat al arham with which it begins in verse 1 to just before the inheritance issue in verse 6?

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Nur   

Naden sis

 

InshAllah, I shalll address the issue from the point of the Moral of the Law, to clarify the hidden drivers of this permission and its abuse.

 

 

Nur

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Aroos_2_dumar.jpg

 

 

The one on the right, the older looking one, he could do much better than her. I mean, she ain't a looker, and age is catching up to her as well as her make up is all messed up, but masha allah to the young one thats on the left side. He won the loterry on that one.

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Cara.   

Layzie, that's unkind and demeaning. How do you mean he could do much better than her? Couldn't she posssibly do much better than him?

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Wow Layzie. That's very cruel of even you, to insult someone on something on which they have no control - their physical appearance and age. They are both mature adults and both consented to the marriage, so you don't have any right saying that he could do better.

 

That's someone's daughter, aunt, sister, cousin, (maybe) mother and your insulting her so publicly. :confused:

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Wow Layzie. That's very cruel of even you, to insult someone on something on which they have no control - their physical appearance and age.

Femme, I didn't insult her. She isn't a looker and age is catching up to her, and the make-up doesn't do her justice, those are facts not insults. Bal maxey iga sameysay oon ka caayayaA? Waxna soo maaha?

 

... so you don't have any right saying that he could do better.

Wrong, I actually do have a right to speak my mind.

 

Couldn't she posssibly do much better than him?

Maybe in another life. Girls, I get that y'all are mad because she is a woman and a woman commented on her, but I bet on all the money in my wallet ladies that if I had said this about the guy, y'all would have looked the other way.

 

If the role was reversed, I would have said just as much about him, but the reality is, he is an average looking dude and she isn't so average.

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Nur   

LazieG.

 

The idea of marriage is not all about looks, looks hooks up together, they dont keep us together, its faith in Islam that does that.

 

Some Faaraxs argue that we need breeding good Faarax genes, so that we can solve Somalia's problems from conception, literally. If all Xalimos only marry good Faarax, regardless if he is married or not (provided he is within quota) , then the good genes of the xalimos will be amplified by the good Faarax's behaviour, to bring good kids, not anarchists! what do you say?

 

 

Nur

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Originally posted by Nur:

LazieG.

 

The idea of marriage is not all about looks, looks hooks up together, they dont keep us together, its faith in Islam that does that.

 

Some Faaraxs argue that we need breeding good Faarax genes, so that we can solve Somalia's problems from conception, literally. If all Xalimos only marry good Faarax, regardless if he is married or not (provided he is within quota) , then the good genes of the xalimos will be amplified by the good Faarax's behaviour, to bring good kids, not anarchists! what do you say?

 

 

Nur

Manners are not genetically inheritable. Sorry to break it to yah.

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Khalaf   

Originally posted by LayZieGirl:

Wrong, I actually do have a right to speak my mind.

layzie speak your mind shorty.......what it is wrong posting these pictures on a public forum to begin wit...... two fold harams right there....what muslims do this? :confused:

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Nur   

I was in a meeting with a senior businessman recently, at the end of our meeting, the chatting veered to social problems, the businesman (BM) in his early sixties, who raised two sons succesfully, and a loving wife for over 30 years has this to say:

 

BM: Nur, I have a dilemma, I have served my time and raised a family, my two sons are graduates and successful professionals, which leaves me plenty of time to look around, but my wife's only business is to keep an eye on me.

 

Nur: " isnt that great?" I reason.

 

BM: Well, not if I want to marry again.

 

Nur: But why? arent you satisfied?

 

BM: Well, yes in a way, she has been a great partner and remains very loyal to this day, she cant see life without me. At this older age, I am still attracted to younger women, just like I was when I met her in our twenties.

 

Nur: So, what have you done so far?

 

BM: Well, I tried to keep her busy with a new business venture, but she declined.

 

Nur: Then what?

 

BM: Well, I tried to travel for business extensively to hide my motive of looking for another wife, but she refused to stay behind, she said that she is afraid to stay home alone, she now travells with me, even for genuine business trips, I am really stuck, Nur, do you have any ideas.

 

Nur: Well, she can baby sit your grand children, toddlers can keep her busy you know?

 

BM: Both of my sons are single, and not looking.

 

Nur: This is a tough one, I have no answer, let me put it on SOL, may be the Halimos and Faaraxs can help with an idea or two.

 

 

Nur

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bilan   

an idea on how to cheat on his wife after all these years, Nur, you should have told him that his wife deserves better than that, yuusan saqiir suujin caruurta asagoo 60+ jira muxuu gabar yar ku samaynayaa. :mad:

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