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NGONGE

How Do I Love Thee!

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NGONGE   

People worry about love too much these days. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to hear it out loud. The word is so overused that it had become very boring now.

 

I was sitting in front of the TV the other day and watching one of those documentaries that make no sense nor increase the viewer's knowledge at all, I think it was about some Peruvian Astronauts that wanted to go to the moon but had no rocket.

 

My wife walked into the room and sat down opposite me. She was sitting down for a good two minutes before I realised that she was not looking at the TV but rather looking at ME!

 

Me: What's wrong?

 

Her: Nothing.

 

Me: Well stop staring at me in this way then.

 

Her: I was not staring at you, I was thinking.

 

Me: What about?

 

Her: Hmmm

 

Me: Ok. Carry on thinking in peace, I am going to watch my documentary.

 

Her: How much do you love me?

 

Me: Why? What have I done now?

 

Her: Nothing. I am just asking.

 

Me: It's such a random question. We are married, woman. Married people don't ask such questions. What are you up to?

 

Her: Nothing. I was just wondering. REALLY.

 

Me: Are your entire clan coming over to stay again?

 

Her: Huh? No they are not, silly.

 

Me: Did you get carried away in the Sales and spend more than you should have?

 

Her: Stop being suspicious. The thought crossed my mind and I asked. It's ok. You don't have to answer now.

 

Me: Well, you have to agree it was such a strange and random question.

 

Her: Asking you how much you love me is strange?

 

Me: Err. No. No. Just the timing is strange.

 

Her: Is there a right time for asking such questions? What? Like when you're about to die and I'm trying to get you to sign everything in my name?

 

Me: See? Now that is more like it. I knew there was something behind the question.

 

Her: What have I done in my life to end up with an unromantic man like you? Uff! Lets just change the subject.

 

Me: I can be romantic. I am romantic. Asking you about the timing of your question does not mean I am not romantic.

 

Her: You're not supposed to ask though. You're supposed to count the ways you love me.

 

Me: Damn that Browning woman.

 

Her: Who?

 

Me: Never mind. Anyway, I told you already. We are married and married people are not supposed to keep going on about this love nonsense.

 

Her: Says who?

 

Me: Everyone. It is a fact my dear. I don't have to tell you I love you. You should know I do. Why else are you still married to me?

 

Her: You could fall out of love you know.

 

Me: The day I fall out of love is the day I'll be living elsewhere with a busty 21 year old girl on my lap.

 

Her: Stop talking nonsense. What would a young girl want with a fat old man like you?

 

Me: Ask yourself, dear. Weren't you 21 when I first met you?

 

Her: That was different. Anyway, lots of people live in loveless marriages you know.

 

Me: That's very healthy. I bet they never get asked suspicious questions like the one you just asked. Maybe we should declare ours a loveless marriage.

 

Her: When have I ever used love as a way to trick you into doing anything?

 

Me: You mean apart from when I had to pay for that wedding? Or your new car? Or the time I lent your best friend most of my savings?

 

Her: But I thought you were ok with all those things.

 

Me: I was. I still am. I am only trying to prove a point. In fact, I can still clearly remember your words on all three occasions. They went something like: If you really love me you will.......

 

Her: That was just a figure of speech. It did not mean I only believed you loved me when you did what I asked. I know you love me regardless.

 

Me: Aha! AHA!

 

Her: No. No. This is different. Don't try to twist my words.

 

Me: I did nothing of the sort. All I said was Aha!

 

Her: I know you love me; I just want to know HOW MUCH.

 

Me: You can't quantify love.

 

Her: TRY!

 

Me: Ok. I love you more than a Peruvian Astronaut loves the Moon.

 

Her: BE SERIOUS.

 

Me: I love you more than our next-door neighbour loves his wife (did you see how they walk around holding hands and giggling like a pair of teenagers?).

 

Her: Don't compare me to that lot please. Anyway, what else?

 

Me: Like a fat kid loves cake?

 

Her: BE SERIOUS.

 

Me: Ok. Ok. I love you so much that I sometimes wish you were dead so that I can lock myself up at home and live the life of a hermit who endlessly laments his great loss.

 

Her: God! That's awful.

 

Me: That's love, baby.

 

Her: You know what, I will never ever ask you this question again and if you ever worry that I am about to die, please kill yourself first.

 

Me: Will you cry over me though?

