runawayvirgin Posted March 24, 2004 Well, I'am not really PMSing or anything but the truth just hit me today.... I've realized that I really do avoid men who are interested in me! It's like the word NO is much easier than "Yes, I'll go out with you"! Most of my friends are guys, and you can't emagined how many times I face the same scenario of losing one of my buddies because he's interested! I'am not bla blaying or anything, but I think I need professional help! For crying out loud women in my age(21) are cool with having someone in their life or knowing what they want in a partner! I don't want to be the black sheep here!!!!!!!!!! but it's like they discontinued what I want in men before I figure out! Thank you for listenning.....offer warm Advide. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted March 24, 2004 advices 1. we all are muslims. 2. our rules are the islamic law 3. what are u doing with guy friends, what happen to a sister friends 4. if the guy doesn't want u for marriage, keep saying no to them 5. become more strict, and stop talking to every man, men like that, and respect that in women, but if u blah blah with every men, who will trust u as his faithful woman. 6. again, if u r not intrested in marriage now, since most of the sisters here at 21 are still busy with their education, and building their career, keep saying NO SIS. 7. when u ready for marriage, then the answer is YES. THE REST OF THE ADVICES, of the women advice they girls will give it to you. sorry haddaan kaa jajibiyay but somebody have to tell the trueth, no going out in our islam. ppl get it in to your heads... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuCkY Posted March 24, 2004 I WIsh I COuLd HeLp U GirL with Ur DiLemma But I Cant.Maybe THe Others Can.ALL I Can Say is When THe TIme Comes It WiLL Happen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7_steps_2_Heaven Posted March 24, 2004 well said Qac Qaac...sis he pretty much covered what needs to be said...but in your heart, you will know know when it's time to say YES...nimanka mala hor kaco...xiisahaha aa lahu badiyaa. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HONEY-D Posted March 24, 2004 I've realized that I really do avoid men who are interested in me! It's like the word NO is much easier than "Yes, I'll go out with you"! the question you need to ask yourself is do you see yourself spending time with them if not than dont bother the likelihood is they dont match your criteria. Most of my friends are guys, and you can't emagined how many times I face the same scenario of losing one of my buddies because he's interested! Your not alone on this no matter how long you have known them or how close you are once they reveal their feelings towards you things will never be the same you can either try your luck and see what happens or you can lie to them and say you're seeing some1 to save your friendship. I'am not bla blaying or anything, but I think I need professional help! For crying out loud women in my age(21) are cool with having someone in their life or knowing what they want in a partner! Not every woman knows what she wants in a man dont put yourself down thinking you're the odd one out. does the word peer pressure ring a bell thought so dont panic you're still young and fresh you've got plenty of time ahead of you use it wisely. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bambina Posted March 24, 2004 Salam Alaykum , Dear Runaway , being 21 without no man in your life doesnt necessarily mean that you are doomed forever when it comes to relationships.There are many girls who are even older than you who dont have men , because they havent got the chance to meet their other halves. The question you should ask yourself is if you want to have a man just to be cool like your girlfriends or if you want to be confident about yourself and what you want in a man ? You should also consider the fact that things are calaaf and you have to be patient.Your patience will be inshallah rewarded. Look in a man what would be best for you ,such as his deen .If you are not ready to have a relationship , always say NO.And at last but not the least , the key is to look for marriage not a short-term relationship.Good luck sis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted March 24, 2004 Runaway^Virgin now I know why you choice this particular surname ...So you need advice eh well here is my advice to you...It doesn't matter what other women are cool with, you have to be cool with yourself...Uniqueness is a good quality in a person not a bad one...You are only 21 there is no rush to get in relationships or know absolutely what you want in partner, because those things change as we grow older and become wiser...When the time is right and the man you will know it...Be the black sheep and stand straight, because a black sheep covered in the color of everyone else is still a black sheep...Like you, i have a lot of male friends and run into same scenorio as you and i had learned few things: 1. Guys don't honestly in their heart believe or value friendship with female that much, particulary ours 2. Guys have mentality if the girl is nice and have some qualities they like why not just date her, atleast you could something out of it 3. Those ex-guy-friends who droped off were only looking for short term things and that's why they wanted a relationship with you rather than long-term friendship( i guess they didn't care for commitment with not benefits) 4. You personally didn't lose out 5. And the longer your friendships last with males you learn more of what you want and is important to you in life generally Just few points...Bottome line, be you and both happy and comfortable with just that...Hope I was helpful ...Bee bye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted March 24, 2004 runaway-virgin,no wander they call you runaway lol, always on the run just what qac qaac said will make u settle i guess! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runawayvirgin Posted March 24, 2004 Did I mentioned I missed this place A lot:) Thank you all very much for you advices.... Qac Qac: I really do respect the teachings of my religion, and I have no trouple with that. I'am not asking for a dating advice....that I can do on my own. I think I have rephrased my question wrong:) my concern is about my attitude of not wanting someone in my life, thinking that I can do better without one. Maybe my question should be something like: Do You Think There is Something Wrong With Me? Scorpion _Sista.......Thnx..you're awesome..mac mac! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
x_quizit Posted March 24, 2004 Runaway Virgin, actually I would rather a lot of girls be like you rather than throwing themselves at the first farax who shows any interest. No, there's nothing wrong with you, just because you are not ready or want a relationship at 21 doesn't make you a wierdo. You just haven't found the right one to turn your head and give a chance to, it will all happen in good time. It's also wise of you not to go out with your male friends, b/c most of the time, its not worth losing a friendship over, so make it clear to them that its always gonna be platonic btwn you guys, otherwise, all too often, men use the guise of friendship to try to sway you to like them. Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Curly Posted March 24, 2004 Runaway...sis i've got the same problem..I use to think I was a weirdo. No matter how fine the guy was, without thinking or even considering it i'd just see myself saying "NO" Point blank. then I'd kick myself afterwards...lol In a way sis I see it as a good thing but then again don't be afaird to bite your tongue...listen to what they're saying and actually consider it and show them you've given it some thought then if you want to say...yes or no! I tried it once and then I realised it was a big mistake...but i'm not putting you off. I'm no David blaine so I guess what i'm saying is when you're in the situation next just shut your mouth and listen! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 24, 2004 Scorpion_Sis said it well... R^V, if you FEEL a guy is right for you, believe me NO would not be in your vocab...@21, you're still young and have so much to learn...Take your time, ain't nothing wrong with you...Being with a man does not make you any cooler than you are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted March 24, 2004 Walaal – you say no for a reason, its probably because of your standards you said no, unlike so many girls around here. So don’t fret. Thers’ nothing wrong wit ya. And @ 21 you have along way to go before you can say am old. In due time I’A you will meet the person Allah has intended for yah. Good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted March 24, 2004 R.V... don't even sweat it sweety... as long u doing what u like. life should be great. and about the age.. girl 21 is nothing.. plus who said u gotta be doing whatever everyone else is doing.. girl do what u do the best. Masallama.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted March 25, 2004 see i told u sis, the other advices would come from the sisters... X quisit, i love your advice. but i am a man. how can i use it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
