well said bruv.....fasting and refraining from sin during the month of ramadan, is not meant only for the day, but we sould refrain after iftar (afuur) and ramadan should trian us and we should carry our good deeds into the rest of the year. like that hadith (no.18 in anawawi's 40 hadith ) says, 'follow a bad deed with a good one and it will wipe it out' the bad deeds wipe out you good once, un-balance the scales, so why strive all day doing good, only to wipe it all away at night by doing silly acts.

Ramadan kariim 2u2 bruv, on the love issue, you can pass me a tissue! i think ill give up its Pursuit, settly for i miss you, stead of i love u. i aint looking for love, but why does it haunt me, hate me, why cant it leave me. why must it hurt me, torment and torture me. does the pain ever sieze will i find ease ooh help me plz!

i wonder what love is, though ive felt the aftermath of it-- the pain, the emptiness, the hollow feeling in the pit of your chest, the blank mind, the still unbreakable picture, i know that people say- u can love one for his money, his looks or personality, is it love when he has no looks, no money, and a character u cant comprehend, why do we love those that hurt us, is it love when he does things, that have u crying in your pillow, late at night tossing and turning, I know they say- love hurts, But why do we realise our love when it pains, When its too late, they say love is a roller coaster, but is it still love when u see yourself, at the top of an endless steep slope, A suicidal leap- is love worth jumping? my heart ponders, my mind wonders this- does love really exist? is it a figment of our imagination? to make us feel desired – give us purpose? is it the same as lust- an endless infatuation? is it a creation of Satan- another distraction? say, u fell in love and out, let your true love walk out, would you 4ever be hung-up? regretting, caught up in doubt? Is love really a vicious game? whereby hurt is the main aim? why does your ideal not want you? and you don’t want those that do? I know this sounds lame! But im still wondering…

MashaAllah bruv....ramadan al kariim to u2. May Allah make it easy for us, and reward us for our efforts. Amiin

khayr,,,,MashaAllah i couldnt have said it better than that .... the kuffars will never be the friends of the muslims.....they will spend their whole lives planning on how to make us reject our Lord, and our duties to him,,,, that women is one they have conquered an acheivement for them,,,,,,May Allah guide her and us all......Amiin

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool MashaAllah.....i specially like the rudy and the hijaab predicament....nice resolution,, keep up the good work@ brother nur, and may Allah reward u ..amiin

looooooooooooooooooooool @ lakkad....hmm

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool...has the guys still got his bits?.. ooops..i mean was it the front pocket or the back?

well u guys are welcome...and thanx for the send off, (i hate goodbyes) creid my eyes out everytine i left a school. O_G, sis,,,me love ya, and i know u know.....but just keep your headup....and try an remember the advice i gave u the day i saw u. dont let ppl get to u/get u down....keep ya head up & keep strong sis. kool-kat, thanx sis, well, i hope Allah keeps me on the str8 and narrow. and i hope ALLAH shows us and guides us all on the siraad mustaqiim (str8 path)---Amiin captivating, ill see y'all next summer (if im still alive and not married to a guy that's jelious of internet-pals) InshaAllah. bye the way,,,i was just browsing, after i posted this,,,,and saw this.. quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Admin: I am sorry to say this but we have no choice but to ban SHAKA_ZULU Twisted Ayeeyo CLOWN MINDSATAE DA_BEAST kiLLaflows because they are the same person. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i dont think that this place would be the same withought clown,shaka and mindstate. they had some nice topics,poems, advices, and jokes. y'all have to hand it to him....he was good. and so was ayeeyo.

