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Warrior of Light

Pure swahili one

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Baada ya Makame kushangazwa sana na matumizi ya jina la faki katika lugha ya wazungu alishindwa kustahamili na kumtafuta rafiki yake Faki ili kumuuliza sababu ya jina la Faki kutumiwa sana na wazungu na hususan wamarekani weusi.

Hapo chini ni mdahalo ulivyokuwa:?

 

 

Makame: Faki kwa nini wamarekani wanapenda kutaja jina lako kila wakati wanapoongea, hususan wanapokwaruzana kwa hasira utasikia tu faki yu wakiwa wanamaanisha wewe faki.

 

 

 

Faki: Makame unajua wakati wa biashara ya utumwa tulikuwa tunapenda sana kuwatumikia hawa watu basi ikawa kila wakati wanataja jina la Faki mpaka wakalizowea jina la Faki.

 

 

 

Makame: Mbona baba aliniambia kuwa wengi waliokuwa wanatumwa na wazungu walipenda kutumia jina la Makame?

 

 

 

Faki: Basi inawezekana kuwa wanalitumia jina la makame lakini hatujawahi tu kulisikia, hebu tujaribu kuwasikiliza kwa makini pengine itakuwa wanalitumia

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Kuna jamaa na mshkaji wake walikwenda mazikoni walipofika

muda simrefu jamaa mmoja akaza kuangusha kilio.Kili cha kweli kweli manake.

Ikawa jamaa waloudhuria pale wakawa wanakwenda kumpa pole. Mshkajiwake huyo jamaa akawa anawambia kua huyu sie mfiwa tumekuja kutua pole tu kama nyie.

Muhudhuriaji moja akauliza.

sasa huyu kinachomliza kitu gani.?

 

Mlizi akamjibu muhuthuriaji alieuliza.

Kua ndevu zako (mzuzu) umenikumbushia beberu wangu alokufa siku tatu zilizopita.

 

lahaula.

Muhudhururiaji mjibiwa bado kidogo azimie.

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Mmakode.(A Makonde -Southern Tz african tribe famous for their ebony carving)

 

Aliulizwa kwanini vinyago vyenu vinakuwa vizuri kuliko watoto wenu mnaozaa.

(Was asked why is it their carvings are better looking than the children they produce?)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Mmakonde alijibu.(He answered)

 

Vinyango tunachengenyeza mchana kwenye muangaza mkubwa kabicha.

(The carvings we make them in broad daylight)

 

Watoto wetu tunachengeneza usiku hatuoni.

(We make children in darkness we cant see.)

 

Doh

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MMASAI ALIZUA MTAFARUKU HUKO MERERANI BAADA YA KUAGIZA CHAI NA MKATE MZIMA, AKACHUKUA MKATE WOTE NA KUUCHOVYA KWENYE KIKOMBE CHA CHAI NA KUULA, KUTAHAMAKI CHAI IMEKAUKA KIKOMBENI, MAMBO YALIKUA WAKATI WA KULIPA,

 

CASHIER, "CHAI NA MKATE NI MIAMBILI BABAANGU,"

MMASAI, "MIMI NALIPA MKATE TU,"

CASHIER "KWANINI MSEE"

MMASAI "NIMEKULA MKATE, SIKUNYWA SHAI"

CASHIER"NANI AMEKUNYWA CHAI?"

MMASAI"MMKATE UMEKUNYWA SHAI MIMI NIMEKULA MKATE TU NA SILIPI SHAI"

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Macalin   

YAKHE VIPI, MBONA KIJIKO KINCHANIKA

... :D

 

Sade,Lahawlaa....Swahili chako ni deadlY,Lo miaka Ashara Karibu Sasa Tangu Ni some Swahili Sanifu Kali.....Haidhuru, nifahamu Nyote(or some).

 

The Joke Of the Carvings was off the HIZZOKK wallahi....

 

Ya Faki Yu..LOL that was something Else alltogether

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raula   

looool :D Ati silipi Shai/chai..one clever Mmasai....jo! Basi tulikuwa twafanya hivi hivi..back in chuo..once they give us Bofulo.. ;)

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Paragon   

Faki: Makame unajua wakati wa biashara ya utumwa tulikuwa tunapenda sana kuwatumikia hawa watu basi ikawa kila wakati wanataja jina la Faki mpaka wakalizowea jina la Faki.

