lulla Posted December 20, 2002 First of all,how is everyone is doing? okay, i have a question and i want the ladies here to tell me what ya think.Imagine your in the same solution.And this not about me.See most of the time i post question si have or questions that are about something that related to me personally.Okay now.Say you have a best friend who is happily married to the man she is in love with.Her and her husband have been marry for like 10 yrs and they don't have any children.Her husband loves kids and wants really bad to have some kids.now remember your best friend loves him to death and would do anything to make him happy. Since she can't give her husband any kids,he husband wants to marry another wife.And of course he afford another wife.He has more than enough money.SO now ur best friend like ur sister who u love to death come to ask you a something that is really important to her.and remember right now ur single woman.so now ur best friend come to you and asked u if u could marry her husband and be the one who give him some kids.and of course already she discussed this with her husband and he had agree to marry you if u say yes.And remember her husband is very good looking and he is all that.So MY QUESTION IS WOULD U MARRY UR BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND IF UR UR BEST FRIEND ASKED YOU and THE HUSBAND WANTS MARRY U? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
La Fidele Posted December 20, 2002 *LOL* Oh my...! I tried to put myself in this situation, but I'm sorry, I cannot. This is a decision I could never make unless I was truly in this position in real life. I really think it matters on the best friend's frame of mind, and especially if she's living in North America, accepting to be the second wife!!! Lulla, if you managed to think this up, you definitely have imagination! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eastside Lover Posted December 21, 2002 Are u serious?! No joke? ....wheeeeeeey.... I wouldn't do it because what if you grls fight over him? LoL i can see it...... {{No he's mine on Tuesday you get him on Sunday!!!}} {{Hell no! I was married to him first so i get him Tuesday}} Not tryin to diss ya sister but i doubt it'll work out P.S There is over ways to have kids... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibaad Posted December 21, 2002 I heard of this kinda situation where this women was married to this man who she loved to death like ur friend but the wife cldn't have any kids. The wife therefore use to search for a second wife for her husband i think just after she found him a second wife she also managed to get pregnant! both her and the second wife had their first child at the same time. To come back to this, i wldn't do it, first of all it cld ruin the relationship with the bestfriend and to be honest it isn't fair the best friend i mean i wld do anything to help someone who needed u but marriage isn't a favour u do. It wld be taking a huge risk and i am sure it wld change the relationship the two friends have that is 4sure. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted December 21, 2002 No way sis. I'll tell my friend about all the orphaned muslim children and she could adopt. If I couldn't have children that is what I would do. It isn't gonna help your relationship with your friend and I honestly think that any friend that gave me that kind of a proposal was selfish and inconsiderat! I ain't sharing my man.... regardless of the situation :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisaam Posted December 21, 2002 Simply no...Why? Because i hate to share my man with any other women, even if she were to be my best friend ... Besides how egocentric is it of her to state such an offer to me? And the sole reason being to produce babies for her husband :confused: That is being pure mean and self- centered if you ask me... Honestly speaking i don't think for a sec that i would attempt ruin my future by trying fulfilling my dear friend favor...like muna said marriage isn't a favor you do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted December 22, 2002 Lulla, I honestly tried to put myself in that situation... I just CAN NOT imagin that happening... To answer the question "HELL NOOOOOOOOOO"... No way am I gonna marry someone who I am not in love with, regardless... May be the only way I would marry my best friend's husband (if they need my help) is if her life depended on it, seen... I wouldn't mind, in la'igu abuuro, so I can have the child for them... But to marry my best friend's husban, sleep with him, get pregnant, and then have the child for THEM... HELL NOOOO... That ain't gonna happen in this life time... They can always adopt, either way the child ain't gonna be hers by birth... So I would advise them to adopt, and give that child who NEEDS a home a healthy, loving, and caring home with both of them... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Istaahil Posted January 3, 2003 hell what woman would actually do it? not for all da love he could have and all the jewels & diamonds he can give. lulla the only person who would do so is someone so desperate to be married and has no hope no one would ever show up on their doorstep. i cant imagine sharing my best friends man only if i have lost my mind.it will be hell,seriously radical. firstly why marry him if u can get ur own and have ur own children? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Business_Man Posted January 3, 2003 How can you post this in the first place. I think it is moraaly wrong and disgusting so dont even think about it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Salsabeel Posted January 5, 2003 Salamz 2 every 1! This is not a simple issue or just a normal by passing q, coz it obviously happened several time and i have ben intouch with it my self, but the issue is not about agreeying 2 share husbands or not its an issue about friends inbetween! If a sista asks u 2 marry her husband that she loves a lot and can not be without then its obviuosly not coz she loves ya or coz she wants ya best its for her own best or use! Coz the matter of sharing husbands is nothing simple coz its not like sharing a cup of tea or a pair of shoes, the sista is at that point being selfish and puting her own best and hapiness infront of yours wich is not an action that comes from a best friend so at this point u can not call the sista ya best friend coz she is obviously not. Secondly no matter how much you guys love eachother then no way this feelings and respect inbetween ya will remain. Thirdly kids are rizq from Allah swt and if its in Allahs will then he will give her if not then he wont even if u get married 2 her hubby or not. The poligamy issue is a part of our honered religion and a true beliving muslim should't deny it, but that doesnt mean that u use ya friends 2 impliment it for ya own intrests. Then there r some ppl that does't have anything about being a second wife or even 3rd or 4th but that is beliving in poligamy and accepting living in it and choosing it wich is different from being a second wife 2 only produce babies 4 some 1, and that is not doing a favuore 4 a girlfriend thats ruing ya relationship 2 ya girlfriend and the respect u got 4 her husband! wassalamz dearz! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WILDCAT Posted January 6, 2003 What a totally odd situation! I see some posters seem to think that the best friend entering into this situation will mean her use and exploital as nothing more than a babie-making machine. I have to disagree. This doesn't necessarily have to be the case. I'm no expert, but I'd think that under islam, the second wife is entitled to all the rights and respects afforded to the first, sometimes even having priority i.e. if she bears children. I wouldn't be too hasty to dismiss her as a hopeless victim. Having said that, and speaking purely for myself, my first instinct would be: What're you nuts??? Followed by: Ick!!! And might I also add: ewwwww!!! Talk about bringing that friendship to a whole new intimate level. Shidh! I most definately would not want to think about that at the dinner table. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted January 6, 2003 Well, in my case with my best friend I don't think that would happen you see my best friend has marriage phobia she can't even say marriage she says the "M" word and hates kids. and if she asked me ever to do something like that for her I would not be able to do it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
