Val, I always told you to move away from that run down part of London but you never listened. cynical, Yoko Ono was born senile, not to mention vulgar. For better feminist signatures check out some of the quotes of Dorothy Parker. At any rate, they’ll be more refined and subtle than Yoko’s gutter putdown.

Come on, girls. Calm down now. It was a light hearted thread and was meant in such a way. This has nothing to do with the moderator status of the author and it’s a bit unmanly to try to strangle him with that weak argument every time you see something you disagree with. ps Zenawi does have a presidential aura about him. Something that none of the so-called Somali leaders have. Neither Riyaale, Yusuf, Geedi nor the Puntland ‘president’ look at all presidential.

Originally posted by Valenteenah: ^ I don't see a single black soul in there. Bax. Why did you assume I was black? I'm in that crowd but my face is not clear. Of course, far be it for me to blow my own trumpet but I'm quite a looker you know. Check out how this poor girl reacted when she first set eyes on me

I love the speed and tempo of this song. Never fully paid attention to all the lyrics though. Thanks for the translation, saaxib.

Two months ago, Rudeboy heard about the looming Ethiopian invasion of Somalia and decided to go back home to defend the motherland. He was now older, wiser and calmer. He had shed the Rudeboy image moons earlier and become a devout Muslim. Upon arrival in Somalia, he sought out his old friends to read their opinions on the situation. He was shocked to find out that they’ve all changed! Stockholm had grown a beard and seemed all aloof and serene. Cali Ceyal looked all grown up and serious, and Dhul-Dhaqaaqi was as short as ever but seemed surefooted. They all hugged him and started asking about his life and health. Abdi replied: I’m doing ok, guys. I really miss our childish games together. But never mind that. Tell me about the Ethiopian invasion of our great land. What are you guys doing about it? Stockholm replied: What can we do, saaxib? We are not fighters. We are normal people trying to live our lives. Abdi was shocked and asked them: Are you not Somali? Are you not Muslim? How can you let a Xabashi defile your lands like that and do nothing about it? Don’t you support the Islamic Courts? Stockholm replied: We do, akhi, but we are not fighters. We are helpless. Abdi sucked his teeth, rubbed his tiny beard, pulled his socks up to almost touch his short trousers and hissed: waagwan blud? Are yous trying tell me yous got a duck’s heart, bridgen? Fix up, blud, fix up. We’s got to go xabashi hunting, ya get me? Remember when we’s used to say we soldiers, blud? Put on your shariah compliant combat trousers and lets go kick us some xabashi bottom, blud. Ya get me? Stockholm replied: stop talking in that childish style, Abdi. We’re all grown up now and we’re not soldiers. Abdi proudly shouted again: speak fa yaself, blud. I’s da original Rudeboy dat will kick da xabashi from my land, ya get me? I’s make dem say hello to my little friend. I’s a class A thug, blud. Are yous coming to fight with me or are you going to hide like chicken, blud? Stockholm had a quick conference with the other two guys then turned to Abdi and said: sorry old chap no can do. Abdi spat on the floor and stalked away to prepare for his one-man mission against the Ethiopian invasion. As he walked away, he heard the boys call after him but he didn’t slow down. He was thinking of all manner of tricks and deadly traps he could set those invading Xabashis! The next few days went on to reveal how successful Rudeboy’s ingenious fighting strategies were.

I've only ever been to one game and hated it so much that I've never been back since.

I'm the one in the bottom right hand corner with the red shirt on. Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart....

^^^^ MK: How about this?

^^^ His comments were not directed at you. Plus, and you can refuse this if you like, these jokes here are nothing but words on a screen. It's simple kuftan and banter. Go on, put down a place or a people. MK: They say that Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, saaxib Enough now. It's been decided. I shall take you under my wings and show you the ropes from now on. You're not pefect of course (due to your TFG affliction) but I shall overlook that because all your other qualities make up for that small fault. Now, first tip. That photo of yours is far too big and takes away from your replies. I'm sure you'll agree that as great as your words are they stand no chance against that great photo of natural beauty. Let us do something about that. Choose a smaller picture. Second tip, when in doubt about a thread or some witty reply that someone sent you, don't be too hasty. Send me a PM and let us discuss the best way to put all these people in their places. As great old Mr Armstrong once said, you have all..the time in the world... Same place tomorrow? Try to be punctual

^^^ Here, pass him this:

The rubbish, my dear boy is in turning a trivial topic into something serious. Now push those glasses back and pipe down. Besides, you blind hasty kid, I was actually paying you a compliment (albiet northern style).

