Somali Women and Revert Marriage Phenomenon

[Oz]

tuma bāhara ānē aura itanā kahanā thā

[Warrior of Light]

Oz,Amin walal inshallah Mwenyezi Mungu atujalie sote kheri na salama. Mashallah, Arusha na Moshi ni sehemu nzuri sana pa kuiishi tatizo mmoja tu. Kuna wezi siku hizi sana lazima uchunge unapoishi na uwe na ulinzi mzuri. Otherwise maisha ni mazuri na kuna shule nzuri hoja pesa yako.

 

Che

There are many types of somalis , you left us out with your af Somali

[Oz]

Uwizi tena? wanayo shule ya international school sio, tosha gari mimi sasa nahesabu miaka miwili ama mitatu mie bomba mpaka moshi/arusha. Lakini umesikia kwamba ma albino wauliwa sana Tz. Video

 

WOL- inshallah kheyr, nimemaliza kazi ndo kuelekea home. kwaheri.

[Warrior of Light]

OZ, Nilkuwa bado nafanyakazi kama daktari matatizo ya maalbino ilipoanza. Ilianza toka 2007 lakini nchi za magharibi wamekuja kujua hivi karibuni.

Ndio International school zipo kote- yani ipo ya Arusha na ipo ya Moshi.

 

Inshallah tutaona kwenye maajaaliwa. Ukaye kwa salama, OZ. Kwaheri.

[NASSIR]

Originally posted by Warrior of Light:

quote:

---

Originally posted by General Duke:

 

It seems the men who are complaining are single? Why the fuss, there are plenty of Somali women at home who you could try and start dialogue with.

 

[bold]Why chase a woman who wants to marry someone else, does it matter if he is Cuban or Somali, he aint you?[/bold]

Great point, though it could be a great opportunity for the guy to man up. Instead of playing the Somali card, he should look or reflect on what he is lacking and what the competition has and try to impress the Somali sister by sincerely changing especially if she is after good qualities(e.g character or religious knowledge). Who knows she may change her opinion. Even if she doesn't, it would be her loss as he has acquired new qualities which would work in his favour. [/QB]

Lol, oo ma waxaad leedahey naagahan ragga kale guursadey ragooda liita.

Inta aan arkey sheekada ma badna.

Mid la soo furey oo wax baddan habowsaneyd iyo gabar yar oo reerka ay ka dhalatey iyada keliya ka aaba gooniya. Taana waxbaa la oran karaa xaga nolosheeda ama father figure. Aakhirkiina waaba loo diidey.

 

Laakiinse inta aan arkey badanaa waa kuwa u haysta iney ilbaxnimo tahey guurka noocan oo kale, ama kuwa mileage baddan korey ama dadka la sooco.

 

All in all, I do not really care but I have to disapprove of it in light of the social consequence for the girl and her nuclear family and future kids.

 

 

Duke, if you prefer your daughter to be married off to a Somali, then your inner belief must match your expressions, actions and expectations or else it is what the psychologists termed as cognitive dissonance.

[NASSIR]

Originally posted by -Lily-:

Malika, one can believe in one Ummah and still value their own culture and people (to be as important as everyone else). There is nothing wrong in appreciating my culture and wanting to continue and preserve it and choosing a life partner in line with this.

 

It would be a boring world where everything was diluted and the only thing remaining was shared faith.

Well said Lily, very admirable thoughts.

[General Duke]

Nassir, as I said earlier every individual has a right to mate with who ever they want. I will never marry outside the Somali race, that's my own preference and I prefer for my own children to marry into their race, as you said it makes life easier. However the fact that we live in the West, we can not ignore the fact that there are strong forces at work and cultural changes are taking place that are having a great impact on what some of us see as the ideal partner. The younger generation, see Little Wayne as the ultimate sex symbol of the times, who wants a Wayne wannabe to marry his daughter? Just an example, so outside of the Somali race, I do believe it’s preferable they should marry Muslims. Somali culture’s foundation is based on Islam.

 

However as for the topic, I have seen a worse trend than this and that is unmarried Somali's having sexual relationships and then when the girl gets pregnant rushing a white wedding. The revert issue, is nothing compared to this sickness, which is accepted more everyday.

[Blessed]

^Well said, Duke. It seems some people cultural perservation khalad bay ka fahansanyihiin.

 

Originally posted by -Lily-:

Malika, one can believe in one Ummah and still value their own culture and people (to be as important as everyone else). There is nothing wrong in appreciating my culture and wanting to continue and preserve it and choosing a life partner in line with this.

 

It would be a boring world where everything was diluted and the only thing remaining was shared faith.

Lily, my darling.. Marrying someone from another race doesn't automatically translate to not valueing your own cultural identity or a dilution of who you are. Most Somalis are doing that quiet happily without a foreigner in sight..

 

I don't have to marry a Somali to be a Somali; my language, the traditions that I hold on to and the values that I was raised with are what makes me a Somali and that would stay with me, even if I married out. The children will also be exposed to the Somali dhaqan and won't lose out either.

 

What is boring and sad, is that we dictate peoples choices based on baseless scaremongering. For starters, Somali and perhaps Bengalis are least likely to marry out of their nationality amongst the British Mulsims. This is a no issue for us...

 

p.s I hate to put brother Cadaan on the spot but he's an example of a common trend amongst reverts who tend to adopt the culture of their Muslim born spouse. In this case, we gain a Somali, not lose one - if you're into that sort of thing.

