Internet Bubble comes to Somalia...:)

[Hibo]

This really tickled me....Everyone is avictim of the Unknown.. please read on.

 

MOGADISHU, SOMALIA (SatireWire.com) — Red Cross officials in Somalia, which in September became the last African nation to go online, appealed for calm today as the country anxiously awaits the Great Internet Bubble, which many fear will wreak havoc on their villages, livestock, and loved ones.

 

"It is said that once you are on this Internet, it is inevitable that the Great Bubble will come for you," bemoaned Issaq tribesman Siad Barre, who stood guard outside his home with a rusted AK-47. "I have heard it appears like a thief in the night and will steal our goats and children."

 

 

"No no, the Great Bubble is made of sand," said Barre's neighbor, Farah Abgaal. "It rides the wind and will swallow us whole. That gun is no use, Siad. You are a fool."

 

Both Abgaal and Barre dismissed as "Western lies" the Red Cross' explanation that the so-called Internet Bubble is not some kind of animal or phantom, but an economic term to describe a period of intense speculation. Instead, they heed the counsel of clan leaders who warn that the Great Bubble has devoured America and much of Europe, and will soon come for them.

 

In a speech in downtown Mogadishu last night, Gen. Gidir Muhammed warned people to be on the lookout for "mighty portents and omens" that will precede the Bubble's arrival. "First we will behold the Vile Infusion of the Venture Capitalists, who will offer us riches in return for our enslavement," said Muhammed. "Then will come the evil Dotcoms, who will take over our coffee houses and seduce us with jobs of great promise."

 

Muhammed predicted that he alone could stop the Bubble, but only if rival clans rallied around him and killed his enemies.

 

In response to the speech, roving thugs immediately executed 145 businessmen. "They were agents of the Great Bubble," one soldier explained. "It has the fangs of a boar and arrives in a Hummer."

 

Asked if he actually believed that, the soldier became quiet for a moment, then whispered, "Not really. We just talk like this to get on CNN. How'd Intel do today? My E*Trade account is down again."

 

Added Siad Barre, still holding his AK-47: "We will see who is the fool, Farrah Abgaal, when the Bubble makes kishwari with your wife!"

 

 

 

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(il),-`` (li),` ((!.-` S-h-a-q-ss-ii

[Hibo]

Shasi, I like that story sxxb, I find it so advanced compared to a story i read yestday. Well. have the result surfaced yet, I mean the fear of bubble burst and all?

 

LoL

[Baydan]

that's funny..plausible too I mean if i was living in baadiyo that's exactely how I would interpret "internet bubble" Lol

[Ashwaq]

That is wicked! lol

[Hibo]

Siad Barre is still holding his AK-47 waiting for the bubble and the thieves to come get his goats, cows and his wife too. He spends most of te day guarding the most preciouse one the Wife. He said I would rather lose the goats than my wife.

 

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`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)

(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'

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(il),-`` (li),` ((!.-` S-h-a-q-ss-ii

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

Shaqsii, first it was "Ayn Rand" comes to somalia ... now it is "Internet Bubble" huh?

 

fascinating!!!

 

[This message has been edited by Libaax-Sankataabte (edited 04-11-2002).]

[Hibo]

If there is aplace to see real comedy without actors, One has to be in the remote areas of Somalia.....Arrr maxaa wayee waxaan miyuu boodhaaa misee waa dulaa

Waar heedee waar balkaan amu naagu dilaacaa

 

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`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)

(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'

_..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'

(il),-`` (li),` ((!.-` S-h-a-q-ss-ii

[Hibo]

looooooool@shaqsi, did uu write that? funny huh!!!

[Hibo]

Dateline Mogadishu;

 

MOGADISHU(Reuters)The latest reports say that the bubble burst is now seen as eminent. Although the town's elders are seen rushing to gather around their loyal gunmen, the mood of the public is still said to be volatile.

 

There is a report that the residents around one of the biggest BAKARAHA market of Mogadishu, are seen bulk buying of goods in an effort to saver some basic things incase the bubble bursts.

 

Junk of AK-47's and many other kind of weapons can be seen lying around in my places of the city.

 

Siyad Barre's loyalists plus the Farax Abgal and also some deligates from Mr. Aideed's sections of the town are also said to be planing a rally against the Great bubble. The rally which is planned to take place just minutes before the bubble's waves arrive is in conjunction with 101 Sheekhaal and Rahanweyn spiritual leaders.

 

In a press confress held by Mr Mahdi a long time rival of Aided, he is quoted to have said "what are you nuts?, this is has got nothing to do with spiritual leaders" and continuing with his remarks he said "this is not bemuda or wardhiigley war! we have to be prepared for this long stuggle that is ahead of us".

 

On the other hand, there is a speculation that the Somali shilling's value have gone down many points and now flactuates like no other time. Reports from our Dateline Hargeisa centre mention Mr. Gaal's holding of mass press confress in the kheiriyaha space. Mr Gaal has urged the locals to rally behind him on his mission to combat this one big invations of the bubble.

