Selfish

[Jurnee]

salaam...my two cents

 

i dont really think looking out for your self is selfishness, it just means you know dantaada, however, never going out of your way for someone else, especially if they are your family or friends, or never actually wanting to sacrifice a little of your own comfort and happiness to help someone out is selfish...and mean... and not to mention rude.

 

I think if you expect your family and friends to be there for you and go out of their way for you, you should be willing to the same for them. Besides it feels good when you know you did something for someone, whether it means helping them move, cooking a meal for them, driving them somewhere, lending them money or even keeping them company when they are down.

 

For me a selfish person is one who somehow always seems to make everthing about themselves even when a situation isnt even about them and forgets about others.

[underdog]

Originally posted by shankaroon:

I think if you expect your family and friends to be there for you and go out of their way for you, you should be willing to the same for them.

Please Clarify because it sounds like what you're saying is you should only do for those who can do some thing for you?

 

Your reason for doing something is in order to get something back when needed???? isn't that selfishness too?

[J.Lee]

I think she means; Do unto others as you wish done unto yourself.

 

Basically, if you expect others to help you out in your time of need then you should be willing to do the same for them.

[Faarax-Brawn]

But unlike the selfish person, this person is compassionate enough and wise enough to share his blessing with the unfortunate folk

Baashi! Baashi Baashi!, When the altruist does all the good,hes doing it so he can feel better, when the Selfish person doesnt give,he gives so he can get more[more for him,feel better]

 

 

I beleive when someone gives for the sake of deriving good feelings, they act selfishly.

 

So in essence, everyone is selfish in some way.

 

 

MsWord:

Basically, if you expect others to help you out in your time of need then you should be willing to do the same for them

Doin' it so that you get a return?[For your own Good?], tsk tsk tsk...its got selfish written all over it.

 

Your reason for doing something is in order to get something back when needed???? isn't that selfishness too?

Bingo!

[J.Lee]

Tough, and rough with my Afro puffs, sometimes you have to be selfish to be unselfish.

[Faarax-Brawn]

Tough, and rough with my Afro puffs, sometimes you have to be selfish to be unselfish

Aha!

 

Therefore,in essence, to be succesful[in being unselfish,watever], is it safe to conclude that, it’s a must have virtue’ as stated by Qaliirow[boombale looking buddy of mine]

[underdog]

Originally posted by MsWord:

Tough, and rough with my Afro puffs, sometimes you have to be selfish to be unselfish.

very catchy statement.

 

try this one on for size

You can easily judge the character of a person by how he treats those who can do nothing for him or to him

[Baashi]

Afro,

Not necessarily. When genuine altruist gives alms to the needy, he does so not because one drives a great pleasure from the act nor does one expects reward from it, one gives because of fullfilment of duty imposed by one’s own conscience or say by a divine directive.

 

The notion that one cannot have genuine altruistic motivation is a nonsense (excuse the lingo). I know there are some folks who hold the view that one can “appear†outwordly altruistic but deep down one performs the act to gain personal benefit. That my friend is an unsubstantiated opinion based on dogmatic belief.

 

I’m sure you heard people (some of them Athiests) who donate (ananymously) millions to international charities, some volunteer their time to society’s less fortunate. One would be hard pressed to claim that these altuiristic deeds are done in the hope of a return favor.

 

That being said, I concur the fact that humans have selfish tendencies but I belief that these selfish urges are checked by religious teachings and the sense of duty innate to human nature.

 

Is it me or you are confusing Danti yaqaan with selfish folk .

[STOIC]

I beleive when someone gives for the sake of deriving good feelings, they act selfishly.

 

So in essence, everyone is selfish in some way.

The word selfish is a synonym of evil; the image it brings to our mind is of a warlord who trumbles on the corpses of innocent civilians :mad: .When i looked on merriam-webster online dictionary the word selfish came up us "concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others".This defination does not tell us whether this is a good or bad thing-but we as a humanbeings can infer from our general prinicple what is good or bad.I said it before every one will always put his or her desires before anyone.When a father sends his sons to a good school he is doing it for his own selfish gain because he wants them to get good gardes and education.The father is doing what he wants-so he is a selfish!.We can play with the word as much as we want and interpret as we please depending whether we are a moralist or not.All we need is to balance between being a selfish hog and a selfless person.Baashi's idea of "tanti yaqan" will be a good one atleast for me!.

[Faarax-Brawn]

I’m I’m sure you heard people (some of them Athiests) who donate (ananymously) millions to international charities, some volunteer their time to society’s less fortunate. One would be hard pressed to claim that these altuiristic deeds are done in the hope of a return favor

Baashow BashBashleeya,

 

Lookie here sir, you have managed to swing the entire argument to alms giving and charities.

