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lala-land. its too appealing when afar but its hell on earth here.

waar are you mad, mate. all grandparents died before i was born. life expectancy was quite short in those days at a mere 45 years noo. now we have grandparents of all ages. i was doing research on blacks in america and came across this site.

From as early as 10 years old, I awoke to my grandmother tapping the ceiling directly underneath my bed with a wooden broomstick at 7 o’clock each morning during the school week. I rolled from underneath my covers, bathed, then made my way downstairs to the kitchen, where she would have a bowl of grits, a side of bacon, and a glass of orange juice ready for me on our kitchen countertop. Ever-watching the clock, she would make sure I finished breakfast in time to be out of the house at half-past seven, so I would make it to school on time. Before I left, my grandmother would often ask me if I had completed any homework assignments teachers had given the day before. I was a good student, so I almost always said, yes. But even if I didn’t do my homework, she would have no way of knowing. My grandmother, Inez Starr, could neither read nor write. In fact, she could barely write her own name, and I often had to handle any important business affairs on her behalf. Still, I never met a woman who cared more about education than she did. She, as some of my family members recall, put books in my hands as early as 3 years old. Never mind the fact that neither she nor I could read the words on the pages. Her “Rell” (as she affectionately nicknamed me) was going to learn how to read — even if she couldn’t. “There is always a way to do what you want to do,” was a constant refrain of hers. And no matter how violent and rough my West Side neighborhood in Detroit was, she never allowed me to make excuses when I got in trouble. I was a good kid for the most part, but temptation was hard to ignore sometimes. At 13, my more rebellious years, I favored hanging out with some of the more mischievous young men in the neighborhood rather than coming straight home from school. My grandmother was elderly and couldn’t run after me on the streets, I figured. I could do what I wanted and come home when I wanted. One day, after hanging out in the streets, I arrived home only to see a police car drive up in front of our house moments later. “Those streets are no good,” the officer told me. “They’ll get you killed.” My grandmother had threatened to call the police to get me in line before, but I didn’t believe her. That was the last time I tested her word. One day we were watching scholars on some talk show intellectualize, ad nauseam, about how violence and sexual images on television can make young people act out negatively in real life. She was not convinced. Worried that these scholars may have won my support, she stared directly into my eyes and, in her ungrammatical profundity, delivered her own, more succinct perspective: “You can go on out here and do something ****** if you won’t to,” she said. “But the police ain’t go come here and put handcuffs on that TV; they coming to arrest yo’ Black *ss!” In my grandmother’s eyes, there was no such thing as “external influences.” I had full control of my actions, and if I got into trouble, there always was some way I could have avoided it. The best way to stay out of trouble was to avoid it at all costs. Sometimes my grandmother’s loving guardianship went too far. One time I spotted a girl I knew from school walking past my house. (Let’s call her “Sharmaine.”) She didn’t know the neighborhood well and asked me if I could walk her to a store several blocks away. When I told my grandmother I was going to escort Sharmaine to the store and would return in less than 30 minutes, she balked, responding, “No, you ain’t.” Shocked at the thought that my grandmother would not allow me to walk Sharmaine to a destination less than three blocks away, I pleaded with her not to take away my manhood. My grandmother didn’t relent an inch. So, sullen-faced, I returned to my front porch to deliver the news that she would have to make her way to the store on her own. “What?” Sharmaine said. “You joking?” “Nope,” I replied. Sharmaine then burst out laughing and walked away, leaving me on my porch steps embarrassed out of my skin. I was 17 years old. My grandmother’s logic behind why she wouldn’t allow me to be the gentleman of the ghetto: “That girl may try to set you up and get you robbed by some dopeboy friend,” she said. “Who are her parents? Have I met her? Why she come all the way over here from where she lives? I don’t trust her.” My grandmother may have been a little too cautious in this case, but given how rough my neighborhood was and how many of my friends had become fathers before finishing high school (if they finished at all), I think she did the right thing, in hindsight. We need more parents like my grandmother. Parents who love their children so much, they are willing to make them uncomfortable in order to make them successful. And like my grandmother, love to the extreme to ensure their children do not slip into the unassuming pitfalls of incarceration and teenage pregnancy that negate a successful life trajectory. Now some people may think my views or the approach taken by my grandmother is, and I am sorry for using dirty language, conservative. But it was this “conservative” upbringing that allowed me to grow into the college-educated and, for lack of a better word, liberal-thinking 31-year-old reporter I am today. My old broom-tapping grandmother is gone now. She died right after I finished high school. But when I wake up each morning in my Bronx apartment to prepare for work, I still hear that broom-tapping sound that woke me up more than 15-years earlier. She may not have been able to read, but she taught me to cook a mean pot roast! I make my own food now. As a life-long domestic maid, she taught me what knowledge she had. And I continued to hear her omnipresent tapping during my four years of undergrad at Philander Smith College and three years of graduate school at the University of Illinois. Even in death, my grandmother “tapped” me through three degrees. And now she is tapping me toward a promising writing career. All of this from a woman who wouldn’t be able to read this ode I wrote in her honor. My grandmother is a testament to how a parent with few resources and little education can produce a productive human being, and it started with a broomstick and a simple caring “tap.” http://newsone.com/1809905/my-illiterate-grandmother-raised-an-educated-black-man-terrell-jermaine-starr/ ------------ interesting article.

