Sign in to follow this  

Ragii ma adigaa ka hadhay, ( They refuse to take their stake in the world).

Recommended Posts


Ragii ma adigaa ka hadhay ( the few good men).


Here in the west, when people talk about the next generation, or the future of their grandchildren, they really mean it. It is not just a talk or encouragement for people to look the future. Everything that surrounds you is a testament of generation of people transferring leadership, government, wealth, property, infrastructure and a long lasting system. When they build highways, bridges, and overpasses, they construct to last for their grandchildren. Just look at the American interstate system, it was mostly built in nineteen fifties and early sixties. Everyone is trying to give the country better than how they received or would strive to give the next generation the same opportunity as they had when they were young.


Those of us who have matured in the late eighties and early nineties inherited a country destroyed by our fathers and uncles for one reason or another.


Now , without further delay, let me get to the topic of this thread. We the middle aged men and women who spent half of their life time in the diaspora, we will not be transferring a nation, wealth or anything we have accomplished back home. We went through a lot to be a productive citizen. Now the ball is on the side of the young generation Somalis who grew up in the diaspora, particularly those who spent most of the age in north America.


Many of these young men have perished and lost their lives in this tough streets, while others are spending their time behind bars, vast majority of them have somehow survived and are making strides in their lives. In this thread I will concentrate, not the bad and the ugly, but the good young men who made it. Those who are making an honest living through hard work and those who achieved some form of education to better themselves.


Last year, one of my friends son got married to Eritrean girl, and just last summer on of local girls who attended one of our schools married a foreigner. These are not the exception to the rule of our young men and women marrying one another, but it is becoming a common thing. I know love is blind and you can't do much about two people who want to share life, but, this could create social problems for our young people. I do not want to raise the alarm bell or create wrong expectations , but this trend may grow bigger if we don't fix the problem.


The main culprit in the issue could be many things. I did not made any research on that matter, but I would like to point out few major reasons.


1- The Somali girl is achieving much higher than the boys.


As I mention in one of my threads, a higher percentage of the Somali girls are achieving much better than their male counterparts in education. In some provinces in Canada the ration could be 2:1. These creates higher expectations for the girls to find suitable mate. Usually, in a marriage compatibility is essential. Even in the Sunnah, it encourages the marriage of people that share values and are compatible, not the outdated tribal values of the nomads. In this scenario, the typical young man is scared to confront the genies girl who is perfect in so many ways.

as the tradition demands, mostly it is the male who courts and initiates the first step of the " hasaawaha". A decade or so ago, the Prime Minister of Singapore was saying the typical male is becoming fool in the age of the these well educated women. He encouraged girls to stop pursuing education and start getting married. Well, I will not be proposing that, but I will suggest to the boys to go and challenge these geniuses. They might overachieved, but they still need the love of a caring man.


2- Some are Going back home to find the perfect pride.


I see a lot of young men, especially those who have been in this country just over a decade or others who are not exposed to the family life of the Canadian Somalis, they go back home to find a pride. Sometimes, they just want to drag things in a few years while the wife, that he went back home to marry waits for the process to finish.


I was counseling a young man few months ago about that long process. Why not marry an educated or just a local girl instead of going back home to find a pride. For the local girl, you don't have to teach her the language, and she won't be spending years in Esl language; you don't have to teach her how to drive a car, because she is already licensed to drive. She may even contribute financially until you had babies. It is what we call win win situation.


3- These young men are refusing to take their stake in their world. or just refuse to grow up.


I have a beef with these group of young men who just doesn't want to grow. Some have already finished school long time ago but , they are not done yet with the single life and hanging with groups ( asxaab iyo maaweelo). They do not want any responsibilities or the just want to drag their feet. A large number of these are partying or having some kind of useless relationship on the side. these are the guys who suppose to fill that gap I was talking about. They are really compatible with the local girls, they grew up here in North America, they are educated and they can be the new generation of Somalis that should take whatever legacy we leave behind here in the diaspora or contribute the revival of the Somali people in the horn.


