Originally posted by Castro: Awareness of the child's whereabouts, their friends, their activities, their school, their grades, and their spare time is the deterrent to delinquency and pre-adulthood sex. That awareness is difficult for one parent and must be shared. This brings us back to this issue, if a parent is away, hell can happen. Especially in a community where male role models are hard to find. Parenthood is a tough responsibility alot of sacrifices from the parents are needed.Personal interests tend to be kept on hold to create that healthy environment. I wish parents could think about their children more. We have alot of stray kids, neglected by their paents. Hope the husband thinks hard on this issue and if he still makes the decision to divorce.He be man enough to still "father" his children through thick and thin.

quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Nur: the relationship hit a "rock" after a problem surfaced between them that "its impossible to solve" and can not be shared on this forum, Faarax believes he can "solve that problem by the next marriage " -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bro Nur, Islamically speaking if the "rock bottom" reason it a "valid" reason *stressing on the solution is only new marriage*, he is still bound to explain to his wife his choices... And well beleive both of them Husband and wife pray Salatul Istikhara to find the better choice than a clear cut NO as it affects them both. As for the other lady, I would tell her to make up her mind n pray her share too. Its a tough choice really.Tell her to put herself in wife no.1's shoes and think of her welfare. Fiamanillah *Topic like these make my heart ache.* [ November 26, 2005, 21:10: Message edited by: Rahima ]

I am now a beginner in learning a lot about their attitudes Inshallah kheir. Looking forward to see the up coming product. Fiamanillah

Seriously speaking, I am for the Mens room. They deserve it and with such a list Nur came up with, seems we do have a problem. Leave it to the men to discuss the topics. Inshallah I wont mind sharing advice or two. Fiamanillah.

The article

Northerner, Mashallah,you making me green, . I love viewing the architecture of Muscat. I was fascinated to know that all the plans for new buildings had to be in conform with Islamic architecture. If your plan wasnt they gave you Islamic architectural options, plans are changed then permission of buildings were issued. Strict people when you look at it, but the houses and buildings look good. Mashallah. Looking forward to see the rest of the collection, inshallah.

^ I second that.

Curling Waterfall, LP fans, I was just expressing the other possible meaning of that statement and what it implies. Circumstances dont matter to a coward, he/she will never learn. Unless he/she finds it in him/her the "need" to overcome the obstacle.This is human behaviour. My apologies, for the misunderstanding. Ngonge presented an outstanding paper. Jazhallah kheir never to late to learn something new and change .

Naam, kaka hapa jaharibika neno, ulioyasema yote ni kweli.Mie nilikuwa ninakutaarifu tuu mie niyajuayo. Naam, wanayo damu ya kiaarabu lakini makazi yao ni Somalia. Siku pata bahati kuuwauliza kuhusu asilia yao hasas ni kutoka wapi, lakini sitashangaa damu yao ilichanganyika na ya kiOmani. Kwani waOmani walipokuwa wanakuja Zanzibar walikuwa wakitia nanga(anchor>Im forgetting my vocab took me ages to remember that word ) kwenye maji ya Somalia na pia ardhi ya sahil(Ulingo wa bahari? coast) ya kutoka mozambique mpaka somalia ilikuwa chini ya Mulki yao.

^^^Lool, to that statement. Refering to that statement, well a person cant change his character just because he has changed his medium of communication. Its not normal, we coin them to have a "Split personality". So if he is a coward he should always be one. AGAIN, it’s your words and the power of your argument that is most important here, not who got offended, what others think of you or controversy. Never place emotion before thought, passions before ideas and anger before reason. If people get angry, I say, frankly, stuff’em! Thanks for the reminder.

^^ Ok,got the BIG picture. My 5 seconds are over

^^^Why? He is married has to take permission from wife. Castro, An interesting read, just wondering can it be applicable to Somalis? Why because for approx 27.5yrs these studies have been done, proving that the people were natives and they consider the place home. As for us somali we are situated in different parts of the world, and any time parents can pack their bags n move with their children, without putting the childs psychological needs into consideration. *Well, was just a thought.* Apart from that, do parents (Somali) agree on mutual support esp. the childrens psychological and emotioal wellbeing? Mos tof the time, once divorced, abo never takes the interest to how the children are developing. Or you find Hoyo, acting funny when he does come around to see his children. Think as a community the idea of counselling still seems foreign. I remember reading an article claiming that single parenthood is a leading reason for underage sex. The study was conducted in Britain. I know its a bit off topic, and we will say we are muslim its a Gaalo thing. BUT its a danger calling near home as more Somali families have assimilated to the western culture. More teenage pregancies have been reported among our race. As single parents have less time to be with their children thus left to their own ways. Will try to goggle up the article.

^^^^ If we are becoming "gender sensitive"and "promoting gender equality" then it is mandatory for the Gentlemen to have their own leg room, right? As for the Politic and sports section they may be male dominate but accessible to all. Doesnt count as the male room, there isnt a precaution sign posted *Strictly for male* Ah,if only there was less somali written and tribalistic views in the politics section.... Nur (and those who support the crusade), why dont you create a poll, see how many of the male gender want their grooming room? Admin will have to consider the statistics.*just an idea* Business and financing :confused: What about a thread titled Professionalism or something instead so that the "no-longer students" can discuss stategies of life(work ethics), business, investments and matters relating to their professions?

