Sign in to follow this  
- Femme -

True Job Application

Recommended Posts

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

 

NAME: Greg Bulmash

 

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

 

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in

a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

 

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If

that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

 

EDUCATION: Yes.

 

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

 

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

 

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

 

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

 

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

 

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

 

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM

LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

 

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

 

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

 

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing

that now.

 

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

 

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NoVa   

loool, whaat...that's a nice job application'...i don't mind doing that for the fun of it..lol..kind gave me an idea'...keep them comin' girl.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this