4- Finally, we must adopt with the changing technology and way of life of the modern Muslims of north America.


The arranged marriage of our forefathers, were someone may recommend to you the next door girl who is both good and caring is over. for these generation of girls, you can't choose for them or even suggest who they should be marrying. The best you could could or should do is she must know those who share her values and faith. There are no social or other community venues that these young people could meet and understand each other. University or educational places are not enough. There has to be more interaction about the neighbors and the community in general. Barbecues, volunteering, and Somali events must be done to bring the next generation together.


Last year, I was invited an event hosted by the ONLF ( Ogaden Liberation Front). The speaker was the number two man of the movement, and former founder of WSLF ( western Somalia liberation Front). By the way I was always a contributing fellow of the movement ( Qaadhanka Bill kasta waan bixin jiray, inkasta oon magaca diidanahay, ilayn berri hadii laxoreeyo , Kaadi baan u soo cabnay ayey xaafadu odhnayaane ). I have to throw that line in the middle. Any way, when the speeches and other matters were over, it was time for some cultural dance and refreshments. As usual , the traditional " Dhaanto", had started and the room became alive. While the young man and women were participating , some of them were somehow reluctant. After the dance , people demanded one more time of the Dhaanto. The vice chairman took to the microphone and said, " waar u daaye ha ciyaaraane, hadaad diido in ay hortaada ku ciyaarto, meel kale oodan garanayn ayey ku ciyaariye". I still remember that quote. He was encouraging for the young to play in front of their families , or they may go and play in nightclubs or other an savory places.


5- They could be worried about economic well being. This group, are just afraid of the modern economy. They believe , they can't sustain a married life in these competitive environment. Time could be out until they find that cosy job which pays a ton of money. We came to Canada twenty some years ago, life was much tougher than todays environment. Yes we had some education and could speak passing English, but we were stranger in a new country. jobs were scarce. The North American free trade decimated almost all manufacturing and factory jobs, which was the entry points for new immigrants. Unemployment was high. It was a difficult to get a dish washer. The minimum wage was 6/hour. Nowadays, someone who just came from a refugee camp, could start a warehouse labourer for 15/hour. What they don't know is, here in the west, consistency and having permanent life like a marriage is a recipe for prosperity. Whatever you earn, you will some how spend, at least spend in your family.


There could be other reasons. Now since we are pointing fingers, let us see which group these young lads in SOL, fare in this litmus test. Some how, I assumed most of you are young. I do not meen teenages or late teena. I mean those who are in their middle twenties and early thirties. let us say from 25- 31 old category. If most of you are among those group who neglected their duties or refused to grow, then I must rethink my future participation of this forum. Because, I do not want to be associated with bunch of young men who do not want to fulfil their moral duties.


I have a niece graduating next year, and I hope a decent guy comes for her hand.


now let me try and do survey. Please answer truthfully if you are single or married. I hope these will not infringe your privacy. We are doing it for the good of the community.


1- Ninyaban, single, just by judging him in " somalia behind bars".

2-Che, measured man, married. if not God help us.

3- Holac, good man but still single.

4-Dr Osman, Radical puntlander, single, otherwise he would have slowed his zeal

5- Saalax, single, there are no women in khaliij.

6- Alpha, single, doesn't want to grow.

7-Cadalle, married. I read some where. Finally , good for you.

8-Dalmar, married. reer Mudugs do not wait. good I hope.

9- Mooge, over achiever, yet Single. he should have, long time ago. Guity.

10-Ciidansuldan. He went home good for him. Married. those who went home are contributing .

11- Dr, Kenny, married I hope , otherwise guilty as charged.

12- Mahiigaan, hard to say. since he doesn't know much about Mogadishu, he must be young. married.

13Dhagax tuur, married.

14-Malister, married. Caynaabka hay.

15-safferz, guilty as charged. Single.