MMASAI "NIMEKULA MKATE, SIKUNYWA SHAI"

CASHIER"NANI AMEKUNYWA CHAI?"

MMASAI"MMKATE UMEKUNYWA SHAI MIMI NIMEKULA MKATE TU NA SILIPI SHAI

"YAKHE VIPI, MBONA KIJIKO KINCHANIKA?!

hehehehehehehe loooooooooooooooool man I miss east african jokes .....so deadly funny lol

 

Sade asante mzee...aah! nilicheka sana mpaka nianza kuhekaheka...na wajamaa wangu wanadhani nime kuwa mwendawazimu! lol

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Forgive for this one...

Hili nadhani zaidi ni onyo kuliko kichekesho. Inatokana na tabia ya baadhi ya watu kufanya vitendo vya kujamiana mbele ya watoto au kulala na watoto chumba kimoja.

 

Watoto wawili wadogo, wakike na kiume walitaka kujaribu yale waliowasikia wazee wao wanafanya.

1. mmoja akaanza: tuvue nguo - wakavua nguo

2. Nipandie juu - yule mvulana akampandia juu ya kichwa

3. Baada ya muda yule mvulana akawa anamuuliza mwenziwe, tukae kwa muda gani ndio tuanze kusikia hiyo "raha"?

4. Kile kasichana kikajibu " sijui lakini mie naona kichwa kishaanza kuniuma"!!!!

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kulikua na wavuta bangi na hiyo sehemu ambayo wanavutia pana uchochoro mwembamba kiasi ya kupita mtu mmoja tu,siku moja kati ya wavuta bangi hao alitoa ushauri kama huu ufuatao

'kesho tukija hapa kuvuta bangi itatupasa kuusukuma huu ukuta, walobaki wakaafikiana na mwenzao' sawa.

 

siku imefika wavuta bangi hao wakavuta bangi ikawapata na hapo ahadi yao ikaanza lakini kabla hawajasukuma ukuta mmoja kati yao akatoa ushauri kama wavue nguo zao ili wasipate joto,kuna kibonge akawekwa karibu na zile nguo,kazi ikaanza punde si punde alipita mpita njia na akaona maajabu ya hao jamaa jinsi wanavyofanya na alipoona zile nguo nzuri na viatu vizuri alikwenda kuvichukua na kukimbia

sasa wavuta bangi wanaulizana' vipi jamaa ukuta unasukumika'

yule kibonge alijibu' inaonesha tumeusukuma mbali sana maana tokea nguo naziona mpaka sasa sizioni tena inaonyesha ziko nyuma saana'.

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Kulikuwa na msafiri mmoja alikuwa akisafiri kwa kutumia usafiri wa basi.

Yule jamaa baada ya kuangaza angaza akaona siti nzuri akakaa karibu na dirisha. baada ya muda mfupi safari ikaanza. Yule jamaa akatoa sigara yake akaishika mkononi.. mhudumu akamsogelea na wakaanza mabishano mafupi:

Mhudumu: Samahani mzee si ruhusa kuvuta sigara ndani ya basi mzee.

Jamaa: Nani anavuta sigara?

Muhudumu: si hiyo hapo umeishika mkononi?

Jamaa: Kwa mshangao! Mimi sijavuta sigara nimeishika tu. mbona sisi sote humu ndani ya basi tumevaa viatu je tunatembeaa???

Mhudumu: Aa! mmekaa.(anakataa)

Jamaa: Basi na mie sivuti nimeishika tu.

Mhudumu: Asante mzee.(huku anaondoka).

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habari jamani kulikuwa na baba na mwa nae wa kiume wanaongea

baba:mwanangu mke uliyemchagua anakufaa?

mtoto:ananifaa sana baba kwani wote tuna tabia sawa ya kukojoa kitandani kwa hiyo hukuna wa kumcheka mwenzake

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Swahili-English Dictionary icon_razz.gif

 

kufahamu=die desire

sababisha=seven argue

pigania=hit intention

kazimia=job hundred

lalamikia=sleep tails

kuchekesha=nails vigil

kufanikiwa=dying is lonely

fanikiwa=profession lonely

paramia=scrape hundred

gombania=scold intention

kulalia=eat cry

kucharuka=nails jump

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