Somali's and the caste issue in marriage

[Cara.]

Oh yeah, I'm totally against this prejudice, it's wrong wrong wrong. Would I marry someone from that tribe though? Well, my family wouldn't be happy and it's a tough decision to make and I wouldn't want my kids to have to struggle and you know it's a complicated issue... but I want it on record that I am not opposed to my future children bringing someone of a minor clan home. As long as s/he is smart, and educated, and nice and friendly and appreciates how lucky they are that I'm so tolerant and open-minded!

[Che -Guevara]

Ayeeyo...true but I guess I will find I remain true to my convictions and needs.

 

Just thought, have we ever considered from "minority" maybe facing the pressure or have predujice against others-It's kind of arrogant "we" are the only one who is approving any such union.

[Chocolate and Honey]

Wuxuu u tagay gabadhii ay dhashay Habar-yartee isagoo kala dul dhacay CAAY IYO AF LAGAADO tii ugu xumeyd. isagoo ku yiri Naayaa maxaad i bartay naag aanan aheyn Gayaankayga. Halka ay iyana isku difaacday, war maalintii aad inagu soo leexaneysay aniga miya ku dhahay inagu soo leexo ama gabadhaan baro ayan ku dhahay. Adeb malihid ee gabadhaas meel ay la’dahay maleh ee dhaqaaleyso ama si-tartiib ah iskaga fasax.

Ilaahay baa dhaafiyay doqonkan. I know people from "big" clans who married from minority clans despite their family's objections. So yeah, we are making progress. Yes, these stories are very common in our community, happens more than you think. People have been killed back home for even entertaining the idea wax kale iska daaye :eek:

I would marry someone from those clans in a heartbeat should he proves to be a decent, god-fearing, hardworking man regardless of what my family says. As long as we have culture, deen and af in common, I'm good to go.

[Juxa]

i am with KK on this matter, i too have been too naive and used to jump with i dont give a toss as long uuyahay qof wanagsan oo diinleh.

 

the truth is some reero/families from any other qabiils do discriminate. from a woman's point of view to choose a man hailing from those groups equals being estranged from your family and friends.

 

this is an issue the men have to address first, marry the said minorities and show your parents to discrinimate is xaraam.

 

then marry your daughters off to said minorities and show good faith.

[Blessed]

I've found the good thing about marrying minority or none Somalis is that people interfere with you less. I'd allow my girls, just to rid them of Somaali faduulis.

 

Anyways, this is xaraam mahaa? It's deen before dhaqan in my home!

[Xaaji Dhagax.]

Seven years ago I dated this Somali girl from North(Somaliland) I wouldn't say we were in love but we liked each other and stuff.

 

One day she turns around and says to me that we could never get married, I asked her why is that? She goes because I was from South of Somalia therefore, her parents wouldn't never allow that kind of marriage...I was like OK coz I was not ready for a serious relationship anyway. Few hours later(in the same day), she was telling me how her sister is married to a Jamaican guy and her mom is cool about it coz he was a Muslim...........Man that pissed me off big time!

 

 

I was like, naa ma anoo reer hebal ah ayay hooyadaa idiidaysaa, nin Jameekaan ahna raali bay ka tahay.

[SayidSomal]

^^

[Che -Guevara]

^You could have said you are Comoros or something?

 

 

Blessed...Faduulis is everywhere,human behavior cuts across everything. Faduulis might not be delivered in the same manner but it exists everywhere-one of the rude awakening Somalis marrying foriegners face is thinking foriegners don't come with baggage of bad behaviors.

[LayZie G.]

KK, Bas-hee, hadda iyo baryootan in laguu galo maa rabtaa? Mase kilyaha in lagaaga fariisto aa rabtaa? Inoo sheeg waxa aa qarineyso, after all, they say waxa la qariyo qurun aa kujiro...abaaheylee offensive war-maaha

 

 

Dukey, another award winning thread from award winning nomad, but I have to say, somalitosomali marriage is overrated...

 

I have two examples to share from two different girlfriends of mine but it will have to wait. For now I want to leave you with this comment and that is too much wadno jaceel story aa meesha keente and it seems as thought the girl in the story has too much time on her hands if she is re-acting one of her favourite hindi films, ee ya usheego iney nun iska noqodo, saa dan maaha.

[Khayr]

Originally posted by dhagax.:

I was like, naa ma anoo reer hebal ah ayay hooyadaa idiidaysaa, nin Jameekaan ahna raali bay ka tahay.

[/QB]

Saxib, forget about it! It had to do with your cash flow....and there is no discrimination in $$$$$.

[Chocolate and Honey]

I was like, naa ma anoo reer hebal ah ayay hooyadaa idiidaysaa, nin Jameekaan ahna raali bay ka tahay.

belo! I thought only whites came with no questions asked?

[Blessed]

You misunderstood me, Che. I meant the extended family tend to be less involved with a couple once an individual marries out of the desired qabils league / Somalis. If you marry a cousin, they're all over your house and your business. Bring nin/naag shisheeye into the picture, waa lagaa gaabsan hadaan lagaa goosan completely. I wouldn't have a problem with that. In fact, I prefer that to the 'aan is dhex walaaqano' nonsense.

[Johnny B]

^This is really interesting , not because some Somali clans ( including mine, Clan A to be exact ) strictly adopt it , but how it'd work for those who genuinely would give a hoot, despite the " look-i'm-descending-to-your-level-so-be-thankful" double-standard it coveys.

 

I find it easier to not bother in the first place, as the accompanying double-standard is bad enough for both parties to NOT intermix in the first place.

 

Who'd like to be in a relationship with Cara ( from Clan Z ) where she contsnatly reminds one, how she'd to descend a level or two in the noble ladder of Somaliness to make this thing work ?! Not me.

 

Seriously,I've yet to meet a living person that belongs to those "minority" clans.... i know i know .. i don't see Somalis at all, but, it'd be fun for the heck of it ..

 

Somebody suggested NGONGE belonged to a minority Clan, ( and i thought Boy oh Boy ),but that turned out to be wrong, as he carries a well-engraved Buroa 'Budh'.

[Che -Guevara]

Blessed...Who marries their cousins-I don't know about other Somalis but within my sub-sub clan, there's strict code not to marry from within but I get your point.

 

JB...Most don't admin who they are.

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by LayZie G.:

KK, Bas-hee, hadda iyo baryootan in laguu galo maa rabtaa? Mase kilyaha in lagaaga fariisto aa rabtaa? Inoo sheeg waxa aa qarineyso, after all, they say waxa la qariyo qurun aa kujiro...abaaheylee offensive war-maaha

Balo kilyo ku fariisatay! There was a similar topic a while back, and when I voiced my opinion, my inbox was over-flown with messages of 'ceeb waaye, what if dad qabiilkaas ah joogan meesha?' or 'what you posted is very offensive and can't believe it is coming from one of the coolest members of SOL'...As if!

 

In any case, I have learned my time on SOL that such sensitive issues are better left alone, or if you dare comment, at least say what would sound morally right...The reality of it, however, waa sheeko kale...