Khayr Posted June 7, 2003 Salaamz, I don't think that any muslimah should live by herself. I don't even know that if she can leave her parents side if she's not married. I am sure not sure if this has been discussed in the axkham al-shariah. But you can see that situations like this, that Modesty is experiencing, would inshallah be minimized, if not Avoided ALL TOGETHER. Have you tried to tell him that you would call the police on him and get a restraining order? Threats do WORK!!! The man will steppp offff! Otherwise try what Ibado/Sthlm Lady said and start recording his msgs and take pictures of him when you see him. Tell him indirectly that you are 'Gunning for Him'. A sister should never live alone or with none muslims. You should change your number and change homes. But my questions are-HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? HOW MANY TIMES A NIGHT DOES HE CALL? WHAT MIGHT HAVE PROVKED HIM TO DO BECOME LIKE THIS? HOW OFTEN DOES HE COME TO YOUR HOME? The Police would ask you these questions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted June 7, 2003 Khayr, Oh please, save it bruh! Modesty, Hon, if this creep is really stalking you, don't think the worst can't possible happen to you. Why don't you try staying at a friend's place for a little while and see if his Jaceeyl for you dies off? If it wasn't serious, he should have already forgotten about you. If he is still calling/following you then its time for you to go to your nearest store and buy a mase (pepper spray), always walk home with a friend or two, have your cellphone ready at all times and always ALWAYS be on alert. Whatever you do thou...do not take this lightly! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted June 7, 2003 I think this sounds quiet serious. First, I don't think the police can actually do anything unless that person has hurt you or your property in any way. They will most likely say it's a free country, you can go and wait outside any parking space whether it be your house or someone elses. And they have no proof that you didn't give him the number, although I'm sure you didn't. I had a guy who used to follow me around for about a year, but it was harmless, he soon got tired and gave up when we moved. Clown, I'm shocked you think she should give this guy a chance. Clearly she has told this man in plain language to leave her alone. The girl plans to get married. Why should she give other guys a chance? Would you like it if your girl went off with another guy when your wedding is approaching? NO means NO. Modesty, I strongly advice you to change your number, and to inform a friend about the situation. . I don't think 'putting your life on hold' is a safe attitude. Why don't you have girlfriends sleep over for a while or sleep over at their house. Or better yet invite a cousin or brother or sister to stay with you for a while. Basically, anything to keep you safe. Remember that it is a lot harder to attack or approach 2 people. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted June 7, 2003 START BY LIVING WITH U'R FAMILY,AIN'T NO SOMALI GIRL GOT HURT BY LIVING WITH HER MOTHER REMEMBER. Shyhem, pls tell me you're being sarcastic or something?? I don't think that any muslimah should live by herself. I don't even know that if she can leave her parents side if she's not married. Khayr, I live on my own and I still have have to take pre-cautions when it comes to keeping myself safe. Whether I was living with my parents or not!! As far as Islam is concerned, I would've been aware if it was totally OUT OF THE QUESTION for a muslimah to live away from home. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Libaax-Sankataabte Posted June 7, 2003 Any word on Modesty? Are you ok out there? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
La-y-La Posted June 8, 2003 Modesty, where u @ gurl? is ilaali and make sure u get restraining orders against him. u cant trust ppl now a day. asalaamu aleykum and hope everything turns out fine insha'allah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Modesty Posted June 8, 2003 I want to let everyone know alhamdullilah I'm okay. The past few days I slept over my friend's house, because I was too freaked out to stay at home by myself. I just got back home, and since I don't have a caller I.D., I don't know who has been calling.I haven't heard from that psycho guy(alhamdullilah) for now, but if I hear from him again I will definitely take stronger action. Staying with people, rather than just being all alone by myself really alleviated my fear. For now I just have to watch my back,be very careful especially since I come from work really late. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jamilah Posted June 10, 2003 Asalamu Calykum, WOW this sounds really freaky , be really careful. If it was me who was in this situation i would want to find out how he got my number. Friends? possibly the one you are staying with? Do not eliminate any possibilities. Second option: 2-kidnap him, tie him up, blindfold him, take him to a forest, and leave him stranded in the middle of nowhere after humiliating him (get his clothes and shoes off, and leave him cold with only his pants on (u dont wanna c whats under there!) Once you do that above hope to God he is not a vengeful individual Keep in touch we are all praying. Salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2real Posted June 10, 2003 Modesty, there's enough of us here in SOL living everywhere in the states. Let us know where you live. We will meet, say whazup, go out for coffee, and then we'll go take care of this dude. Me personally, I'll come and help you out if you are anywhere in Michigan. So who's covering the other states? Where the men of SOL at? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted June 10, 2003 Hello Modesty my sister told me about this topic and it sounded so serious and scary that i came back from retirement just to try give u tips: 1. First of all get an answering machine because u need to keep all ur conversation with him documented. 2. Buy pepper spray and carry it with u all the time. 3. Inform you neighboors of your sitution so that they would be more aware and helpful. 4. Take a picture of him if possible when he is following u or something. 5. Program in your cell 911 as a speed dial, therefore it's easier for u to contact the police quickly. 6. Have a system where ur friends in town call you on a regular basis say like every 3 hours. 7. If he attacked you, most common women go for groin area to hit, but poke his eyes with your fingers, therefore if he had his hands around u neck or something, he would let go. 8. Again use those documented messages or calls from him and take them to police, even if they would not do something immediatly, u would have a record in the worest case scenario. Alright, i am going back to my hiding place, but i do hope these suggestions helps u anyways possible. Take care of yourself bee bye. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZOLA Posted June 11, 2003 MODESTY...MOST OF THE NOMAD HERE HAVE GIVEN U GOOD ADVICE...I WOULD SUGGEST THAT U HAVE SOMEONE CHECK ON U EVERYDAY..GOOD LUCK HON . A.A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Modesty Posted June 14, 2003 Mailaka I would definately say so! Scorpion_sista sorry for the late reply, I thank you for your advice as well as everyones. Okay ppl, some people were suggesting that I kidnapp the man...helloooo :rolleyes: , did I say he is like almost 200lbs., and I'm not close to picking up his hand! Anyways, I appreciate the advice, and I want to get the pepper spray(I like that advice!)...Thanks and I'm okay! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