[-Lily-]

Blessed, I do agree with you. I’ve never denied anyone their personal choice. Just as we accept that some Muslims prefer to marry white reverts or Nigerians or Jewish we must also accept that some Somalis can prefer to marry their own kind without being branded as prejudiced or unislamic.

 

The reference to diluting culture was in response to Malika saying that there is nothing unique about being Somali. Of course there is, just as there is something unique about being Pakistani, Egyptian or Norwegian. It is too simplistic to say we are all Muslims and as such there are no cultural differences/ barriers between us. Even you have stated that one can maintain their culture/values despite the fact they married outside of their nationality.

[Blessed]

^Cultural differences aren't neccesarily barriers unless you make them. I don't think Malika meant that you're prejudiced for making your own personal choice to stick to your own. The prejudice comes into the debate when people like Mr Geello and Naasir campaign against such marriages. It goes agaisnt the spirit of Islamic walaaltinimo as most of these revert brothers and sisters lose their families and communities and need accomodating. And really this dilution of culture argument is pretty weak.

[Chocolate and Honey]

Somali all the way. I would never dictate anyone's choice. But for me, I would never marry outside the Somali race. To say religion transcends culture, language and customs is simply naive. We certainly dont have many things in common with Wardak, Afghanis regardless of Religion. Every Muslim nation on earth has infused their culture with the religion, making it impossible for all nations to have one culture, so to speak.

Somalis have a beautiful culture despite all the ugliness going right now and I couldnt share a lifetime with someone who has no connection with say,Xamar, Kismayo or Hargeysa.

[-Lily-]

Blessed, you know I don’t condone denying people the right to choose. If anything I find this attempt to control women's God-given right disturbing. Nor does it mean I support those who wish to ban or limit others.

 

As for the culture thing, it is not so weak to some. In fact it's a first choice for many to go for someone who is from a similar background as them and to someone they don’t have to explain themselves to. It is part of the attraction.

 

Some cultural differences can be a barriers, for example, in some south Asian cultures it is perfectly OK for the whole extended family including other in-laws to live in the same household. Unless there is an elderly parent or a young sibling with no home, tell me what Somali woman of our generation would stand for this invasion of privacy?

 

What Somali woman would save for her daughters wedding dauri? The very idea is outrageous to Somali mothers.

 

Anyway, to each his own. We should leave it at personal choice me thinks.

[Warrior of Light]

Originally posted by Nassir:

quote:Originally posted by Warrior of Light:

quote:

---

Originally posted by General Duke:

 

It seems the men who are complaining are single? Why the fuss, there are plenty of Somali women at home who you could try and start dialogue with.

 

[bold]Why chase a woman who wants to marry someone else, does it matter if he is Cuban or Somali, he aint you?[/bold]

Great point, though it could be a great opportunity for the guy to man up. Instead of playing the Somali card, he should look or reflect on what he is lacking and what the competition has and try to impress the Somali sister by sincerely changing especially if she is after good qualities(e.g character or religious knowledge). Who knows she may change her opinion. Even if she doesn't, it would be her loss as he has acquired new qualities which would work in his favour.

Lol, oo ma waxaad leedahey naagahan ragga kale guursadey ragooda liita.

Inta aan arkey sheekada ma badna.

Mid la soo furey oo wax baddan habowsaneyd iyo gabar yar oo reerka ay ka dhalatey iyada keliya ka aaba gooniya. Taana waxbaa la oran karaa xaga nolosheeda ama father figure. Aakhirkiina waaba loo diidey.

 

Laakiinse inta aan arkey badanaa waa kuwa u haysta iney ilbaxnimo tahey guurka noocan oo kale, ama kuwa mileage baddan korey ama dadka la sooco.

 

All in all, I do not really care but I have to disapprove of it in light of the social consequence for the girl and her nuclear family and future kids.

 

[/QB]

Translation, please.If you would like me to respond back.

 

Anyway, to each his own. We should leave it at personal choice me thinks.

Second that Lily. if you were to choose the hubby Islamically these are the 4 characters:

1.religion

2.Character

3.Family ties

4.finances/wealth

And all strums down to personal choice even if the family chips in, the couple will have to stick together.

[Che -Guevara]

Originally posted by Blessed.*:

^Cultural differences aren't neccesarily barriers unless you make them. I don't think Malika meant that you're prejudiced for making your own personal choice to stick to your own. The prejudice comes into the debate when people like Mr Geello and Naasir campaign against such marriages. It goes agaisnt the spirit of Islamic walaaltinimo as most of these revert brothers and sisters lose their families and communities and need accomodating. And really this dilution of culture argument is pretty weak.

Blessed...We will make Burco girls the official Somali cultural attache to the Muslim world-May your daughters marry the beloved reverts

 

but when did marrying your people regardless of your motivation become prejudice?

 

About the culture, you are saying we should accommodate others at the expense ours (I understand Islam comes first but racial and cultural can not be diminished)

 

Duke made the most sense-I doubt any Somali man wanting to marry good Somali woman won't and can't find one.

[Malika]

^Lets get back to the topic,what is your objection to Somali women marrying reverts,be of any culture/race?

 

We are misunderstanding each other here,yaa kuguyiri accomodate others culture? I believe Sis Blessed has alloquently explained this...Anigu koleybaa I dont see the biggie with culture,nor tuulo,town..waa just part of worldy possessions.

 

 

ps.Abtiga waa oday 'frenchii' aa gaar dheer aa..[astagfirullah-been aan shegee]