Flipmode, Its a known fact that domestic violence is the most common form of violence women get involved with. Why because most of the time its their spouse, partner, ex-s, and sometimes brothers and children who hurt these women either physically or verbally. The biggest problem is the women do not react to it, until its too late due to fear and not wanting to hurt their dears lives. Thus you can even find cases because the moteher was victimised she later victimises her children, who are weaker than her. Its a terrible circle. Needs to be changed. My concern is how to help these women, every new day we read reports and new statistics come up. And Yet more women are being "Violated" Im trying to download the PDF file as the statistics seem very high on the BBC report. So far what I know is in earlier researches cultural norms were not taken into consideration. It is an essential part to be considered when we say someone is being abused/victimised. If Im to give an example, you may see a Nigerian woman being shouted at by her husband to and fro and she does the same. In my point of view the shouting is abuse because of my cultural upbringing. But if you sit and learn the norms of that culture you notice that that is the way the communicate. But everyone is talking about 'The Fate of a muslim woman'..see that propaganda I dont see the propaganda, can you elaborate.

Stoic, back home it was politically correct to call them >Wa Barawa, they used to address themselves as Barawas or Mbarawa(swahili). The Barawas we have in Tz , have lost their mothertongue, they speak proper Zanzibari Swahili. And were considered Arabs and not Somalis. The wife of Salim Ahmed Salim, former OAU leader for an example is a Barawa.

JAMANI mnaofanya kazi basi hili liwe onyo Titled :lazma uwe makini, au huna kazi!! Alipoonywa asipokuwa makini kibarua kitaota nyasi(Atafukuzwa), jamaa ikawa hata anapotoa fotokopi anaangalia spelling mistakes, eti fotokopi mashine inaweza kufanya makosa. alipotakiwa kubana matumizi, ikawa jamaa anapohitaji karatasi anatoa fotokopi ya empty paper .. akiamini anapata extra paper!!! ikawa sababu ya kufukuzwa kwani kazi inachelewa na wino wa fotokopi unakwisha haraka... LIFE IS EASY, DONT OVERBURDEN YOURSELF

Bro Nur He needs to find inner peace first as whatever choice he takes looks like a no win situation.Even if you give him sound advice. My advice, solitude for a while, pray Salatul Istikhara, increase charity and good deeds and continue to think hard. Somewhere across the lines, he shall find the solution. As Allah says "Ask of me, I am the Helper/Giver/Answerer"

Prefer her(THE NUMBER UNO) not to get involved, poor woman she has already lost her husband,.. now have blood on her hands, naah. She wont be able to forgive herself especially when she looks into her childrens eyes.

^^^ long n hard, indeed be careful you maybe a grey head before your days. Interesting read, arent the things he proposed, fruit, honey... part and parcel of a healthy living. Nothing new, really or special for polygamy. So whats this connection with Habaa Sawda?. I know it has many benefits but never knew its widely used in our community. And how to they use it? Read some interesting stuff(Islamic medicine) but no measurements provided. Benefits of Habaa sawdah- Black seed

mmh, so we fill it in ourselves? 1. Proud, can be vocal(*could get physical ?*) when womens rights are abused by beleiving brothers. 2.Strong women, survivors trying to make a difference in this virtual world. 3.Compassionate and supportive of fellow sister crusades. 4.... and more for later

^^ some threads which may interest you. http://www.somaliaonline.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=003865 http://www.somaliaonline.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=003634

^^^ Bro Nur, Im glad youve replied at last. Like some who said there was no call for an apology, I agree with them. Instead a retraction of your statement would have been in order especially as it wasnt supported by divine guidance. The approach you choose to take though was humble and out of generosity. May Allah reward you. Fiamanillah.

Bro.Nur, Its another interesting post on polygamy from a different angle. From what the husband reports its a case of "love" - "huba" which is troubling him. I dont think he has a case to consider marrying a second wife, it carries no weight.I would also advice him to sit and think about his marriage, his responsibilities and priorities in life. Unless there is some more information we know not of. Juxa, sis You have a point when women let themselves go , in my abo words "given up with life" they do tend to put off their men.And give allowance to the roaming eye and flirtations. Its a duty for both partners to look attractive and pleasing to the eye of the other.Guess we need to come up with a strategy to help married women to keep beautiful n all when everything around them is havoc (can hear the wailing of the baby in the background, a hungry husband, kids making a mess in the kitchen, sister in law sitting watching tv unmoved). I think a household plus personal wellbeing time management course 101 is in need.

Few "Somali" male names which Ive come across (dont know the meaning) Heldid, Warmahaye, Adhan, Batuun/Batoon Geedi, Binleh, Abokor, Ogad, Hirad, PS. Just remembered somewhere in the archives there is a thread with a similar purpose. You may find more somali names there too.

Wow, it is amazing. Welcome aboard, smart mind