^i agree. this guy has a questionable past (which i'm not willing to divulge on here or for the purpose of further questions relating to his past neither deny nor confirm) and this could further stain his already tainted reputation. i mean, does he even have the mental dexterity required to be a 'duuq'?

'saldhiga of the shah' how interesting that this hell-hole was once a colony of the persians. i'm sorry but no amount of suave advertising and cutting edge technology can project this uninhabitable, slum and shanty town as a tourist attraction.

The-freeman;849082 wrote: Death is only problematic for the living. For me, death is similar to before I was concieved, nothingness. very interesting idea. are you saying there is no life after death. can you please elaborate on this strange and i'm assuming pseudo-science induced idea of the 'gaal' atheist.

It’s rumoured in the coastal city of merka, the dead can heal the living by consuming their illnesses. in a pompous ceremony which lasts for approx. 21 days. 21 days symbolising the last two thirds of the month; men, women and child dredge themselves in blood from the sacrificial animal of peacock and chant strange verses in a Neolithic language. this is followed by 4 days of fasting to represent sacred values of 'iminkata'. 'iminkata' is the custom of self-sacrifice for their various deities. I was recently told of this practice by a xamar cad-cad friend of mine. I listened very attentively and asked various questions relating to this practice. He informed me that their sect still exists and operates underground despite their diminishing numbers. The order of the ‘iminkata’ is very secretive and indeed played a vital role in curbing the claws of the US-listed terrorist group Al-Shaabab in that part of the Somali speaking world. He also informed me that their ancient language is now partially extinct and their leader and possibly the last speaker of this ancient language Olade Aweys Guri-Gote is 89 years old and frail. Shocked as I was, he informed that order now needed an expert cultural historian to help them understand their ancient scriptures to reincarnate Aweys into their chosen new ‘Olade’ or Prophet, and that l appeared in the vision of Aweys on the last day of ‘iminkata’.

the other day i attended my 4th funeral. it wasn't a pleasant experience and i must admit that it left a very sour and indeed gloomy ideas of life in my mind. i lost someone very special to me when i was very young and even though i've never felt the void, since you can't miss what you never had, like the disabled not been aware of what it means to have two normal arms or legs etc, laakin you always know the inevitability of death and that its never too far away and life's only certainty. towards the end of the funeral, one very wise man lol said 'mark your spot for indeed you could be next' to all present. i though that was very poignant and true. for the last two days, i've been researching death as experienced from different cultures and other worldviews and how the departed are mourned.

hey, i'm conducting a small research on different types of Muslims based on behavioral conduct. I'm interested in discovering the role behaviour, mannerism and overall conduct affects social relations in an Islamic context. what are the charactisitics of a 'good' muslim as percieved by his/her peers,family and society. how can we promote good moral virtue and a more compassionate form of islam without distorting the essence and core of islam. how can we give those bearded-islamo-fascist-thugs-akhis who measure their iman by the length of their beards or those sultry sistas who engage in forbidden acts a good moral grounding and ethical behaviour. if you could please provide a short description of your behaviour as a muslim that would be appreciated very much. cheers, al.

Naxar Nugaaleed;847714 wrote: Some of the arguements give hope that there are reasonable people. The Quran says there is no compulsion in religion, am not sure how these supposedly pious people get around that. What's clear however is that until Muslim speak out against these people where ever they, we have no ground to complain about "the media". Also, the unfortunate truth is that the victims of these raving lunatics are lopsidedly Muslim. NN, adiguna don't you get tired of regurgitating the same nonsense all the time sxb. you're displaying subtle hints of being a militant atheist. live and let live. don't think masqueriding between empty 'rational' words like 'reasonable' can hide your deep-seated issues and emotional instability. waar, people like you will rot in the deep dark red molten lava of hell and will be punished for your wicked sins for all of eternity lol.

Jacaylbaro;847397 wrote: No I know Alpha did not come up with the first thread .... Come on Alpha, where did you copy from this "Af-reer-xamar" thing ? JB are you saying Ninka is my script? how blasphemous!

Valenteenah.;847401 wrote: Rudeness. Can't abide rude people. Followed by lack of basic manners. interesting...VAL? give example plz?

people who use the toilet and do not clean it up after their use for other peoples use/ who don't use airfresher etc people who are messy and lets say drop something on the floor and who do not bother to pick up that item people who break promises most things can get me pissed but i'm working on exercising more patience as per arafat's help lol.