just thought that i owed u guys a goodbye,y'all kept me smiling through the summer, sometimes u made me laugh- to the point i'm almost falling off my chair. but my summer is over....ive been here since june...and now, im back to my busy schedule,,, i guess at times i been a pain in the a$$...sorry. well, cafis and saamax. (i know i do most the offending)--so y'all 4give moi---plz just wanna remind y'all not to 4get Allah. there's a hadith that says ...all humans sin, but the best of sinners are those that ask Allah for 4giveness, and indeed Allah is the most 4givin... i know we all sin, we should not loose hope in Allah's 4giveness. (i know a few of my friends, say that becuase they go out raving and partying, they wont pray, coss there is now point- but no matter how great your sin....prayer is the most important thing,) another hadith says, good actions wipe out your bad actions,,,,,so keep praying and wiping away the bad actions. hope yall have great lifes...and some day...hope we all meet in heaven.... mac mac,,,,kiss kiss,,,,*** (what ever one u prefer) love y'all (all of u) w/salaam wr wb

sorry guys ,,,ive had a few troubles with ma pc... im back, and as u can see sorry is my fav word... i have to say sorry again...as i have to rush off... ill be back soon. InshaAllah....w/salaam (ill ansa u guys then)

continental She was older and wiser than me and I was too naive. But what I did to survive was just to walk away and never look back. My heart healed but it took a long time. walaahi my ears are so used to hearing girls that get hurt by a guy,,, but when i hear a girl playing a guy,,i really feel for the guy....sometimes i 4get that men are humans and can also get hurt.... thats like me saying, the guy i fell in love with (who claimed he loved me) went to somali and got married, he was a somali, therefore im going to stop trusting all somali men! walaal,,,,,dont generalize like that,,not all girls with a hijaab are bad, and not all girls without a hijaab are bad,,, leading me to say , not all guys are bad..... unreal heart girl , like they all said, people are different and since u feeling this guy...dont give up, InshaAllah things will work out.

^^^^^ looooooooooooooooooooool some one is looking for msn friends,,,,waryaa is your list that empty..... lol(joke) well u know real well, ruun baa lagu kaftamaa (hope u get me) i think that although i would love for somalia to be rebuilt, and although i dream/fantasis about returning.....and though i know some day i must return,,, i think that i will put it off for as lonf as possible,,,simply because (and you people may not understand but its how i truelly feel, so no bashing plz) i was last there when i was 3, and fear going back because: 1-im scared of seeing my real family (mother,brothers and sisters) i guess i have been away so long, and not had any contact with them, that i dont feel the connection,,and whats unknown is feared (by most) 2- im going to delay returning, till im(financially stable) rich enough to support myself, and all my families. 3-i have a great fear of snakes, more than any other animal, (lions, camels, cows, cockroaches, mice, are amongest the many other animals that i fear, and would probably have to encounter when i get to somali) imma have to work on these fear. 4-i left london for 3 weeks, went to holland, and felt home sick,,,,imma have to slowly work on me cutting away from UK, i mean, i have to soften the withdrawrel affects. i dont know....deep inside, InshaAllah i want to see and return to somali...but a part of me feels that i wont.

hornAfrique indirect flattery to u'rself huh? ^^^^^^^^^^ By god not even shy about it! walaal....im not shy about it,,,because, when you go out, and your own people walk past you, being light is not something to be proud of. e.g a few nights ago, i went down to edgeware-london, with my cousin, (personally i believe i look somalian), anyways, we was in an arabic restraunt,, my cousin, is dark skinned,(chocolate) so they know instantly that she is somali...,,every person talks in somali to her, and english to me, (assuming that im something else), when i talk somali to them, they get shocked. and think im half somali half other.(???) waxaas wax lagu faano maxa! infact its quite hurtful ( )

damn...i agree with lakkaad, but imma stop posting things that people dont wanna talk about....call it somali tradition... i dont wanna ruin that long heritage that has been passed on through so many generations...(calling everything new and unknown ceeb, and shoving every shiit under the carpet) as a true somali would say....it never hurt/harmed us not talking about it,,,,so why do u (young generations) wanna talk??

rising,,,lol..... i like harmony angel better....but hey, as they say..what ever tickles your staste buds,, dont know were that phrase came from-----^ but just felt tlike using it. lol me... silent-sistah.....aka....silent sistah.... dont think imma change it. but ill let you know if i do.

