Strawberry_Xu Posted February 12, 2005 What is it about Somali people, when they assume parental responsibility over you, when they don't even know you. In a sense it is endearing that Somali people feel such kinship towards each other. But seriously, is it really that unusual to take offence when a complete stranger makes really personal remarks about my appearance. I know, if you're wearing as many metal chains as I am, you're bound to get weird looks and comments. But it's only Somali people who attack me with such fervour and sometimes go as far as accusing me of worshipping Satan. :eek: :eek: :eek: Sometimes an older Somali "uncle" comments openly on my looks, telling me I should watch my hips or whatever, or even if they compliment me on any part of my body. I find that disgusting, and if it weren't for my ingrained (and often misplaced) sense of respect for my elders, I would have told them that unless they're my mother or my husband, they should keep such personal comments to themselves and their wives. But these comments are nothing compared to the angry lectures I get about my career choice. Today a Somali man came in the shop I work in and asked me what I was studying. I'm doing Film Studies, but for some reason I didn't have the heart to tell him that, so I kept it vague and said Media Studies (it's not really a lie, is it? :rolleyes: ). You should have seen the look on his face. He went on about the gaalo trying to steal away all Muslim children and that more and more muslim kids are giving in to their godless ways (i.e me). They always tell me it was better to study medicine or sociology or something. I have no idea who this man is, and here he is telling me what I should do with my future and making rash and inaccurate assumptions about my faith. Maybe it's the way I was raised, but I object to strangers telling me what I should and shouldn't do with my life. What do you guys think? Would you or do you take offence when a Somali person you don't know very well, makes really personal remarks? Does having the same nationality automatically make you family?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted February 12, 2005 Oh my Allah, look at her, Xu! That was me, nooh, and you are trying here to gossip me. Oh, I didn't know you would narrate the story this way. By the way, why do you have to distance my kinship to you and make me of a total stranger? Does having the same nationality automatically make you family? ehehe, let me tell you abaayo, if we are somalians, we all relate to each other since the begining of Somalia. We don't want to change that culture, but am sorry to hear that from you, I wonder if you are one of the people who eat alone while your starving somali sister is sitting next to you? Xitaa majirto Soo dhawoow haye! Ar dhuunisanidaa adiga, abaayo! Sometimes an older Somali "uncle" comments openly on my looks, telling me I should watch my hips or whatever Haye warka isii bal, muxuu dhahay odaygaas kkkkkkk, amuu ujeedo kale lahaa, lol. Fiiri, I think you can be so beautiful while covering your impressive charm and beauty, walaahi, trust me I like more often those girls who offer me no opportunity to detect any eye-pleasing spots. That is how our girls should supposed to be, right? I know, if you're wearing as much metal chains as I am, you're bound to get weird looks and comments Haye, metel chains aaaaaaaa! waaba naxay waxaan is dhahay tan kuwii la sheegi jiray oo qoryaha hoos ku watay miyaa, ar iga leexda fadhi iima yaalo meeshaane! Yaala baroominaa saacadaan.......qash qac..... yac ka dheh areey aan kuu duceeyee ha i dilin maandhaay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted February 12, 2005 ^^ what are you talking about? Oh my Allah, look at her, Xu! That was me, nooh, and you are trying here to gossip me. Oh, I didn't know you would narrate the story this way. By the way, why do you have to distance my kinship to you and make me of a total stranger? quote: Does having the same nationality automatically make you family? ehehe, let me tell you abaayo, if we are somalians, we all relate to each other since the begining of Somalia. We don't want to change that culture, but am sorry to hear that from you, I wonder if you are one of the people who eat alone while your starving somali sister is sitting next to you? Xitaa majirto Soo dhawoow haye! Ar dhuunisanidaa adiga, abaayo! [big Grin] Yes of course, if a starving person was sitting next to me, I'd make sure to let them know how much I enjoy my food, I'd rub it in my face in case they didn't get the point. :rolleyes: Again you don't make any sense. I don't really object when people offer me general advice, it's just when they make personal remarks and make assumptions about me and my faith that really bothers me. You don't understand, there are simply too many Somali people for every single one of them to be family. I feel you can't make personal remarks without knowing somebody. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted February 12, 2005 ^It depends on how they tell you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sky Posted February 12, 2005 Sometimes an older Somali "uncle" comments openly on my looks, telling me I should watch my hips or whatever, or even if they compliment me on any part of my body. that's indeed utterly disgusting and quite frankly he has no right commenting on your looks, even if he's your parent's sibling. but many people let this rudeness slide by thinking that the trespassing person meant no harm by it. i too saw the same problem, especially when i'm asked about what i study. i tell them that i study ibms international business and management studies. noting wrong with that, but my brother studies the exact same thing. i was told to stop immedeately and start studying as an engineer or a doctor. so that if my bro hits rock bottom, that i won't be the second one to bite the dust. interesting logic. :rolleyes: wors thing is when you'll receive hash criticism on the person you want to share your life with. man i think all somalis can attest to the vicious comments bestowed upon the married couple in their own wedding. perhaps there are many beneficial aspects of the paranoid tendencies of the somali people, feeling the dire need to assist the quality of the somali community with hard discipline. like many parents do to their children, by 'toughing' them up. but it could also be that somalis are just plain rude, because our manners are focused on a different level (a higher level) for our norms and values are different. such as being blunt being an admirable virtue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted February 12, 2005 Ms. Xu, Are you serious? Then you must be so xuuuuuuuux, i guess. why are you not generous to providing your fellow sister out of kindness, just to display a sense of sisterhood? That is a good thing, indeed. We, Somalians, practice this aging but nice culture of paying out the bills and the minor expenses of others, for instance, at restaurents, cafes, transportaion fares, shopping at times, and so forth. I absulately believe that you would appreciate the beauty of our culture if you were less individualist and shiid/broke at the same time, lol. I understand, you are probably the only girl at the house, or may be (to cause your calm blood for splashing) you are somewhat too stiff to talk to at times. