wyre Posted December 28, 2010 Please provide the date of your death. I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again:D As far as I know, my computer has never had an undetected error I don't know my mothers name, because she died before I was born I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want I felt like my vote was the vote that put [Obama] into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that's how much power it felt like I had.(p.diddy) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted December 28, 2010 - Monday morning wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't followed by 4 more days of work. - The Definition of WORK: A place where officially adults go so they can act like children! - Guilty people always answer a question with a question! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted December 28, 2010 Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. (zoo sign in china) Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver If you walk backwards, you'll find out that you can go forwards and people won't know if you're coming or going:D The team has come along slow but fast. The fact that no one understand you, does not make you an artist China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. Football players win football games My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. It depends Most lies about blondes are false. That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted December 29, 2010 Coffee isn't my cup of tea. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child? Witness: "I only have one, you know. I eat computers for lunch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ninweyn Posted December 29, 2010 War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted December 31, 2010 When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front? You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted January 1, 2011 I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow. If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that! Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms MoOns Posted January 1, 2011 What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed. A hard-on does not count as personal growth. I am doing my best to imagine you with a personality. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
5 Posted January 1, 2011 Ms MoOns;684733 wrote: Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Hilarious! And so true Especially in some places. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kamaavi Posted January 3, 2011 I'm tired of using technology, I need you right in front of me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted January 3, 2011 Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. If everything is coming your way you're in the wrong lane! Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
