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Bess.

what do u want from us......i want to now plz...

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Bess.   

ok...here is the thing....from what i gathered...somali men at this day and age have expectations from thier potential future wives....besides being cultural and affleuent in the traditional somali ways of our ancestors, they also want expect to be religiously educated and aware....see all this i have i believe is great and we should all be very stepped in our religion and culture.....but what am a little confused about is that they also prefer for us to be educated...well...if that is to be how do u expect a person to have dedicated all this time and effort in an education and then they expect u ...to stay at home and then raise the kids ...and God forbid ...that u want to have a career after u've had kids....is it so wrong for me to want it all....a great home and a great career?...plz help a sister outtttttttt

peace

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I would prefer my wife (or my future partner) to be well educated, calm, smart and of course pretty though it is not necessary to me, she should also be honest.

 

I would well educate my kids (male & Female).

 

But there is s/thing else ,,,,,, well,,, lemme just take a break and get back to you.

 

See u

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Dear Besbaaso,

 

Our excellent prophet, (scw) said, in a xadiith narrated by Abdullahi ibn Cumar Al'caas, "The world is nothing but a temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is a rightious woman".

 

Therefore, I strongly would like to have a righteous wife, who can enable me teste the joy in this life. I need not the kind of wife who knows nothing but the western way of life. Am a simple Somali man. My demands are doable. I am only excercising within my rights as a Muslim. That is all, abaayo.

 

By the way abaayo, can you read this article? It simply sheds some light on the characteristics of a Muslim/Somali woman, OK, deal done!

 

http://www.islamhouse.com/en/books/pdf/en2294.pdf

 

http://www.islamhouse.com/en/books/pdf/en2294.pdf

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OG_Girl   

basbaaso, I understand you sister. I am my self kind of want all,tie family life , kids, high education..hmm I am not sure career things maybe cause I don't need it in this time.God knows future.

 

I think my dad will call me even when I am in my 40s asking me how was school, exams..etc.

 

Ofcourse wont stay till I get PHD damn hell NO!! so I am planing to keep studing even when kids are in Universities.

 

I got already that dream man..well, atleast that what he tells me..."I can keep study till I am tried of it".

 

Salam

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maajo   

BESbaaso every-men has his special test in ladies

as common features or most appreciated features men test in women is

1) to be educated

2) she have to be very stepped in our holly religion

4) have talent/capable of understanding or manage her husband /bf

 

3) good looking(optional)

but i am telling the one never need to have these obove metioned features is

1) wey qurux badan tahay indhaha aya uroon

2) she has good flexible and compatible character

aniga tan hoose an jeclahay aqoona haku darsato kulaha(ILAAH HA SAHLO ALA DHAHA TAS CAMAL SALADna waa LOo TUKADA)

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NGONGE   

but what am a little confused about is that they also prefer for us to be educated...well...if that is to be how do u expect a person to have dedicated all this time and effort in an education and then they expect u ...to stay at home and then raise the kids ...and God forbid ...that u want to have a career after u've had kids....is it so wrong for me to want it all....a great home and a great career?...plz help a sister outtttttttt

Sister, you don’t have to study to be able to work. The hope is that you’ve spent all that time in learning and studying to improve your knowledge not to just get a job. Two separate things, you see.

 

 

I wouldn’t worry myself with getting answers for all these questions. Usually, people change their minds about lots of things when they get married. We’re merely human; we can’t plan for every eventuality. When the time comes though, be happy that he wants YOU and not all these inconsequential things on those made up lists.

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Somali men can want and expect all they want, and wish upon a star on the perfect woman. But are they going to get what they put on their wish list, the jury is still out on that one. I've never really met a Somali man who had the courage or the audacity to said to me, I want a religious, educated, goal oriented, career oriented, who know her culture, language and on top of all that who's going to be a super mom. Dude, I'm just an average Xalimo who's trying to make it on this cold, and cruel world, so you either hop on this ride with me and see where the wind takes us, or cagta wadada saar. I don't think that there is any particular combination of these good qualities men and women look for that are best, since I believe that people come as a complete package and you accept them as such (all the things you like and hope for change for those you don't).

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I think I see that most of the women who want to be a wife, mother, and a bussinesswoman expect thier future hubbies to agree to their demands and dont want him to expect them to change for him.

 

Laakin they also expect a man whose opinon of a wife is to stay home and cook, to change for them and accept her working and etc. THIS CANNOT WORK AND IS NOT FAIR. You dont want to change for him...laakin you expect him to change? Saas miyaa?

 

YOu cant change a person...to be happy you have to find someone who agrees with ur views and isnt uncomfortable with u bringing home the beef too.

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Khayr   

Originally posted by Damsel:

I think I see that most of the women who want to be a wife, mother, and a bussinesswoman expect thier future hubbies to agree to their demands and dont want him to expect them to change for him.

 

Laakin they also expect a man whose opinon of a wife is to stay home and cook, to change for them and accept her working and etc. THIS CANNOT WORK AND IS NOT FAIR. You dont want to change for him...laakin you expect him to change? Saas miyaa?

 

YOu cant change a person...to be happy you have to find someone who agrees with ur views and isnt uncomfortable with u bringing home the beef too.

Thats my wifeyyyy right thuuuur!

 

Macaanti, I got that Tiffany's Diamond ring you wanted on Lay Awayyyy for YOU! :D

 

Speakn On it, Sistah!

 

Preach on Shiekhaaa!

 

I got your back! ;)

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^ Weyna kaa! I always suspected Khayr was on a hunting mission and now I have been proved right! :D

 

 

Damsel,

 

Run like the wind dear girl. You don't want to go there!

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Bess.   

Originally posted by Damsel:

I think I see that most of the women who want to be a wife, mother, and a bussinesswoman expect thier future hubbies to agree to their demands and dont want him to expect them to change for him.

it is happening again...ppl r misunderstanding....i never said that i wanted to change him...if i chose him just the way he is...that is how i want him....and there r no demands on him....all i want is for him to take me as i am....

to bro ngonge....i might have simplified the question...when i say career...i don't mean a job...i mean a fulfilling path that came as a result of my studies...im a research student in a biology department...and it is my goal to find cures for some the illnesses that are out there in the world...inshallah....

thanks for all ur feed back..... smile.gif

respect

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