<---hopes they would still logg on and view our efforts to bring them back,,, i for 1 miss, both,,,and feel this place aint gonna be as lively as when they was hear... damn....i cant imagine how shayhem & shak zulu are feeling..since them and clown seemed so tight. i also cant understand, how anyone can develop a dislike for them clown & O_G Motti of all people.

hot choc,and mangona girl,,,,,,i know im late,,,,,but here it goes.... i dont have any evidence to support what im about to say....so please dont quote me...... i feel that hangging around with lesbians/gays/bi's is 100% wrong. and in my books, associating with them is haraam i say this because....in Islam its says you are what your friends are,,,and that you should only make friends with the true and pious muslims.... its bad inuff 2day that we take kuffaars as our friends and allies, when it says in the Qur'an that we shouldnt,,, come on.....Allah has cursed the gays and lesbians, where he hasnt cursed the qaalo that he has banned us from befriending,,, so yes,,,,i would say it is 100% haraam, to be friends with a lesbian girls,,,,,say nacla tullah calayk....and walk well away...tell them to F.off well there is my 2pence!

I hereby accept the challenge harmony...my angel.. MashaAllah....thanx for acepting ....well, i guess everything that needs to be included in the website,,,,alll the ideas ect, shall come from us here inthe forum.... its our site,,,featuring our ideas, advice,,,,ect....now lets all discuss it .... i really and truelly, think...that both parents and children,,,,need to know their Islamic, guidelines, the do's and dont's (when it come to discipline.... so InshaAllah....we can all go off, and educate our selves, (if like me we havent got the relevant Ahadiths to hand) and we get posting.... lefty ,,,,i agree that i should not have deleted the previous post, but, walaal, when u tell a personal story, to help people understand a situation....i guess i didnt see what there was to argue about, or how they could be so judgemental,,,the post just turned into me defending me self, and some naive people concentrating on my weaknesses rather than talking about the issue that i was addressing... flying-still .....i guess we are here to proof that change is not always bad....and from every culture you take the good and abandon the bad,,,,our aim here is not to imitate the kufaar, but we need to solve a sitution that we are facing in there society and since they have been here alot longer than us, they are better quipt at dealing with these situation, (the somali 'its ceeb dont say it way isnt working), so i guess we need to educate our people..young and old. well, end of the day....all possitive ideas, about what we should put into this website to help parents and children, survive in the western society is help full... i also think that if any person online,,,has had any personal experience, with abuse, harrassment, with/from parents, schools, peers, drugs ect....then it would be usefull if they shared their stories, telling us (plus the children and parents reading) how they felt, how they coped, and what they would advice. (ofcourse all posts will be anonymous.