 

Dateline Bosaso reports a strong alliance between Mr. Yussuf and Mr. Ali Jama. The port of bosaso has witness survailance flights of German/Brit planes which are said to spearhead for the Bubble burst.

 

MrJibriiL reporting...from MOGADISHU

 

You will be updated as the story unfolds....

 

 

[This message has been edited by MrJibriiL (edited 04-15-2002).]

[Hibo]

In Kismayu, Chickens have been introduced to Patrol the borders of its nativeland. These chickens are going to start playing a more active role in preventing Internet Bubbles – um, UFOs and their families from making flying incursions onto their sovereign soil. Inakabachaan has complained that his family is always woken up by blinding saucers that come through his wondows that scare the macaawis out of his waist. He has so far lost his wife who took off with a baac madoow and his two cats. So the present regime had no alternative but to introduce these fearless chickens.

For one thing, chickens are much easier on the public purse. They literally work for… well, actually, its not that much different from what the other border officials make. But the housing costs are just a fraction.

The best part is that Bubbles who try to sneak across our borders will never suspect surveillance from Gen. Gidir Muhammeds chickens. These are highly trained fowl with sophisticated communications and infra-red technology at their disposal. They’ve been trained to cluck loudly whenever they spot a rolling bubble. As part of the intricate surveillance web – dubbed Operation Big Duuso -- chicken clucks are monitored on a 24 hour basis from Xamar. If any Bubble has the temerity to tangle with one of our chickens they’ll be sorry. “One cluck and your out.”

Have you ever been chased by a dozen half-crazed, blood-thirsty Gen. Gidir Muhammed chickens? It can be a nasty business, but we Somalis know that a vicious chicken in the hand is much more effective in gaining control of a tense situation than a piddly hand gun or an AK 47 carried on the shoulder. A bird in the hand is worth to two AK47 in the bush.

A recent survey of Dhuusomareeb found that the average Somali citizen doesn’t know much about the Internet bubble. They consider our second largest source of employment to be fur-bearing goats. Ha-ha-ha! Its third largest, because chicken farms have taken second place. We’re gearing up for a massive expansion of our chicken program said Gen. Gidir Muhammed. He said Somalis have been cursed …that is why big humongous bubbles are relentless in their attacks.

Too nice, my ass. We’re just smart enough to fight bubbles with chicken.

 

 

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`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)

(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'

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(il),-`` (li),` ((!.-` S-h-a-q-ss-ii

[Hibo]

That was our reporter Shaqsii who is currently situated in Kismaayo to monitor the count-down of the rolling bubble

[Ashwaq]

Mr. Shaqsi:

What are they also doing with the Camels and Goats and the Cows. I heard they also employed Cows in the past for other fights?

 

lol

 

Jabril and Shaqsi I am loving this, darn be the NY Times and their lies. I bet they can never come up with this. lol

 

Layer upon layers of ...

 

 

 

[Hibo]

Ashwaaq today it was reported that the Bubles have gathered all the humans and brought them to a farm somewhere in Qoryoole. Cows and Camels given the power to get their own back and so they have been awarded role of the Royals. They don’t have much other than rule and be cleaned….here is what happens on a daily basis

 

Cambaro the Cow is the most handsome and distinguished Cow in the world. He runs the Afgooye farm in Balcad, Somalia. He has several humans as pets - the two that he likes the most are Farax lugayaree and Fadumo Afmadoow.

Every morning he rises with the sun and assumes his position as ruler of the barnyard. The humans are let in early for exercises and ordered to milk the other sisters of Cambaroo, Cambaro helps the humans talk to the cows and nicely flirter them into the barn (as humans are afraid of Cows). All of the animals have to be fed, and Cambaro makes sure that no one's forgotten;

80 cousins of Cambaro (large creatures who keep farting like crazy and think they're funny because they like to tell jokes. A favourite cow joke goes something like this:"Moooo, Moo mooo moo momoo prrrrrrrr pppuuuuuuuffff")

Then there are the two Camels (Dimbil and and Fardous - very smart animals who when they walk can stop the traffic in the farm.) Faraax and Fadumo Afmadoow brush and ride the Camels every day - their coats need to be kept healthy. They use a circular motion while brushing, this keeps them shiny + clean from Nasty shiliin.

The four dogs (Cambaro's arch enemies. They would be in charge, but they're naturally inferior to Cows.)

The 200 chickens (with about modified brain cell between them patrol the borders.) Faraax & Fadumo Afmadoow make sure there is plenty of masago are kept in large supply to keep them happy.

And the rooster (his name's Kuku, he spends all of his time looking at himself in his little mirror and ordering the rest of them around.)

 

 

 

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("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._

`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)

(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'

_..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'

(il),-`` (li),` ((!.-` S-h-a-q-ss-ii

[Hibo]

Awwwwwww, am about to be fired for real - Laughing so loud with tears rolling down my cheeks, not to mention diif walahi lool.

Shaqsii, stop it man! you'r killing me

 

Fadumo afmadow @@LOOOL

 

God Bless.

 

 

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Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised".

[Baydan]

loooooooool Shaqsi

That reminds me of George Orwel's story Animal farm...