^^^ I love the way you put your heart and soul into any and every topic. Mostly rubbish of course but one can't fault the effort. It's all about the north and south. There is no such thing as central. Get with the program brother, we are generalising here. ps The first time someone from the south said 'fiiri' to me, I started whistling. pps Fix your signature, Xalimo

^^ Our Rudy is a wise old stone age man. I personally usually follow his advice on everything in life, other than male/female relationships. I mean come on, with all due respect to our LA sage, I have a very strong feeling that every morning when he wakes up from sleep he starts urinating in all four corners of his bed to mark his territory.

Originally posted by Jacaylbaro: wahum fil shimaal miyaa ?? Anta mukhdi',,, inaka fii khada'in kabiir ,,, aladiina yasduuna humuladiina yaciishuuna fil januub nafsuhm ,,,,,, laysa illaa What a priceless gem this is. la fuda fooka ya jacaylabaro.

^^ Walaalo, inadeero, macaan, all this was done in the spirit of banter and kuftan. Try to reverse a bit and be nice, walaalo ps Ever hear a northern girl say the word 'wallahi'? Say it to yourself as if you mean it and hear the sound of your voice.

^^^ You are talking to dizzy Val here, ayaayo. If she listens to you (god forbid) she'll go to those job interviews with no skirt on.

Originally posted by sheherazade: sounds sexy, no? I too like Southern speak. Heard enough Northern grunting to last me a couple of life times. Naa aabahaa **** waan ku jeclahey. All very romantic, no? Sounds like you’ve been chatted up by kids there, Sheh! A proper grown up northern male is likely to be as harsh as that but hardly ever with swear words. He’ll soften you up with the jab of a proverb, uppercut you with a couple of lines from a song and knock you out (head over heels) with some incomprehensible poetry that can both be viewed as a compliment or an insult. If he tells you that you look good he’ll do it in a matter of fact way without beating about the bush; a bit like: naa you look good, nacal shaklak (yes the boys like to sound multilingual in their amorous approaches). A southern boy on the other hand will spend ten minutes telling you how he had no breakfast that morning because he was in a hurry to leave home (ma arkino) and how he almost missed the donkey carriage to school and had to walk instead. He’ll then try to sweet talk you by saying that, for you, he’ll walk all the way to Mombassa and that you’re worth a million donkey carriages, ma fahmino? The only one thing that I can’t understand about southern males and females is the xabeeb in their voices. Is that compulsory? I’m yet to meet one with a clear voice! It’s like those 'clicks' the Bushmen of the Kalahari have in their language. The girls sound like they’ve been crying all night and the boys sound like they’ve been oppressed all their lives! When I’m president of Somalia I shall make it compulsory for all Southern school assemblies to start every morning with a loud, clear and hearty shout of the word xaaaaaaaaaaaax, maybe that will dislodge the stuck phlegm. Ps On the oppressed point, let us have an experiment and imagine a northern and southern man telling their sweet hearts that they did not sleep well the night before. Can just imagine the northern guy going: naa ha ila hadlin, xalaytoo o dhan adaan kugo fakariyaay oo wan siixan kari waayay! The Southern guy on the other hand would go: abaayo, toban habeen ma siixan, nooh. Abow abow ani feedhmare aa o ikaaday camal..qiiiq qiiiq qiiiq, jaciilkaga daraadi nooh..qiiq qiiq..waa ooyee wallahi.. And on this point, after demolishing the Somali language I shall hurriedly leg it into a safe distance. ** Ducks **

^^^ Not at all. I'm saying the whole thing, confusing as it is, is still worth talking about.

^^^ True.

^^ I've tried to move them away from snakes but they just don't like habar jinni Look! M O N K E Y!

^^^ And reveals much more

Are they all supposed to be female jinn, Cambarro? I once heard a story about a guy who married a female jinni. If she looked anything like the photo above I can only guess that he fell in love with her lovely nails.

^^ An Osama bin laden fan?

Originally posted by Nubia: Isn’t abeeso a snake that sucks blood and sleeps a lot? NG, I’ve came across a snake on my recent visit to Dalaaxo, a small village near Burco. Lakiinse it was dead and on my arrival maas dheer baa xor ordeey our gadhi! That village was the city of snakes, if one ever exists. Every area was full of snakes and musacageleey holes. Going toilet in the bushes was a complete nightmare. Not all snakes are docile some do attack without provocation after all they need to feed. ^^^ Now here is someone that speaks proper Somali (had to be from Burco) Glad you explained that the giant lizard is not an abeeso and is instead called: mas-ku-cagalee (I’ve never been there much but I pay attention to the names of my reptiles). Anyway, this lizard it’s not really a Komodo dragon, is it? I thought those only lived in Indonesia and that part of Asia! For those that saw one, how big is it? Would you say the size of a full-grown cat? Aha! This is the one you're after! A White-throated monitor lizards

^^^ You've been spoiled, ayeeyo It was a favour by the way. It was my own cousin’s wedding (not hers).