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted February 12, 2005 I hear you sis. It gets on my nerves also. Just an example; one of my girls got told of for wearing white sandals by this oday. Why would any self-respecting man be so concerned with a girls foot wear is beyond sense.. but I do love the sheer comedy of the situation. I think it's a cultural thing, thats steadily changing. Younger Somalis aren't as prude or nosey as the older ones. Well, not to your face anyway... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Alle-ubaahne: Ms. Xu, Are you serious? Then you must be so xuuuuuuuux, i guess. why are you not generous to providing your fellow sister out of kindness, just to display a sense of sisterhood? T Woooooosh <-------- that's the sound of my sarcasm going over your head. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted February 12, 2005 Ms Xu. I understand your predicament dearest. Strangers have no right in any part of your life. You have every right to tell them off. As much as they rudly come into your space and lecture you, you also have the right to tell em off. Your call. Back in africa, Everyone was a parent. the baadiye guy who brings milk to the town could suddenly out of nowhere become a walid to you. He sees you playing in muddy water and he starts yelling and using every curse word in the somali language. Some even have the nerve to start chasing you with the stick they herd their camels with. And beleive me oh my, they will hit you with it. Who gave them the responsibility me wondered, who gave them the authority me pondered, Then ,years later while am sitting in the bathroom reading my MAXIM( of course very very far away from any somali person! ), the old african adage came to my mind. it went like this. Its takes a village to raise a child While we may not be living in a village, the somali diaspora is by itself some kind of a village. Thats why many a somali man becomes shrek(green?) whenever he sees a somali beauty with a non somali. Or whenever a somali person sees another somali in a 'non somali' kind environmet, we have the urge, maybe even a sensation to say something about it. its in our fabric. Its not just aimed @you parse. Its a phenomenon among many african societies. Advice: Do like i have done many times, i tell them in the Harshest N. american accent. 'I DONT SPEAK SOMALI!'....they leave me alone while muttering something in the lines of 'these kids these days and all that crap!. i shrug and put on my ipod on! I know, if you're wearing as much metal chains as I am, you're bound to get weird looks and comments Just curious, what parts of your body are the metal chains on?. ?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diamante Posted February 12, 2005 Alla, what do I despise oldies who try to tell me what I can, can't, should or shouldn't do. It's like I carry a sign with me that says that any passing Soomaali should give their two cents and dictate how I should behave for the rest of that day. Like the woman for example, a while ago, who felt compelled to drop her groceries and run to me from across the street and tell me point blank that she did not like the shoes I was wearing because they were drawing too much attention. Or our next door neighbour, who I vehemently despise with all my being, and who got the urge to come and wash all our curtains when my parents went to HAJJ couple years ago. Putting all this aside, I think it would be too much to ask for Soomaali to mind their business. It would be like asking a monkey to never eat banana's again. I have given up telling them that they can sod their advice and telling offs, and now just respond to their never ending banter with a curt nod. However, what I loathe more is the way they confer their unwanted "suggestions". It has gone way beyond politeness, it's often rude and when it's not rude, it's often said with a righteous air surrounding the whole thing. I have given up a long time to try and understand WHY these people, who I often don't know and have no family ties connecting me to them feel the need to correct my "ways". It's possible that they are trying to fill in a empty void in their life, or get some kind of high, knowing that they have just ruined a person's day and mood. I would advice you to not lose night's sleep over them. Sod the lot of them! With that, I will skipp out and get my tea and biscuits. Ta-da Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted February 12, 2005 Some of my brothers and Sisters...oh am sorry...In Islam to be perfect...know the story behind all this... Alleh Ubahnne..did u say you were the One...In your thread..That is disgusting..although you are doing it your way.. One thing...we need nasiixa...in islam but do it respectfully...not shouting at someone in Public.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by Brown-Brotha: Just curious, what parts of your body are the metal chains on?. ?? It's just those heavy metal keychains that dangle on the side of my trousers, and spiky metal armbands and suchlike. I don't wear them all the time, only when I feel a bit rebellious But you are right, older Somali people tend to feel that they have a stake in your life. They believe the future of our country depends on us, which of course is right. In a way it's understandable, but seriously, if someone thinks I could use their advice, before bothering to find out what kind of person I am or even what my name is, how am I to take anything they say seriously? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted February 12, 2005 Like the woman for example, a while ago, who felt compelled to drop her groceries and run to me from across the street and tell me point blank that she did not like the shoes I was wearing because they were drawing too much attention. HeHe. You were not by any chance wearing knee high boots were you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Xu Posted February 12, 2005 Alleh Ubahnne..did u say you were the One I don't think he was serious about that. At least I hope not. Hate to think I know him in real life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faarax-Brawn Posted February 12, 2005 It's just those heavy metal keychains that dangle on the side of my trousers, and spiky metal armbands and suchlike. I don't wear them all the time, only when I feel a bit rebellious Are you by any chance feeling rebelious now? as you wrote this piece? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