bambino ....thanx very much for your ideas sis....i like the the part of including the parents in the setions,,,,i guess they will find out for themselves that we are incouraging the kids to stay at home, and we can teach the parents how to stay on the right side of the law, so they wont loose their kids. instinct poet , i dont know if you read my previous post on how i was beaten black and blue as a child by my Aunts husband,,,, you talk about emotional scares,,,,hmm, i guess that what hurts more than the pumps and bruises, till 2 years ago, i used to have nightmares, of him beating me up.....i cant go into the gorry detail...but lets just say, i used to wake up in a cold sweat....when i was younger, and i shared a bedroom with his eldest daughter (younger than me) if either on of us has a nightmare, she would wake the other one up, we would push the beds 2gether, and sleep on one big bed (rather than 2 seprate single beds) i guess, im most passionate, about setting up a help group, because of my personal past....and im glad in a way that i had that past, because if i didnt ....i might have turned out like these naive, insensitive, and pre-judgemental so called nomads in here. khayr Unless parents are hitting to the point that its effecting your five senses to the point of losing them (seeing, tasting, touching, hearing and the other sense (help me out here), then its not ABUSE. bisinka and with your knowledge of the deen,,,,i expected better of you. when hitting a child for discipline,,,i suggest that somali's should : first tell the child that what they are doing is wrong, and if they do it again they will get smacked. if the child repeats the bad act, then they should get a smack, when getting the disciplinary smack, the child should never be hit on the face, head, or chest.....in fact the only areas that a parent is permitted to hit are the hands (arms), feet(legs) and bottom, the parent should not over power and make the child feel helpless and weak, they should not use full force, and should not leave any blood, bruises or marks. Khayr ,,,,maybe you also missed the previous post…mistakenly deleted by me. You don’t have to wait to be put into a coma for you to realise that you are a victim of abuse. I guess a lot of us Somali’s are lucky that we (by qadaar of Allah-Alhamdulillah) survived the abuses dished out, the batterings that we endured. Khayr my sister…you are quick to jump to conclusions,,,this was a meant to be a break from negative vibes, all I asked for is a positive contribution, as to how we can improve (stop) child abuse issues. Lucky …I was talking to sister, harmony angel , and she has already got a geocites website already,,,,she was telling me that its free, and she is good with setting up cites, so, I guess im publicly asking her to go ahead with that part, InshaAllah. She also told me that, we could later change to a dot.com website, but we need to pay a small fee (I don’t know the exact but she estimated £9.99 per year) Or we could skip the geocites website and go str8 to the dotcom.. I guess, it’s a start, we could collect and post guideline of discipline for parents and children, as we are not encouraging children to run to the authorities, I think that we should include, religious issues, that deal with abuse, and families. Nefertiti ….I didn't agree with the idea of deleting the whole topic in order to stop people getting deregotary. I thought that was also a part of brushing the problem under the carpet. I think this what we need to do: We need to confront the problems facing us and our youths today. Your post was extremely beneficial. It showed most Somalis true colours. It showed that a lot of us are superficial, they are acters who breeze through life. Life has a meaning, Allah put us on the world for a reason, and instead of re-evaluating our actions and doing things that matter, things that would enhance our chances of being a good MUSLIM, we preoccupy ourself with insignificant matters. It's truly a tragedy. walaal, I know, it was another brush it under the carpet,,,but I almost gave up talking to somali’s all 2gether, (SubhanAllah), you share a personal experience with them, and I guess the first few replies did break me. I wasn’t expecting it. I mean, I just thought that , I don’t know what I thought, I guess I expected too much…. Alaa kuli haal khayr, its all worked out Alhamdulillah, and I think that those of us that are willing to co-operate and make a difference are still here, talking in this thread, so we haven’t lost anything, in fact I just think that I have gotten away from the ciyaal, that were changing the issue of making a difference to attacking the credibility of my story. Diamond , sis, it isn’t that hard to get youth project up and running, I guess you need the support of a few gaalo along the way, (I cant see those somali’s that know about community work helping us, they would probably take the idea for themselves,, or they would take the funds)ß-in saying that because I heard a lot of shiit about Somali communities at the present. I seen a lot of Somali communites, that are set up for youths, but the people that run it, are old men and ladies, no different from their own parents, I dotn see the kids approaching their parents best frieds with their problems, Naah, I think that we, as the young adults, should run it. And help our youth. we have more understanding of the school, social, and family life from a kids perspective, we could relate to the kids, and therefore could better advice them.