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Nin-Yaaban;847353 wrote: Nothing say's "Gangsta" quite like wearing a Warner Bro's chain and rapping in British English. Hardest Farah i've seen anywhere. When does the Album come out? Ninka, there is nothing wrong with leeboi's claim to be 'gangsta' so spare 'us' the sarcasm. its a lifestyle choice and an identity the individual can construct based on their conception of what 'gangsta' is or ought to be. the term 'gangsta' is all encompassing and doesn't belong to a particular group including afro-american. the only somali 'gangsta's' i've seen with the exception of kay and maybe ilka-case from america barely speak english becos they've been in the states for a short period of time, having spent some time in an kenyan refugee camp listening to out-dated stuff like biggie and tupac. they also often wear very large white t's and trousers that are too big for them. they speak a lingo filled with expletive-ridden profanity and peppered with the 'gangsta-ism'. by the way, the WB stands for woolwich boys or should that be boyz, i may need to ask leeboi for further clarification.

^ do you not think that somalis qualify under the 'nigger' category?

i do know leeboi indeed lol and he's making money for sure.

i've been dreading my family coming to visit for the last three months. don't you just hate it when a close family member makes a unilateral decision without ever consulting you or taking into consideration your thoughts of their intrusion and decide ''hey, i know what? i'm going to visit Alpha in his palace becos i think he'd like that very much''. the truth is i don't want them here and never have. all disclaimers aside i'm now resigned to the fact that things will never be the same again so long as these 'intruders' stay and make themselves very comfortable in my life and house. I've reveled in my freedom and personal loneliness for the best part of almost 2 years but yesterday the first tranche of family came through lol. already I've been forced to make several sacrifices including my 'personal' freedom and laissez faire lifestyle and so much more. i'm not sure if i can or will tolerate such sacrifices or for how long. its feels like deja vu already and i'm seeing the same pattern of behaviour that drove me to depression. you see my family isn't like the average dysfunctional Somali family. we are very moral and live under a regimented paradigm of virtue. the threshold and standards of behaviour expected are too high. wish me luck, the somaliland dream is officially over and i think i'll leave before they leave walahi.

^ whatever happened to your city/town profiles. last i saw you were at 'C'

so how does this 'heathcare' work in the U.S? is it strictly for when there is a need for it? if you're not covered are hospitals gonna turn you away even if your situation is serious?

Sayid*Somal;846221 wrote: If write here what i do for my children - i am afraid i might be inundated with of offers from pontential minyaros your claim is very similar to the political sentiment of somaliland. we are democratic therefore give us praise. i went to school so i deserve job. i'm a good father therefore give me respect. all these things are the very basic and should never be awarded. validation comes from hard work and 'action'. never congratulation yourself or berate yourself, sometimes your ahead and sometimes behind.

in an awe-inspiring labour geographies lecture, i learnt an interesting fact that stills haunts me. all things being considered 'social reproduction' as it was cleverly termed has the potential earning salary of $140,000.00 (2004). still, if we attach a monetary value on all things then where does the buck stop? house hold chores and raising their kids are necessary for women becos without 'that' they cease to exist. we are somali. we are a decent people. we are a conservative people who have stood the tests of time and the annals of history will and have judged us to have strong moral fibre and strong familial ties. the important emphasis we put on our social relations, ties and interactions are testimont to this. thus, we MUST be careful not to subsume 'our' unique culture under this human rights and equality mantra. this is culture and place specific and a perversity that will destroy our 'sacred' values. somali fathers and men have done relatively well considering the circumstance they've endured. recent times have tested the very essence of the family structure. this has taken its toll. we can infer from these experience that the family structure has become fragile with the subsequent resultants (s) being to: 1. reevaluate the structures of the family - 2. reconfigure the traditional structure of the family early attempts to both reevaluate and to reconfigure what God deemed natural have produced many negative results - marrying non-somalis, single mother phenomenon, the crisis of masculinity among somali men, combined with the violent niggerised culture of 'somalitude' practised by young somali males which has questioned their identity and place of belonging and the all-encompassing women's empowerment subversive ideals and discourse. similarly we've seen infidelity and illegitimate children become the norm often producing negative impacts. all these consequences have induced calls and attempts of trying to change the norm and in its place to create and try new 'model structures'. this latest model of trying to femininise and domesticate the man into house husbandry and ineffect trying to and purportedly destroy and subjugate the man's sense of self is not surprising and is the work of the white devil. its seeds have already been soiled. like NG quipped this is the stuff the privileged waste their time on. the man continues to dominate most somali and somali-hybrid households. the man must remain in his natural and pre-ordained dominion. anything less than this could be catastrophe for our very survival and alleged traditional values and norms. the man will never be conquered and will always con the 'woman' into delusions of power game (equality, career ladder lol and appeasement). only a childless career woman or the occasional dyke strap-on'er with a vindictive and callous behaviour patterns will destroy the man. thankfully, from a somali perspective this group is currently contained and under control but for how long? they are blood-thirsty and seeking to exact revenge but societal expectations and conformity is their kryptonite. we are currently working with our brothers around the globe to put 9-inch thick nails into them and to put corrective measures in place to avert a looming disaster. we MUST save humanity from this destruction that will seal its impending and ultimate end.

that's obviously besides the point! and to be honest i don't wish to make you a 'close and personal' friend since your childishness point scoring antics and snide sense of humour leave a lot to be desired and below my 'friendship' threshold. so don't ask silly and directionless question. for goodness sake! what hell is this? nagada da ciyaarta iyo spanish inquistion dee sxb.