Sum1notSomali Posted January 12, 2011 First off I would like to apologize if I offend anyone. I have encountered a Somali lady who I am trying to figure out. I don't want to really discuss the details of our relationship but the intention is marriage on both our parts. What seems to bother me is her portrayal of Somali woman's culture. But first let me list some casual observations I have made ... 1. Divorced woman (the ones who go around bath mouthing their exe's bedroom performance), bad girls, and the clubbing married gal all seem to attend Somali engagements and attempt to intermingle with more innocent girls. In my culture such women are pariahs and do not mingle with anyone. 2. Divorce is extremely common and occurs over non abuse issues even when children are present. Now the things she has told me that have made me uncomfortable ... 1. That Somali women brag about their husbands size immediately after the wedding (I am not insecure on this issue, however as a Muslim bedroom talk being shared with strangers is highly offensive even disgusting). 2. Her married friends have made comments such as the only reason I am married is for S*X, if it was not for that I would rather just stay in my parents home ... (again this is something shameful to declare, for a man to regulated to being just a sex object is offensive). Please enlighten me, is this typical of Somali culture? Do women really not care for true love? The idea that a woman would marry primarily for sex is scary to any man who gives forethought, it seems to be a recipe for promiscuity. And to any blinded patriot to the Somali community, do not seek to attack me as being insecure, I am completely secure, however like anyone who doesn't want to be married for money, I do not want to be married for my little friend, I want to be loved for me and I want to know how typical this mentality is among Somali ladies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted January 12, 2011 The Chineese would request me to go NUDE for 21 days prior the wedding night, everyone of her families and distance relatives would have to make a glimpse of me, if I shy away, it means I won't be enough for their daughter. The Nepleese would want me to be away the wedding night and the following 3 nights, but when I come the fourth night the family of the girl would request and sit around the room where my future-wife to be are supposed to sleep, they will have to witness the things that will happen on our first night, sometimes large crowds of relatives are around, the lights are dim from where they are sitting and full where myself and wife are based on the bed so they can have good angle of everything. The Mongolians would not allow me to marry their girl unless I burry myself half-body, to test how capable I am with their girl, if I fail the test, they would not refuse me altogether but would bring me horse's milk to drink it for at least a week, then I would go the test of burial again. The maldeves are very strict with their culture, and would want me to go under the knife, the blood has to float from every angle of my hands, legs, face, ears, they will make sure I will have to do the same with their daughter, but in a different way, so this instance I will get my revenge from her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted January 12, 2011 ^By coming up with that your agreeing to the nonsense above dee. Poster, You seem to have a set perspective of women - and how they should be dealt with once they are divorced, or had a ciggie..lol. I wont even entertain your nonsense about how 'spoiled women' are allowed to mingle with 'innocent women' ..lol, suppose you will have us, burn them at stake or shun them from society huh?? It's clear your from a society that expects women to not be 'seen nor heard' - so I understand your shock[LOL]. Its a shame that these women you have been talking to degraded themselves in such a manner by being so candid and disrespectful to their spouses - but that isnt a common nor 'the' norm - if that is what you were asking. ps.Either you want to be married for your little friend or for love, money whatever is non of our business -if its bothering you that much ,talk to the individual your in the relationship with - your not going to be marrying a whole society, just one individual, her values and standards do not reflect upon each one of us..kapish?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted January 12, 2011 ^^ Xaraam Calyk yaa Malika, I will never agree with his strange observation of mermaids(that is what mermaids do as far as I know and can recall), I would let the ladies of SOL to teach this guy the proper Somali culture. Ps: Other than Juus Gareen, which happens way before the mariage, then everything else he said is rubbish Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted January 12, 2011 Another dullard with a "controversial" topic. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted January 12, 2011 if he said waxkale i would give him benefit of doubt, but accusing somali women of discussing private matters in public..........never heard in my life. in fact that is least favourate subject for ladies to discuss. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted January 12, 2011 sorry nuune, xaal qaadoo hee - which is your nearest Dhahabshiil? Ngonge, this one sounds like a Salwar Khameez wearing dullard..lool Juxa, unfortunately there are a minority oo ajanabii isku bareeren to the point they have become a point of discussion - kuu kale naa waan kaa maqlee waxaan iyo waxyoo kaa daraan subhanallah! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted January 12, 2011 Somali women discussing size, sex and marrying for sex is absolutely rediculous! LOL!! Even if such topics were being discussed, how would you know? I doubt that the woman you're discussing marriage with and you would waste time discussing other people's bedroom habits. @ "divorced women" mingling with "innocent women." You must be from a culture that degrades and denies basic human rights to women if you think a woman should only get divorced if she is physically abused. It is obvious that this woman and you have different values and customs so why don't you stick with you own? Why bother with people whose imaginary behavior you deem inappropriate. Here are some other observations you might want to take into consideration; 1. Somali women talk back to their partners(horror and shock!) 2. Somali women work outside of the home. 3. Somali women talk to male co-worker, neighbors, friends, cousins(each has at least 20), teachers, etc 4. Somali women will slap you with her shoe should you ever criticize any of her tribe members be they male or female. 5. Somali women manage and control the husbands' earnings. 6. Somali women's houses are open to her kinfolk, meaning a family or a wanderer of her extended family could suddenly need a place to stay and move in "untill they situate themselves." 7. Should you ever leave the marriage, the children belong to her. 8. Some Somali women hate chores such cooking so some husbands polish their cooking skills. I could go on... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted January 12, 2011 ^^ It takes a special kind of nutter to visit a Somali site (and wait for his registration to be confirmed) then write such flaming nonsense, Malika. I don't mind "controversial" topics. In fact, I welcome them and think they fire up argument and occassional debate. This topic is not one of them (well, not until I came here to argue with you of course). We all have been here before and read such rubbish in the past. It goes something like this: A bored kid creates a new user name and decides to wind people up with a hot topic. He/she know that the topics getting the most emotional replies will be ones about women, bad news or the unfairness of the world (I blame you, Juxa and Blessed for mothering these rascals by the way). The thing is, these topics don't require huge brain power. "I'm an eighteen year old middle child who likes to have my own bedroom and privacy. My parents refuse to give me this privacy becuase, years ago, when I was seventeen, I once let my friend through the bedroom window. He is a nice guy whom I trusted and nothing actually ever happened between us but, unfortunatly, on the day that Mom caught us in my bedroom, he was standing very close to me with one hand on my chest (to steady me) and another on the back of my head as he tried to blow out the stuck eyelash from my eye. I think my parents are being real hypocrites because, they told me that in Somalia, in the desert I mean, the nomads used to visit each other's huts late at night and funny things used to happen. My parents said this was normal in nomadic lives but they are two faced and now say it is not normal in our urban life! I love everything to do with Somali culture but I don't love my parents' views. I think they are adopting the backwards and silly aspects of the Somali culture. What do you think and do you beleive privacy is important?" Dee naga daaaya. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sum1notSomali Posted January 12, 2011 Lol @ the responses Nothing wrong with a woman and man divorcing, I clearly indicated that I was talking about the trashy type of divorcee. A woman who is a divorcee is not even someone who I would not marry. I would marry a divorced woman but for a woman with kids to divorce for a non abuse issue ( something other than negligence, physical abuse, or emotional abuse) seems unfair to the kids. From the posts here it must be unusual for women to talk about such issues and that is great! Must be a few bad apples. Seriously folks take a chill pill, I only know what Somali people tell me about their community, the bedroom chat was told to me by a Somali ... Lol this is 21st women will do all the things outline by one of the repliers. Seriously chill people Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted January 12, 2011 Sum1notSomali, I'm assuming you are NOT Somali...Once you marry that innocent girl I think your perception of Somali women will change (maybe you will debunk the myth yourself)..For now work on your relationship with the woman in your life and enjoy the early-love buzz..like every one said before me it is a bit unlikely that Somali women will openly talk about size of the swinging pendulum of their husbands... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Somalina Posted January 12, 2011 lol@poster... What a waste of energy... Somali women this, Somali women that! when will it end? sheesh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted January 12, 2011 NG. Al forum waasac, yarow. Naga leexo. I don't get ppl who go on and on and on about Somali men and women (). You're not going to marry Somali men and women. Focus on the individual you're with and leave the rest of us alone. Shidh! Yes@ OP, we swear too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted January 12, 2011 Heh@ Al forum waasac. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sum1notSomali Posted January 12, 2011 Lol @ the responses Nothing wrong with a woman and man divorcing, I clearly indicated that I was talking about the trashy type of divorcee. A woman who is a divorcee is not even someone who I would not marry. I would marry a divorced woman but for a woman with kids to divorce for a non abuse issue ( something other than negligence, physical abuse, or emotional abuse) seems unfair to the kids. From the posts here it must be unusual for women to talk about such issues and that is great! Must be a few bad apples. Seriously folks take a chill pill, I only know what Somali people tell me about their community, the bedroom chat was told to me by a Somali ... Lol this is 21st women will do all the things outline by one of the repliers. Seriously chill people Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