 

You have got to look at the bigger picture of selfishness itself. When one gives out those millions anonymously, they are definitely doing it for a reason, I.E Feeling Good [or whatever the reason they gave them millions for].

 

On the other hand, the selfish fellow didn’t give his millions, because he feels good by keeping what is his [more] than having less!. Both thought of ‘self’. Granted different. But nonetheless self-ish.

 

When the generous altruist gives out part of his money, I am sure he does it so that he can help others which in turn makes him feel good.

 

Otherwise, if it was just about getting rid of the money, he could just go to Buula Xuubey and literally bury it in the ground.

 

There is got TO be a motive [not necessarily monetary or name recognition], but an inner Motive. Sense of pride.

 

Looking at it from another view here;

You mentioned religion, which in the case of Islam REWARDS those who give to the less fortunate a good life in the here after. Someone could say that is selfish,NO?

 

A combative farax/xalimo will probably jump on my neck for the above comment.

Most likely though, a moderate thinking one will come and say ‘but Afro that’s a duty’

 

Which one might reply, why is that duty performed in the first place??

 

Dig?

 

 

Stoic, it’s a completely different issue when someone is in public office.

 

For their duty is not for self, but rather for serving the public.

And if a leader as such breaches his duty, then the legal system of that particular place should charge him for vicarious liability. Still selfish it is.

[Nephissa]

Selfishness is part of survival. Need to look out for your own interest sometimes, step on few toes to get ahead if necessary.

[Baashi]

No I didn’t swing the topic . Sxb charity is unselfish act, a virtue, and as such can be used to contrast the narrow self interest vice. When charity is done for selfish reasons, it cease to be a charity. Are u with me on this?

 

I consider selfishness (in my humble opinion) a negative character trait. Mention selfishness and greed comes to mind! I agree with you, however, people do things for a reason. But, the reason is not always selfish! Yes, every action has a motive. However not all actions have selfish motives. Some people are motivated by a gamut of reasons or even emotions such as happiness, feeling good, satisfaction, pleasure, and so on. However, not all people are always motivated by narrow self-interest. Sxb feeling good, pleasure, happiness, and other emotional benefits that you are associating with unselfish acts are not the end in itself.

 

Look at the big picture? Love doing that. Remember I have no quarrel with the fact that selfishness can be viewed as the primary concern to one’s own welfare. I like to call it Danti yaqaan I even maintain that one ought to do what’s best for him as long as one is not doing at the expense of others. And the minute you realize that it is not right (morally) to get ahead at the expense of others (Nike/Western capitalism in relation to the third world), or keep your accumulated “gain†while others are dying, you have become unselfish human being who is considerate enough to withhold immediate gratification in order to do what is right.

 

You asked “why is that duty performed in the first place??†Because it is the right thing to do!

 

Timo fargeeto waa iska sheekeysanaynaa sxb hadde Opinions vary!

[underdog]

Originally posted by Bishaaro:

Selfishness is part of survival. Need to look out for your own interest sometimes, step on few toes to get ahead if necessary.

Spoken like a true predator. Gotta feed on the weak. Step on some toes kulaha..... It's all good until you're on the recieving end, right? If you can't get yours without watching out for your neighbors toes then you need to go back to basics and relearn how to get ahead

[Nephissa]

UD: I don't consider myself being a recipient of charity. Have helped so many people achieve their potentials, and no matter how much I stayed humble in my heart, there was always someone in this corporate world tryna crawl over me, bogart or even pigeonhole me. Can't blame the girl for looking after herself now, can ya?

 

As far as I can see, the complexitiy of human interactions in the work place is more complex even than marriage.

 

Step on them before you get stepped on is my motto.

[Jurnee]

By this I think if you expect your family and friends to be there for you and go out of their way for you, you should be willing to the same for them - i didnt mean you should do things for people purely based on the idea that you will get something back, but just to keep on mind that people behave towards you how you behave towards them, and not to be mad or hurt when others are less willing to jump at the thought of helping out if you have never done anything for them.

 

Helping people should be a selfless act, but realistically, everyone knows that no one really enjoys helping someone out continuously who obviously doesnt appreciate it or doesnt even think to help themselves, im talking about the 'takers' and 'moochers' who never know how to give back or how to move up in their lives. It's not a selfish thing to stop wanting to help this person, it just means ur smart and not a dhabaal to continue allowing to be used by someone.