16- Deeq cawil, married. keep the big picture.

17- Adnaan, young, single. maybe too young.

18-peaceaction , married.

19- Tilamook, tough guy already married.

20-Wadani, married. hard to judge.

21- Apophis. married to a white lady, or I do not mind him being single. It just discrimination. I know.

22-Tallaabo, Marreid/ single . could be enjoying life, hard to tell.

23-Yoniz, Single. could be still too young pank.

24- Mustafe, Single, doesn't want to grow.

25- Maskin Macruf akhyar. Married, otherwise guilty as charged.

26- Libaax sanka Taabte, Single I hope I am wrong.

27- buuraha, Hope he is single, otherwise pray for that girl.

28- Somalirising, married.

29- Miyir, Single. Probably.


Now , in this list imaginary list only less 40% are married. That is really bad. Finally in order to perfect the survey please answer the question.




Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites



I'm technically single, but I already know who I want to marry. I've been talking to her for a few years now. But I'm in my early 20's, she's the same age as me.


And this young lady is 100% interested in marrying me, and she's said so on a number of occasions. And I feel the exact same way


Both of our parents know about this "relationship", but we haven't yet set a date on a future engagement :)

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Brother Galbeed well analysed, i'm indeed married (to a woman from reer ONLF)!


Sxb truly i love reading your threads, please continue on for us, thanks.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Marka aad nin himilada Hilin toosan mariyoo

Hir markii la gaadhaba Ku labaad hilaadshoo

Haga maatadiiso (in this case our youth) La higsade dhashaa baa

Hooyo lagu xasuustaa. (Hadraawi}


Galbeedi, Waxa hubaal ah in aad qiimo weyn ugu fadhido dhamaan dadka somaliyeed. qoraaladaadu waxay ka turjumayaan sida aad u jeceshahay in umadda somalidu ay wax noqoto.


Waxaan aaminsanahay in dhalinyaradda dibedda ku kortay ay wax badan kaa faa'iidaysan lahaayeen hadii aad siminaaro u furi lahyd. Bal hadaba arinta sol uun ha ku koobide masraxyo ku day.



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Barwaaqo, Ina adeer waad mahadsan tahay. gabadh ku amaanay ma wax loo dhiga ayaa jira.


That Hadraawi song, really sums up the value of the Somali mother. I will do my best, although some young punks may want to expel me from the SOL.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Galbeedi, well I'm dragging my feet due to financial constraints. As soon as I'm able to afford it, then I'll definitely be looking forward to tying the knot inshaAllah.


But there are plenty of young men who aren't going to be marrying anyone until they're at least 30 years old. They want the free life, the stress-free life, the no-children life.


And there are plenty of Somali girls, who have started to show interest towards Ajnaabis, especially White Reverts. And I initially thought it was a London-only phenomenon, but it's grown MORE common in the last 5 years. Maybe it's a response to the lack of eligible bachelors in the Somali community. Maybe the girls simply have different preferences. But it exists, and it's growing

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Doc. There's no perfect time or circumstance, just do it or you will just see more obstacles in your way. But don't marry for the sake of marrying.


Galbeedi. We live in melting pot and our young ones will marry people they grow with up. I don't know about Canada but Somalis in US are doing relatively good. I have seen and know many young professionals both men and women, and many of these actually do marry each other.


When it comes to the issue of women doing better, it's true up to a point but we are not that different than other ethnic or racial groupings, women in general among all races are excelling. More women than men are graduating from schools though men still dominate sciences.


As for the Somali male in general, we live in suspended reality, an atmosphere devoid of ideas but there's a hope!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites



6- Alpha, single, doesn't want to grow.


what exactly do you know about me, abti?


hora loo sheegay. ************* marku yimado war bu ku sida, marku ka sii socdo na war ba ka si siida. waad af dilaacsatay ee keep your opinions of folks to yourself and stop spreading fitnah. cheers.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this