Blatant leering Today’s topic of discussion involves the blatantly leering activities of shameless men. Here is a typical illustration of a Somali man leering. Quite a looker indeed. Now far be it from me to spoil anyone’s fun in ogling the opposite sex protruding tongue and foaming mouth and all but must some of you men do this so obviously? I mean have you ladies ever had a dude visually eye rape from head to toe WHILE you where in conversation with him? Truly how bloody obscenely obvious must these fools be? Had these walking entities of penile idiocy possessed the ability to string together two Grey cells they’d realize that such a shameless display of sexual interest really is quite tasteless, tactless and tempestuously…sordid (apologies for destroying the alliteration) Truly not a lot of things annoy me as I’m pretty laid back but this eye raping really does have to be one of those things which annoys and vexes me a bit. The last time a dude eye raped me was today at work. A security guard no less whose always been extremely friendly and cordial. Usually he looks at me from the corner of his eye and is very much discreet in his ogling but today for reasons unknown to me (New pair of trousers and accessories perhaps and the fact that I walked in like the queen of Sheba as- always mind you) may have had something to do with it. Still, when he inquired about my weekend- the usual farcical boring questions you get asked as if you’ve done anything other than wash clothes, clean the house and recuperate. Anyway I answered him back amiably as always but when he had the audacity to eye rape me WHILE I was speaking with him and making me very much aware of his brashness? I kind of felt the urge to be blatant as well. Two can play that game. “I like chicken and chicken likes me” I said completely out of the blue just to see if he was paying any attention as to the lame conversation he took out of his way to block my path to initiate. All I got was a dismissive “yeah, yeah- I know what you mean –so you and I should go out for a drink one time?” I know the drinking thing was such a silly “Blasé” thing to attempt when it’s obvious I’m Somali. “Did- you even hear what I said?” I asked “Uhuh, oh yeah, ahh I mean er..What?” He said “I said did you hear a word of what I’ve been saying or were you too busy licking your lips and looking at me like a greedy hyena?” (I smiled giving him the most innocent look I could muster) This now definitely stopped him in his tracks and he looked startled for a moment and then giggled in embarrassment and surprise that I’d actually dared to say anything. From then onwards I told him to behave himself and at least have the decency to sneak a quick look at me or anything lady which caught his eye more discreetly. In fact when he apologized and said “I am sorry, you are just beautiful” I replied with an equally flippant “I know I am but that still isn’t an excuse to behave like an hungry jackal (Still grinning, being cheeky and dancing on the edge of rude little b*tch and a wise-cracking dashingly cocky little sh*t) With that said I walked off leaving a very bemused looking Nigerian security guard clutching for some semblance of order-as it was apparent that he was left feeling more than a little lost. God it had to be a Nigerian didn’t it? He kinda ruined my morning actually and put a very sharp step in my usual loose limb- the world is my oyster walk. Jeez that’s why I kinda prefer white men; they look at you on the sly as if catching eye contact with you is in itself a forbid pleasure. They’re sneaky and I like that- by all means drool to your hearts connect so long as I’m not consciously aware of it, otherwise lord knows I’ll point it out and cause you embarrassment. It’s not the first and hell it won’t be the last time I’ll say things to provoke a man. Its weird but if I’m annoyed I’d just as much to air out my grievances as soon as the opportunity arises. I’m a not much of a “ignore the boy” shy wall-flower type and if truth be told I actually enjoy catching men off their guard and making them feel awkward as hell. If an opportunity arises to embarrass one? You bet your @rse I’ll take it by the balls and all..for want of a better word (giggles) hell I had a better word I just chose this one-oh the hilarity! (Slaps herself together) So ladies- have you experienced this eye raping phenomenon and does it really tick you off as well? Or perhaps you feel that it’s no skin off your nose and that you’d even go as far as to say you’re flattered by such cave-man admiration? To fellers- If you’ve ever eye raped a girl whilst in conversation with her then what the beep is your problem? If not why the hell do some of you do this? God its so annoying and tactless. Ps any wise-cracks on my title and you'll receive a pen in the eye. LOL

LOL- Now thats what you call a woman, take heed ladies we could all learn a few lessons.

Chocolate-Honey- Sister, simply because you've never met any clean sharaf filled V-boys doesn't mean they don't exist. I personally have met plenty and trust me its not hard for a Somali boy NOT to be a virgin unless he's the type to shag other AJANABEE's. Usually you don't have the time to meet other Somalis and often our ladies don't give up their nachos (Lady bits) so they don't get any either until the wedding night. Sheherazade LOL I apologize when I get a little vexed sometimes I fall into grave smutty mouthed sin. I shall endeavor to repress this silliness. Ps Simply because Society is corrupt enough to accept double standard imbecility is by no means a reason for us to accept its terms. We must strive to uphold some semblance of morality and a free sense of fair justice. If I'm anything I'm fair, so no horny buggers for me. Well, not if their of the haram (Alaa ceebta_ variety) anyway. Ps the ones that shag all kinds are the ones that hang out in sleazy, horny Moroccan sheesha joints (I'm not judging but those places make me laugh) and rub themselves over you in weddings. Che- And what others reasons could this growing fondness of yours be due to?

Oh and I think you may have misunderstood it people, the end when God is making a correlation between the black person and himself- its in relation to the Christian belief that god made man in his image and as a result all of the Lords creation is a mirror of the divine. Utter bollocks ofcourse but its the idea that God looks like all of his creation, be they white, black, yellow or tainted red. No race is better than the rest its just that in this instant God is making a personalized connection to one of deeply insecure creations. Whose to say the response would not have been the same had it come from a Chinese person? I can see it now, your skin is yellow and as fierce as the majestic sun. LOL Istafurullah but you get my jist

^- Well said, and I'm liking you more and more Mister Shabeel. Now I'm no poncy poetical guru but I know what I like and I liked that poem very much. It was emotional, tense and disheartening in the beginning but then it quickly transformed into something uplifting, warming and cunningly humorous. Was it wonderful? Yes it was...its a moving and very jolly read as well as thought provoking in a self-effacing-non ostentatious manner, despite its grievances with the lord.

(Giggles in amusement) How about spelling? Blooming ridiculous for those learning English I tell you.

Also and why are you ladies saying that’s its difficult to find Virginal fresh clean boys? Don’t be fooled by a lot of these silly boys’s bravado because the vast majority of Somali boys are utterly inexperienced when it comes to sex. The only ones who have been ****** six ways to Sunday are those Euro-trash boys or the ones who you can just smell have been everywhere (the reer magaal, skinny jeans wearing white, arab, black and hindi woman-banging one man band). God it’s in their eyes and the way in which they speak and treat women. Do I have male friends like these? Sure they're a laugh but would I consider them as worthy for marriage? Hell no. Let someone other fool fall for their rubbish and deal with their issues, I don't have the patience. Often the polite little Somali brother who prays, goes to Uni and finds a good job does all of this without compromising himself, culture and his deen. I’m not talking about Holy-boys but real, honest “proper” Somali dudes who are just as shy but just as horny as you are to marry-but decide to wait and marry properly like the rest of us. Dudes like my own brothers… I’d even go as far as to say the majority like 90 of Somali dudes are within this category then the 10% who sweet talk you, flutter their lashes and tempt you into giving up your sharaf. You would be very surprised to find that this is the case if only you met real Somali fellers and not the ones who hound you at the bus stop, or the ones that try to shag you against the wall in caroses-these kind of shy-unassuming Somali boys aren't the frequent caros-boy types. So don't lose hope-because their just as frustrated and shy as you are and they just haven't had the time or opportunity to meet any Somali ladies. [ March 15, 2009, 07:42 AM: Message edited by: sheherazade ]

Oh for gods sake only a woman would ask such a question is this Do you think any respectable Somali man would ever ask such nonsense as "would you like to marry an experienced woman- [edit]" (Which is basically what your asking, normally I'd have no problems with this my darlings but why give these men and inch when sweet lord they expect a mile from you in return? Double standards anyone? Damn it! Why must we indulge this imbeciles into treating them any different then they treat us? (considers going into a raging rant, then decides not to) As for the question? In all honestly I'd prefer a very fresh and clean, virginal gentlemen who was incredibly well-behaved, extremely well repressed, frightened of the prospect of sex but majorly horny despite his fears. Geeky, ala Victorian, utterly polite and undeniably corruptible. If however the man had gained his badge of honour sex-demon trophy via halal means then I guess it really wouldn't be a major issue. But I prefer them to be novices as well. I don't like the idea of someone having the upper hand on me. Teach me what to do my @ss, [edit] I mean its not rocket science people,[edit] Give me a break. [edit] In conclusion, a virginal sacrifice is the way to go. Though applications will be accepted from previously married fellows- no hand luggage accepted however. (meaning kids) Sheherazade here- I can scarcely keep up with you. Doing my best to maintain the integrity of your message and the forum rules. Please refrain from explicit descriptions. [ March 15, 2009, 07:40 AM: Message edited by: sheherazade ]

What is this conspiracy? I told you both I have no idea of what you speak. I am naught but a petal caught in the winds of SOL. Truly I don't know what your all talking about and I'd appreciate it if you'd let it rest. But if it comforts you both to think of me as this person? Then fine. Whatever floats your boat

Originally posted by IsseRiyole: It is about time women stay where they belong, they are the ones who caused all this war in somlaia. if you want know how so. please ask me. God I could roast your penis on a spit right now. G-unit-(ka NGONGE) sick of me all ready eh? Last comment I promise.

This is the kind of nonsense that gets on my nerves and I become especially enraged when I here rubbish about how we shouldn’t allow women in government or positions of power- using flimsy misogynist excuses masquerading as Islam. Boo! I don't think I can stomach being in here I'm sick of being vexed by such things. (Skips off never to return again)

You know? As revolting as this is going to sound? I'd like to one of those things just to see what it tastes like. I'd eat just about anything if it were cooked properly, especially if it were a dare. I'm a little twisted and juvenile that way. I really want to eat crocodile though, thats number one in the weird things I'd like to eat list.

^- LOL Damn you....very diplomatic but you have a point. Still, you didn't truly find it "romantic" did you? Intriguing and frightening yes but romantic? I apologize for my cyber molestation but I am truly intrigued as to understand where the romance was to ensue. Reminds of Salman Rushdie "the satanic verses" which weren't even that bad. Why on earth anyone would take the ramblings of a mad man (the character) to heart is interesting. I guess faith is a touchy subject.

Ibti- Who doesn’t like old David but no I haven’t read any of his works just the usual TV viewings for me. I missed nearly all of last nights screening of the Kalari desert thing so I’ve promised myself that I shall watch it on BBC replay. Apparently the visuals and camera work was quite marvelous. I can’t wait to experience it myself. He has such a soothing voice one would find it very difficult to detest him. His wife? Is a lucky woman. Also you’ve never watched a Hindi film? (shocked) my god woman you don’t know what on earth it is your missing! Lord I which you in real-life I’d have trapped you in my home and forced you to hours of BollyWood f As for being hald hindi? LOL Hell I wish I were they have to be the most extravagantly romantic people I’ve ever had the fortune to read. Lool@Cara- well of course the films are so bloody predictable- all BollyWood movies start with two kids who happen to be best friends or have some kind of relationship only to separate or grow up together to then fall in love. We know from the first second what’s going to happen who is going to end up with who but the intrigue isn’t in the destination of the film but in the story and how we arrive there. I look forward to the songs if there from the producer/director Yash Chopra they are bound to be good. It’s all about escaping into the g@yest world imaginable and emerging from it feeling happy and giddy, what could be more better that to finish a film jumping for joy and pretending to be a Punjabi drum player for the space of 3 seconds? AT LAST! A kindred spirit in my obession! LOL Hayam- Holi? What film is this? I haven’t come across it the last Hindi movie I watched was from the movie JODHA-AKHBAR- My lord was that movie a visual feast for the eyes! Utterly masterful truly the colour the songs? The emotion the gorgeous cuteness of the couple? Ashwairaj and Roshan. Such a repressed love? *sighs* beautiful. I’m a sucker for tortured repressed Victorian love. As for song choice? OMG Marvelous! God I love that song its such a blooming classic! (Goes to youtube to listen to it again) Have you watched Kriish? And Fanaa?-These too were also wonderful! Pucca- LOL God I remember I use to be just as cynical as you, let the cheesiness envelop you and sweep you off your feet. Stop this refusal damnation! (giggles) Valenteenah- LOL Which film was that? And hell if you liked those ones you should try the classics.

LOL-I swear it some of you are just asking for trouble spreading these falsehoods. Paragon again I see your adding petrol to the fire? Ps Nice poem quite poignant and very sweet indeed.

This report is quite enraging to read as a Somali. I agree with Goodir however and would even go as far as to say that our people need to invest in registered guns. Violence doesn't solve violence but it sure evens things out a little South Africa is some seriously frightening place to live in- I remember watching "Louis Theroux goes to SA" thing a while back and it totally gave me the chills. The idiocy and flippancy to which the criminals kill others is quite extraordinary.

Originally posted by STOIC: quote:If I run out of toothpaste or break my toothbrush would I be able to replace them easily? Is the cost reasonable or do I have to pay the equivalent of a family saloon? Ngonge, Forget about your smelly western toothbrush, its all about cadey Somali and I guarantee that your teeth will be cleaner and whiter than its ever been before. And no blooming colgate in sight. Though you can buy it from the shops that and Listerine I truly can’t leave with out Listerine. So fresh and so clean, clean. Love the burning sensation in my mouth I'd advice you to ignore this one and get you a travellers toothbrush and tooth paste package if not send me your mailing adress in Hargeysa I'll fedex you some.... Ignore this statement its obvious this person must be white-atized other wise they wouldn't dream of forgoing the hindu-goddess that is the Cadey Somali for a plastic tooth comb. Behold (twists one in her finger) the grandeur.

N- I'm afraid that to flirt one would require tact and bashful femininity of some kind. I lack both qualities so should had I wished to rip to the shirt of your back and devour I would, I'd just as soon as do it and not waste precious time with flutter my eyelashes. Ps Try not to mistake sarcasm for filtration mate (pats him on the back and strolls off)

NGONGE- Heres your cup of tea, soonkar free ("accidentally" trips over and spills the scotching hot cuppa over his lap-more specifically his 'crotch" area) Cara- hows that for a female revolution? Pst-NGONGE- the toilet question doesn't need an answer- unless you were never potty trained I suggest you wipe your bum as usual after doing your business. It really is quite simple, just squat and push. *Dusts her hands off* My job here is done... Any more questions? Feel free to drop them... (no pun intended)

Adam-Zayla- Nope, I have no idea who that is- another excitable character in here I presume? PUCCA- This indayaar fetish has got to stop, its un-somali dee. Hindi loving is allowed because we like their long hair and movies LOL, Imagine if you told your parents that you were in love with a Korean (to them Chinese- aka ching chong-china)....I can only see 2 reactions. "Hooyo ha nagu guursan- Karataay buu kugu dhiili-doona" "Naah joog! Waax indayaar baad dhali"

Originally posted by sheherazade: Ngonge, I have a link to get you in the mood for Somaliland. It's not as brill as the last one but its memory might cheer you up when u're in Burco and and under siege. PM, check. Abu_Diaby- Al Zeylaci- I know it sounds strange but money is money and foreign exchange does occur even in SL so there are a lot of foreign bills in circulation. Using riyaal isn’t a rare occurrence as for the Ethiopian Biir? Hell people get paid with it. No lie As for the dude who found it difficult to comprehend the idea of Franc’s? Norfwheezy-Why are you being silly? Is Dijabouti part of the European Union? Why on earth would they be using the Euro? LOL-They use Reer jabouti Francs obviously so don’t act too surprised will you….*rolls her eyes* kids these days LOL@Ibti- Er actually try 2007- not too long ago and yet it’s like I’ve been gone for a millennium. Summer can’t come any sooner. NGONGE- Having read your topic again I’ve failed to note this toilet query you speak of especially since it doesn’t exist. There I have sufficiently answered your question. Be satisfied

^- LOOOL No doubt you'd prefer I was drooling over a Korean? In truth I too was once cynical and detested the very thought of watching some cheesy Bollywood movie, I even Hrithik Roshan the very man I am exhibiting to be g@y and far too happy. But then I was captured by his glee, his joy and most of all his enthusiasm plus the music (shakes her hindi shoulders back and forth) LOL I dare you watch a Hindi movie and NOT feel any tears in your eyes. I DARE YOU! ....lol I'm off to bed now...I'm feeling sleepy again, plus I've missed enough of David Attenboroughs (spell) animal program this evening. Something about the Kalahari desert.