 

Her: For a day or two, maybe. I'll eventually have to get on with my life though.

 

Me: That's what I love about you. You're very practical.

 

Her: So there are things you love about me?

 

Me: Err. YEAH, few things.

 

Her (standing up and preparing to leave the room): By the way, my mother is coming to stay for the next two weeks. She's not feeling well and thinks a change of environment might help.

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Malika   

^Looooool..a typical scene that one is,your lucky you were not woken up after a late night session with shishaa and jaad to be asked the same question..lol

 

:D marriage life is a bliss!

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Cute conversation :)I asked my husband one morning a year ago how come he doesn't say I love you anymore. He said 'I made you malawax and shaah for breakfast this morning while you were sleep, if that's not saying I love you I don't know what is'. Walaa waa runtaa intaa idhi ayaan curaacdeydii iska cunay. Sometimes words are not necessary.

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Blessed   

Stop it guys, you're spoiling it for Aaliyah :D

 

LOOOL@ Malika.. waa lagugu mirqaamey, dheh. 'Eww!' and 'Awwww' in equal measures. LOOL

 

p.s Tis a nice way of picking a fight when bored.. :D

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:D Ngong.

If she should have asked that question the right time, she would have gotten quicker I Love you very much reply. I mean, all the love questions should be reserved in bed time.

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MZanzi   

Lol@duceeysane

 

Ngonge... How do u tell someone you love them if you have no courage to say it? .badow baa tahay sheekhuna you should have said ..Macaanto xabaabi aduunka adiga aan kugu jeclahay Lol

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Aaliyyah   

why do you always post a conversation you had with your wife, or daughter or a family member. lol shouldn't they be confidential....dude you must be bored icon_razz.gif

 

Blessed they are spoiling for me?? huh? what are you talking abt girl?

 

salaam

 

p.s. You should tell your wife you luv her often unless she's old fashion she seems to not care....bacda madow inay ku tuurtay aheed..you have a miskiin for a wife :D

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:D:D @Ngonge ,,,

 

 

I didn't know you were that dumb to argue with a woman niyow ,,,,

 

Tips for Men:

 

- Whenever such question is asked don't say a word, just close the door, grab her to bed and do the right thing once, twice and trice then see if she asks the same question again for a year or two ....

 

- Or else, get closer to her and start kissing her like nobody's business for about 15 continuous minutes then see what happens,,,,, she'll sleep at your lap while you continue watching your favorate documentary.

 

- Or pretend something bites you, jump up and down screaming. You can shout SNAKE SNAKE until she is scared and runs away from the room. She will forget what she was asking once you sattle.

 

 

The issue is that if you simply answer the damn question and say YES she will continue to say HOW MUCH then ,,,,,, go back and read the above story ,,, :D

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Originally posted by J.a.c.a.y.l.b.a.r.o:

:D:D
@Ngonge ,,,

 

 

I didn't know you were that dumb to argue with a woman niyow ,,,,

 

Tips for Men:

 

- Whenever such question is asked don't say a word, just close the door, grab her to bed and do the right thing once, twice and trice then see if she asks the same question again for a year or two ....

 

- Or else, get closer to her and start kissing her like nobody's business for about 15 continuous minutes then see what happens,,,,, she'll sleep at your lap while you continue watching your favorate documentary.

 

- Or pretend something bites you, jump up and down screaming. You can shout SNAKE SNAKE until she is scared and runs away from the room. She will forget what she was asking once you sattle.

 

 

The issue is that if you simply answer the damn question and say YES she will continue to say HOW MUCH then ,,,,,, go back and read the above story ,,,
:D

:D is that how it is supposed to be handled ? hmm might come in handy .. *taking notes*

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MZanzi   

Originally posted by J.a.c.a.y.l.b.a.r.o:

[QB

 

- Whenever such question is asked don't say a word, just close the door, grab her to bed and do the right thing once, twice and trice then see if she asks the same question again for a year or two ....

 

 

:D
[/QB]

LoL the simple way

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Kool_Kat   

Originally posted by J.a.c.a.y.l.b.a.r.o:

Tips for Men:

 

- Whenever such question is asked don't say a word, just close the door, grab her to bed and do the right thing once,
twice and trice
then see if she asks the same question again for a year or two ....

While that isn't a bad idea, odayga twice or trice sheekada mawadikaraa waaye hee? :D

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