OG Moti Posted March 2, 2004 research revealed that some women prefer to be beaten up by their husbands, but that is not our topic here.. beating is wrong whether wife or someone else full stop. it is inhumane and it violates the human rights, it shows sickness and the person who beats up his/her partner and any other human being needs to seek help and realize that these kind of actions is not acceptable by any logic or humanity or een religion, what are the couses of beating a wife, so many according to psychologists, i would like to mention some if possible: 1. is the environment and stress, in the case of somalis, western world have given women more rights that some women tent to abuse these freedoms which lead the man powerless and disrespected thus resolving to violance... 2. Cost of living is high and men working double shifts and when he gets home, confort is like asking for the impossible.. 3. Some men are just sick, need to show powers over ladies since his skinny a s s cant beat another man, so the alternative becomes the wife.. 4. The society including the wife herself accepting such act as normal and what is between man and wife should stay that way and no one should involve or she will be seen as shameless.. and many other reasons i dont want to get long on u guys ... but it is a society sickness that should never be tolirated ... peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted March 2, 2004 hey it is really childish, to beat each other back, women figthing back with their husbands, and men beating the hell out of the woman, the best thing to do is, to report to the local masjids, have some sheikhs to get into the situation, tell them everything he has done to u, then if he is even worser, divorce him, tell the kids, that their father used to beat their own mother, and move on. be strong. i also thing, somali comunities have to find a solution, for these kind of probelems, so that the wife doesn't make discisions like i would stay with him, what else can i do. what the hell is that mean, put your trust in allah, and move on sister. maybe u find a better husband, who will marry u, and all your kids..... believing yourself, and allah is the key... here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted March 2, 2004 ^^ well done bro good comments, OG_Moti ,one more reason why this trend " wife beating" continues is that many somali women stood up for thier husband after being beaten up,when they get intervention from either her relatives or other pple, Somalis say "Seedigaa ha isku xumaanina,Walashaa iskuma hubtide".So ladies also should understand their is no justification for this kinda behaviour. wife beaters don't deserve to have u. Caramel_Kisses: i wouldnt let my family get involved coz im the one who married him and i wouldnt want to worry them, i. walaashis when things go out of control,it is hard to imagine, and i think u should never rule out family mediation, if u were the victim ,god forbid!, it may not be as easy as think ,strong women can sink in bad marriage. wasalaam ali Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted March 3, 2004 Somealien when was the last time a road to doing the right thing was easy...But imagine had anyone who gotten afraid of the obstacles and rejections didn't follow through, where we would be as human race?...Women being abused in west, be it muslims or non, have chance to change or do something even if their husbands will find them in shelters or not...Because they have do the right thing and the rest is depend on Allah...The risk outweighs anything else, in my personal opionion...One kid removed from an abusive home is one less obusive husband or an abused wife...Even those women who say "oh but he still love me and i love him and he asked me to forgive him" know it in their heart it isn't true and it's a sick love...But again maybe they staying because their own mothers stayed in abusive relationships...So we can't just stay in the cycle we have to break it and yes there is prize to it...Be it death, outcastism, fear...So we shouldn't discourge women by saying well it's easy said than done, but find ways we can help, small or large Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SomeAlien Posted March 3, 2004 perhaps i wasnt clear, but suggesting that women stay in such relationships was the last thing on my mind i just didnt like the way people (in my eyes) were dismissing all the turmoils a woman in such a situation would face. i mean lets stop patting ourselves on the back cause weve never been put in that position, or are priviledged enough (in education, self esteem and family) to never be put in such a situation in the near future and accually acknowledge what that person would be going through. help those in such a situation to get out of it with yr support, not condescension(sp?). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuujiye Posted March 3, 2004 If a man beats his wife he should be killed. there is no excuse. How could you beat your wife? I don't understand. I was working in a case that somalian woman was abused by her husband and i was very ubset and couldn't even look at the guy's face. All i wanted to do was kick his *** 4real.... If my sister was abused by her husband i don't think he would have lived for a long time..I would hunt that motha-f down..... Man who beat their wifes are not real man they are animals. waraa waa xanaaqay i qabta nooh..waxaan oo kale meesha haku soo qorina dhiigaa nakacaayee... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted March 3, 2004 iska xanaaq, xooga yiriis oo xanaaq ah waaloo baahan yahay, haddii kale sidii gabdha inta jooga oo kale aa maanta dhan heshiis, iyo don't hurt his or her feeling aa lagu jiraa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted March 12, 2004 I see the blessing now in the fact that most somali guys are skinny, coz if he ever touched you, you could just get a cusion and sit on him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted March 12, 2004 ^^^^^ istaqfurulaah, we ain't that skinny walaalo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted March 12, 2004 From a personal testimonial..like some ladies said it-this subject matter is not easy. I mean, saying that I will pack my bags and leave is not that simple. Hell, even with broken bones, some end up staying. There are many reasons for this phenomena: but one of them can be when a horrandeous act like this becomes a custom(and Iam not generalizing all somalis-but majority)-otherwise know as "cultural norm through internalization"-its hard to erase even the traces. In once a patriachial society, an act of domination can become a cultural norm and be passed to generations. Therefore, because some children might have been exposed to this kind of violence in their childhood, it has become normal part of their family constituents. Moreover, even involving family members can sometimes be pain in the A**-a long tedious and complicated process-which sometimes the women has little say in the decision making. On the other hand, a 'conscious,'man would not beat up his wife with no apparent reason-there has to be a reason that initiates the cycle. Unless a woman/man, understands the intensity and repercussions of such violence, solving such an issue is hard-hence, many end up staying in abusive relationships due to fear of being killed, etc. For those who have been/are in abusive relationships, I hope they have the strengh and courage to get out-or do something about it. The best thing to do is Pray to Allah for the abuser and the abused-both to heel and be able to continue with their lives. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites