Getting married young has it's problems when you're not mentally mature and ready. That explains why the divorce rate is high under youngsters. Even under adults who are in their 20s and 30s there are many who are mentally not mature and ready. Forcing them or advicing them to get married would be disastrous. Personally I find your reasoning wrong and old fashioned since it's only based on physical readiness so they can have kids and don't care for the success of the marriage itself. The right formula is a combination of physical and mental readiness. You could rephrase it better like the following: it's better to start mentally preparing teenagers and young adults early about marriage since they already physically ready. Teaching them about their responbility and rights and that of their partners, what they can expect, how to treat each other etc. That will benefit them hugely and set them up for success since they know what to expect instead of throwing them in a marriage where they are clueless about.

Great seeing a traditional Somali wedding. Loved the video and the interview, looked like a beautiful and fun party to attend. Congratulations to the couple.

Hey Nuune & MMA how are you guys doing? You guys wait for your turn he will tell all of us of his adventures. Stop setting us up we just friends that understand each other. Perhaps he's married and you guys are bringing him in trouble. Wyre hurry up people are getting impatient lol. Why is this thread called hot in here?

Thank God you didn't go. Thanks for asking, i'm doing very good actually never been more happier. A lot has changed for me btw i'm around too recently after life has swallowed me lol

Oh em gee...Wyreeee!! My homey :D Nice to see you again you've been missed. Last time I remember you were planning on going on tahrib. Shortly after that you disappeared and was gone for a long time I even asked around about you thinking something might happened to you. Why you gotta do that to me man, you know I care too much about people lol. What happened to you and how are you?

<cite> @gooni said:</cite> Girls should get marry early before they run out the time or shelf life, after forty we all know chances is too small, kids are gift from Allah incomparable master degree or PhD. There's no end limit for getting married after reaching adulthood only mental barriers due to personal beliefs created by cultural norms. As for having kids they can freeze their eggs or get an ivf treatment or adopt based on individual wishes, just saying.

Great topic and one that would be beneficial to everyone. I agree with everything you said. I've seen many threads about people wanting to get married but never about why it didn't happen for them and how they themselves were the problem and thus holding themselves back. The problem is self awareness, not everyone has it. You can't change or work on something you aren't aware of. My teacher used to say it takes extra intelligence to have self awareness, he was so right. It's also well known that self awareness is connected to high emotional intelligence and great leadership. We as people tend to bring emotional baggage with us into every relationship we enter. Our emotional baggage such as past hurts, relationships, traumas etc not only hurts us but also other people and sabotages our relationships with other people. It's the main reason why marriages end up in divorce and friendships and relationships end. People who are verbally, emotionally and physically abusive are suffering due to their past and thus they carry that emotional baggage with them everywhere. As for your cousin she's having a fear of intimacy, she's afraid of emotionally connecting with men and thus became emotionally unavailable and hence why she attracts emotionally unavailable men. You attract what you are. She needs to do some soul searching in to her past to find out the cause of her deeper lying issues. There's no perfect person we all have imperfections, flaws and emotional baggage some more or less then others. We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. I respect a person who's got the courage to tell their weaknesses and strengths. Who's not afraid to tell how messed up and broken they are. Emery Allen put it beautifully. You don't need another human being to make your life complete, but let's be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world. - Emery Allen Personally I learned a lot since I embarked on this soul searching journey this year. It changed me and the way I look at things in situations, life and relationships. I love and live by the following quotes: You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people but until you heal the wounds of your past you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex but eventually it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them. - Iyanla Vanzant You know that you've healed an issue when you can talk about it and you're not weeping, when you can speak to it and identify the lesson. You know that you've healed an issue when having gone through that has a benefit that you live today. - Iyanla Vanzant Don't allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not. - Paulo Coelho As you beautifully put it, couldn't agree more with you on the following: At end, We have the ability to change our life and have the things we want. It all starts with our self. We just have to truly want to change it.

Lol Mooge no worries I got help from a nice person who's willing to help me through it

Nuune - So the website is yours huh..cool, what I like about it is the diversity in books. Does the Hargeisa Book Fair ship internationally, if yes are the prices reasonable? Mooge - Thank you dear. Aaww how sweet of the so thoughtful you, I missed you too Whoaa 97 books in paperback you hit the jackpot. It's gonna take me some time to go through all of them. Holac - I know right, so many choice. Got any recommendations?

Tallaabo - Thank you, good idea as older people love poetry. I've added to my list above. Do you have any recommendations on poetry books and where to find? Nuune - Thank you for the effort but i'm looking for books in paperback not in pdf, my fault should have included that in my message. As Tallaabo mentioned the lady is a pensioner and most of these books don't suit her. Great collection of books though I will read them myself Che-Guevara - Thank you, i've looked it up and there are 2 more books how amazing. They will definitely go on my list all 3 of them. Lool at little one on the way. There will be no little one for anytime soon considering there is no king (good father) to lead them.The world needs more children coming from a loving home

<cite> @Tallaabo said:</cite> This is the typical conspiracy theories clueless Somalis peddle in merfishes, tea shops, and mosques. The Western world do not welcome hateful Muslims because of some plan to 'westernise' them, but because western laws prohibit the discriminatory measures which could have denied Muslims the opportunity to immigrate to the West. <cite> @Che -Guevara said:</cite> Gooni...The West says all the stuff you listed simply because that's part of their culture. Their children and our children are exposed to the same things and face the same problems granted they have more resources by virtue being natives. Only good parenting and involved community can counter the ill behaviors. Many Somali parents or Somalis in general blame the West instead of looking at their short comings. Co-sign!

Hello everyone hope you all doing good and are in good health. I want to surprise my old neighbour since she loves reading. She's alone and has no family only one left from her generation. She sees me as the granddaughter she never had and treats me like that, since I don’t have any grandmothers I see her as my grandma therefore I want to do something for her. The problem is my Somali network is very small hence why i'm reaching out on this bigger platform. I'm looking for Somali books in Somali about history, autobiographies, stories, poetry etc.. Any Dutch/English websites and bookstores would be helpful. The books should be in paperback not pdf. Thanks in advance.

Live and let live. If you don't like fobs simply don't hang out with them. No one is forcing you to interact with them you always have a choice. I know 1 Somali guy who is from Kenya who was new in the country few years ago. He was so well mannered, kind and respectful. All the ladies love him due to his personality and character. He became a good friend of mine. He used to tell me stories about his life and till this day i'm still amazed how he turned out to be that good coming from a place like that.

How incredibly brave of this man to risk his life like that. Hopefully he will now have a better life and be reunited with his wife and kids.

Parents especially the father should protect his daughter from danger and harm and not be the one to inflict upon her. A daughter is a fathers princess and his gateway to paradise. The fathers who are loving kind and compassionate towards their daughter never do that. It's always the harsh unloving careless ones. The men who are pro FGM lacked love from their mothers and now express their hate for women through their cruel practices on their daughters. These kind of parents don't deserve children. They don't think of the psychological consequences.

<cite> @Mooge said:</cite> Mashalah. you are full of wisdom Blue. Thank you dear

Sister you're still young don't make yourself old. Whatever happens never lose hope in yourself and God. Be patient as whatever is destined for you will happen and will not miss you. Never put an age and time on wanting to get married as in doing so you're sabotaging yourself and setting yourself up for failure which is a recipe for disaster. Sometimes people forget that things don't happen on our time but on God's time. You may for example want to get married at 26 that's your chosen time but the destined time from God could be 28. Always trust God as he knows best what we need and has our best interest. You may dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. If marriage is indeed destined for you then you must know that 50000 years before the sky was introduced to the sea God wrote down your name next to your future husband. So in order to find him you will need to work on your relationship with God. There's alsways room for improvement and inshallah the right person will come in to your life at the right time. By connecting with God he will guide you to the right path in meeting that person as only he knows who that person is and where they are. People tend to forget this. People could go to many places and meet many people but still not meet the one because he/she isn't there and they couldn't know that before hand. A time waster lives in the present and only thinks of having fun and getting his desires met by wanting intimacy. Marriage isn't included in his long term goals and therefore will not want to contact your wali but instead keep things a secret. A serious prospect not only thinks of the present but also his (near) future. His long term goals includes marriage and when he's serious about a woman he does things the right and halal way by contacting her wali. Which shows he doesn’t wanna play with the woman and respects her. The fastest and easiest way to know whether a man is serious about you is; does he want to contact your wali. If he comes up with excuses or doesn't want to that's a red flag get rid of him. Hopefully this was beneficial to you. Keep your head high, keep smiling and do you as you are on the right track for finding mr right

^^ Agree with you. It's indeed suspicious he died while the others are alive. There is more to the story then they are letting us know.

Shout out to the following wonderful people. Miss their beautiful souls. Hope they all alive and doing well Abtigiis Garnaqsi Showqi Juxa Narniah Valenteenah Wyre Blessed Abwaan Chimera Mooge Carafaat Taleexi Apophis Nin-Yaaban Ibtisam OdaySomali Haatu Oba hiloowlow The Zack Tillamook Rudy-Diirye Bob Malika Raula Che-Guevara Paragon

Amazing view from above.

- Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places. - Sometimes we just need to distance ourselves from people. If they care they will notice. If they don't we know where we stand. - Sometimes you miss the memories not the person.

<cite> @OdaySomali said:</cite> Avoid people who cannot control or manage their anger because, as 'good'/intelligent/skilled/loyal they may be, they are bomb waiting to explode and in the end will turn out to be a definite liability. To add more: - There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away the battle they are fighting isn't with you it is with themselves. - Anger is nothing more then an outward expression of hurt fear and frustration. - Explain your anger don't express it and you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments.

Because of my youthful appearance you wouldn't think that i'm in my 20s. So hopefully inshallah I will age gracefully I know a cute old couple who are married for 40 years. They both 60 but the woman she looks as if she's in her late 30s early 40s. People don't believe her husband when he tells them they are the same age. They think he married a young woman lol.

Mashallah she aged gracefully and looks stunning at 59. The result of good genes and good diet. Black women and long weaves lol. Hair is the beauty of a woman. Somehow men love long hair.