The role of dads and the unsung heroes of today..

[MR ORGILAQE]

Only those Affected need know this Quantum.They tend to generally represent the Female species especially if they are mighty close aheemmmm.....

[Baashi]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

 

The people that give fathers a hard time are those that suffer at the hands of absent, irresponsible and useless fathers. There is an abundance of single mothers, divorced women and abused women. They (and their children) are the ones who complain about the state of Somali fathers today.

Right on the head! Say it out loud again plz.

 

 

On a side note,

I realise that the ranting of young and single girls about the state of Somali husbands today could get on some married men’s nerves at times, but we’ve got to take it on the chin, people. These ladies are not talking from experience and are no threat. It’s when the wives start repeating these comments that one needs to start panicking (or purchase a sports bag – they’re water proof, unlike those black bags).

*Big smile I don't think you get the balls to utter these remarks in the "Araweelo" section of the forum. The angry, frustrated, young singles in that neck of the wood know too much and got a lot to say about this issue.

 

As to the topic, QL, Kruella, and Ngonge covered all (not quite but pretty much) the basis.

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Bashi looks like you have lit the fuse somehow

 

*Big smile I don't think you get the balls to utter these remarks in the "Araweelo" section of the forum. The angry, frustrated, young singles in that neck of the wood know too much and got a lot to say about this issue.

As for the fathers here is apiece I thought would help improve your relationship with ya children.

 

show your child love

 

 

 

Keep in mind that the first half of the reprimand described previously is the emotional side of it. You are letting your child know that you are angry at his behavior, not at him personally.

 

Now, you must take a deep breath and calm down after that short pause. When you are ready to speak again, make sure to touch your child in a way that lets him know you are on his side. For the next 30 seconds, quietly tell your child the rest of the truth -- that he is a good person and that you love him.

 

This part of the reprimand is the hardest thing a father will have to do because it requires a change in his own behavior. A good example of what to tell your child is, "Your behavior tonight was not good. But you are good! That's why I'm so upset. You're better than that kind of behavior, and I love you for the good person that you are." Then it's very important to give your child a hug to let him know that the reprimand is over. And remember, when it's over, it's over. Do not mention it again.

 

Finally, remember this phrase next time you'd like to implement Rule #1 of Fatherhood: "The more children like themselves, the more they like to behave themselves." This simple truth never fails to work.

 

Rule #2: Use Praise

Now, it is one thing to take action when your children misbehave, but it's even worse not to take any action when they do behave. When you do nothing to recognize your child's good behavior, he will start feeling neglected and will begin to misbehave again, but this time he will do it to get your full attention.

 

After you start implementing Rule #1, you must also begin implementing Rule #2: praising good behavior. Start paying more attention to what your child is doing right, and praise him for it with a simple hug. Make your child feel like he's a winner in your eyes, and this will lead to more self-confidence and self-esteem. In return, not only will he feel better about himself, but you will also feel closer and more loving towards him.

 

Rule #3: Use Goals

Now that we've looked at both the consequences of reprimands and praises for your child, the next step is to realize that your child is a human being who will eventually, one day, want to accomplish important things in his lifetime. Goal setting is the next step of being a good father.

 

You need to teach your child how to effectively set realistic goals. This can be as simple as asking what he'd like to do over the weekend with his friends, to what he'd like to be when he grows up. Make sure that your child writes his goals down all the time and takes a minute to read them over. Then, remind him if his current behavior matches his goals. If not, then he'll have to adapt.

 

That's it my friends. Yes, I'm done. 3 steps are all you need to become a better father. 3 steps and a new way of thinking. Becoming a better father is not a one-way street. You must begin to realize that you will also have to change in order to see positive results with your child and with your whole family as well

[Charisma]

Quantum

 

U hang in there coz u will make agood father, n we need lots of ur likes too .

[Nephissa]

The issue is deeper then magazine articles and rules put together by somebody.

No need to read a book to be a good father.Its a gift from above, it should be within you. You either got it, or don't.

 

I find the article funny and irrelevant. It talks about dads who want to be superdads/ participate in every aspect of their kids life, some want to change the cough medicine Dr.Mom to Dr.Dad etc; Would be nice to have such a man really, a man who's willing to share house chorus and responsibilities is every woman's dream. Unfortunately, its a rare quality found amongst our fellow male species. Certainly way too unrealistic/much of a task for a Somali dad to be asking. Ninka Somaliga ah oo leh Aniga baa Cunada Karinaya, Dharka maydhaya, Caruurtana haynaaya bal i tus walaal.

Realisticly how many of you in here are willing to be housedads? raise your hand please.

"

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°°°°°°°°°°°NONE°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

 

If Somali men would think/do as such, the number of children who go to bed each night without a father in the house would not increase, and Somali women wouldn't have to shoulder the burden alone.

 

Are you a father QL? If you do have a child, do all you can to meet the very serious obligations of fatherhood. Practice what you preach.

[Alle-ubaahne]

Bishaaro,

 

Hee maxaa dhacay, aniga iima jeedid. Haa diyaar baan u ahay inaan nabigeena ku daydo, oo caruurta haayo, xaaska markeeda nasiyo, dharka dhaqo, cuntada kariyo. Xagee ku hilmaamtay xadiiskii ahaa, "Kiina ugu aqyaarsan waa kan qoyskiisa/xaaskiisa u wanaagsan". Remember my sister that we're all muslims and should take the path of our prophet to make an excellent family.

 

Sax, waa runtaa waa jiraan dad ka booday wadadii dhabta aheyd ee loogu tala galay in la raaco, laakiin macnaheeda maaha inuusan jirin nin soomaali ah oo qoyskiisa hannan karin, iyadoo laga eegayo baarinimada, kartida iyo waxqabadka uu u leeyahay cidiisa. Fiiri abaayo, waxaa sharaf ah inuu ninka ku faano baarinimada uu xaaskiisa iyo caruurtiisa u hayo. Waa arin runtii laga soo wariyay saxaabada markii ey caruurtooda rabaan iney tusaan xikmada guurka ka danbeysa, waxay dhihi jireen, "si naagtaada baari kuugu noqoto, waxaa u noqotaa sida adoon ey leedhaay oo kale".

 

Dabcan waa fahmi kartaa, our human behavior has always this tendency to be a reciprocal feeling for each other, you do this to me, and I find myself doing the same or more to you. That is very simple, and our religion has squared those guidelines in a doable and practical perspectives.

 

ar maxaan luuqado aan isgaleen isku qasay!

[QUANTUM LEAP]

Charisma...Thanks for your vote of confidence. I hope and pray that Iam there for my kids if at all and hope to be selfless in their upbringing.

 

Bishaaro....Did you say Irrelevant? Bro. What is relevant to you? Is it the reproduction process? Or would you rather made sure what helped bring into this world turns out to be a good person and would represent you for the rest of your life and be an icon for you whilst you are gone.

 

Brother doing something in your own home is first of all a good example to your kids and wife and secondly its what we call labour of love. No lose here but gains. Something a lot of brothers and maybe some sisters need to address for what you soar is what you get.

 

Allaubahne - Pretty agood response brother and the mixture of the two languages makes sense too