High divorce rate amongst somalis ? Do you agree?

[Chocolate and Honey]

Sis 1000 or whatever, you were doing fine untill you wrote this:

Anyway, in my culture, the divorce rate for muslims is very low. Divorce is pratically unheard of.

Apparantly, divorce is a very bad decision to you so the fact that you said it's unheard of in your community is a tale-tale sign that you look down upon the people who divorce hence the Somalis you mentioned. Your tone is accusatory and you're bitterly sarcastic. Married or divorce, in this day and age it surprises me that you would advice a woman not to study or work and only depend on her husband? WTF?

For me personally, you dont sound sincere in your quest for knowledge of Somali culture/beliefs/cust oms.

I dislike people who meet a couple of people from a certain culture/background and go like "my (put ethnic here)friends act/talk/move this way."

:rolleyes:

[Paragon]

^That little sentence and its laden undertones got me started, C&H.

 

Sabriya, lol. OK, then.

[Aaliyyah]

c&h somalidu waxay ku maahmaahda hadal ma aha sida loyidhi ee wa sida loo qaatay..waxa dhici karta in ay simply ka waday furitaan dadkooda wa ku yaryahay yadoo waxkale uga jeedin....hadana anuu qalbigeeda kuma jiro oo ilaahay ma og..lakin wax kasta si qalad ah lofahmo hadal badan oo mala yacni ah lagama baxayo...

 

Haye iska waran, xaggee joogta, Aabbe ma jooga, ya?? [big Grin]

aniga waa fiicnahay abahayna maxa kaaga soo lumay agtiisa

 

salaam

[Abwaan]

Originally posted by -MARX-:

I think its a well established truth that divorce is rampant amongst the Somali community in the diaspora. Rather than finding excuses for divorce, we should instead be looking to find solutions to this epidemic.

 

I think from what I have seen there are a number of reasons for the increase in divorce rates.

 

1. Societal pressures for women to get married as soon as possible.

2. Lack of companionship and mutual respect between the husband and the wife.

3. Men losing their roles as bread-winners.

4. The emancipation of women and the creation of opportunities.

5. Turning away from Islam and people becoming more western and liberal.

7. Marriage being no longer a sacred institution that should be protected

8. External forces seeking to destroy the family (extended families esp. Mothers in Law from the woman side)

9. No patience and trying to work things out

10. Divorce becoming common and a viable soultion to end a have decent marriage.

11. Extra-matiral affairs

 

There might more that I have missed out. This is just stretching the surface, I am sure there more reasons.

I couldn't agree with you more. You have listed all the main issues.

[Chocolate and Honey]

Sabri, huuno this one hit me on wajiga. Naagta sheeko iyo halagaa sheego ayey meesha la imaatay, mar ay dhahdo nimanka soomaalida ha la iiga waramo iyo mar ay dhahdo anaga waa unheard of. Been badanaa, I personally know more divorced Pakistani women seeking to marry Somali men than any other race and I dont go arround generalising and saying "naag pakistani ayaa sidaa sameeysay ama i tiri ee ma igu raacsantihiin? Alah! very few people get on my nerves wallahi but cilmi doon kama aha naagta.

[Aaliyyah]

I guess everyone sees things from a different angle. I guess I can see where you'r coming from...

[Lt-Qalbi-Adeyg]

There is really nothing wrong with divorce per se, the whole idea of staying with the same person for eternity is not appealing or realistic anymore. The whole idea of 'death due us part' only made sense when people life expectancy was considerably shorter than today, when we live up to 80 or more years.

[Poker]

^^That is why polygamy seems is so appealing.

 

Why getting divorce when you can take second, third or fourth wife.

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by Paragon:

^Lol. Koolkat. Walaaleey ma kacsani axem...

. Balse runtii sod all this fakeness oo la leeyahay discard what you stand for to please others. Waxaan nahay waan nahay, kolkaa uma baahnin mid yaroo habow ah oo san nala soo gasha. Weli ma aragtey qof ajnabi ah oo qowmiyaddiisa dadka kale u caynaya? Waan necebahay Soomaalida dhulka isku jiidda markey qof ajnabi ah arkaan. Is tus tusnimada noocaa ah waan ku laabjeexaa. Waa spinelessness.

Horta ma'ila aragtaybo sidaan ajnabi uga dambeyno? Any excuse in the book and then some bey usameeyeen cunugta...Laakiin kugumaan ogeen inaad saan u qanjaruufo adagtahay, cunugta cajaradaad gudiidisay baan ku iri...

 

 

Meeshaad tagtaba mid ha ku daba joobto waa duco sxb. Hooyadey baa iigu ducaysey.

Bal usheeg, in hoyadii uduceyso kaliya uu helo in ladaba joogo markasto! :cool:

[NASSIR]

Excellent list of reasons by Marxwith the exception of # 4

 

 

Paragon and KK, waa runtiin. Waa wax aad looga caroodo qof dadkiisa hoos u dhigaayo markey ajanabi arkaan. Bal muxuu ka heli. Koley ummad wadankoodi iyo burburey wax walba ka filo. The only institution that has perfectly kept our identity from blemishes and scars is Islam. Other important institutions have all collapsed or they barely function.

[Aaliyyah]

aniga waxay ila eegtahay in gabadhu su'aal yar na waydiisay oo ah dadkeena iyo furitaanka sidu yahay in uu badanyahay iyo inkale...marka hadii runta la sheego oo la dhoho haa arintaas way jirtaa miya dadkaaga hoos u dhigasa?...

 

 

salaam

[Hassan_B]

Sabriya,

 

Thank you for your good opinion of what I've written. What I wrote was for more than just people writing in somali, even though that in itself is not good etiquette, but rather for the less than praiseworthy things that were said of the sister with it. That is what really compelled me to say something, I was hoping people would get that out from my writing. Perhaps I was not direct enough or my somali simply sucks.

 

This is in no way debasing oneself, if one is honest and truly caring towards others, that will shine through and will truly impress others, not pretending like being a somali is the pinnacle of human perfection. If we were truly blunt, our general situation shows that as somalis we don't have much to be proud of. Does that mean I am self hating want to abandon who I am? No, Allah has made a somali, I am content with where I'm from and my lineage. And this allows me to be self critical when need be.

[Paragon]

KK, Lol. Cajarada in laga qanjaruufto oo laga guduudiyo soo ayada ma soo doonanin?

 

NASSIR, thanks bro. You're right.