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sharma-arke451

campus girls

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Juxa;743608 wrote:
Sharmarke, your statement about caro iyo emotion shows how little you know about women.

 

Marka anigu waxan ku dhihi lahaa, practice what you breach, first stop looking, lower your gaze. second remember qoftii ceeb muslim astura isagana tiisa alle baa astura.

 

instead of pointing fingers, start the change with you first, then your surrounding

Its really unfortunate and unrealistic of you juxa, to change the theme of thread or in that matter my intention to finger pointing. qof an ceebtiisa so bandhigay majiraan, ilaa waxaan soo bandhigay a social problem oon xalkiisa rabay in wax laga ifiyo. Saad ufahantay ma ahan walalo.

Tan labaad, hadee armaadaan ogeyn in lower-gareeyo my gaze.?? Thats why i said emotions iyo carada.

 

Its paramount to comprehend. I said '' time tested solution,,,,,,,

 

There's a difference between cebeeyn iyo bararujin dhib bulsheed,

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Juxa   

Unfortunate is the key word here, ileyn wixii xunba xaawaa lehe!

funnily i never seen a dude posting Baraarujin for the lost men/boys

 

Carry on walaalkiis

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Juxa;743680 wrote:
Unfortunate is the key word here, ileyn wixii xunba xaawaa lehe!

funnily i never seen a dude posting Baraarujin for the lost men/boys

 

Carry on walaalkiis

equality armaan laga hadli heeynin??

I wonder why the gender issue is being raised here?? Hadee macnuhu ma in hadii laga hadlo gabdho arday ah xaalkooda, ragana ma laazimbaa in laga hadlo??? Mise, maadama this thread is about girls, waa in un arimaha girls-ka kaliya looga hadlaa??

Unukaa wax aragni!!!!

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Aaliyyah   

^sharmarke bas hadaba u said all there's to say about campus girls lol..

 

hada ino fur campus bois thread la dhoho, sidan si ma aha in gabadha uun wax laga shegee lol :D

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AYOUB   

Aaliyyah;742835 wrote:
I don't think anyone should worry about their 18 years old daughter if they instilled in her good values and taught her diin!!..I honestly don't think I matured much from when I was 18 ..that is to say sida hada ahay baan aha oo waan kala garanyay wixi sax ah iyo wixi qaladka ah...

and 18 is the age that ppl in teh west chose, in Islam you have to be mature by 15...khalaas!

 

ninki gabadhii uu dhalay akhlaaqxuma uga cabsanaya at 18 waxaan filaya si wacan umu soo korin ...and that its too damn late to worry about her.

 

And, girls dress in the west a certain way. That is not limited to just university campus. You either accept it or move to a muslim country...kolay adiga ta kula dhalatay iyo ta dhashay uun ba masuuliyad ka sarantahay..raise them well. Advice them and then put your trust in Allah swt...

 

with that been said, we should also focus on our brothers and those of you who have sons your sons...waxa moda gabdhaha in aad loga walwalo oo wilasha somaliyad iska ilaaween oo yago melaha jooga wada akhlaaqxun oo dibjir ah..

 

my 2 cents

 

salaam

The issue here is; when should Muslim/Somali girls leave their parent/guardian's home? What does our diin/culture say about that? Let's stop clutching at straws and focus on that, shall we?

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Aaliyyah   

Clearly our religion or culture doesn't encourage it. In fact when I was starting my undergrad at 18 I wanted to do it in another city, but my parents said choose one of the universities in our city...and that there was no room for negotiation lol..so at the end of the day it is up to the parents if they will allow their children...but at the some point somali parents need to trust their daughters. Being overprotective sometimes doesnt cut it...

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I think 18 is old enough for girls to take care of themselves well enough to go away to university. Two of my sisters went away to university and I think it was a pretty good experience for them. Obviously if you're studying in a Muslim country, it's even better as there wouldn't be exposure to the binge-drinking that goes on at British institutions. That seems to be the only real problem. That and perhaps the lack of Somali student societies (there are usually Muslims ones in every Uni).

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Aaliyyah   

Good to hear tht Val. And, I agree that 18 years old is mature enough to look after herself..., hadii 18 wax loga cabsanayo ma kolay waxkale oo caqli ah ka dib kuso kordhahaya. Ismaodhan.

But, I guess our parents generation..many of them are overprotective. But, when we become parents I think we are going to be a bit more lenient. At least I know I would allow my daughter to move out at 18..but I will make sure that 18 yearskaas aan korinayo in aan dhaqan diin iyo luqadeda baro! masuuliyadaas hadaan kasoo baxo inta ka dib ilaahay in la talo saarto moye waxkale ma jiraan.

 

salaam

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jamalo   

Any Somali parent who permits their daughter to move to a uni campus is grossly lacking Islamic morals. Whether conciously or unconciously, they would be helping to expose her to all sorts of debauchery that comes along with the immorality of campus life. As for the responsible adult somali women, they should pour more emphasis on gaining the compulsory Islamic education & settling down to establish a family, rather than wasting their precious time inhabiting campuses studying for valueless lessons.

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Aaliyyah   

^Education is important part of life. Tan kale markaad waxbaratid ood isku filantahay ayuu ninkuna ku ihtiramaya..

We live a different time than our parents, gabadh isku filan un aya aduunkan ka dabalanasa (im not saying she shouldnt stay home to take care of her kids and family..but a man should know that if he walks out of that door waad isku filantahay that way he will respect you even more..)