Scorpion, lol please do. I shall be asking about what you thought of you know what. I look forward to hearing your enjoyment. Which you no doubt will! Hehehe

LOL- Well I thought I'd lighten the mood and of course its cheesy, silly and hindified. Is that not the essence of Bollywood? Besides its genderless. Glorified hindi's but genderless... I thought you'd be happy now that I wasn't spewing sex on the seas. Bad phrasing I know, do ignore it.

LOL Nice thread here my answers.... Are shorts acceptable and allowed in the country or will I have the police picking me up the minute I step out showing my wobbly knees? We’ve all got basto legs so I wouldn’t worry about it too much, do use sun bloke however and do keep your trousers to knee length no saucy Lycra shorts will be welcome. Not unless you classify having a dagax thrown at your particulars as a warm reception. I have been growing my hair and I think it is now at the right highet to genuinely pass me off as an indigenous Somali. Now, would I have to wear a hat or cumaamad at all times (considering my age and big pot belly) or is headwear not a real requirement in Somaliland? Not really a requirement but do as you please and wear whatever you feel comfortable in, within reason of course. No hippy dreadlocks though What is the rule on talking to passing females? There are no rules speak to whoever you wish, in fact you’ll no doubt receive more propositions then you’ve ever had in your entire life. You’re a walking piece of meat to those ladies over there, correction a walking passport to western paradise so guard your virtue well Youngman or you’ll be sorry. When in restaurants, what is a typical tip one must give to the waiter? I do not want to give too much and appear like a useless tourist or too little and appear like a mean skinflint. You don’t tip, you pay for the food, eat it and the get the hell out without clearing the table. Your even permitted to burp like a beast with trapped wind if you so please. How about food? What foods should my western stomach avoid? Eat everything and anything, most especially try the camel meat, quite a delicious delicacy over there. Though its not delicate but tastes yummy. What about currencies? What is the best one to carry around? Should I be carrying it around to start with? Should I be hiding it in my socks? They use three currencies in Somaliland actually four. 1- Somaliland shillings, 2-Ethiopian Biir, 3- Saudi –Riyaal and 4 American dollars, hell sometimes you get some French franks coming your way from reer jabouti. Don’t bother hiding your wealth in your socks the maid who’s washing them will surely keep it if she finds it. Moral of the story? Wash your own socks. What about passports? Any special thing to do? Nope a western passport should be enough though you have to pay some kind of “bringing you into the country” tax along with your airport ticket Always have a stash of American dollars at the ready you’ll bloody need it.. What about wearing watches, rings and shiny things? Are they frowned upon? Watches are classified as “reer magaal” items, the flashier and bulkier the better your station in life. If I run out of toothpaste or break my toothbrush would I be able to replace them easily? Is the cost reasonable or do I have to pay the equivalent of a family saloon? Forget about your smelly western toothbrush, its all about cadey Somali and I guarantee that your teeth will be cleaner and whiter than its ever been before. And no blooming colgate in sight. Though you can buy it from the shops that and Listerine I truly can’t leave with out Listerine. So fresh and so clean, clean. Love the burning sensation in my mouth. How about walking around at night? Is there a curfew on that? Is it considered vulgar and not socially acceptable? Youngsters cruis around Somaliland at all hours of the day and night. It’s perfectly acceptable though without any electricity its hard to see where your going. Especially in Borama when the electricity goes out around 12pm. Dont forget to invest in a torch...works wonders On the issue of bribes at the airport, what is the current going rate? Bribe well, and you’ll be treated like a king. If you know any officials in power like I do? Then the fee is waved. Is it obligatory to take photos of goats? Will my hosts be offended if I refuse to do so? No, lol-picture what you will. Just dont piss of the natives Damn I'm kind of homesick all of a sudden.