^^^^ wild stalker ,,,,,wether i do it for attention or not...only Allah knows....its not your place to judge me..since you dont even know the first thing about me...so i suggest you quite with you bull. you guys, can either defend, the people that abuse you, you can hide it under the carpet, because you claim it to be a shamefull thing to talk about,,,,but there are some people that want and need to talk about it, im not ashamed to say tell my experiences, if it will help another think twice before they commit abuse. it does leave scares. nin yaaban ,,,,,walaahi that is sad...that a somali father would sexually assult his own sons..Subahan Allah....Allah ha u gargaaro,,, thats what im talking about...if them little boys,. were aware of there rights, and if there is a somali place they could go for help....Allah knows how different things could have been.

wlcm back mizz lexus...glad to see u got your old name back. nin yaaban,,,, when you said how many people suffer from black-outs.... i was hoping you was saying that you was experience eppisodes, where you loose conciousness, and become unaware of your actions for a period of time..,,(does anyone else share my sypmtoms) i was about to say that explains your sick, weird and insensitive character/humour

shijui....im with you on the discipline part.... but whats eating me up...is how somany here, without knowing the full story (they were not witness) they are soo wuick to say that the girl is in the wrong, the father is right...and he had every right to beat her,,, i dont see how that can be said, maybe the girl is telling the truth , maybe he put a knife to her throat and she ran to the neighbours,,, maybe the somali community wanna give her a bad name, becuase like many here they support the father,,, i dont know walaalo....but it pisses me off, that people could be so judgemental and small minded, and how they like to hide behind dagaan and what they went through in somalia. this isnt somali, back there u had your gradmother house to run to,,,here you dont have no1 but the gaalo.

Salaam Alaykum first i would like to give my deepest appologies that my other post was deleted...it was my fault, i asked admin to delete it, because of the first few negative replies,,,, i was giving in (ma bad- i guess im real weak) i thought that the people here were not ready to find a solution, to the problem, so i asked for it to be closed, didnt see the point of being slagged off, when no benefit was going to come. benefit did come...and i had jumped to conclusions again....i guess i should be more patient ---InshaAllah ill work on it. I found that alot of sisters and brother are willing and ready to discuss the issue, and look for the solution. to help our little brothers and sister that are living it bad, i would like y'all to give your ideas, on what we can do ...and how... sister nefertiti , came up with the idea of setting up a website, for children having a hard time, she was saying that they could get online for support and advice, and maybe later we could turn it into a phone-in help line, all possitive ideas are wlcm...and if you feel that one idea is not constructive,,,please dont just diss, give us the reasons (why u disagree),,,and an alternative if possible.

^^^ please separate religion and dagaan, alot of times they go hand in hand...but there alot of traditional somali ways, that our religion condemns...this does included the battering of young children walaahi, you dagaan freaks are sick to the bone, a clear fact that the somali dhagaan beatings is not working is that fact that so many somali children are turning to the kufaars for help, im sure they cant all be retarded, some of them must be genuine and have retarded parents. if they aint running to the kufaar, they turn to violence, sex and drugs. nin yaaban, you like to twists peoples words and make daft sarcastic remarks... i wouldnt wish a bad parent on you,,,,,but i wish Allah gives you an insight, so you could be a little more empathetic- (incase you little brain confuses sympathy and empathy...sympathy = feeling sorry for some one. empathy = being able to put your self in a persons shoes to understand the suffering that they are going through) sympathy is very easy for people to do, empathy is a lot harder.and many somali's lack it. when hitting a child for discipline,,,i sugest that somali's first tell the child that what they are doing is wrong, and if they do it again they will get smacked. if the child repeats the bad act, then they should get a smack, when getting the discplinary smack, the child should never be hit on the face,head, or chest.....infact the only areas that a parent is permited to hit are the hands (arms), feet(legs) and bottom, the parent should not over power and make the child feel helpless and weak, they should not use full force, and should not leave any blood, bruises or marks. im not against disciplin...but it must bdone right. when a somali parents hits a child, (from many sources including mine) they hit everywhere and anywhere, they dont explain what the child did wrong-they just grap you and beat the shiit out of you. they are barberic and out-dated.... i think that we have to move forward..... 4get the calling those of us that dont agree with the somali dagaan, gaalo lovers.... we love our religion...and Islam does not permit the beatings that somali parents dish out!