I agree with some of you here, about the thin line between true friendship and the other side to it which is keeping up a facade until you think that person will reciprocate your feelings. Personally, im in the middle with this topic, yes female/male friendhips can work, as many of u have said b4, only if there's no attraction on each other by either party. Otherwise, sooner or later, one will like the other, and the other will resent the blissful bond broken because one would like to further the friendship. My only true guys friends(somali) are those that have girlfriends, and i like it that way because im secure that they are not after me, since they have someone to fill that void missing in a friendship. Therefore our friendship is all the better because it is not complicated by one or the other waiting to make his/her move....jealousy...etc.... I have more platonic guy friends of dif races other than mine because they seem to get the line should never be crossed... I do have one or 2 friends that are single, yet one of the two has already tried to surpass the line of friendship, and that resulted in his detention...(as in no more talking to him), the other, i feel like he's waiting for the right moment....somali men, some it seems, don't know the meaning fo friendship, if a girl is attractive, they think why not progress the relationship, since u got all u wanted in a friend...but they need to realize....there's a reason why ppl call some in their lives friends....so they can stay that way, for support, etc...not to complicate the matter... peace

Good thing i don't have to choose between the two in real life, since God blessed me with both...lol....but if i were a mere mortal, i'd choose brains...since beauty only lasts for a short time. sweet or sour

Lulla, isn't that a bit too much? somali guys are the best?alright, whatever rocks your boat, but let's not paint a picture about somali men, without adding their many short comings. How is it possible that in all the years you have lived, you haven't met a somali man who wasn't great? what planet are you living on? I'm not trying to be mean, but rather i wanna comprehend where you are coming from.As someone has pointing out, you were complaining about them not liking you for your mind, something along those lines. Are those men great as well? or are u a happy go lucky person? As for me, I think somali men are just like any other men, perhaps with a bit more laziness in their system, but as in any other cultures, there are the good ones and there are bad ones, depending what one encounters in their lifetime. My father was a great example of a good somali men, can't say the same for all my brothers, therefore i have mixed feelings about our men. peace

With recent reports showing that women's fertility is declining faster than people thought originally, which they thought started in the late 30's, now science shows that fertility starts declining as early as age 27. Now the question is, with alot of us sisters pursuing education and careers, how many of you would sacrifice your careers to have kids, since as you get older, your fertility will decline? If you wouldn't sacrifice your career, do you think society regards you as selfish? peace

sup funky, would i let my man marry another woman? Trust me girlfriend, i'm already a handful, he won't have time for another woman..lol..but on a serious note, i wouldn't because i believe in monogomous relationships, and if he feels like he wants another woman, well then he can do so with my blessing, after we divorce that is. even though islam allows polygamy, it doesn't however encourage it. The verse in the quran came at a time when men were dying in battles and women were left defenseless, so God allowed men to take these ladies into their home, and with marriage, it gives the woman honor by dweeling with a man. Men also need the permission of their wives, so then it becomes a matter between a couple, and it's for them to decide. As for me, since i can only have one man, he can only have me. ciao

lol, og_moti, u crack me up with your simple mind. I wish everything was as black and white as you claim it is, but life has many shades of gray that you seem unaware of. I can't believe u thought every couple was happy, they pretended, because our society frowns upon divorce or "drama". So get with the program bro, and start living in the real world. When did a woman's worth equate with her ability to cook? if all u wanted was a housekeeper, work hard and u too can afford a live in maid. If you want a wife however, it's a family effort what goes on on the household. As for kids growing up fatherless, there are many couples who are together, yet the father hardly spends time with his kids, but if a couple divorces, he can still see his kids. Just because a couple is together, doesn't mean it's the best thing for the child. I have a feeling though, that i am wasting my time trying to educate you, because you are so intent and immersed with ignorance. Have fun in your delusional world.

lol, og_moti, u crack me up with your simple mind. I wish everything was as black and white as you claim it is, but life has many shades of gray that you seem unaware of. I can't believe u thought every couple was happy, they pretended, because our society frowns upon divorce or "drama". So get with the program bro, and start living in the real world. When did a woman's worth equate with her ability to cook? if all u wanted was a housekeeper, work hard and u too can afford a live in maid. If you want a wife however, it's a family effort what goes on on the household. As for kids growing up fatherless, there are many couples who are together, yet the father hardly spends time with his kids, but if a couple divorces, he can still see his kids. Just because a couple is together, doesn't mean it's the best thing for the child. I have a feeling though, that i am wasting my time trying to educate you, because you are so intent and immersed with ignorance. Have fun in your delusional world.

Ever heard being original? too bad, look it up in the dictionary, then you might wanna think of your own comeback, instead of copying me. As for not sinking to my level, you can never in fact rise to my level, since only intellectuals are allowed, sorry old men are forbidden, so stick to your old folks home. It's obvious i'm talking to a grandpa, so i must ask for forgiveness since i was taught not to talk back to my elders.