Things were different in our parents time..ihtiraam waad heli hadad xita iskool waliga soo dhigan oo caruurtaada ku filnaantid..laakin hada waxa ma shaqeenaso..kolay aniga saas bay ila tahay!

 

as for the settling part...guurku wa calaf iyo qof wacan in aad heshid! u dont just settle for the sake of getting married!..

 

salaam

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jamalo   

Aaliyyah;743879 wrote:
^Education is important part of life. Tan kale markaad waxbaratid ood isku filantahay ayuu ninkuna ku ihtiramaya..

We live a different time than our parents, gabadh isku filan un aya aduunkan ka dabalanasa (im not saying she shouldnt stay home to take care of her kids and family..but a man should know that if he walks out of that door waad isku filantahay that way he will respect you even more..)

Things were different in our parents time..ihtiraam waad heli hadad xita iskool waliga soo dhigan oo caruurtaada ku filnaantid..laakin hada waxa ma shaqeenaso..kolay aniga saas bay ila tahay!

 

as for the settling part...guurku wa calaf iyo qof wacan in aad heshid! u dont just settle for the sake of getting married!..

 

salaam

 

Utterly true. Education liberates ppl from the shackles of ignorance & darkness. I agree with most of what you have said. However, in regards to ihtiraam, I reckon you'd notice a twofold increase of deep respect if you choose to pursue more Islamic knowledge, be diligent in your prayers and to live deen before dunya. That would reflect your love of God which is what makes the real difference. Worldly education is important but so is deen twice as much.

You are right on guurku. Wa calaf. Having said that, somali women should decrease the standards they have set up for themselves.There is nothing wrong having standards but fostering delusional and unrealistic blueprint of life is altogether another thing. It must be noted that marriage institution & family life, in the West and now parts of Asia too, are rapidly being destroyed. Therefore I urge my fellow somali brothers and sisters to get married at the first istance. For the ladies, there is no perfect men but only in Jannah.

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@ ayoub you hit the nail on the head.

 

@aaliyyah, nicely said. But most men don't appreciate much naag lacag leh, for the single reason of power sharing thing. Dee weey kugu guuri camal. That's what i have seen about some men, if not most.

Age 18 is quite an adult, but not an absolute, because the peer pressure is at peak around this time, and many other factors are in play, like the curious mind that wants to see the every side of the coin.

But at the end of the day, everything melts down to how the child grew up and what kind of morality his or her parents instilled in him or her.

aaliiyah, there's nothing like over protection.girl child needs more protection and that makes sence. Gabar waa hilib bisil, surely you can't let her go.

 

@jamalo can't accept more. What you said is the ideal life. i appreciate your golden contribution.

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AYOUB   

Aaliyyah;743851 wrote:
Good to hear tht Val. And, I agree that 18 years old is mature enough to look after herself..., hadii 18 wax loga cabsanayo ma kolay waxkale oo caqli ah ka dib kuso kordhahaya. Ismaodhan.

But, I guess our parents generation..many of them are overprotective. But, when we become parents I think we are going to be a bit more lenient. At least I know I would allow my daughter to move out at 18..but I will make sure that 18 yearskaas aan korinayo in aan dhaqan diin iyo luqadeda baro! masuuliyadaas hadaan kasoo baxo inta ka dib ilaahay in la talo saarto moye waxkale ma jiraan.

 

salaam

What does "Ilaahay in la tala saarto" mean in practice? Does it mean 18 is old enough for a girl to move out of her parent/guardian's household? I am not a scholar but I think you'd find the "talo" is girls should not move out just because they're 18. If you know otherwise, pls let me know because I don't think it is minor issue that can be decided in a such cavalier manner.

 

Valenteenah.;743817 wrote:
I think 18 is old enough for girls to take care of themselves well enough to go away to university. Two of my sisters went away to university and I think it was a pretty good experience for them. Obviously if you're studying in a Muslim country, it's even better as there wouldn't be exposure to the binge-drinking that goes on at British institutions. That seems to be the only real problem. That and perhaps the lack of Somali student societies (there are usually Muslims ones in every Uni).

There's a lot that goes on with the binge-drinking, but that's besides the point. 18 or not, girls should not move out of their guardians' homes. Your sisters example is like me saying; my brothers had "mixed" wedding *and it was good experience for them. Good experience maybe, but if you look at the big picture it was wrong and should not be encouraged. Don't even know what you meant by "go away", but, your sisters will take a long time to truly *assess the impact moving out had on their lives - especially when it usually means compromises like paying back loans with interest etc.

 

Anyways, enough preaching, and like the mullahs say....wa billahi tawfiiq.

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Blessed   

^Interesting points, Ayoub. I think the 'mahram' issue is concerned with travel and safety associated with it but one does not need a mahram to live with them. My younger cousin went to study under a Shiekh in the ME a few years ago and the only issue was that she needed a mahram to take her there. Off course, her experience does not compare to studying in a secular western university but all of the fatwa that I came across with regards to this issue are concerned with the travel aspect. Personally, I would prefer to stay with my family and my children (irrespective of gender) to do the same but sometimes it becomes a neccesity to study away.

 

 

Qarnaqsi,

Please explain the Sufia Yousuf connection here? :confused: . There seems to have been so many issues going on with that family.

 

Jamalo,

 

As for the responsible adult somali women, they should pour more emphasis on gaining the compulsory Islamic education & settling down to establish a family, rather than wasting their precious time inhabiting campuses studying for valueless lessons

You can not be serious?? Educated, professional female workforce is nesseary if we want to establish a healthy Islamic society. Also, studying the deen is integral to the life of the Muslim, you don't leave it or cast it aside because of your concerns with dunya.

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