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The_Siren

Cheesy romance book covers to die for....

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I am ashamed yet brave enough to admit that I read pathetic romance novels in my spare time. Why? Because it helps to whittle the hours away and because how on earth is a repressed spinster supposed to get her kicks save humping the next thing I set eyes upon. No I shall suppress my natural urges and take solace in my pitifully maidenly fantasies by indulging in the good old fashioned escapism romance novels provide.

 

Yes I am shameless and yes I both detest the historical romance section as much as I am drawn to it. It’s a love/hate thing and those of you who have ever glanced or even read a romance novel will have seen that a large proportion of the cover art upon these books are hideously and rib cracking funny enough to cause you to cringe in complete and utter mortification. I bet some of you have even been forced in public and in occasion to bend the front cover over placing it directly on the flat of your lap so your embarrassing if incredibly amusing guilty pleasure remains forever an unspeakable secret. LOL

 

As a result of this guilty yet giggly pleasure of mine I have decided to make fun of the very rubbish I like to read along with their art covers. I mean truly? The covers of some of these books are just begging to be made fun of and thus here are a few covers with humorous captions on them for you to enjoy.

 

Deaf, dumb, blind and buttoness...just how I like my men. LOL

 

buttonless.jpg

 

This is just creepy LOL

 

cradle.jpg

 

closer.jpg

 

hat.jpg

 

Hey when a lady has to go? She has to go right?

 

let_one.jpg

 

Strangely this is one love bum I wouldn't mind sharing a can of beans with, preferably with it poured on his chest, I just hope a stabbing hobo doesn't happen upon us. LOL-I kid, I kid

 

love_bum.jpg

 

mcmullet.jpg

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sex_train.jpg

 

sin.jpg

 

taller.jpg

 

crack_baby_sale.jpg

 

Here are 2 more I found quite delicious to behold.

 

The undeniable double entendre in this is just ridiculously funny. The sword and the sheath indeed…they might as well have said the **** and the ****. LMAO-I know I’m rude I shall stop no more profanity. I promise (tries to contain her naughty giggles of laughter)

 

11870497.jpg

 

What I’d like to know is what kind of a male hero has a cat and an overweight one at that as his side kick? Also that heart-shaped medallion does nothing for him.

 

n82618.jpg

 

[ March 10, 2009, 06:32 AM: Message edited by: sheherazade ]

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Taster’s Choice.. Is disdain for Céline Dion innate or learned? And what’s wrong with liking her music anyway?

 

 

Hating Céline is therefore not just an aesthetic choice, but an ethical one, a way to elevate yourself above her fans—who,
according to market research, tend to be disproportionately poor adult women living in flyover states
and shopping at big-box stores. (As Wilson puts it, “It’s hard to imagine an audience that could confer less cool on a musician.”)

So, Siren is repressed spinster or wisecrack? Entertaining that's sure :D

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^- I don't know what it is your trying to insinuate with that hating Celine Dion article but I assure you that I bare her no ill will (Squints her eyes suspiciously) I'm on to you...

 

Ps Serenity I hope I didn't give the impression that this very entertaining silly genre is all I read because I don't. I actually read anything and everything smile.gif Scouts honor (though I've never been a bear/girl Scout)

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Ibtisam   

LOOOL!!! HAHA @ The topic.

 

I must say I never got into fiction at all, as for romance novels. I once read them Mills &Boom books, it was soft porn about an American rancher. Never been tempted to read them again.

 

Is there one with black characters?? and glossy nice pictures fit black men covers. icon_razz.gif:D

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LOL@Mills and boon. Those books are probably the worst kind of books, god they're so predictable and lack any originality whatsoever. Still there are a couple of really good authors with wonderful stories I only ever read the best (grins) and believe me Mills and Boon are right down at the top of the food chain but your on the right lines ibti LOL

 

As for sex novels involving steaming hot black dudes? LOL I'm sure they exist and let me see what I can find for you (rummages around in her book closet) I cater to all taste....

 

pst I'm running low on hunky black dudes but will a blind mermaid being courted by a 6th century viking lord do?

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Ibtisam   

LOOOOL, better than the usual white dudes posted above. :D

 

My bad, I thought it was boom.

 

When I get old, I will come back and do the trashy reading in these areas. I mean surely I will be bored in my old age.

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Paragon   

Ah, well, if it fertilizes your imaginations, then do indulge old girl. ;)

 

I read too but ofcourse not the same material. :D

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^When did watching late night erotic stories qualified as reading...On my first night in America watching cable TV late night *war shuxuux ba ku jira*

 

 

Siren...I know you love Celine :D

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Paragon   

Looooooool@@war shuxshuux baa ku jira'

 

Nin aan saaxiibbo ahaan jirtay use to say: 'Adeer Macdan baa layska baarayaa'. :D The sort of language he would use for normal TV scenes markaan maqashid waad ku beer-caddaaneeysaa lol.

 

Talking of late nights, I am off. See you tomorrow, God willing.

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LOL@Che very ungentlemanly of you to point out Paragons nightly festivities in such a manner.

 

Ibti- LOL I fear that I've already become old and decrepit just by waiting for my true love to come galloping into my life upon a white unicorn holding King Arthur's very Excalibur in one hand while the wind flirts with my darlings lusciously long dark locks. Its realistic scenarios such as these which have no doubt helped to keep real prospects of marriage away and me upon the spinster shelf.

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First of all, let me welcome you to SOL Siren, It seems you hit the ground running.

 

I am fellow Romance reader, have read them for years, my pop rolls his eyes when he sees my books :D

 

But in all the years I have read them, I have never seen titles like these, are they for real!!!!

 

If you ever want to upgrade let me know ;)

 

bee bye

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Ibtisam   

^^^Scorpion sista, I thought the Siren was you, till I realised it was a newbie! LOL She reminds me of you.

 

The Siren: I don't believe a such thing as the spinster shelf. :rolleyes: I hate it when sisters suddenly go into panic at the age of 25 and start talking about spinster shelf and all sort of madness. Get real.

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LOL Ibti now thats what I call a woman! Way to go kick me in the self pitiful ****! LOL I completely agree with you (starts butching up again) what was I thinking weeping so ridiculously? I am woman hear me roar!... Also if your open to reading any good books I'd me more than happy to send you a few PDF files. LOL- I shall turn you into a romance reader yet

 

Scorpian Sister- LOL- The titles in this books are made up, some dude wrote them in jest to take the micky out of them. Hell if you have books to recommend then by all means please do impart on me some of your generous wisdom!

 

Ps I have a few recommendations for you if you haven't already beaten me to it. Do the words, Judith Ivory, Loretta Chase and my personal favourite Connie Brockway mean anything to you?

 

Ps 2...thank you very much for the welcome I feel very much at home already. :D

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