Funky, i agree with you a 100%.As for the guy who psted this message, all i can say is that it is b.s., and you know it. I disagree with ur notion that there was balance in somalia, what era was that, pls remind me. There was never a balance, women were always doing more work than men, so let's get our facts straight. First of all, if somali men took care of their wives, most women wouldn't complain, but the sad fact is, most would rather "chill" with the boys, even though they are in their late 30's and 40s. They don't understand the meaning of responsibilities, and they should realize that there is more to raising a family than donating one's sperm. Somali women do not abuse the "west system" as you call it, you guys are just afraid that now there are repercusions when one abuses his wife, and there should be. No longer should women be silent and stay in an unhappy marriage just because the man is the provider. If you haven't noticed, these days women have jobs and do not need to dependent on a man, and you "men" hate it because you like the fact that through your financial support,(and some can't even provide that) you can control the women. Somali men need to enter the 21century, realize that the days of the dinausours are long gone. Without equality and respect, a marriage would not survive, and it goes both ways. So if somali men had dignity to begin with, their spouse would have no complaints, because he would be a true muslim who would treat his family as God has dictated, which doesn't coincide with the somali tradition of the woman being a maid, caretaker, caregiver, while the man acts as a "king" and doesn't do much beyond impregnanting his wife. (not all men are like this, but majority who complain are the ones that lost total control of their household, and those are the ones i am addressing). p.s.-what's up with somali men being afraid of educated women? are you guys truly that insecure? that is sad.

Hey funky, indeed we have gay somalis in our society, and many of them are still in the closet. Like the previous poster said, it could be because of the society that we know live in, and some people are easily more influenced than others. I do know one somali guy that is "out", but as they say, to each his own. Who are we to judge, they will get their just do in the hereafter.(i don't mean we should embrace them either).

Isn't it ironic that shaqsi has that message/proverb posted with his messages "no sin greater than ignorance", gee, you might wanna take a hint. Sad to say this "man", is the epitomy of ignorance and his words as all of us can see, are a product from rejection. Need a tissue? don't worry, there must be an idiot out there waiting for u, and you guys will make the perfect couple, dumb&dumber. Enjoy!

shaqsi, save the drama for your mama, lol..as they say, i don't remember running after you, so please, keep your ego in check. As for personal attacks, if you thought that was personal, then u certaintly understood that your insercurity was showing through your writing. As for me and funky being the women you talked about, we probably are your worst nightmare: educated, proud, ambition , take no b.s. kinda girls. So stick to bimbos who will think your frame of mind is that of an intelligent man.

highness, coulnd't have said it better.i'll leave it at that.

Damn, I can't believe some of you think it's a hard question. First of all, someone rapes you and commits a horrible crime here on earth and in the afterlife, so now you're gonna turn around and kill someone who has not chosen to be the product of a vicious act? The baby didn't ask to be brought into this world, therefore it's not up to you yo take it out of it. Call me crazy, but i believe abortion is haram in islam, and if you guys subscribe to that religion, you'd know your answer. I personally would keep the baby, since Allah, is merciful and would help me deal with the situation. Even though i wouldn't do this, if u cant deal with the baby, give it up for adoption, that way it has a chance in life. peace

Shaqsi, you've demonstrated to all of us here that you are afraid of the modern woman who has for the most part her head on her shoulders and is able to make decisions for herself. Instead, you want a sheep herder, who will follow you blindling, and will say "how high", when you say "jump!". If you want a woman without a brain, there are many mental hospitals that you can go and meet women who have no control of their thoughts, therefore you can mold them into the neat little package you're looking for. You are clearly afraid of feminists, without knowing what they stand for, instead, it seems that Lorena Bobbit really struck a nerve, when she decided to take a lil' souvenir from her husband.Rather than putting b.s. on the net, why don't you crack open a book and really try to understand women b4 u classify ppl, other than that, all i can say is that the one word that best describes you is INSECURE. Deal with it, but i guess since manhood hasn't kicked in yet, it'll be a while b4 u truly comprehend women.

one word can't really sum up an individual, but if i had to pick one, it would be sarcastic. peace

Hey mr nonsense, was I supposed to laugh? Remind me next time.Sorry but the truth hurts, too bad you can't handle constructive criticism. After all, you are the typical somali man. Enough said.As for those names, you'd eat your words one glance at me, so stick to your janitorial jobs, seems the fumes got to ur miniscule brain.

Damn, some of you are too harsh, like commonsense, (who should think twice about using this nickname), and kool_kat, who's jumpin' on the sis, who shouldn't judge even if u think some reasons are "b.s". Regadless if some of you think her reasons aren't valid, they are however her reasons. She's not asking if she should have kids, she asked who would marry her without bearing children? so b4 u jump down her throat, stick to the question at hand. Now, sis i think u have every right not to have kids if that's your choice, but b4 getting involved with anyone, they have the right to know your thoughts on this issue because they may get attached to u emotionally, and then get hurt when they find out. So be upfront about future b/f's, and there's someone out there for everyone, so good luck. p.s.-in case your open to marrying non-somalis, i think ur search would be wider if u included muslim men, which in my book religion is more important than culture.